Subject:
[FFML] [FanFic][Ranma] Spreading Wings Scenes 43&44
Date:
Thu, 25 Nov 1999 08:00:52 -0600
From:
Don Granberry <lunohoco@lunohoco.com>
Description: Nabiki continues to flirt with Westerlake
as another Yakuza meets a grisly end.
Comments:
>from his left arm and another from his right foot. Serves you right,
you
big cheater! She thought at him.
I'd suggest deleting "She thought at him"
[Agreed. It's fixed.]
What's a donka?
[A "donka," as I explained in an earlier scene, is what the Japanese
call their local trains. These trains run quite steadily around the
clock.]
The slapstick torturous ends of Yakuza are getting old.
We get the idea. Move on.
I'm sorry, the community of Nerima will continue to attrit the foul
yakuza for few more scenes(My having already written them), besides, I
am not at all sure the idea has been gotten across just yet. Why?
Because I have yet to drive the point home. But fear not! I will do so
very soon.
Thank you very kindly for the tips and suggestions,
Don Granberry.