Valandar TheRed wrote:
Disclaimer: Prozac is overrated, and I didn't invent the
Nerima crowd. Thanks for your support.
Hazards of Redemption
Chapter Two: Oni in my Dreams
Happosai, Grand Master of the School of Anything Goes
Martial Arts had been called many things in his long life.
Most of them had something to do with his perversions, and
not a few had to do with his less than handsome appearance.
But never had he heard anyone that seemed to be in his right
mind call him cute.
Of course, this still didn't happen. "Fascinating,"
said Kenchiro, the reformed Oni. "I though the Bakemono had
left Japan three hundred years ago."
Jumping off Ranma-chan's heavenly bosom, and bouncing
around as he dodged the punches, kicks, tables, chairs, and
students the redhead directed at him.
Even though it is long, this sentence is incomplete. It should
probably be either more complete, or even more fragmentary.
Such a playful thing,
really. "Hmm? Look, whoever you are, I'll have you know I am
most certainly _not_ a goblin." He would have continued, but
an unfortunate Senior had just impacted with his head.
Kenchiro turned to Ranma. "Do you mind? I am attempting
to have a conversation with this Bakemono."
As Happosai twitched, Akane smirked. "He's not a goblin,
Kenchiro. He's the pervert who invented Ranma's and my style
of martial arts. He's totally human, no matter what he looks
like."
Shrugging the student off of him, Happosai faced
Kenchiro, eyes narrowed. "Do I know you? You look oddly
familiar."
The oni nodded. "I am the On..."
"He's the only cousin I have," interrupted Ranma. "An he
ain't a martial artist, so don't go doin nothin' to 'im!"
"Ranma-kun, this is your sensei. Should you not let him
know the tru..."
"The truth about your job, hehe?" blurted Ranma. "I
don't think so, the government could get angry, ne?"
"You're hiding something," growled the old pervert, "and
I intend to find out what it is!" Stopping only to cop a feel
on one of the younger Freshmen, he bounded out of the
One cops a feel "from" not "on".
lunchroom, and into the noonday sun.
"Just can't stay away from water, hmm, Saotome?" asked
Nabiki as she walked up. "Just this once, I'll let you get by
on credit," she said, producing a kettle.
"Why bother?" asked Kenchiro. Placing one hand on Ranma-
chan's drenched shoulder, he closed his eyes. Seconds later,
steam rose from the Chinese shirt, which now was wrapped
around a male body.
Nabiki studied the Oni. 'the big question for me,' she
thought, 'is are you good or bad for business?'
No reason not to capitalise the thoughts like any other quote.
****************************************
Happosai sat on the roof of the local mall, reclining on
a bed of silky darlings recently liberated from the lingerie
store in the mall. No, not the ones on the rack, the ones
left on the bench in the changing room. He had to figure out
what this 'cousin' of Ranma's, whatever his name is, really
meant to do.
He had known both Genma's and Nodoka's families for
seventy years, though he only knew Nodoka's by reputation.
The fact that both of Ranma's parents were only children
meant that this interloper could not be a first cousin. He
might be a distant cousin, but, somehow, the old pervert
doubted that. That, plus Ranma's pathetic attempts at lying
to him, piqued his curiosity.
He was not Ranma's cousin, that was pretty certain. And
what was the 'truth' they were trying to hide?
"Let's see," he muttered. "One, this fellow is rather
handsome, and was sitting next to Ranma in the lunchroom.
"Two, he didn't bat an eye when Ranma changed. If
anything, he looked interested.
"Three, he called me a Bakemono, a goblin. He'll pay for
that one.
"Four, Ranma was defending him, of sorts.
"Five, Akane didn't seem angry when this 'cousin' called
him 'Ranma-kun' in front of her. Okay, so maybe that doesn't
mean anything."
Sitting up, and tapping one finger against his chin, he
stewed over the evidence before him. Soon enough, his twisted
little mind put two and two together to get 54.
"He's after my Ranma-chan! Waaagh! Don't worry, Ranam-
chan!" He stood, raising one fist in the air as he placed the
other firmly against his hip. "I will protect your virtue!
For myself, of course!" Swiftly wrapping up the sweet
Funnier without the addendum.
nothings in his sack, he adjusted the mask below his nose,
and bounced off towards the Tendou Dojo.
****************************************
The walk home that afternoon started out relatively
uneventful. Kuno still hadn't returned from his trip to the
Shinjuku district from earlier that morning, and the China
crew was stuck at the Nekohanten for a busy lunch crowd.
Kenchiro stayed in the area for the afternoon, so he could
accompany his sensei's sibling and her fiance back to the
dojo.
More than we needed to know, thanks.
Couldn't find much to quarrel with in the rest of it.