"Great Minds"
by Jerico Mele
Tenchi eyed the small doorway to Brain's room. Washuu, in some obscure
joke, constructed a mouse hole in the wall, complete with
transdimensional door and hyperspace storage. What made Tenchi nervous
was the door's shrinking feature, which made him the same height as the
two mice when he passed through.
He knocked, expecting the mice to usher him in when he heard a sudden
commotion. "Come in-" someone began, only to be cut off by a loud smash.
"No one home," another voice said.
"But Brain," the first voice, which Tenchi could now recognize as
Pinky, "we're both here, and all you've been doing is obsessing over
that strange machine you've got in the back."
"Pinky, I'm afraid I'll have to HURT you now," came the regretful
response.
Outside the room Tenchi flinched as the sounds of breaking glass found
there way through the door, followed by the creaking of wood, the shriek
of tortured metal and the screams of a man consumed by flames. There was
a moment of silence.
"Brain, you've really got to watch your step," Pinky said. "Narf."
There was another moment of silence, followed by the sound of one hand
clapping. Well, one hand slapping anyway.
It was lunchtime at the Masaki household and to celebrate the joyous
coming together of an extended family, Ayeka and Ryoko started a
fistfight. The two would be suitors were rolling around on the ground
pulling hair as Sassami brought out the sushi. She carefully stepped
around the rolling women to deliver the tray of fish and sat down across
from Tenchi's seat.
They should start showing up shortly, Sassami thought, doing her best
to ignore the wrestling match going on. As if on queue, Grandpa emerged
from the living room, carefully sidestepping the fight, though noting
absently he could see all the way down Ryoko's shirt. Noboyuki did
likewise, taking his seat across from Grandpa and eyeing the sushi
longingly.
"I guess somethings never change," Washuu said as she emerged from her
lab, taking a seat next to Sassami, "You haven't seen Tenchi have you?"
she asked, drawing a short cease fire from the two girls still rolling
around together.
"Not since breakfast," Sassami said as the Princess reversed the
pirate's half nelson and pinned her arm behind her.
"Oh," Washuu replied, a little disappointed. She glanced at Brain's
empty seat and let out a sigh.
"Are you all waiting for me?" Mihoshi asked as she walked through the
kitchen door, tripping over the two fighting girls and falling right on
the table. Fortunately, between Sassami, Noboyuki, Grandpa and Washuu
all of the food was successfully protected from any Mihoshi related
damage.
Tenchi arrived a moment later, Pinky balanced on his shoulder. He
blinked once as he saw Mihoshi sprawled out on the table, a stunned
pirate/Princess duo on the floor and the rest of the household holding
trays.
"Um, let's eat?" he said, doing his best to sound calm.
"Narf!" Pinky exclaimed as the copious lunch was finally dispatched. He
was full to the brim with food, a condition that allowed the other
neuron in his head to call itself to attention. "I'm bored," he remarked
quietly.
"Well," Washuu said as she finished the last bit of sushi on her plate,
"I guess its back to work for me."
"Oh, let me come! Please, please, please. Brain won't let me back in
the lab until he finishes his project and I'm bored."
Washuu thought for a moment, gears turning in her head. She glanced
down at the mouse. "Why don't you go hang out with Mihoshi?" she asked.
"She's out on patrol," Pinky replied.
Washuu snorted. "Sleeping someplace else is more like it." Still, she
thought, she's not here. Maybe I can get Pinky to tell me what Brain's
working on. "I guess you might as well. After all you've been helping
Brain for a few years now, so how bad can you be?"
"Poit! Thanks Big Red Hair Lady."
Washuu's face took on a brittle appearance. "That's Washuu-chan."
"My dear Prince, trust me when I say I had no idea the Duke was going
to throw you out of the bar. If I hadn't been otherwise engaged I would
most certainly have come to your aid," Snowball told his companion as
they wandered through the French Quarter of Acme Acres.
"Isth all the nobility of thith planet so crude?" the Pink Haired
Wonder asked.
"No-" Snowball began, only to have his explanation cut off in mid
sentence.
"Thith planet reekth of such barbarism."
"Actually, that's the next member of our team. An eminently civilized
fellow who suffers from a simple problem. And he stinks."
"What is hith other problem?" the Prince asked as he daintily pinched
his nose.
"He's French. There he goes! I'll go recruit him."
Snowball took off after the prancing skunk, catching up to him just as
he cornered a scared looking cat. Snowball noticed the single line of
white painted on the cat's back, making her look like a skunk. Well, Mr.
Magoo might not have noticed she was a cat. Quickly appraising the
situation Snowball raced forward and climbed the barrel the cat was
cowering before. He quickly knocked over the turpentine container,
washing away the skunk markings from the cat's back.
"Mr. Le Pew?" Snowball ventured as the skunk dejectedly watched the
escaping cat.
"How can I help you, my little friend?" Pepe asked, his natural good
humor returning.
"I'm a representative of the Make A Dream Happen Foundation, and I have
a letter sent to you by a female admirer," Snowball said as he handed a
letter to the skunk.
"Well if I can make some woman's dreams come true then I- yikes, she is
beautiful! Where might I find this pure beauty?" Pepe said as he looked
at the picture included.
"She lives in Japan, under the domination of a tyrant named Tenchi,"
Snowball told him, thankful he managed to get a copy of Photoshop to run
on the Prince's Tree.
Around the world, darkness had finally set on the Masaki household.
Tenchi sneezed once in his sleep, causing both Ayeka and Ryoko to shift
silently in their sleep. Sassami slept soundly, her aura of cute (patent
pending) busily eroding her sister's teeth from across the room.
Nobuyuki dreamed of�ell, we'd better just skip over Noboyuki's dreams
until I decide if I'm up to writing a lemon. And in the Shrine, Yosho
dreamed of candy canes and sugar daddies (what, can't a man dream?).
Ryo-Ohki heard it first, a low cackle that tickled her ears until the
cabbit finally woke. Sassami was next, the movement of the
spaceship/cute mascot enough to trigger her consciousness. Ayeka was
woken a moment later, her sister's confused whimper snapping her to full
consciousness almost instantaneously. In mere minutes the entire
household was awake (except Yosho, who was too busy chasing chocolate
bunnies).
They gathered in the living room, the cackle having worked its way up
to a malevolent chuckle before ascending to the point of true
megalomaniacal laughter. Everyone was surprised when Washuu ran out of
her lab, obviously not laughing. Everyone was even more surprised when
Pinky came out a moment later, wiping lipstick off his face. Ryoko
actually fainted when her mother started blushing violently (violently
enough to knock out the amused daughter).
And across the yard from the house, standing on a towering artifice
that had appeared from Brain's Lab, was the other megalomaniac of the
house. Staring at the stars he raised a fist and shook it at the night
sky (almost losing his balance when a strong gust of wind rose from the
plains).
"It is done!" he bellowed in a baritone much too deep for his body. "My
greatest creation is finished!"
Author's Notes:
It is done! Part five of "Great Minds" is finished! Also: I have no
problems with the French, but I suffer from the American problem of
mocking both them and the Canadians. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading
this part, I know I enjoyed writing it.
Jerico Mele was last reported cackling as he ran down Mass Ave. He was
reportedly dancing a jig and saying something about not intending to
infringe on any copyrights.
Jmele@brandeis.edu
www.brandeis.edu/~jmele