Decrypt THIS!!!!!
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: CAGMST10.TXT
Once upon a time, there was a fanfic author.
He READ a lot more stories than he actually WROTE, though.
So, instead of geting a little work ethic, he got lazy and decided to
take the easy way out, and rag on others works instead.
So he recruited a couple of fictional charchters, snagged a movie
theatre, and grabbed some munchies.
And thus was born.......
LST1/2K: Lunatic Science Theatre 500.
Starring, in no particular order:
Maya Ibuki: Who owns �The Complete Works of Sappho.�
Mercutio: The insanity behind the madness.
Hikaru Gosunkugi: We needed a third guy willing to work for
scale. Who the hell were you expecting, Mike Nelson?
<Begin LST1/2K>
Mercutio: Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends.
Hikaru: We�re so glad you could attend.
Maya: So what�s on our plate for today?
Mercutio: CoaEG. What else?
Maya: <groan> This isn�t going to be like that meg and half monstrosity
we had to plow through last time, is it?
Mercutio: Calm down. This�s the recap episode. Not much going to
happen.
Hikaru: <ominously> Perhaps that�s just what they want you to think.
Maya: Quiet, you.
BETA VERSION - C&C welcome and appreciated
Mercutio: Beta Bersion? Nobody ever conquered the world using
the Beta Version.
www.uh.edu/~rpm/eva
-*-
John Biles & Rod M. Present
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Elseworlds
Children of an Elder God
Part 10
Parting the Veils
Hikaru: This Part illegal in all Islamic countries.
-*-
It was a shadowy chamber, its actual size hidden in
darkness. The only illumination was a dull red glow coming
from twelve holograms floating in place around a long table.
Each hologram was a sigil, a fiery circle tangled in occult
lines, no two being alike.
Mercutio: <nods> Another Microsoft board meeting. Gotcha.
At the head of the table, an elderly yet imposing
figure sat. Clothed in sea-green robes, hair simply combed
straight back, eyes hidden entirely by a cyclopean visor, he
took a moment to look upon the holograms as a king would his
subjects.
Maya: Keel has enough hair to comb? Dear God, what sort of
horrific pact did he MAKE?
After being satisfied with what he saw, he turned
his head up slightly to speak. "Ladies, gentlemen."
//"Six are past and six await,"// said a voice from
one of the holograms. The voice was male, and the sigil was
a lidless eye with a burning flame in the center. //"The
Eidoleons have surpassed our expectations."//
Hikaru: Eidoleon? They mean eidolon, right? No such word as
Eidoleon....
Mercutio: Actually, I�m pretty sure they mean the Evangelions, but....
//"However,"// said another, //"We sense treachery
from within. Lorenz, can we really trust Ikari?"// This one
was female, and old; her sigil was an inverted ankh.
Maya: Martha Stewart in her later years.
"Of course not," said the old man. "Then again, you
can't trust anyone these days. However, he is doing his job
well enough."
//"Well enough?"// asked a sarcastic, accusing
voice. This member of SEELE was male and young. His sign
resembled a kanji, though it was actually a character of the
language Aklo, which meant 'Scorpion'.
Hikaru: This particular member of SEELE spent a lot of time online
pretending that not having numbers after his name made him cool.
//"The Children were
nearly lost to us by He Who Is Not To Be Named! That is a
serious lapse in security!"//
Lorenz nodded. "I know, and I've sent a man to look
into it."
Mercutio(Keel): �And you all know that by �man� I mean some sort
of horrible maddening terror, right?�
-*-
"I am Abdul Kanephren," said the odd little man,
"Inspector for SEELE."
Hikaru(Fuyutsuki): �Hey, I happen to know that Abdul isn�t actually
a real nam- ahghaghahgagAHAGAHAGAHAHHGGHHAHAG-�
Mercutio(Kanephren): �Oh dear. Ikari-shirei, your friend appears to
have collapsed in a gibbering fit of madness. I can�t imagine why....�
He had dark bronze skin and bright
green eyes. His suit was old and slightly out of date; it
would have been fashionable when Gendo was first learning to
drive. The bowtie, which had golden fish on a bronze
background first drew the eye in, then drove it away.
Mercutio: Okay, I was around in the mid-eighties, and while the
fashion sense was bad, it wasn�t THIS bad.
It was hard to place his age, but he looked to be at least as
old as Gendo. Perhaps he had simply never replaced his
first suit.
He stood at the center of Gendo's office, staring
severely at Gendo and Fuyutsuki. Gendo was, as he always
seemed to be, poised at his desk, elbows resting on the
table, face veiled by his intertwined hands. It seemed to
annoy Kanephren.
Hikaru(Kanephren): *Note to Self: Have Gendo lose hands in
horribly ironic twist of fate soon.*
"I see," said Gendo. "What can we do for you?"
"My superiors are displeased. The incident with the
King in Yellow displayed a severe lapse in security." His
voice would have been deep if it hadn't tended to rise into
a high-pitched whine.
Maya: Rather like Shinji, then.
Gendo had to resist the urge to grind
his teeth in response. The man could have told Gendo that
he had just won a million dollars and Gendo still wouldn't
have wanted to listen to him.
"Every single book in that library was approved by
our censors.�
Hikaru(Kanephren): �Really? Even �Ten Thousand Ways to
Drive Your Friends Insane� and �The Life, Death, and Horrible
Dismemberment of Leroy Turner�?
Mercutio(Gendo): �Especially those. Have to keep my boy on his
toes.�
�Unfortunately, the teacher was subverted by
one of his students with whom he was having an illicit love
affair. He's now being held, along with the King in Yellow
himself. The student has vanished." Gendo frowned
slightly.
"Posters were put up all over town advertising the
play. Did you perhaps suffer temporary blindness and
deafness?"
Hikaru(Gendo): �What a man and his computer do in the privacy
of his own home is none of your damn business!!!!�
Gendo's frown deepened slightly. "I was in
Antarctica, directing the excavation. With what we have
found there, it will be much easier to carry out the Plan."
Mercutio(Kanephren): �Ah, yes, the Plan. Remind me to thank
you sometime soon for assisting in the annhilation of your puny
planet.�
"While nothing can excuse this incompetent
performance with regard to the King in Yellow,..." Abdul
began.
"Should I perhaps email a copy of the Plan to
everyone in NERV? Open all the sealed files and reveal
every secret to the entire populace? I was instructed to
make sure that no one would be aware the play even existed.
May I ask how SEELE's spies here ALSO failed to notice
anything?"
Hikaru(Kanephren): �Hey, we can�t have agents EVERYWHERE.
Who do you think we are, some sort of omnipotent secret cabal
of puppet master---- oh yeahhhh.........�
Abdul smiled faintly. "Another mystery I must
address. I wish to see the King, the teacher, and to talk
to the Pilots."
"I will make the arrangements."
Abdul rose. "Very good. Perhaps you may convince
me yet to give your masters a good report. Contact me when
all is ready." He departed.
Surely they are not stupid enough to think I can't
tell who that is, Gendo thought.
Maya: Heck, blind monkeys could tell who he is. Ummm......
it IS Nyarlathotep, ne?
-*-
"I can't drop the story!" Megumi said. "We had a
riot and the EVA Pilots nearly died!" She leaned forward on
her boss' desk. "NERV completely fumbled this. The public
needs to know!"
"The public doesn't need to panic. And there's no
proof Angels had anything to do with the riot. Probably
some juvenile prank involving drugs, anyway."
Maya(Megumi): *Dammit!!!! The _one_ time when it would be
journalistically responsible to print the story about the drug
induced haze, and Rupert Murdoch is nowhere to be found!!!*
Megumi frowned. If only I could remember more of
what happened, she thought. She remembered shouting about
the truth, and making out with some guy......
Mercutio(Mulder): �Scully........ why does my tongue have this weird
starchy feeling this morning?�
Maya(Scully): �I�m sure I wouldn�t know, Mulder......�
The riot hadn't even made Tokyo-3's local news; it
was almost as if it had never happened. Almost. NERV was
stonewalling, but whispers were circulating around the
journalistic underground;
Hikaru: By which she means every cheap bar and strip joint within
a fourty-mile radius.
every one she knew in the business
had tried to get information from NERV, but NERV was being
silent. "NERV wouldn't be this quiet if they didn't know
something."
"Do you actually know anything about what happened
besides 'There was a riot and orgy at the school play'?"
Mercutio: Is he saying that that one sentence isn�t newsworthy?
"NERV arrested the teacher who organized it, and
confiscated all copies of the script."
"Anything else?"
"I'm hoping to talk to some people who were there."
"Do you remember what happened?"
She laughed nervously. "Not very well."
"Forget it. Go work on that corruption case with
Judge Anzaka. If we can nail him, we'll be doing Japan a
major service."
Maya(Megumi): �I see. How much did they pay you to cover up
this one, sir?�
Mercutio(Bossman): �About a hundred thou- shut up!!!!�
"You've already got three reporters on that case!"
"The better to nail his corrupt ass to the wall,"
her boss said, then gagged when he accidentally bit through
his usual cigar and swallowed half of it. "Bleah!"
Hikaru: Perry White, this guy ain�t.
Bleah exactly, Megumi thought. Maybe I can corner
one of the pilots at school.
-*-
//"How long must we wait for this report?"// The
sigil was a floating red cadeceucus; the voice was
middle-aged, male, and sombre.
Hikaru: What�s a cadeceucus?
Mercutio: That snake staff thingy that doctors use as their insignia.
It�s supposed to be blue, though.
"A few days at most. The agent I have sent is quite
reliable." Keele smiled a tiny smile. "He has a great
interest in the success of our Plan.�
Hikaru(Keel): �Either that or he�s playing us all against each
other as pawns in his own dark designs and will eventually cast
us aside in an orgy of blood and violence. So, who�s up for dinner
and a movie?�
�Neptune, Tethys, where is your report on the aftermath of the
defeat of Ghatanathoa?"
Those two sigils hung near each other in the air.
One was a blue trident, the other a spiral of irregular
lines, somewhat like a whirlpool. Neptune spoke with a
warbling voice that reverberated strangely. //"We have
collected what could be salvaged of His remains."//
Maya(Neptune): �It would be much easier if you could get the fishing
fleet to stop harpooning us and frying us all up with some butter
and a nice cajun sauce.�
The woman's voice was deep and throaty. //"All of
His power was gone. It was utterly harmless to gaze upon
what was left of Him. Still, I fear what devouring his
power may do to the Eidoleon which fed upon him."//
"They all did to some extent," Keele said. "Which
likely diluted the effects."
Hikaru(Tethys): �You mean like the way you water down the vodka
at the minibar at every damn annual convention?�
Mercutio(Keel): �That vodka ain�t free, you know.�
//"While the Eidoleons will need their Gifts to
achieve our ends, perhaps it is better that such a Gift be
lost forever; it is too dangerous to one's friends."//
"The Medusa had no friends," Keele said. "Which is
why He has fallen."
//"The King in Yellow had friends and servants.
They did not save him. What guarantee do we have that the
Eidoleons will not turn on us?"// The old woman's voice came
from a floating image of a great cauldron.
Maya: I didn�t know the Weird Sisters had a deal with SEELE.
"They do not know we exist. And they will not,
until they are ready to join us." Keele smiled. "They are
but children."
//"They are Children,"// the old woman said, her
emphasis subtly different. //"In the fullness of their
power, they could crush us."//
Mercutio: They obviously haven�t been paying very close attention
to Shinji.
Hikaru: Evidently.
-*-
Asuka bowed to Kensuke's father, Aida Hideo. He was
Hikaru: Kudos to whoever wrote this bit for using the CORRECT
word order for his name.
short and thin, with red rimmed glasses, dressed in a
slightly battered suit. "It is a pleasure to meet you," he
said.
Mercutio(Hideo): �And by �pleasure� I mean �your mere presence
is causing emotional wounds that will grow and fester until they
make my entire existence a HORRIBLE SCREAMING HELLISH
AGONY!!!!!!!� But enough small talk. Would you like a cookie?�
"My son left something for you." He sighed. "They
won't tell me anything about him, just that he went mad
and...The not knowing is worse than the knowing."
"We'll find a way to make him okay again," she said
firmly. "I don't know how, but there has to be some way to
help him."
The man nodded; he looked weary, with dark smudges
under his eyes. He took her back to Kensuke's room, which
was a mess, with books everywhere. The walls were covered
with military and anime posters; a large poster of the three
EVAs caught her atention. A half finished battleship model
sat on a table in the corner, surrounded by parts and glue;
a faint sheen of dust sat on it. The computer was
surrounded by empty soda cans and crumpled junk food
wrappers.
Mercutio: I managed to convince them to film this segment in
my room.
Maya: You�re PROUD of that?
Hideo walked over to a clipboard by the computer and
handed it to her. "This is it." He sighed. "Let me
know...if you hear anything."
"I will."
Hikaru(Hideo): �If you need me, I�ll be in a small bar getting
tanked with all the other walk-on characters while we desperatly
thumb through �Variety� looking for work.�
She waited until she had said her goodbyes and
departed to start reading. The first page was simply a
coldmail account name and password, along with several
message numbers. She resolved to check these later.
Maya: And thus, the tiny piece of vital information that would
mean victory slips through the cracks.
-*-
Kaji stood in the EVA berth observation room. They
stood silently, unable to move in theory, as they were not
plugged in and no pilot rode in them. While they had
internal batteries, they were not capable of independent
action even while the batteries were charged. In theory.
Maya: In theory, communism works. In theory.
The window glass had been replaced from an incident
in which one of them had gone berserk; Unit-00 he believed.
It was cleaner and shinier than the rest of the room. They
were just human enough in appearance to make him feel doubt
that they could be as completely passive as the scientists
claimed.
Mercutio(Scientist 1): �Hey, maybe it was a bad idea to let them pay
us off with money, women, and our own Carribean islands to lie
like that.�
Maya(Scientist 2): �That�s a good point. Pass me that margarita, and
we�ll discuss it further.�
And they were just inhuman enough to make him fear
what might happen if the scientists were wrong.
There was too much he didn't know about them; too
much that no one knew about them. He wanted to know. NERV
was a maze of feints hidden behind masks wrapped in enigmas.
Hikaru: Gendo. He�s an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a
jacket.
"Inspector Kaji," a voice spoke from behind him.
Kaji spun and blinked. It was that Abdul fellow.
Nehru. Something like that. He'd seen him around at a few
NERV facilities; like Kaji, he was an Inspector. "Inspector
Nehru."
"Kanephren."
"Sorry. What can I do for you?" He leaned against
the glass.
"What is your opinion on the King in Yellow
disaster?"
Mercutio(Kaji): �From an extremely technical standpoint? It was
a disaster.�
"That when necessary information is too heavily
restricted, it leads to disaster."
"You're Throne clearance, correct?"
"Dominion, normally. I've been cleared up to Throne
for specific investigations at times.
Mercutio: Point of order; in ACTUAL celestial hierarchy, Dominion is
a HIGHER rank than Throne, not lower.
The information that
would have been needed to forsee this disaster was ranked
Seraphim, which meant only three people were actually
cleared for it. And since none of them were present, we had
a disaster." Kaji frowned. "That's my recommendation. Too
much information has been classed too high for no good
reason."
Hikaru(Kanephren): �So your saying that preventing the masses
from finding out our real intentions and then storming this building
in an orgy of blood and fire isn�t a good reason?�
Mercutio(Kaji): �I withdraw the statement.�
"Are you sure you don't just think that because
there's secrets you wish you knew?" Abdul's voice had just
a hint of insinuation.
"Don't you wish YOU had more clearance?� �
Mercutio(Kanephren): �Ha!!! I�ve got more clearence than God.
Literally.�
-*-
Studying the remains they had collected from the
defeated Angels hadn't told them very much, except for one
thing. While the remains all looked the same, grey,
flaking, and slowly crumbling to powder, chemically, none of
the Angels had much to do with each other. Amaliel (while
Ritsuko knew his true name now, he remained Amaliel in the
reports) seemed to have been methane-based, or possibly
generated methane; his remains were laced with it, along
with traces of the noble gases, sometimes bound impossibly
into compounds, and various heavy metals. What little
remained of the dead Cherubim was full of silicon, lead,
gold, and a variety of rapidly decaying radioactive
materials, which would likely completely vanish very soon.
The gold itself was decaying into lead, which was completely
impossible for a variety of reasons.
Hikaru: And, five hundred years LATER, modern science manages
to accomplish the exact opposite of what hundreds of Alchemists
blew themselves up attempting.
Ritsuko shook her head, and turned to one of the lab
technicians, a woman named Ryoko. Ryoko was in her early
thirties, with short brown hair and thick glasses. "Is
there anything left of the sample from the first Angel?"
Maya(Ryoko): �Just some more of that weird ash. We stuck it in
these little commemorative urns and are selling them for $24.95
each.�
Ryoko frowned. "Come and look."
They went over to one of the remote operation
waldoes. The sample itself, all that remained of the first
Angel, was inside a lead box, itself inside a small room
where everything could be manipulated using the remote
hands. The sample box, however, as Ryoko showed to Ritsuko,
contained not only a web and a tiny red and black spider.
Maya(Ritsuko): *Note to self: never watch Arachnophobia again.�
"It turned into that?"
"We hadn't checked it in a few weeks. I suppose it
will starve."
Maya(Ristuko): �Let me get this straight..... it nearly destroyed the
entire city, we defeated it mainly through luck, and NOBODY checked
up on it for WEEKS at a time? What the hell do we pay you people
for?�
"What are we looking at, ladies?"
Ritsuko nearly jumped out of her flesh, spinning
around. It was only Inspector Kanephren. He was a good
twenty minutes late, but didn't seem to care. "I was
wondering if you would come."
"I had a fascinating discussion with one of the
bridge crew, Mr. Shigeru."
Mercutio(Kanephren): �So tell me doctor, do you indeed, quote, �swing
that way,� unquote.�
Ritsuko pointed to a chair and went over to one of
the tables and sat down herself. "Fire away."
"A direct woman. I like that. What were you
working on the night of the riot at the school?"
Maya(Ritsuko): �According to the logs, I was dissecting incredibly
difficult logic problems vital to the success of the Plan.�
Hikaru(Kanephren): �Uh-huh. Now tell me the truth.�
Maya(Ritsuko): �I was downloading porn from the net. There, happy
now?�
"The Cherubim had been reviving, and we wanted to
know why."
"The Cherubim. Ahh, yes. I'd like to see it."
"Follow me. Ryoko, can you continue this analysis
for me?" She pointed to the half-finished work.
Maya(Ryoko): �But I was planning on chasing Tenchi tonight!!!!�
"Sure."
They walked through the hallways, and Ritsuko
explained in detail the various ways in which they had
studied the Cherubim. They reached the observation room
just as she said, "It is mostly comatose, though it still
looks fairly healthy, so it likely won't do anything but
sleep."
She peered down at it through the window, as did
Kanephren. The Cherubim visibly started, stood, and sniffed
the air, looking around. "Rather lively sleeping."
Maya(Ritsuko): �Strange. It should only do that if some sort of
Outer God were around. Possibly in some sort of disguise. But
that�s patently absurd.�
"This is almost certainly a bad sign," Ritsuko said,
getting out her cellular. "It likely means the security on
the other prisoner has slipped."
"The King in Yellow?"
Maya(Ritsuko): �Actually, I was thinking Salmon Rushdie, but
good point, we�ll check Kensuke�s decaying body too.......�
"Yes." She frowned, and dialed security. The
creature was now staring straight at them. Through the
speaker, she could hear it give a strangled cry.
What followed seemed, to Ritsuko, to happen in slow
motion. The Cherubim launched itself into the air, charging
at the window. In the instant it took to cross the room,
she could see some of the skin on its wings had flaked off,
revealing bright multi-colored scales.
Mercutio: This is your Byakhee.
It gave an angry
screech and smashed head first into the window. Kanephren
stood and looked quietly at it, not reacting at all as it
struck repeatedly at the window, struggling to stay aloft in
the room.
Hikaru: This is your Byakhee on a cosmic mind-trip.
By the time her phone connected to security, the
creature suddenly stiffened and plummeted. Kanephren shook
his head. "I wonder what it was thinking."
Maya: Any questions?
//"Security Post 4."//
"Can you check on the King?"
There was a pause, and while they waited, Ritsuko
said, "It gave up on that a long time ago. As far as we
could tell."
"Sometimes, hope is renewed unexpectedly before it
is crushed again."
Mercutio(Kanephren): *Damn, I love messing with these pathetic
humans......*
//"He's still frozen solid. No change."//
"I shall have to see him next. So this creature was
the clue you needed to figure out what was going on?"
"Yes."
"Along with information obtained using secret codes
your mother installed in MAGI."
Mercutio: Aren�t those Undocumented Features just a complete
bitch?
"..."
"You could be executed for that, you know.
Breaching Seraphim clearance is a major offence."
"We'd all be dead if I hadn't, and you know it."
She said, frowning intensely at the man. How did he know
about Mother's codes?
Hikaru: Maybe they dated.
"Commander Ikari has chosen to ignore this since all
was well that ended well, but I cannot afford to be so
blase. Especially since I have the following information."
He pulled several sheets of access times, dates, and
locations. "You've been doing some interesting reading. I
can't quite see the connection between all of these."
Ritsuko began to sweat. "What do you want from me?"
"Sector 13, to start with."
"I can't take you there! Commander Ikari has
expressly..."
"Forbidden anyone to look at all these files. But
you have anyway. You will take me. Now."
Mercutio(Kanephren): �You�re my bitch now.�
"If he's in there, we'll both die."
"He will not be."
"Then what?"
"I'm sure I'll think of more favors you can do me,
Doctor Akagi." He smiled amusedly and turned to go. "Lead
on."
-*-
"The chasm between the World of Dreams and the World
of Waking has been bridged by the great Weaver, whose power
we have stolen.�
Hikaru(Keel): �Unfortunatly, it�s cosing us a couple million to bring
said bridge in complaince with local interdimensional safety
regulations. Damn you Randolph Carter!!!!! Damn you to HELL!!!!!�
//"Why has DAGON not been activated?"// Scorpion
demanded. "We would have no need for unreliable human
children then."
"Because DAGON has yet to produce a workable
substitute," Keele replied. "A pilot who goes mad when
first synchronizing with EVA and eats ten technicians is
little use to us."
Maya(Neptune): �Hey, I happen to enjoy a nice fresh technician
every once in awhile.�
//"And why have more resources not been put into
it?"//
"What more resources? Our cash resources are
stretched thin as it is. And we knew all along that it was
possible that DAGON might never repeat our first success.
Especially since we've lost everyone truly responsible for
that."
Mercutio(Keel): �Ah yes. The mishap with the Fryolater at Denny�s.�
//"And what of her?"// Ankh asked.
"She is well."
Hikaru(Ankh): �Really? I�d heard she was walking a tightrope line
over the slippery slope between sanity and insanity- oh. Normal. Right.
Never mind then.�
-*-
In the inner depths of NERV headquarters, a single
figure walked in absolute darkness, with no light to guide
her steps.
Maya: �I see the headlights we installed are working. Excellent.�
Rei walked through gantries and stairways silently,
her glowing red eyes the only hint of her presence in the
dark. Every few minutes, her progress would be halted by a
formidable looking steel doorway. At these intervals, she
would stop to run her hand by fingerprint ID system or a
retinal scan. At the final doorway, she merely drew a sigil
upon the doorway with her finger.
Mercutio: What sigil?!?! WHAT SIGIL, DAMMIT!!!!!! MUST.....MAKE
.....OBSCURE.......MYTHOS.......CONNECTION.........�
She was alone here, one of a few with clearance to
be in this section of the base.
Her expression seemed troubled, as if she was
pondering a great dilema. Whatever it was, she gave no hint
of it, instead remaining silent. At last she came upon a
large glass wall, stretching from one side of the room to
another. Whatever laid beyond that wall was hidden in
further darkness, though the sloshing and flowing of liquid
could be heard.
Maya: LCL. It�s chock full of wholesome evillly goodness.
She slowly walked towards the glass, then laid a
hand upon it. A moment later, she laid her forehead to rest
against the wall as well.
The waters behind the glass stirred, churning slowly
to life. Far within those depths, a pair of red eyes glowed
in the dark and peered at Rei.
And another.
And another.
And another.
The previously dark waters came to life with
countless red eyes, shining brilliantly like stars in the
night sky, all peering curiously at their lone visitor.
From the obsidian depths of the other side of the
glass, a pale hand reached out to the glass, mirroring hers.
Rei closed her eyes and sighed.
Mercutio: You know......... ya gotta wonder. I mean, who MAINTAINS
all this stuff? The clones, and whatevers in Sector 13, and the LCL Plant
Main Line Number 3....... all those obviously need to be cared for, and one
doubts that Gendo and Ritsuko have that kind of free time..... who
do they get? Who can they TRUST?
Maya: We got the clones to maintain themselves, actually.
Hikaru: Really?
Maya: Oh, yeah. It was real easy to. All we had to do was bribe them
with a little fast food. Toss a Big Mac into that cloning tank sometime,
and boy, we�re talking feeding _frenzy_...... after that we just fished out
one or two of the more docile ones and set them moping and sweeping
or whatnot.
Mercutio: This worked?
Maya: Well, there were mishaps. But we didn�t really need the three
tons of angel carcass anyway........
-*-
Ankh spoke again now. //"And what was Ikari doing
in Antarctica? There is nothing more to be found there."//
A new voice spoke, young and female with a bit of a lisp.
Her sigil looked somewhat like a bio-hazard sign, but
organically curved instead of straight lines and arcs. //"He
went at my suggestion. And he has brought us something
valuable."//
//"Namely?"//
"Not all of the Old Ones died when their
civilization crumbled. If that Miskatonic expedition could
find ones who had survived, I was sure we could. And we
have. With his help, voluntary or not, we can finally
unlock the last secrets we need to ensure the success of the
Prophecy. His will be done."
Mercutio(Keel): �Azathoth has will? Since when?�
Hikaru(Scorpion): �Azathoth? I thought we served Great Cthulhu.
Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fh�taghn, and so forth.�
Maya(Ankh): �Cthulhu? I�ve been serving Great Ones all this time,
I was supposed to serve CTHULHU?�
Mercutio(Keel): �Really? I could�ve _sworn_ it was Azathoth......
somebody get me a copy of the bylaws!!!!!�
-*-
Shinji blinked as he walked in the door. He'd gone
shopping for various supplies; Asuka had left a shopping
list they'd found when they got home. Misato had stayed
behind to work on some reports, in theory. In practice, he
was sure she was being lazy. The air was full of wonderful
smells which made his stomach rumble. Asuka must be cooking
something good, he thought.
Maya: Of course you know, she�s finally snapped and is barbecuing
Pen-Pen.
Much to his shock, it was Misato, who was wearing an
apron over her t-shirt and shorts, in the throes of
sprinkling spices into a pot. She paused and looked down at
the cookbook, shook her head, and added more of some herb
Shinji couldn't recognize, but which smelled nice. "Hi,
Shinji," she said. "I hope you like goulash."
"What's goulash?"
Mercutio: I�m pretty sure the jury�s still out on that.
"I'm not sure, but it smells good. I just felt the
urge to cook. Since this only happens about once in a blue
moon, I never know what anything I'm making is until I'm
done."
Hikaru(Shinji): �It�s never, like...... come alive or anything, has
it?�
Maya(Misato): �WHO TOLD YO---- I mean, no. Ahehehehehe.�
"..."
She began to stir the pot. "This is turned on,
right...yes."
Shinji began putting away the groceries. "Can I ask
you a question?"
"Sure." She turned back to the book. "Do you have
any idea what oregano is?"
Mercutio(Shinji): �I�ll ask the questions here, okay?�
"It's a state in the United States, I think."
"..."
"Must be an herb too, I guess," Shinji said,
shrugging. "Anyway, what I wanted to ask was...why are you
in NERV? You just don't seem like the soldier type."
Maya: Actually, Misato can disembowel a man in three point five
seconds. Three point two, if she�s mad.
"I was in Antarctica when Second Impact happened,"
she said, digging through the spice rack, which thanks to
Asuka, was no longer only home to salt and pepper. "Ahh!
Oregano!" She sprinkled some into the pot.
"And you got out alive?" I never realized she was
so tough, Shinji thought.
"I've forgotten a lot of it, but I'll never forget
the moment of Second Impact."
"You were really lucky."
Maya(Misato): �I guess. I mean, it could�ve been worse. There
could have been some sort of weird light giant with ten-mile high
wings.�
"I sometimes wish I'd died with Father. I was so
excited he finally took me along on one of his
archaeological trips. Except then I wasn't allowed to go
near the site. So I was bored as hell...the last time I saw
Father before the last day of his life, we had a big
screaming match, and I told him I wished he was dead." She
winced. "Be careful what you wish for, Shinji."
Shinji felt he ought to do something, but wasn't
sure what. "He must be proud of you now."
Hikaru: All ten million pieces of him.
"I hope so," she said quietly. "I've done my best
to avenge him. I just wish I could get in an EVA and fight
with you, instead of sending you all off in my place. But I
can't. So I have to be the one who stays home and worries,
while you three, who ought to be able to be normal children,
risk your lives."
"We'd have died by now without your advice," Shinji
said. "Especially me."
"Don't be down on yourself, Shinji. I wasted my
college years doing that."
Mercutio: I always thought she wasted her college years with
meaningless sex.
She stared at the goulash. "I
wonder how I'm supposed to know it's done."
"Taste it?"
"Thanks for volunteering."
It was actually quite good, though Shinji feared
disaster. However, it was also quite hot. "AAAA!!!!!!"
"That bad?"
"WATER!!!!!"
Hikaru: Actually, milk would be a better thing.
Soon, he soothed his mouth. "I just...sometimes I
wonder if I just got this because my father is in charge."
"You really think your father would do that?"
"Well, no, but..."
"With all his flaws, your father would never commit
nepotism. He's a bastard, but he does make a good commander
for NERV."
"I guess so."
"Do you think he's done something badly? Besides
lacking any ability to be nice?"
Hikaru(Shinji): �Well, besides all those horrible suspicions we
both got in Part 9 and now seem to have conveniently forgotten
about? No, not really.�
She stared at the goulash. "Where's Asuka?"
Mercutio(Shinji): �Out at Kensuke�s house. Either that or at
some sort of drug deal. I wasn�t paying real close attention.�
-*-
"So, what are your conclusions?" Gendo asked Abdul.
The two of them and Fuyuutsuki were in one of the small
conference rooms.
"You won't be needing the gun in your coat," Abdul
said calmly. "Not that you'd use it if you have any sense
at all. I have satisfied myself that there won't be a
repeat of the disaster. In the end, it all worked out as it
needed to."
"Was your conversation with our new acquisition
satisfactory?" Fuyuutsuki asked.
Hikaru(Kanephren): �You know, I think I�m going to drive you
insane agaun, just for kicks.�
Mercutio(Fuyutsuki): �Huh? What are youaaaaaaRRRGRGRG
GRGRGRGRGRGGGOHGODGETTHEMOFFGETTHEMOFF.....�
Hikaru(Gendo): �Hey!! Stop that!�
"Quite fascinating, though not easy to communicate
with. Perhaps later...But that is a story for another day.
You'll be getting a copy of my report when I complete it."
He rose. "I have much to do, and miles to go before I
sleep.�
Mercutio: If he�s not back at the bar by nine, Jimmy will fire
his punk ass.
�You will be keeping your jobs for now. And soon,
all things will come to their appointed end."
He swept out of the room, and as soon as the door
closed, Fuyuutsuki said, "He didn't even try to drive us
mad. He must be slipping in his old age."
Maya: He�s four billion years young!!!!
"We are doing what he wants. Of course he didn't do
anything to us. If he knew our true objectives, there would
be very little left of us."
Mercutio: Except, of course, for Gendo�s glasses and gloves.
Just for the irony value.
"I'm surprised he didn't tatoo his name on his
forehead," Fuyuutsuki said.
"No need. Only a tiny handful of people could
actually understand the hints he gave. Now, why he is
playing errand boy to SEELE...that intrigues me. It's a
remarkably menial task. Now, if he had used it as an excuse
to sabotage something critical..." Gendo frowned. "We're
going to have to check everything."
Hikaru(Fyutsuki): <sighs> �I suppose this means mandatory
CAT scans for everybody again?�
Mercutio(Gendo): �Oh, you know you love it.�
Fuyuutsuki nodded. "This makes a good excuse for a
top to bottom cleaning and inspection anyway."
Gendo nodded. "I will inspect Sectors 13 and 52
myself. Start laying out the orders for the inspection of
the other sectors."
"What about those hacked files?"
"I shall have to have a little talk with Dr. Akagi
in addition to the official reprimand I gave her.�
Hikaru(Fuyutsuki): �A �little talk�. Uh-huh. Sure. Will you be on the
top or the bottom this time?�
Mercutio(Gendo): �Remind me again why you�re still alive?�
-*-
"The Stars move in their courses, and the heavens
sing the music of the spheres. The time has come for the
hidden to be made clear, for the mountains to fall and the
valleys to rise. Let the book of truth be opened, and the
thirteen verses sung." And with those words, the chant
began.
Thirteen voices, each hidden behind a mask from the
others, opened themselves and their secrets to the one they
served. From every continent they came, from every race of
man and other races besides. Male and female they were
numbered, Regnants they had become. For time beyond
Mercuto: Regnant is an adjective. Not a noun.
measure, SEELE had existed to bring about what would come to
pass. It had worn a thousand masks in ten thousand lands,
but in all that time, it had one purpose, to bring about the
Prophecy.
Their time had come. The Stars were Right.
-*-
- end part 10 -
-*-
Mercutio: Well, that was good. Even though it took us
forever to get done.
Hikaru: Of course, it�s not over yet.
Mercutio: Oh yeah, of course. <ahem> Ladies and Gentlemen,
in response the numerous bits of positive feedback we�ve
received in regards to our practice of explaining the more
obscure bits of prophecy and whatnot in CoaEG, we�re proud
to add a new segment to LST1/2K. Hikaru, you ready?
Hikaru: As I�ll ever be.
Mercutio: In that case, we now present......
Hikaru Gosunkugi�s Cthulhu Corner.
or
Mythos for Dummies.
Hikaru: Thank you, Mercutio. <ahem> Now, if I might direct your
attention to a passage from earlier, during which Asuka investigates
the insane writings of Aida Kensuke......
What came next was labelled, 'Working Theory'.
['Nor is it to be thought that man is either the
oldest or the last of earth's masters, or that the common
bulk of life and substance walks alone.'
Angels predate humanity. They came to Earth and
seeded it with life. There was some sort of war among them,
and many of them were cast into eons of slumber.
Hikaru: This refers to August Derleth�s rather controversial
additions to the Lovecraft Mythos. In a nutshell, there was a war
between the Elder Gods (Nodens, Bast, Hypnos, and Co.) and the
Great Old Ones/Outer Gods (Cthulhu, Hastur, Nyarlathotep,
Tsathoggua, etc). The Elder Gods (please take note of that name)
won, in a manner of speaking, and sealed many of the GOO away,
sometimes using the Elder Sign as a seal. For a more detailed
explanation, including the pseudo-science involved, I would
reccommend reading �The Burrowers Beneath,� by Brian Lumley.
'That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even
death may die'. They are now waking up.
Hikaru: This is the single most famous line that Lovecraft ever wrote. You
won�t find it in Bartletts (for some silly reason) but any reputable scholar
of twentieth-century literature should know it.
Theory: NERV found a sleeper and studied him, but
he woke up and caused Second Impact, which knocked him back
out. NERV is using technology he had lying around, so to
speak.
Hikaru: Yes and no. There are only two possibilities for said �sleeper;�
Ubbo-Sathla, the Unbegotten Source, or the Unknown God. And since
Rod won�t let John use stuff from �Call of Cthulhu� (not even Delta Green,
which is BRUTALLY cool) it must be Ubbo-Sathla.
However, Ubbo-Sathla was fairly mindless, and had no tech to speak of.
However, the Elder Things, a race of fairly non-hostile star-spanning beings,
had a VERY advanced civilization in Antarctica, with lots of cool stuff
NERV would dearly love to get it�s hands on. In fact, the references made
by SEELE and Gendo would seem to indicate that they actually
recovered LIVING Elder Things from what�s left of the polar ice.
For more information, we reccomend �At the Mountains of Madness� by
Lovecraft. It�s one of two full-length Mythos novels he wrote. In fact,
you can probably find all the Lovecraft info you need to understand CoaEG
simply by reading that and the other novel, �The Dream-Quest of Unkown
Kadath.�
Theory: The Angels plan to resume their war. This
is why they don't cooperate...they don't like each other,
either.
Hikaru: True.
The thing singing in my dreams is one of
them...waking them up? Why don't they all wake up at once?
Connection to the dog-like tribes of Polaris?
Hikaru: Red herring. Don�t wory too much about this, it�s just a fun
reference.
Each Angel has a cult, like the one destroyed at
Innsmouth. Founded by the Angels? Spontaneous human
tendency to worship power? Them reaching out as they sleep
and influencing humans? Latter seems likely.
Hikaru: This does happen, but generally only Cthulhu can pull it
off.
Something you should know about Cthulhu; physically, he�s
quite the weakling, at least in GOO terms. A single Evangelion,
by itself, would have absolutly no trouble ripping him limb from limb.
However, he has incredibly powerful psychic powers. If it weren�t
for the two miles of water acting as a buffer, he could drive probably
the entire population of the planet stark raving nuts in a matter
of days.
On that note: Vote Cthulhu in 2000!!!!! Why pick the lesser of
two evils?
This message paid for by the Elder Party.
[Do they like their cults, or would they freely destroy them?]
"Destroy them," Asuka muttered, remembering the
vision she had had when fighting Rahab...Ghatanathoa.
Hikaru: In this case, Asuka is right and wrong. Certain of the GOO
would most definitly simply waste their cults without caring. However,
us humans are useful to Cthulhu, and his cohorts Dagon and Hydra,
and they�d keep us around as both an ego boost and for breeding stock.
Also, the snake-god Yig is quite benevolent. A couple intricate
ceremonies at harvest time and a few small sacrifices, and he�ll
bestow all kinds of blessings.
She began to skim the notes, planning to read them
more thoroughly later. They gradually became more and more
incoherent, a maze of strange runes, ramblings, and nonsense
words. [Ia Ia Salbogoroth pwnee ilyariato shngr la!]
Whatever that meant.
Hikaru: Something about Salbogoroth hungering. Probably nothing.
One final item caught her eye in the first skimming,
however.
[Four Lords or Five? Asuka must be Fire. Shinji
is...Earth? Plant? Air? Rei could be Water or Air. Who
is the Fourth Child? Someone I know? Probably male, for
balance...but then, their goal is not that of balance.
Hikaru: I have a theory regarding this...... but it�s a bit wild, so I�d
be more comfortable not stating it. I will, say however, that you
should all think quite hard about the title. �Children of an ELDER
GOD.� It�s not just a clever name, people..
Story repeats itself? Xoth's defenders betrayed
them for power. As did those of Yhtill. Can fire be fought
with fire? Let he who hunts monsters beware. I can feel
the abyss gazing into me. Will they save or damn us all?]
Hikaru: Nietchze quotes. Xoth is where Cthulhu lived for awhile.
I think Joh may have made up Yhtill, but that�s an age-old
tradition with Lovecraftian stories.
Asuka wished she knew the answer to that herself.
Hikaru: Yes, well, don�t we all?
Maya: <claps politely> Very impressive.
Hikaru: Thank you. We done now?
Mercutio: Just about. Until next time, everybody!!!!
<End LST1/2 K>
Reviewers Notes:
IT�S DONE!!!!! IT�S DONE!!!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!!!
<ahem> Well, it is. I apologize for the incredibly long four-month delay.
I�ve been quite busy, and the creative juices just haven�t been flowing.
We are moving along again, though. I thank everybody for waiting. I had
orignally planned to commemorate this, the rough halfway point of CoaEG,
with a multimedia musical presentation in recap form, but that just never
came off. I hope you liked it anyway.
Oh, yes, I have a disclaimer to add: the views and theroies and
interpretations expressed above in �Hikaus Cthulhu Corner� are not to
be taken as canon, or as those of the authors. They are, instead, the
result of exhaustive research and analysis on my part. I may be dead
wrong.
But I doubt it. ^_^
Previous MST�s of CoaEG can be found at..... at...... oh, darn......
crap. I forget the web address. They are, however, being hosted by
Ammadeau, who can be reached by e-mail at roy_fokker@unspacy.org.
He generously offered to host them for me, for which I thank him
profusely.
Incidentally, this particular MSTing is dedicated to him and his
web page.
Which you will be able to link to from the CoaEG main page anyday
now. At least, that�s what Rod told me. Three months ago.
Next MST to be released by me:
Chris Davies �Scenario no Kawari� Chapter Two. Watch for it!!!!
I remain, disjointed as ever,
-Mercutio
�A plague �a both your houses!!!�