Wee! And here I was just thinking that I'd like to read an MI fic:
---
Kentaro Ichinose walked up to the front of Ikkoku-kan,
enjoying the late afternoon sun. Fish for dinner, he
realized with a pang of delight.
I usually don't associate 'pang's with good feelings. Something more
neutral. 'surge' or something.
Likely, there would be
just enough time to go down to the public baths before
dinner time.
Already have 'time' earlier in the sentence. I'd just drop the second one.
He reached for the door knob, then paused as
it was opened from the inside.
"Oh, Kanrinin-san." He noted her black dress and the paper-
wrapped bundle she carried. "Is it that time, already?" he
asked.
Hmm. Why do I have a feeling this is something more along the lines of
Godai not being able to keep his promise to Kyoko?
"Kentaro-san, welcome back," Kyoko replied, bowing
slightly. "Yes, I'll be home later. If there should be any
problems--"
"I'm sure we can handle it, Kanrinin-san. Please don't
worry." She smiled in reply and bowed her thanks. He waved
as she turned down the hilly slope towards the station.
Summer already, he thought,
Yep. Wrong time of year for Soichiro. Gotta be Godai (unless you really
wanted to throw people off and make it her fifth husband or something. ^_^)
looking up at the clear sky. A
gentle breeze stirred several leaves that would undoubtedly
be swept away come the morning.
If not. Kyoko would do it. I think she spent half the manga and anime
sweeping that front walk.
Has it really been that
long? Sighing, he turned to open the front door to his home
for the past forty years.
Oh well. At least they had a lot of time together, and here I thought he
would have passed on much earlier. Perhaps she'll have forgiven him then?
---
The headstone looked more worn every year, Kyoko thought
as she knelt. She laid the sushi rolls before the grave.
Her hand reached out involuntarily to trace the characters
that marked the headstone:
Yusaku Godai
Beloved husband and father.
1961-2021
"In the end, you couldn't even keep that promise to me."
"Baka."
She smiled fondly, before bowing her head in prayer.
Ah. Excellent. One word to convey her feelings. Nice to know there isn't
any real resentment.
---
(1) Time's promise is death, of course.
And taxes. Don't forget the taxes.
(2) The promise of which Kyoko speaks was for Godai to
outlive her.
One of the most poignant moments of MI for me. And given the nature of the
story, the perfect thing to write this short piece about.
Excellent work. Short, but as someone else said, sometimes something brief
is the best way to convey a thought.
D.B. Sommer