Phil wrote:
Yo, DB. This is kinda late, but I finally got around to it.
Hey. Better late than never. I'm not complaining.
One comment beforehand, as David Johnston would say: The Spellchecker
is not
your friend. :)
Usually it is. You just have to pay attention to what you're 'correcting'
^_^
It was the third dead Galaxy Police vessel they had come across in the
last
ten hours. The first one they had stumbled upon was drifting above the
recreation planet Fantasia IX, a planet she and Ryouko had visited to look
for Tenchi. Of course they were obligated to assist the helpless
spaceship,
You know, after this event, I have this burning desire to find out more
about the GP's >> budget - replacing GP HQ and now all these ships'
computers
can't be cheap, so who >> does pay for all of it?
Their entire budget is covered by the company called Deus Ex Machina. ^_^
Speaking of Fantasia IX, is Mickey Mouse a sorcerer's apprentice
onplanet?
:)
It was tempting to make a passing reference to the inhabitants all having
mouse ears. I resisted, though.
"Considerable," was the first word that came to his mind. "Complete," was
the next. There was no power. A ten foot diameter hole in the bridge. All
of the equipment ruined. The smell of burned circuitry. The rear portions
of his ship missing, if the diagnostic he had run before the crash was
accurate. Those were the mechanical resources left.
Alert! Alert! Sentence fragments at 10 o'clock and closing! :)
Originally it was supposed to be a style thing. Now it just looks stupid to
me. Will change.
ship, if the diagnostic he had run before the crash was accurate. Those
were
the mechanical resources left.
The last sentence to the paragraph doesn't seem to fit, even in the
original.
Have changed the last sentence to: And that was only considering the
mechanical resources that remained.
That should be better.
Angstrom tossed the case aside and repeated the process on a second panel.
This time he was rewarded with an intact unit. A quick check showed that
it
was still in working order. "As it stands, this thing can send a signal up
to three systems away. But I think I can boost the signal by jury rigging
it to the remains of the primary unit so that we can get a hyperspace
signal out."
Hehehe, I am forcibly reminded of the 5th? season episode of DS9 where
Quark
and >> Odo crashland on some planet and have to cart their comm unit up
the
Rockies. :)
Hmm. Don't recall that one, but I only got to see that interrmitantly over
the years. Although after the introduction of the Dominion, and a decent
overall plot for the entire series, I made an effort to watch it. Sounds
like it was a potentially fun episode, though.
This is, of course, the reason why investing in some Light Hawk Wings
is
always a
wise idea. :)
Heh.
"NOOO!" Stargrave fell to his knees and wailed to the skies above. "It's
gone! It's gone! All of my dreams! Why?! Why?!"
Because you're the evil mastermind, and by definition, evil masterminds
can't win? :)
Stargrave: But I have a really cool name. Doesn't that entitle me to maybe
winning.
"- Approximately forty kilometers to the southeast," Malgaunt said calmly
no need for the '-' here.
He's interrupting Stargrave. I thought it was common to add that if you
were finishing someone's sentence for them.
liked this bit, by the way: witty commentary btw characters is always
fun.
:)
Thanks. I'm better with dialogue than I am with scene descriptions by far.
informed him. "The Shihana is intact. All we have to do is recover it."
No problem, really...
Only if Mihoshi wasn't around.
"She's dead. Her ship was completely gutted and she was leaking radiation.
Uh, perhaps 'it was leaking', otherwise, it sounds as though Mihoshi is
leaking
radiation - which might very well be the case :)
Originally it was intentional to show that Ariana is occasonally lazy in
her speech patterns sometimes. However, with that in mind I'm just cutting
it down to 'gutted and leaking radiation' which sounds better to me.
Sasami, Aeka, Ryouko,
Mihoshi, Washuu, even Ryo-Ohki. And carrots. There were lots of carrots.
He
was starting to hate carrots. Working in the fields was hard on his back,
and he had never been wild about the vegetables in the first place.
Anymore
now it had seemed that was all he did was hoe and till, and till hoe and-
Hmm, Sasami, Aeka, Ryouko, Mihoshi, Washuu, and... carrots :) - this
brings
up
certain-- waaah, *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* eeew, H-goo all over my
computer.
Heh. I hadn't realized it until now. I guess that can be interpeted as
sexual innuendo, eh? ^_^
Oh >> well, back to C&C.
What were their names again? Dr. Forest and Francis? Frunk? Frenk?
Frank N. Furter? :)
Going for the old MST3K thing, actually.
Worrying about the 'B' he was getting in Home Economics?
Uh, Tenchi is taking Home Economics? Well, appropriate enough, but
still...
Was meant to be slightly humorous. Can't see Tenchi in an apron and cooking
meals like Sasami, myself.
That time he had looked through his father's collection of films and
stumbled upon the 'special' one that had starred his mother, father,
copious amounts of whip cream, and leather? That had been a seriously
traumatizing incident. Parents weren't supposed to do THAT sort of thing,
or at least their children weren't supposed to see it.
His mind clicked suddenly, this was why he'd always been leary about
getting
too
close to Aeka... well, this and the incest part of it. :)
Leather and whips run in that family ^_^. Given Azusa's reaction from some
of the stares he received from his wives in the last episode, I think they
have a tendency to keep him on a tight leash.
Nope didn't remember it no sir completely lost from the memory forever and
wasn't ever going to come back in any way shape or form so it would be
best
just to drop the subject completely and never consider it again since he
was never going to actually think about it and that was that about that.
And this way, maybe they'd all just wait around, and Sasami would grow
up.
:)
Only another couple hundred years or so. Hardly any time at all.
The assessment was finished quickly,
since virtually nothing worked on the entire ship.
I would assume that the virtually is an exaggeration, since Mihoshi
manages
to
connect the power to Yukinojo in the next para. :)
Oops! Have changed.
he seemed so lifelike that the idea of possibly losing the computer was
affecting him.
suggest: life-like
I think it's supposed to be one word.
The air was filled with the
sounds of her gasping and groaning, but
unfortunately, Tenchi wasn't involved in any way. :)
Yep. Maybe by the end of the fic, if both of them survive...<insert ominous
music>
Mihoshi considered that. "I don't think so. At least I've never dreamt of
electric sheep. They've always been
about Tenchi and whipped cream, and oops... :)
Hehehe.
cannibalism. I'm sure there's plenty of food on the ship and there's
probably food on this planet too."
actually, I don't believe that it's cannibalism if you munch on another
species... :)
True. And David Johnston was kind enough to correct the misconception of
what humans really taste like. ^_^
As they made their way down the darkened passageway, the yellow beam
dancing across the floor as the light bounced in Mihoshi's hand,
Mihoshi: FIREBALL!! Oops.
Not that kind of light, although when you think about, Mihoshi as a mage
would be a frighteneing concept.
Trying to anticipate what Mihoshi was going to do next was like
trying to figure out which way a leaf was going to fall when cast into a
tornado.
uh, up? :)
Sigh. I meant to say, 'was going to blow when cast in a tornado.' Does that
sound any better?
And like the other girls, sometimes the chaos was a refreshing
change, but other times it was like being punched in the gut by a
three-hundred pound gorilla.
Aeka: Three-hundred pounds? Are you inferring that I am _fat_?
Ryouko: Heh! Who're you calling a gorilla?
Washuu: Washuu-chan's patented gorilla transforming ray - switch on!
Mishoshi: Oh, what a cute image.
The sort of thing she could do, too. ^_^
And the idea of being nothing more than a walking
droolbucket appealed to him even less.
But he already was a... hmm, I shall refrain. :)
He's not that bad.
Doh, timeout. More to come later, hopefully.
Hope this helps.
A lot. Thanks for the intensive C+C again. Time to go on to the rest of it.
D.B. Sommer