And, again, this seems insufficient provocation to
make Akane this angry.
Well, I was thinking something along the lines of, it being her birthday
and she worked *so* hard and to have him insult her like that, and the
insult being much harsher than those he usually came up with....
##Ummmm, there is some argument over this, �else there
would be
no argument over this. ^)^
And Ukyou of ALL people would, IMO, would NEVER admit
or
acknowledge ANY other engagement had precedence over
hers.
True.
Overall: Very nice. Some ragged spots. Especially
using
Akane's cooking as a motivation for a fight. And the
idea
that Ukyou is a �pal' is also pretty much a fanfic
convention.
That said, this is a very nice story. IMO it could be
much better
after fixing some of these plot points. Dialogue and
scene setting
range from very good to superb.
Thanks for the very nice comments! And now, for some confessions.....
to tell the truth, this was written in like, less than 2 hours.
Inspiration struck, and there it was! So if you're going to ask why I
did this and that, I really can't tell you! ^_^ Much of this fic is
cliche, I know, but that's really how I want to think of Ukyou. Hey,
would you rather I think of her as the psycho killer? ^_^
As I said, I didn't exactly think about
everything that much, it just popped into my mind naturally and I wrote
it the way it was. Totally unlike my mini-series "Waiting For You",
which I have been working on since January 1999, and only released to
the FFML this month. So many scenes are a bit awkward and I admit Ukyou
is being a little OOC, but I do like it the way it is and I don't think
I'll be changing it, except for the minor revisions maybe. For one
thing I have a job which leaves me little time to myself, and I have
another story which I put as my top-level priority, which is WFY.
This story was written from Ukyou's POV, so it is a bit sad, and the way
Akane was portrayed is a little biased, since it was told from Ukyou's
view, not mine.
Thanks for replying!
Stiffanie Flores