Subject: [FFML] Re: [FFML][Fanfic][SM][Yaoi] Next time....
From: "DaveCatt" <catthouse@lweb.net>
Date: 11/27/1999, 3:13 AM
To: "FFML POSTING" <ffml@fanfic.com>


As promised, C+C is here....
    
    A very sweet , WAFFy story. Nicely states your arguments in favour of the Jade/Neph pairing, too, without bashing the reader over the head with 'em.
    I do think, however, that instead of focusing solely on Jade's POV, it might have been nice to see things a bit from Neph's side,  as well as the opinions of some of the rest of the cast. But that's only my opinion...
    Two nits to pick: As far as I know, you spell it Karaoke, not Kareoke. But that might just be convention, not fact. Up here in Canada, it's spelt with the 2 a's. Who knows about the rest of the planet?
    Nit number two: Maybe it was just my newsreader, but the line formatting seemed a little... off... somehow. Not that big a deal, I've seen much much worse on the list.
    All in all, nice job. I'd like to see some of the promised backstory, tho. ^__^

 Ja Ne!




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