DISCLAIMER: ... ah, ta heck with it.
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Ranma 1/2: "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry - pt. 7
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
----------------
Nabiki studied Shampoo and Ryoga through narrow eyes.
A few hours earlier, they were painfully polite as they
sipped tea and discussed the fight at his house that
morning. Of her explaining why Mousse had always attacked a
guy who she was attached to or had a crush on her (leaving
out details, of course). Of him explaining why he was in
love with Akane. The conversation lead to Ryoga and Shampoo
discussing Ranma and what exactly happened the past week
with him, Akane, and Ranko.
She talked of Ranma ... and felt nothing. Not even a twinge
of excitement or anger.
He talked of Ranma ... and felt saddened. He never realized
how angry he was until now.
Eventually, the talk relaxed, both settled on sitting
pillows next to each other and recalling the stunts they
pulled at the Wedding Fiasco. Nabiki left, feeling shame for
bringing on that mess, a little surprised the Lost Boy and
the Amazon were talking about it like an embarrassing moment
they could finally laugh about.
They talked about martial arts and Amazon culture and the
mysteries of the 'lost' gene. They got to know each other,
and Ryoga's understanding of Cantonese became much better
with Shampoo as a companion.
<Why was I ever afraid of her?> he wondered. <She isn't the
air-headed glomper I know her to be, but an intelligent
human being.>
Shampoo felt ... comfortable with him. He didn't take
advantage of her, but treated her like a gentleman would.
(Of course, she never tried to date a gentleman before.) She
swallowed the lump in her throat, wondering if it was
possible to fall in love on a first (kinda) date.
Ryoga reached back to rub his shoulder, and she brightened.
"{I can perform excellent back rubs,}" she offered. "{Would
you mind?}"
He looked up at her, surprised by this. "You can massage,
too?"
"{Yes, and I'll even go easy on you, since you had a hard
day.}"
He inhaled sharply, eyes widening slightly. A girl was going
to ... rub her hands on him? Oh, my. Oh, MY!
Shampoo crawled around him, sticking her rear up in his line
of vision. All he could do was stare, then quickly turned
his head away from her.
"Um, what do you want me to do?"
"{Just relax,}" she replied, placing her hands gently on his
shoulders as she settled.
"I've never done this before."
She giggled as she drew her legs around his, pinning his
thighs with her knees locked over them. He tensed, feeling
her hands stroke down his back and up again, finding knots
he never knew were there. Nervousness and newly awakened
arousal danced across his mind and through his body. He
shifted uncomfortably, figuring out part of his problem was
standing at attention at the moment.
Shampoo smiled silly to herself, delighting in the feel of
his muscles through the shirt. His scent was strong in her
nose, his skin warm, his body nervous under her hands. She
felt a familiar ache in her breast, but this one was
sharper, rounder, fuller. She pressed her breast against his
back, luxuriating in the feel of his body.
She couldn't help herself. She leaned forward and kissed the
back of his neck.
"Eep!" Ryoga attempted to jump up in shock, only to find
himself pinned by her legs around his.
"{Did that surprise you?}" she asked in a low, husky voice.
He gulped, overwhelmed with her sweet scent and warm body.
"Yes!"
"{I'm sorry.}" She ran her hands under his arms and around
to his chest, running them over the firm muscles. She lay
her head on his shoulder, embracing him.
Ryoga calmed, feeling her head resting against him.
Actually, he wasn't calm, as a debate between his hormones
and his mind escalated into a war. He was male, and he was
attracted to a beautifully endowed girl in a tight dress.
<But she's a person ... she's a human being ... I can't hurt
her ... >
"{Mmm, my Ryoga.}" Her lips caressed up his neck, up
alongside his ear, where she nibbled gently on the lobe. She
squeezed her thighs around him, feeling him move.
"Shampoo, I - I - "
"{Yes?}"
He took a deep breath, turning in her arms and wrapping his
around her. He searched deep in her eyes, looking for
permission, finding she was all too willing.
Their lips met. She guided his inexperienced ones gently,
loving his mouth with all her passions. There was a dreamy
intimacy to their kiss, as he hungrily devoured hers in need
and she made love to his with desire. Their hands wandered,
hers pulling him down on top of herself as she leaned back,
allowing his hands to tenderly massage her sides.
"{Oh, Ryoga!}" she murmured against his lips.
"Oh, Gods, what am I doing?!" he shrieked, forcing himself
off of her. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't
have done that, oh, my God."
"Ryoga," she sat up as she called for him. "{Please, come
back here.}"
"No," he stood up, stumbling around. "Oh, my God, I can't
believe I did that, I'm so sorry, Shampoo."
"{Don't apologize for it - }"
"I have to go, I have to think about this." With that, he
charged out of the house through a window and disappeared
into the dark night.
Shampoo stood and leaned out the window, looking for him.
<Well, it was a start. I hate being left hanging like that,
though.>
Nabiki got up from her vantage point on the floor, her roll
of film half-filled.
<Time to make some money off a few interested parties.>
* * * * * * * * * *
(The next morning)
"Doctor Tofu!" an excited voice cried over the phone. "You
have to come to the Furinkan High School gym! You're the
only person qualified to deal with this situation."
"What? Was there an injury? Isn't this a day off from
school?"
"No. Yes. And there's a couple of ghosts in the gym. When
can you come over?"
"Fifteen minutes."
* * * * * * * * * *
The day dawned bright and clear. The sky gleamed lapis
lazuli blue, illuminating the redheaded girl dressed in an
orange skirt and yellow tank top as she leapt from roof to
roof of the houses of Nerima toward the high school.
She paused on top of the gym, looking around. No one noticed
her perched on top of it, holding a large bag over her back.
She breathed deeply, feeling the cool breeze stir her loose
hair over her shoulders.
She figured the best person to talk to would be her Niichan.
And she did miss him.
Ranko knocked at the outside hatch, slipping in and
chuckling, "I hope you perverts are dressed."
She dropped the bag in and landing on her feet. She found
Ranma and Akane laying on the futon, both still dressed in
their pajamas (which were buttoned all wrong).
"Did I interrupt something?" she asked nonchalantly.
"Uh, no!" Ranma replied, getting up and hugging her.
"Liar," she giggled. "It's been almost a week, and I assumed
you two needed some stock up."
"Has it been a week??" he separated from her. Akane stood up
and touched Ranko's shoulder.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am, oneechan," Ranko giggled pleasantly. "What
were you two doing? Did she finally break your virginity,
Ranma-kun?"
He gulped, blushing, stammering. Akane laughed, "He's still
a virgin - technically."
Ranko howled with laughter, dropping to roll around on the
floor and clutch her stomach.
Akane and Ranma put the groceries away as she continued
laughing.
"Are you done yet, Ko-chan?"
"Almost - bwee-hee-hee ... "
The young lovers settled back down on the futon, smiling and
caressing each other gently.
"After all this time," the redhead gasped as she sat up.
"You two are still able to keep going?"
Ranma shrugged, grinning. "We're catching up from all year."
"From the moment we met in the bath."
Ranko chuckled. "That will take a little while, then."
"Almost there. Hey, Ko-chan," Akane brightened. "Like to
join us?"
"BWAAAAAAK!" Ranma's eyes bugged out.
"Shut up, Ranma-sama," Akane tickled his tummy.
Ranko raised an eyebrow. <Oh, my, a week ago she was about
ready to kill me because she suspected I was making
insinuations.>
But the opportunity to yank Ranma's chain was too good to
pass up.
"Tempting. What shall the combination be? Us on you? Us
girls on Niichan? Or I go curse and us guys on you? Or he
goes curse and all of us girls?"
"Thousands of combinations ... " Akane mused, smirking. "How
about you and me, either form?"
"Yeah, Niichan can watch!"
"BWAAAAAAAK!!!" Ranma squeaked again.
"Or I can go curse and you can watch me and Niichan!"
"BWAAAAAAAK!!!" Ranma squealed, facefaulting and blushing at
the same time.
Akane sighed, leaned over, and kissed his mouth shut. After
a moment, she whispered something to him.
"You were only kidding?" he asked, relief in his voice.
"Of course we were," Ranko added, winking to Akane.
"Whew! Akane is already too much for me! The both of you
will give me heart failure!"
"Oh, well," Akane chuckled. "If you keel over, I'll just
have to take up with your beautiful sister."
"BWAAAK!"
Ranko laughed, patting his knee. "Don't sweat it, Niichan."
"Yeah," Akane said, wrapping her arms protectively around
her lover. "It'll be a while before I'm ready to share you
anyway." She turned to Ranko, her eyes gleaming. "It's been
heaven up here, Ko-Chan! Do you know what we did last
night?"
Ranko began blushing. "Haven't we embarassed Ranma enough?"
"Ranma and I had a fight!" Akane proclaimed proudly. "Our
first!"
Ranko looked confused. "Beg pardon?"
Ranma chuckled. "Not like we used to. We had a disagreement,
we got a little hot under the collar, we made up. No big
deal."
"No malleting, no name-calling, no screaming, no crying,"
Akane clarified. "It wasn't those temper tantrums we called
fights. And we coped with it!"
Ranko applauded. "I *knew* you could do it! Congratulations
- both of you!"
Ranma and Akane stood and bowed to the applauding Ranko.
"So, Ranko," Ranma asked. "The food all that brought you
up?"
Ranko shook her head. "I actually came here to talk to you
about something - something important to both of us."
Akane got up and gathered her towels. "I'll let you two
talk, then. I'm going to the shower."
"You better, Akane-sama, you're as whiff as a skunk."
"Oh, shut up, you."
Ranko looked around her birthplace and noticed something
different. "Hey, where's my mirror? Afraid I could look in
on you?"
"Actually ... " Ranma shifted uncomfortably. "We couldn't
see our reflections."
"Nani?"
"Yeah," Akane added, the lilt gone from her voice. "We can
see the room, but we couldn't see ourselves. So, we covered
it up and moved it behind a wall."
"That's *really* odd," Ranko nodded. "Mind if I take it and
let Ono have a look at it?"
"'Ono'?" both repeated, puzzled.
Ranko's eyes widened and she muttered, "I meant 'Tofu-
sensei'!"
Ranma and Akane's eyes met, smiles spreading across their
faces.
"Oh, no, you two, forget whatever it is you're thinking!"
Akane waved with her towel, disappearing down the inside
hatch of the gym.
Ranko cleared her throat and settled down next to Ranma. He
turned and hugged her closely, touching his cheek to hers.
"I'm so glad you came to visit. You look like you're having
a martial arts fight inside your head."
"It feels like it at times," she lay her head on his
shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. "Nodoka has come to
make peace with me."
"That's good," he commented, then felt her arms squeeze him
tightly. "Okay, that's *not* good."
"You know why I dislike her, Ranma-kun," she breathed
against his neck. "I'm so tired of her excuses. She's never
apologized to you, never tried to seek you out and take you
back."
"She's only following duty and honor," he rubbed her back.
"You can't hate her for that alone."
"Yes, I can." She ran her cheek up along his throat and
face. "I'm tired of all of it." Her eyes met his as her
heart flip-flopped inside her chest. "And I'm so alone now."
She closed her eyes, running her lips over his chin and up
to his mouth.
"Ko-chan, no, we can't." He released her, moving back from
her face. "It's ... not like it used to be anymore."
"Gods, I'm sorry," she held her face in her hands.
"Everything is weirding out on me. First all this with
Nodoka, then Shampoo chasing after Ryoga, Pantyhose showing
up and trying to find Happosai, but finding out he's Ryoga's
half-brother ... "
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Actually, that doesn't surprise
me. Both kinda look alike."
<And you don't know the other half of the story, brother
dear.>
"Now I'm working for Tofu-sensei, and something really
disturbed me last night."
"Yeah?"
She looked at him. Then wondered why she was dumping all her
complaints on him.
"Nothing. Forget it."
"Ko-chan."
She lay her head back on his shoulder, weeping. "I miss you
so much. I never realized how alone it is out here."
"Oh, Ko-chan, give everything time. You're only a few days
old. Nothing is easy. It took me over a year to figure out
Akane is my love."
"I know, dearest. I was in there - " she tapped his
forehead. " - during that time."
"Thank you," he whispered, kissing her cheek.
"For what?"
"For being in there. You saved me from becoming a monster,
from losing my humanity that the Old Bastard beat out of me.
It scares me to think of what I'd've become if you hadn't
kept me sane."
"I handed the job over to Akane-chan, love," she replied,
then breathed deeply. "What am I to do with Nodoka?"
"Listen to her and forgive her, like I have."
"Easier said than done, Niichan."
"I know," he smiled, chucking her chin up. "I'm working on
my problem with Genma."
Ranko nodded. "That one I'm not even going to go into."
"What else has happened?"
She chuckled. "Everybody thinks the gym is haunted."
"Nani?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Tofu felt out the ki-patterns around the gym. Three life-
forces were present, one in the girls' shower room and two
above his head. He recognized the familiar energy of his
receptionist, and the newly tuned ones of Akane and Ranma as
well.
<So, this is where they have been hiding out.>
"You say the gym is haunted?"
"Yes," the head custodian replied. "By the ghosts of ancient
warriors."
Tofu raised a professional eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"
"They shout out 'Banzai' quite often."
The doctor snickered into his hand, covering it up with a
cough.
"I'll see what I can do. Please leave me to investigate."
"Arigato."
* * * * * * * * * *
A soft knock came from the hatch a moment later, and Ranma
went to open it. Instead of finding his fragrantly wet
Akane, it was a chuckling Doctor Tofu.
"Hey, doc," Ranma greeted him in surprise. "How'd you find
us? Did Ko-chan tell you?"
"Not at all, Ranma-kun," he smiled nervously at Ranko. "One
of the school employees called me on a matter of the gym
being haunted ... Something about ghosts shouting 'Banzai',
I understand?"
Ranma blushed as Tofu smiled and looked around.
"A good, quiet place for Akane to rest. Good choice."
"I think so," Ranma admitted. "Rest isn't exactly the word
I'd use, though."
"Oh?" Tofu grinned.
"I was born here," Ranko offered, to save Ranma any further
embarrassment. "In fact, I'd like you to take a look at the
mirror ... "
She disappeared and Tofu checked Ranma by Third Eye only,
seeing the teenager's aura was a swirl of dramatic color,
happiness and love playing around his energy. Akane was
healing him nicely.
Ranko came back in with the mirror draped with a blue sheet.
She removed it and asked, "What do you see?"
Tofu studied the mirror, waved his hand in front of it. Then
tapped into his own energy, reading the mirror.
"Fascinating," he murmured, leaning closer to the glass,
feeling it. Ranko hung over his shoulder, touching the
mirror as well. He swallowed, picking up her gentle scent of
violets and female musk.
"You know how Ranma and I would meet, by appearing on
opposite sides of the mirror. It wasn't like that before we
contacted."
"It was an ordinary mirror I picked up out of the trash
heap," Ranma shrugged. "It still has that crack at the top.
Did a lot of meditation with it."
"And that's how I was able to corner you, dear," Ranko
smiled, laying her hand on his cheek. Tofu noticed this
affectionate gesture and smiled.
"I'm glad it did," the doctor commented. "Although the
status quo has been turned upside down by it. Ranko-chan, it
appears that the Gods may have had a hand in your birth."
"Nani?" both Saotomes asked.
"Just a hypothesis. Whatever caused you to join our world
was not of this Earth. Most objects touched by a God or Gods
retain divine residue. This mirror appears to have been - "
He felt Ranko leave his shoulder and he turned to see her
staring off into space, sitting down on the futon.
"Ko-chan?" Ranma sat next to her, holding her shoulders.
"Niichan ... I had a *purpose* for being born!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Nodoka didn't just give birth to you. You had a stillborn
twin sister ... and it may have been me."
"'Nature always finds a way'," Tofu quoted, sitting on her
other side, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And the Gods do
find ways of ensuring it."
Ranma shook his head, dizzy with the news. "No wonder mom
always wanted to adopt my female half as a daughter. I - you
- look like her, and she probably believed that my twin
sister would look like ... us, or something. She always
wanted a daughter, Ko-chan. Can't you give her that chance?"
Ranko inhaled sharply, swallowing the tears back. She felt
Ranma's arms around her, holding her closely. She also felt
the doctor's hand on her shoulder, sending her healing
energy.
"I - I can't. Not now. Not yet."
Ranma opened his mouth but Tofu shushed him.
"Come along, Ranko. I'll take you home."
She nodded, allowing the doctor to guide her up and to the
hatch. He allowed her to go first and he turned to Ranma.
"Will she be alright, doc?"
"You know more than I do how emotional she is," he replied,
sighing. "Who knows with her. She's a strong girl, but she's
not completely mature. The possibility of her breaking down
is remote, but the probability of her doing something ...
dangerous is likely."
"You're saying she's crazy?"
"Not at all," the doctor answered. "But she's emotionally
vulnerable and lonely."
Ranma nodded. "She ... tried to ... you know."
"I see. Don't worry, I'll look after her. How is Akane
doing?"
"Better, just need a little while longer."
Tofu smiled. "If there's ever a problem, you know where I
am."
"Yeah ... and take care of Ko-chan."
"Of course I will. She's a special girl."
"I know. See ya, doc."
Tofu waved and slipped down the hatch, thinking about his
diagnosis. Perhaps there was truth in it after all. Then a
better reason to not make odd noises in her direction. She
needn't the advances of an older man ... <Oh, shut up, you
old fool.>
* * * * * * * * * *
The first thing Pantyhose Taro became aware of was the
feeling he had been put through a blender a few times.
Then he realized it was only his brain that had been pureed.
The second thing he became aware of was the stabbing pain in
his gut.
The third was that the mysterious woman who attended to him
during his post-surgery daze was gone.
He carefully slitted his eyes open, thankful for whatever
person who had kept his room as dark as possible, despite
the light on the other side of the curtain. He heard his fa
- he heard Ichiro Hibiki softly singing an old song about
the sorrows of sake, chuckling to himself.
"Shut up over there," Taro croaked. "I want my sleep and my
brain back."
"Good morning, my son," the senior Hibiki greeted him. "I do
believe Tofu-sensei kept your brain intact."
"Intact enough to scramble it. Where's the lady that visited
me?"
"Kasumi Tendo? Back home."
"Kasumi Tendo?" he repeated the name, racking through the
shattered bits of his brain to remember who she was.
Oh, yes, the quiet Tendo girl who did all the cooking and
cleaning. A pretty, unassuming young woman he only met in
passing. He remembered she never laughed at him - he liked
that.
"Feeling any better, son?" Ichiro asked.
"Like crap," Pantyhose replied. "Thanks for your concern,
Ichiro. Where the hells' that giant pork chop that landed on
me?"
Hibiki laughed, pulling the curtain aside. "The sumo pig is
being treated for trauma as we speak. So's the little girl
who owns it."
"Little girls should stay out of fights," Pantyhose
commented. "Speaking of little girls, where's that pig-boy
so-called brother of mine?"
"He went to talk with the Amazon girl at the Tendo dojo last
night, but he hasn't been seen since."
"Heh heh heh. Lost Boy gets lost again!"
"Son, please don't be so harsh on him. I worry about him. He
needs to take his medication regularly, and this is not
helping any."
"He'll come around. Always shows up when he's not wanted."
Ichiro sighed, laying back on his pillows. "But something
puzzles me."
"Hell, your problem."
"But you may help in this answer, since you have had a
Jusenkyo Curse all your life."
Pantyhose sighed. "Shoot, old man," he said, turning over to
meet him eye to eye.
"Ryoga just started his medication that morning, and it
takes several days for it to start to take effect."
"Yeah, so? He's nutty."
"May I politely tell you to shut up, son?"
"I'll *un*-politely tell you to shove it."
Hibiki sighed, too tired to argue. "The point I'm getting at
is that Ryoga appears to have the effect of the medication
working on him almost immediately."
"Really."
"Last night he was calm and rational."
"He changed to his pig-form and back after taking it?" the
monster-boy asked.
"Yes, immediately after."
"That explains it," he replied, turning over.
"I don't understand," Ichiro asked.
"Listen, Ichiro, he turns into a mini-slab of bacon. That
means whatever dose of medication you put in him in his
larger form will have a stronger effect. He's able to
metabolize it faster due to the action of the curse
activation."
"So, the curse speeded it through his system?"
"Exactly. I use the opposite effect to get rid of hangovers;
changing into my other form and back. So, you need to find
the bacon-bit again and keep his medicine going."
Ichiro smiled, reaching over to pat to his eldest son's arm.
"You always had a sharp mind. I'm proud you are my son."
Pantyhose pressed his lips together, denying he ever wanted
to hear those words. "Whatever, Ichiro. Hey, doc! When can I
get out of here?? I got places to go, people to hunt down!"
Hibiki sighed and looked up to the ceiling. Being a real
father was harder than he thought. <One son that hates me,
another who is missing, and another who'll never know me.
And another two that may or may not be mine. Who knows who
else. All my children have ended up in Nerima. How'd that
happen?>
* * * * * * * * * *
Akari stormed into the Nekohanten, waving a handful of
photographs around that she had purchased from Nabiki Tendo
that morning for a total of five thousand yen.
"Who is this Shampoo?!" she demanded. "My Ryoga-sama is
being molested by this purple-headed tart!"
Cologne hopped out to see what the disturbance was. She
squinted at the girl, reading her energy patterns for a
moment.
<Very, very, VERY strange aura this child has. Some sort of
emotional disturbance. An obstacle in the path of my grand-
daughter's happiness with the Hibiki boy. Must be taken care
of.>
"What do you want of my great-granddaughter?"
"I've come to tell her to keep her dirty hands off my
boyfriend!"
"*Your* boyfriend? Child, he has been chosen by the Goddess
to be the husband and consort of my great-granddaughter."
"Over my dead body!" Akari shrieked, shoving the pictures in
the old woman's face. "Look at that! She's all over my
Ryoga! Waaaahhhhhh!!!"
Cologne studied the pictures and smiled, seeing her daughter
had the boy firmly in her grasp. <Doing a better job with
Hibiki than she did with Ranma.>
She cleared her throat and said, "If you wish to speak with
her, she is at the Nerima Clinic. She is there to talk with
Ryoga Hibiki's father."
"What?? No!" Akari charged out of the restaurant, dashing to
the clinic. "I'll save you, Ryoga-sama!"
The Amazon matriarch smiled, chuckling to herself. <Let the
games begin!>
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga Hibiki had intended to go straight home after he
escaped the close encounter with Shampoo the night before.
But, he became lost after he jumped out of the window,
wandering around during the night. He was pleased to know he
was still in Nerima when the morning dawned, recognizing the
high school.
He noted the figures of Ranko Saotome and Doctor Tofu
leaping from the gym block to the top of the clock tower,
then off to the rooftops, but didn't feel like calling out
to them to talk. He was still thinking.
He spent all night thinking. It was an odd feeling in his
head, in which he was able to think from point A to point B
without point C interrupting his path. He wondered if the
medication had taken effect already. If it had, it would
explain his ability to think on more than one track.
Shampoo was the warmest, most intelligent, wonderful girl he
had ever known. She was nice and cuddly, funny and sweet. He
wasn't sure why he never noticed these traits in her before.
<Because I was in love with Akane,> he reminded himself.
Ouch.
But, she tried to corner him, even got him to kiss her. It
scared him. Her power over his desires scared him.
He always prided himself on being a gentleman, of never
taking advantage of a girl (excepting Akane - a circumstance
which he found harder to rationalize all the time) and never
hurting one (again, excepting Akane).
So, what does a gentleman do when an extremely sensual and
beautiful woman enters his life, determined to love him and
marry him?
He panics, by jumping out of windows and running off into
the night.
Ryoga paused in front of a building and banged his head
against the door, causing it to open in. He fell face first
on the floor.
Delicate hands picked him up, murmuring soothing words in
Cantonese. He looked up to find Shampoo with the baby
strapped to her chest.
"Hi, Shampoo. I'm sorry for running out like I did. Where
are we?"
"Tofu clinic, silly!" she smiled, running her hands over his
face. "{I was worried about you leaving the way you did. I'm
sorry for pushing you too far before you were ready.}"
"{I don't know what I want, Shampoo.}" Ryoga answered in
badly-accented Cantonese. "{It's so sudden.}"
"{I know, Ryoga. Your father has been worried about you
being gone.}"
The baby gurgled, pawing at her breast. The Amazon laughed.
"Man, Happosai reverts to his usual behavior!" Ryoga
exclaimed, carefully taking the infant's arm away (and
careful to avoid touching her breast as well).
She felt her body tense, then she smiled. "{Actually, that's
a baby's way of wanting milk. But Chibi-Happi cannot have
milk.}" she giggled, touching her nose to the baby's,
drifting into baby-talk. "{Oh, no, he can't. He must have
cool formula so he won't drink any hot liquid and turn back
into a nasty pervert again.}"
"{What are you going to do - keep him from drinking anything
hot his entire life?}" Ryoga asked.
"{No,}" Shampoo answered. "{Just a year and a day. Then
he'll be locked in one form.}"
"Nani?" Ryoga exclaimed in surprise.
"{That's the cure - stay in one form for a year and a day,
and you stay in that form for life.}"
Ryoga was surprised, to say the least. <That simple? But ->
"{How the hell do you do *that*? With goldfish salesmen and
breaking water pipes around every corner?}"
"{In the Amazon village, an elder uses the hibernation
shiatsu point to put a victim in a coma, then keep them in a
dry vault until the time's up. Minimizes the risk of
transformation.}"
"{Sounds simple enough. They have a dry vault open?"}
She shook her head. "{It's risky. The victim has to be
tended like any coma victim - intravenous feeding and so on.
With the same effects. Muscles atrophy. Nerves deteriorate.
In any case, when using the hibernation point that long, a
person may never wake up, or die.}"
Ryoga shuddered. "{Perhaps later.}
Shampoo smiled. "{I feel the same way. Being stuck on a
shelf for a year just doesn't appeal to me. If something's
going to cripple or kill me, I want to see it coming, maybe
get in the first bite.}"
Ryoga smiled, then sobered. "Is dad still here?" he asked,
switching back to Japanese.
"{Yes. He and I were just talking. He's been worried about
you.}"
"Gomen nasai," he whispered, touching her cheek. "I just had
to think."
"{Have you decided?}" she asked expectantly.
"Not yet. Where's dad?"
"{I'll take you to his room,}" she replied softly, taking
his hand in hers. She felt Chibi-Happi settle against her
breast in a nap.
<This is what it is to be complete,> she mused, feeling
child against her chest and mate's hand in her own.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akari entered the clinic in a rage, looking around the
lobby. A redheaded girl - Ranko, Ranma's sister, she
recalled meeting her last night - appeared from the back,
holding a pot of tea.
"May I help you?"
"I'm looking for an Amazon by the name of Shampoo! Where is
that relationship-wrecking tramp?"
Ranko raised an eyebrow. She heard Shampoo called a lot of
things, from 'retarded gaijin' to 'top-heavy slut', but this
was the first she ever heard of 'relationship-wrecking'.
<Oh, this must be that weird pig-girl that's obsessed with
Ryoga - Akari. Probably heard about him and Shampoo.>
"In the Hibiki room, with Ryoga and his family."
"RYOGA-SAMA! I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU!" Akari screeched as she
ran down a hallway.
"Um, young lady? They're at the other end of the clinic,
five-A."
"Arigato!" Akari shouted as she ran past her again.
Ranko shook her head, setting the teapot down on the warmer.
"What a dip. Shampoo is going to snap-kick her into orbit."
Akari burst into the Hibiki room, seeing her Ryoga-sama
sitting on one side of his father's bed and the Amazon
sitting on the other side, both their hands being held by
the senior Hibiki.
"What do you think you're doing with Ryoga-sama?" she
intimated, waving the scandalous photographs around.
Shampoo looked up at her in surprise, then narrowed her eyes
at her. "Hush! You wake baby!"
"Baby?!?" Akari repeated, now noticing the bundle attached
to Shampoo's chest. A tiny blonde infant napped peacefully.
"Yes. Shampoo mother. Must marry Ryoga right away," she
explained, her face brightening. <Take that, you stupid pig-
obsessed little girl.>
Akari's mouth opened wide in a wail that broke the room's
window. "WAAAAAHHHHH!!! RYOGA-SAMA!! HOW COULD YOU?!?" She
ran out of the room, sobbing hysterically.
"Huh?!?!?" Pantyhose asked as he facefaulted out of bed.
"You're telling me you two ... ?!" He looked over at
Ichiro. "Like father like son, eh, Ichiro?"
Ichiro felt a sweatdrop form at his temple, worried about
having an illegitimate grandson - then remembered that he,
of all people, couldn't say a damn thing. "I'll be, son. I
thought you were too shy ... "
Ryoga, freshly medicated, blushed furiously, feeling his
ears get hotter and hotter. "No, we didn't! Chibi-Happi is
not my baby!"
"Chibi-Happi?" Pantyhose snorted. "What kind of stupid name
is that?"
Shampoo stuck her tongue out at him. "Happosai not proper
name for baby."
"Happosai?" he echoed, lightbulb flash. *That's* Happosai?
*My* Happosai???"
"Yes," Shampoo said proudly. "Ranma and Ranko change him
into baby, and Shampoo adopt him."
Both Doctor Tofu and Ranko had to be called in to strap
Pantyhose down before he could hurt himself or anyone else.
* * * * * * * * * *
Several hours later, Pantyhose had been calmed down with
assistance from Kasumi, whom Ichiro called and Ranko
discreetly brought in to not disturb the doctor (she had a
talent for that sort of thing). Shampoo took Chibi-Happi
home as Ryoga had a serious talk with his father, who was
just released.
Ranko updated patient records for the day at her desk during
a lull in the action. Her mind wandered over the problem
concerning Tofu and Kasumi.
She felt him approach down the hall, not even bothering to
hide his presence. She looked up and smiled as he walked up
to her desk.
"Anything I can do for you, Tofu-sensei?" she asked.
"Perhaps ... " he leaned down to meet her eyes. "There is a
service I can perform ... *on* you?"
"Nani?" she asked intelligently, leaning back from him. The
look in his eyes scared her a little, causing her heart to
beat in a frenzy.
His arm brushed everything off her desk and onto the floor,
crashing and shattering, papers flying through the air. He
picked her up out of her seat and lay her across the desk,
pressing his body down on hers.
"Sensei! What are you doing?!" she cried, his hands
squeezing her breasts and his pelvis grinding against hers.
"I've wanted your sweet body for a long while, Ko-chan ... "
he murmured, dancing his warm lips across her throat.
She felt her body involuntarily press up to his, a moan
escaping from her lips ...
"Excuse me," a soft voice interrupted her daydream.
Ranko shook her mind awake to focus on the black-cloaked
figure in front of her. The being was quite tall, the face
covered by a hood. Its right gloved hand held a scythe.
"Um, yes? May I help you?"
"I am here to see Doctor Tofu."
Her eyes widened. *Death* wanted the doctor? She flipped
through the appointment book and sighed with relief to
herself. "Yes, here you are, eight-fifteen. Tofu-sensei will
be out shortly, Reaper-san."
"Arigato ... "
Ranko sighed, going back to analyze her daydream. <Where did
*that* come from?> she wondered, feeling her cheeks blush.
<As if I need to taint Ono Tofu with my sloppy desires and
raw virginity. It'll scare the poor man. On other hand, it's
not a bad idea. On the other hand, it is a bad idea.
Although I wish his hand was on me, instead. Argh, shut up,
you stupid girl!>
She sighed again, going back to the files in front of her,
murmuring her shame to herself.
* * * * * * * * * *
(That evening)
Ranma and Akane lay closely together, cuddling in the semi-
darkness offered by a single candle. The night was cool, and
both delighted in the warmth of the blanket and each other's
warm bodies.
They held each other silently, thinking their own thoughts.
Thinking of the outside world and it's responsibilities and
rules and the Old Bastards forcing them to marry.
At least that's what Akane thought, feeling Ranma's strong,
protective arms around her. Her secret dream had become
reality, the one in which she and Ranma were alone at last,
the world completely gone save the one where they alone
existed.
"Ranma-sama? What are you thinking?"
He sighed, resting his cheek against her forehead. "Things."
"Like?"
"I'm worried about Ko-chan."
She held him tighter. "You said Doctor Tofu promised to look
after her."
"That's the weirdest thing of all, my tomboy. Ko-chan never
needed to be looked after. She always looked after me."
Akane bit her lip, thinking on it. "Perhaps that's part of
her being her, always needing somebody to love and be loved
by. That's part of how she was born, right?"
"Yeah. But she's always been stronger than me."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, making him meet her
eyes. "Listen to me, my darling baka - both of you are
equally strong. Hers is different than yours. And I know
Doctor Tofu is a very strong man."
"What are you saying?" he asked, confused.
"I've got a feeling that the good doctor will be able to be
the strength she needs."
"Ko-chan and the Doc?" Ranma chuckled. "That'd be like
Kasumi and Pantyhose!"
Akane shook her head, smiling. "You never know, Ranma-
hentai."
"Hey! Leggo of that!"
"Oh! How lovely! Must be taken care of right away!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Kasumi hummed happily to herself as she changed into her
sleeping gown, glowing in a dreamy sense of bliss.
"Now, what are you all happy about, oneechan?" Ranko asked
her as she entered their room, clad only in undergarments,
fresh from the bath.
"Oh, nothing ... " Kasumi sashayed around the bed to the
dressing table, taking her hair out of her ribbon, still
humming.
"Come on, Kasumi-chan," Ranko giggled, hugging her around
the shoulders. "Obviously some boy has caught your fancy."
"Oh, my, whatever gave you that idea, Ko-chan?" she stared
at her though the mirror.
"Because your aura is all pink and happy and, dare I say,
has the tinge of crush," the redhead answered, pulling on a
pair of Ranma's boxers and one of her tank tops. "So, tell
your little sister who it is."
Kasumi giggled, brushing out her long dark hair. "Nothing
much, really. You know, the Taro boy has quite an
interesting mind once he starts talking."
Ranko paused from unwrapping the towel around her hair.
"Pantyhose actually ... talks to you?"
"Mm-hm," Kasumi confirmed, a smile playing around her lips.
"We had a very nice talk thios afternoon. A little rough
around the edges, but quite insightful. He's had a very hard
life."
The younger girl thought it over and nodded. "So have most
all of us. So, what's the attraction?"
Kasumi turned to face her, shrugging. "I don't really know.
I could say that he *is* quite good-looking with a sharp
mind and a sense of himself. He's over the awkwardness of
adolescence, as we are both about the same age."
"Really? I thought he was Niichan's age," she murmured,
combing her hair.
"No, it just appears that way because of his ... lack of
social skills."
"I always figured you'd fall for a nice gentleman, though,"
Ranko remarked, laying across her bed. "Pantyhose was the
last person I'd picture you falling for. Does he know?"
Kasumi got up and slipped into her own bed, turning over to
talk. "No, I don't think so. It's so hard to tell with men,
since they dither about it so. They give out the wrong
signals and get a girl's hopes up, only to be smashed when
he starts dating your best friend."
Ranko chuckled at the irony. "I take it high school wasn't
that good for you."
"It was horrible for me, but I really didn't have that much
time to think about dating anyway, since I had to run the
house. Taro knows of the same type of loneliness, the same
fear. We respect each other, that's all that really
matters." She turned over and turned out the light.
"Oneechan?"
"Yes?"
"Never mind, good night."
* * * * * * * * * *
Nabiki listened for the sounds in the house, listening to
hear if everyone was finally asleep. She waited a few
moments for Ranko's snoring (every bit as annoying as
Ranma's) to begin, then she slipped out of bed.
She had already dressed in her "ninja" outfit - black shirt
and trousers - and already had her camera loaded and ready
to go. She had a Mission, and the promise of a big chunk of
yen made her mind reel.
Nabiki drifted quietly down the stairs, then left the house
and raced through the streets toward the clinic. She looked
up to the second floor, seeing the light still burning in
Doctor Tofu's private apartment. She scaled the fire escape
of the building next door and settled on one of the
balconies looking into the open window.
She stared in surprise, seeing the doctor performing tai
chi. Of course she had seen many martial artists perform tai
chi (living in a house of them, it was be par for the
course), but she was taken aback by Tofu's command of the
art.
He was without his glasses, as well as being shirtless and
wearin only boxers, his non-scholarly, tightly muscled body
flowing through the forms more easily than water. He exuded
serenity and peace, moving in a sacred dance of body mingled
with spirit.
She remembered to wipe the drool from her chin, scolding
herself for being unprofessional. She now understood why
Akane fell for him like a metric ton of bricks, and how Ko-
chan was blushing.
She marveled at what a fantastic subject he was to
photograph, how each frame though her lens turned out
perfect.
<Damn, you're such a hottie for an old man! If Ko-Chan and
Kasumi don't snap you up ...> She was going to charge Ko-
chan extra for these, her best project yet.
Nabiki watched as he finished, staring as he approached the
window to close it. Then she caught her breath as he leaned
out.
"Nabiki-chan," he commented casually, "You really must be a
less obvious voyeur."
She did the first thing that came to mind: she meowed,
pretending to be a cat.
The doctor chuckled, blushing, "That's rather pathetic. Good
night." And he shut the window and drew the shade.
Nabiki climbed down, grumbling about his awareness
sharpening since she last took pictures. <I'm definitely
charging that damn redhead twice the usual sum for this.>
* * * * * * * * * *
Tatewaki Kuno rested yet again, having just yesterday been
on the receiving end of a ki-blast that was more painful
than usual.
He swore and fumed, demanding to the Gods to know why the
Redhaired Goddess determined him, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High, to not be man enough for her.
Sasuke apologized again to the visitor, leading her into the
inner sanctum of his master's room.
"Ah, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno dipped his head slightly. "I see
you are here to speak with me."
<Stow it, cutie-patootie. I'm not in the mood for your
mouth.> "I've brought more pictures of the redhead for you."
Kuno lit up (a short spark, sure, but what do you want from
a Kuno?). He sat completely up and reached for the package
she held. "At last, beauty forever mine!"
"Uh-uh," the Tendo girl snatched it out of his reach. "Fork
over the cash, Kuno-baby, then you'll get them."
He grumbled, snapping his fingers. Sasuke appeared next to
his bed, holding a money-purse.
"How much?"
"Twenty thousand."
"BWAAAK???"
Nabiki smiled, delighting in his reaction. "Special pics,
baby. With the good stuff showing. There's also a note from
her to you."
Kuno cleared his throat. "Ah, in that case, that can be
worked with. Sasuke."
The ninja opened the purse and counted out twenty thousand
yen most carefully, which Nabiki pocketed. She handed the
package to Kuno.
"You know I hate short good-byes. Sayanora!" She ran out
quickly and silently, not before Kuno caught sight of her
swaying hips, appraising her absently.
He turned back to the package in his hand, ripping the seal
open. He pulled out a single large photograph and an
envelope. He jaw dropped as he looked at the picture:
A smiling Ranko, completely clothed, making an obscene hand
gesture at the camera.
Kuno tore the envelope open and read the following:
"My dear baka-sempai,
May I suggest you sit on it?
You'll never be man enough
for me. Give it up.
Never yours,
RANKO Saotome"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" his cry echoed all over the Kuno
estate.
* * * * * * * * * *
Elsewhere, two people slept, but nowhere near each other.
She slept in the Tendo home while he slept above the Nerima
clinic. But was it just a dream? ... Or is it really real?
Doctor Tofu was going over a file in his office when Ranko
came in, clad in her usual short skirt and tight blouse. He
looked up.
"Tofu-sensei, I need the ordering form for medical supplies.
I saw them in here when I cleaned your office earlier."
"Right," he spun in his chair, digging through the filing
cabinet next to his desk. "What do we need?"
Ranko hitched her leg up on his desk casually as if nothing
were wrong with it, as she began to name off the list.
"Thirty mil. syringes with needles, another box of surgical
gloves ... "
He turned, form in hand, then gasped as he realized at his
angle he could see under her skirt - and know she wasn't
wearing any panties. He stared transfixed at her womanhood,
as she ignored his reaction and continued reading the
remainder of the list.
At last she looked up, seeing him in near shock. "Tofu-
sensei?"
"Whu?"
She pressed her hips forward. "Do you expect me to do *all*
the work?"
"Of course not," he replied, leaning forward. "This must be
a shared task ... " His lips touched her flesh and kissed
her most intimately ...
"Aaaarrhhh!" <THUNK>
"Yaaaaarrrrhhh!" <THUD>
Ranko rolled over on her back on the floor, panting, trying
to kick-start her sleep-addled conscious.
A few block away, Tofu sat up on the floor, banging his head
against the bed frame. "Damned - " <THWACK> " - sub - "
<CLANG> " - conscious!"
She shakily crawled back up on her bed, tightening the
blanket closer around her body to stop her trembling.
Whatever happened, it wasn't just in her head.
Exhausted and with a headache, Tofu crawled to his bath for
yet another cold shower.