Here I sit at home, using my mother's iMac, and a web e-mail
account to I can keep up with the Fanfic Mailing List while
I'm away from my apartment. Last night I had the revelation
that, unlike my backwards computer, this machine can
actually play the Ranma is Dead radioplay.
So I went to the website,
http://nabiki.newberry.edu/radioplay/ranma_is_dead.html and
downloaded the 6 meg "high quality -- take 11". I've now
decided to make a grab for history, and be the first person
to publically C&C a radioplay fanfiction!
Everything here is in my humble opinion only, and is not
intended to criticise the actors, merely the performances.
I hope it will help make future radioplay performances even
better than this one.
First, let's take a look at the cast:
The Narrator - Unknown:
This narrator opened and closed the play. I'm assuming
he's the director, Sean Hayden, but he's not credited.
He's got a clear voice, which serves well for narration.
The Other Narrator - Donny Cheng?:
This narrator introduced the three parts of the play.
I'm assuming he is Donny Cheng (mentioned on the
webpage, but not credited in the radioplay). His parts
are all accompanied by a whistling sound, which detracts
from the crystal-clear quality I would hope the
narration would have.
Kasumi - "Michiru Kaioh":
By far and away the best actor in the fic! I'd say she
has Kasumi down pat, with her humming, a slight lilt in
her voice, and general distracted air.
Nabiki - Krista Perry:
She fills the role pretty well, getting better later in
the radioplay. Frankly, how can you tell it's Nabiki
without the sarcasm? :) She doesn't get the good lines
until later in the radioplay.
I salute her for putting up with the horrible puns. ;)
Akane - June "KaraOhki" Geraci:
She plays the role very enthusiatically, which is good,
but comes off as... well... A shrew. Mostly it's
becuase of the lines she has to read in the fic, but I
do think she plays Akane as righteous, rather than just
angry. I just couldn't become sympathetic to this Akane
at all. Akane-haters will love her, though. ^_^
Also, there was an echo to her samples. She sounds like
she's in the bathroom.
Ranma - Berk Watkins:
I didn't get too much out of this portrayal. He sounded
bored, rather than aloof, or laid back. As with June's
portrayal, this might have been largely due to the lines
he had to read.
Soun - Steven "Nightman" Cornett:
I recognised him as Soun immediately. He put a great
deal of enthusiasm into the role. Perhaps too
enthusiatic in places. Specific comments are below.
Genma - Douglas MacDougall:
Despite what the webpage says, I do have two Ls in my
last name... :(
My samples are drowned out and tinny. And I've got to
say that, more than the other actors and their roles, I
don't remind me of Genma at all. I'd say I was the
weakest link in radioplay. It's fortunate that I didn't
have a lot of lines. ^_^
And do I really sound like that?
Shampoo - "Ranko":
One of the better actors, but she has her ups and downs.
She doesn't do anger too well, but she does confusion
and desperation quite nicely. ^_^ Specific comments are
below.
Ukyo - Aili Martel:
Not much to say - she has a small part.
Mousse - Alan Harnum:
He didn't have a lot of lines, so I never got to the
point where I could reognise him as as Mousse -- I
needed contextual clues. Also, I think he could have
put a little more enthusiasm for Mousse as he talked
about Shampoo.
Kodachi - Jennifer Wand:
Wow. She definately plays the "psychotic" interpretation
of Kodachi well. ^_^;;;;
Ryouga - Ed "Kickaha" Becerra:
Not much to say - he has a small part.
Kuno - Kyle "TydRipper" Emmerson:
Great voice! He plays Kuno perfectly, although, becuase
of the soft-spoken, noble air, I think the volume of his
samples need to be increased.
Cologne - "Countess Duckula":
A perfect old-lady voice. Easily recognised as Cologne.
Nodoka - "Miaka-Chan":
Nothing to say. She only has a couple lines.
Panda - TJ Hamilton:
The stunt double for my Genma. Good growf.
Hatanaka - Tom Geraci (No Relation to June. Oh, wait, he's
her brother.)
Another good voice. I thought Tom played the character
of Hatanaka perfectly. Of course, there isn't an
existing American or Japanese actor for me to compare
him against, either. :j
And now for the audioplay, itself. Instead of "quoting" the
radioplay, I will insert the timestamps. Obviously, it'll
help if you've got the MP3 handy to listen to. ^_^
However, even if you can't listen to MP3s or realaudio on
your computer, there is a link on the webpage to the
original text story by Gary Kleppe.
0:00 - 0:21
I think the idea of an standard introductory comment for all
Radioply Productions is a good idea, but the "Emergency
<Unintelligble, Possibly Made-Up Word> System" didn't do
anything for me. It was pretty cheesy.
0:27
There's a pause here, where he can't hear the whistling of
the "Fic" Narrator's samples. It's a little jarring.
0:48
Good little musical intro into the play.
1:00
Gary's going to hell for that pun
1:24
The volume of P-Chan's squeal needs to be brought down.
1:31, 1:47
Steven puts a LOT of emphasis here as Soun: "***DO*** such a
thing?" "***FEEDING*** you here. They could be toned down a
notch.
1:56
Another pun. [sigh]
2:03
Did I mention that Gary's going to hell for his puns?
2:15 - 2:35
For a supposed conversation between Genma and Hatanaka,
there's nary a peep out of the boxer.
2:38
Can a better sound effect can be found? It sounds like
someone strumming their fingers on the table, not people
running into the dining room.
3:03
Shampoo's crash is a little drawn out.
3:16
Good insight into Amazon law. ;) Shampoo's voice gets a
little harsh at the end of the quote.
3:28
She sounds so cute when she says she'll have to hurt Ranma.
:)
3:38
Other one of Gary's insights into Ukyo... :j
3:40
At first it was unclear that Ranma was being beat up. I
think the girls should be making sounds of exertion as they
hit him. At it is, we only hear Ranma's whimpering. And I
couldn't make out what he was saying.
3:48
A good line by Mousse, but I feel like Alan should have put
more enthusiasm into the "How dare you" part.
3:52
What was that shushing noise? Is Ranma supposed to be dead,
now? I'm not too clear. Maybe there should be a pause
before Kodachi shows up, to give it time to sink in?
3:57
Well, it's not the patented Kodachi laugh, but it's close
enough. :)
4:13 - 4:17
Whoa. That's a pregnant pause. I assume this has something
to do with the 98.5% complete statement on the webpage.
4:17
Another reason I'm unclear on whether on whether Ranma is
dead or not is why Akane decides to hit him, now. Normally,
she'd hit him in direct response to what he says or does.
Obviously that's not going to happen if he's dead and
unmoving.
If it's frustration from all the other girls, I'd like to
hear a build-up from Akane's. Like a growl as/after each
new girl adds her comments.
Also, if that sound effect earlier was Ranma's now-corpse
falling to the ground, how did she hit/kick him into the
sky?
4:36
Of course Kasumi knows what to do. Afterall, she's borrowed
all those books from Tofu, right? ;)
4:41 - 4:56
I was trying to figure out was was going on in this
interlude. Electric guitar is not something I'd expect from
a Ranma show. Why not something perky, like a chirpy
synthezsied funeral dirge, with one of those automatic conga
beats?
5:15
P-Chan's too loud, again.
5:25 - 5:39
I like the banter betwen Genma and Soun, here, but (a) the
tinny sound from Genma and (b) the pauses between Soun and
Genma only make it more apparent that the two are not in the
same room, talking to each other.
'A' for effort to Sean, though, for altering the speeds of
the speaker so they would be in synch. :)
5:39 - 5:43
Another long pause.
5:52 - 5:54
Another pause. Not as long, but noticable, coming off the
last one.
5:59
When Shampoo says "die" it's a little harsh.
6:00 - 6:08
Great banter between Nabiki and Shampoo. The actors really
get into the characters, here.
6:09
I would have put a longer pause, here. There is a scene
break between Nabiki talking to Shampoo and her conversation
with Kuno, right?
6:13 - 6:30
Yay! Kuno! The digital phone effect for Nabiki was
perfect. I don't know about the phrase "SPAM for brains,"
though.
6:36
Some of the actors sound exactly like their characters.
Kasumi, Soun, Shampoo, Kuno, and Cologne. The others are
more generic. Specificaly, I can't identify Mousse and
Ryouga, except by the context of what they're saying.
Here Nabiki asks for Ryouga's help, but Mousse responds.
You need a sound of exertion from Ryouga to repond to
Nabiki, and then a pause before going to Mousse.
7:02
Thank you, Shampoo. :)
7:06 - 7:08
Long pause before Kasumi's response.
7:19
Rather epic splash for the koi pond. ^_^
7:32
Shampoo's response overlaps Nodoka's question.
7:48-7:54
Another out-of-place guitar intermission.
7:54
The volume needs to be increased for the narrator.
8:14
Likewise, Cologne's volume needs to be decreased a touch.
8:23 - 8:27
I really like the desperate-sounding Shampoo. :) Although
the "Aiya" did come off sounding a little weird. I've never
heard it drawn out, before; usually it's said quickly.
8:32
I'd like to hear a little better scene cut, here. Perhaps
the sounds of Kuno's footsteps as he approaches Nabiki?
8:43
Why was there a typewritter key sound after Soun and Genma
spoke?
9:05
Akane's been to Brooklyn! ^o^ I didn't notice June's
accent until this quote.
9:07
In the radioplay context, Genma should probably start
"Ranma," or "Boy" before saying "How could you." Otherwise,
he could be responding to Akane.
9:19
What's with Soun's pause? "You ate... all of the food?"
9:42
:)
9:46
Soun's rate of speech picked up suddenly. Also, he's
showing a great deal of intelligence, asking *asking* before
engaging Hatanaka off to his daughter. :j
10:23
As the actor for Genma, I'm not sure I like that "shing"
noise. [adjusts collar]
10:54
I would add the standard anime "boingy" bwa-wa-wa noise
here. Normally it is used for groping, but I think it would
make it clearer that Ranma-Corpse has changed into
Ranma-Girl-Copse.
11:07 - 12:08
I'm glad you included the voice credits at the end of the
radioplay. It's very unsatisfiying watching, say, the
Pokemon movie, and seeing "Voice Talent by:" without listing
explicit roles.
Best of all, we get to hear the (presumably correct)
pronunciation of the last names of some of the authors of
the mailing list -- like Gary, June, and Ed. I was a little
disappointed that some of the authors gave pseudonyms,
though. Also, as I mentioned before, the narrators aren't
included.
If you're feeling brave, and don't think the page is going
to change, I'd suggest that you include the URL in the
credits. That way, people who get a copy of the fic can go
to the webpage and find more like it.
Nice closing background music.
12:08 - 12:33
I'm glad you didn't diddle around with copyrights. I think
everyone was properly credited, it was listed as parady, and
and you made it clear that fanfic Radioplay Production is
not-for-profit.
12:33
What the hell was that?
12:41
Nice closing bits. The outtake was particularly cute.
All in all, I though it was good, especialy for a first
effort. I think there are some poblems with the cuts
between scenes, which could be cleared up with more sound
effects. Also, I think there should be more generic
utterances from the actors. Grunts, hums, and the like.
They provide contextual clues as to who's still there /
who's arriving, etc.
I would stick to a certain required recording baseline for
samples. Genma's, Akane's, and the Narrators samples all had
sampling efects wich made the radiopay sound patchworked.
Hopefully you'll have more control with future projects.
Finally, I would include links for the authors on the
webpage. That way, people could see what other works Gary,
Kara, Alan, Krista, et al. have done.
Good work, guys!
Doug
----
dougmacd@dougmacd.net
Please use dougmacd@email.com to reach me for Thanksgiving weekend.
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