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MSS Productions
A division of SIPP
presents
Self Insert Hunter
"Beyond the River Styx"
[part two of two]
by
wx721
**NOTE** Don't take this fic seriously. If you do, you'll suffer brain
damage. I meant to write a SI-parody, but unfortunately it ballooned into
this. Blame Avatar who gave me the idea years ago for this fic. ^_^;
Disclaimer: This work is not meant to be published or distributed for
monetary units. Author permission required for posting and/or
transmission.
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The club was a chaotic mix of young men and women moving to the
rhythms of a primal dance beat. Myungsu winced as another strobe light
flashed across his vision. Forcing himself through the tight throng of
bodies, the hunter waded to the back area and sat by an empty table. The
music wasn't as deafening there.
Myung read his Scanner, pocketed it and glanced to the far right.
There he was, Brinker Knowles, being pampered by a pair of prostitutes
wearing Playboy bunny suits, with floppy pink rabbit ears to top it off.
They were all laughing and talking while consuming food and liquor.
"...'nd I puanchd da suacker rit betwin da nos, huuck, huuck!"
"Ohh, you're so brave, Brinkie!"
"Mmmmm, your tight muscles can beat anyone up!" >glomp<
The hunter's mouth wryly twisted. Talk about bad taste.
*C, tell Control to get ready for a Removal.*
*Contacting... Control is standing by.*
*What's the status on the 4.198's Integrity?*
*Processing... it has degraded by 0.062% since our arrival.*
"Umm."
Myungsu poked the table top as he mentally reviewed the plan. He
had to wait until Joules created a diversion to drive out the crowd. In
the confusion, Myung had to restrain the janitor as Control pulled him out
of 4.198's reality stream. It wasn't too difficult, and he needed more
experience, as the older hunter had said.
"Take your order, mister?"
The hunter looked up to the waitress and nearly died of shock. A
sultry anthropomorphic turtle-shell cat with a voluptuous fur-covered body
cocked an eyebrow as Myung remained speechless.
The anthro swished her multi-colored tail. "Well, wadda ya want?"
her voice undulating in irritation.
Myung gaped like a fish out of water. "I-- water. Yeah, cold
water."
The turtle-shell sniffed. "Coming right up." She walked away,
swaying her hips and tail in a way that burned up the hunter's face.
*Myung, are you well? I'm detecting elevated leve--*
*I'm fine, C. J-Just, forget it.*
"Different reality, different reality," he kept repeating to
himself. Things are different. The locals could have developed
technologies to modify themselves. Reasonable explanations. Nanites,
robotics, magic, selective breeding, plastic surgery, genetic
engineering-- yes, that must be it.
"Here ya go," said the feline as she placed a glass on his table.
"Enjoy." With a smirk and a twitch of her sinuous tail, the turtle-shell
disappeared into the crowd.
Sigh.
Myung vigorously shook his head. Faster he finished this Knowles
business, the better.
Curious if others were 'modified' as well, he scrutinized the
denizens of the club. Most looked normal in his point of view; however,
some did have elongated ears, while others had pale skin with canines
sticking out of their mouths.
Rubbing his eyes, the hunter focused back on Brinker Knowles.
Concentrate on business. The janitor was still having a blast, oblivious
to the approaching endgame. Myungsu waited patiently, keeping an eye on
Knowles as he became more loose by alcohol.
"Luk, it's Knit Sabrs' fngers 'f joustis!" >grab<
"Yeeoooaw! Stop that, Brinkie!" >THACK<
"Ooch. Yur so soaft, huuck, huuck!" >pinch<
"Eeek! You meanie!" >CRACK<
What's taking Joules so long, Myung thought, as his patience began
to wear thin. He couldn't take more of the nonsense.
Soon afterwards, the fire alarms sounded as an answer to his
concern. Water poured out of the ceiling sprinklers and drenched the
crowd, evoking curses and screams of surprise.
*C, get ready.*
*Understood.*
The sound system screeched as the club DJ gushed out instructions
for everyone to calmly head toward the exits. To the contrary, a mad
stampede of bodies pressed toward the back and rear doors. Myungsu weaved
through the panicked clubbers, steadily approaching the bewildered
janitor.
"Wat's da mater?" Knowles looked around in confusion as his hired
harem gave him the slip.
"Bai, Brinkie! It's been fun!"
"See ya space cowboy." With a wave, the wet bunnies meshed inside
the escaping crowd.
Myung couldn't help but smirk. So much for overdosing on wish
fulfillment. With a snap of his fingers, the hunter raised a neutrino
binding field around the unsuspecting man. He snapped again to initiate
the Removal.
*NOW C*
Knowles froze half rising from his seat, unable to move, his eyes
rapidly blinking in astonishment. Folds of reality warped for an instant,
then the janitor was gone.
*C, confirm with Control if they got him.*
*Processing... Control has Brinker Knowles in holding area 234A.*
Heartened by the completion, Myungsu quickly glanced around for
Joules, ignoring the astonished shouts of the clubbers. He saw the older
hunter wildly waving an arm as he fought his way through the crowd. The
neophyte gave a thumbs up as Joules got beside him.
"Control has him."
Joules slapped him in the back. "Great, let's get outta here!"
Within a micro-second, the two hunters were teleported out.
= = = =
The faceless robotic sentry straightened in attention. "All rise
for the honorable Judging Angels, Atropos, Lachesis and Clotho."
Wearing militaristic red-black uniforms, three slim women entered
the Court Room and sat by their desks on the raised platform. All had
raven hair of different lengths. The Three Sisters weren't beautiful, yet
their expressionless faces had an ageless quality that made them pleasing
to behold.
Standing on jittery legs, Myung nervously looked to Joules, who
remained glumly silent. The two hunters were immediately transferred to
the Court Room after their arrival even without a debriefing. That didn't
improve Myung's mood, and Joules not elaborating only increased his fears.
"You may sit down," said the Fate with short cut hair. The
hunters sat back on their misty chairs. "Case file number 9031 is now
open."
A Sister with long sleek hair leafed through some papers from a
folder on her desk and shook her head. "Mr. Joules Marcand, you have
violated the terms of your parole, again."
Myung inwardly groaned. He knew eating at the restaurant would
land them in trouble. And Joules was on 'parole?' What was this?
The older hunter shifted uncomfortably. "I apologize, Judge
Clotho. It was negligent of me."
Clotho spoke out a list of his offenses at a clipped pace.
"Damaging property, possibly affecting the reality stream. Various
interactions with locals, which added to the workload of the Cleanup
Agents. And lastly, appropriating matter inside the target reality, a
forbidden act under any circumstance."
"Judge Clotho, I--"
"Silence, you were given many warnings. Since you have chosen to
ignore them, you are now sentenced to Lower Realms Retrieval, clause five,
section three of the Purgatory code."
Joules shot out of his chair. "No! Anything but that! Please!"
he begged. The sentry stomped next to his side, ready to restrain him.
"Sit down, Mr. Marcand," commanded the remaining Sister. She
coolly gazed at him with unblinking eyes. "Fifty cycles is the duration
of your sentence." The clank of three metal gavels echoed in the Court
Room.
Joules hung his head dejectedly and glanced at Myungsu. "Better
luck to you, man." In a bright flash, he was gone.
So much for Joules Marcand. Stuck dealing with the Bad Guys -- no
one deserved that, even if he was a trouble maker. The neophyte hunter
blinked at the empty chair as an unsettling thought popped up in his mind.
The Judges seemed to have an uncanny ability to share their thoughts.
Would they sentence him to Bad Town?
"Next operative, Myungsu Suh."
Myung snapped out of his dark reverie.
"Mr. Suh," called the short haired Judge, "breaking the
Regulations on your first assignment bodes ill on your record."
"Think of it as 'strike one' as in your home reality," added
Clotho.
A sigh escaped from Myung. Be truthful. "Yes, ma'am. I'm at
fault. Joules convinced me it was 'okay' to eat. I was tempted, and I
knew it was wrong, but ate it anyway. It will not happen again."
The third Judge lifted an eyebrow, as did her other sisters.
"The assigned dimension did not suffer serious degradation from your
actions. We are concerned on you, however. Always remember you are on
these missions to cleanse your misdeeds and earn entry into Good Town.
Do not be mislead like Mr. Joules Marcand. Such flippant behavior will
hamper the efforts in maintaining Equilibrium across the entire reality
streams, as well as damming your soul to the Depths Below."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Therefore, we agree leniency is best for a new
trans-dimensional operative with a first time offense."
"True, Lachesis, but I still prefer a suitable punishment,"
interjected the short haired Angel as she stared at the hunter. "A
reminder to him of the consequences."
"Very well, Atropos," she replied. All three Judges turned to
face Myungsu. Clotho handed down the sentence. "You are here by placed
on probation with a case quota of three million which upon completion you
will be reevaluated on your status. Any misbehavior observed by Control
will result in Judgement pertaining to section three of Purgatory code."
THREE MILLION?
"Court adjourned."
JUST FOR EATING?
The gavels slammed down.
Oh gawd.
= = = =
Next: "The Rabbit That Could"
See Peep commander Jinnai battle his arch-nemesis, the Manti captain
Mizuhara.
See the legendary Terror of Dis, the RMN admiral Mokona.
See Myung haggling the Price with the Fiend Tendo Nabiki.
And... see Urd in a nurse uniform.
'Nuff said.