It takes me no time to make a new fanfic, does it? Well here comes
another fanfic just for you people who like warped and twisted stories.
Please Send C&C and Enjoy! *_*
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Chapter 1: Alone.
"What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in
faculty! In form, in moving, express and admirable! In action how like
an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The
paragon of animals!" -From Hamlet, by Shakespeare.
My eyes were directed towards the cup of coffee on the table in
front of me. This half full cup of coffee was my focus in the world. All
my thoughts drifted as I looked down into it. It was so calming, yet the
calm brought back bad memories. Memories that could never be drowned,
never forgotten. Memories that could follow a man to his death and
beyond.
Memories of their death, my family's death. The death brought on by
my hands. Five years ago. Five long years, years that will haunt me
forever. I wished I had never killed them, I wished I knew why. I just
did. And why? Why!? Why!? Why!?
And because of all of this, I am alone. No friends, no family, or at
least none that dare talk to me again. No friends, not one. And I even
I've alone. Even if I could have lived with someone, they wouldn't let
me, the doctors. They say I am still a danger to others, and should go
through this gradually, instead of rushing into it.
And therefore I sit here, waiting to go to school, waiting to go to
school while looking into a cup of coffee. Soon I would ave to go to
school, and face humanity. Humanity with all its flaws and hates. All
its injustice and prejudice. And all its people. People who would be
afflicted by fear, fear towards me. They fear me with all the good
causes. I killed my family in cold blood. I've been labeled as slightly
unstable by the doctors. And I've been isolated from people for quite a
while. Yet the doctors send me to school. Grade 10, which is about my
level. I did study while under psychiatric help. It helped take my mind
off so many of my problems, if only for a little while.
It was almost time to go, go to a world I wished would just vanish
around me. I want it all to go, to all go away. To leave me alone and to
never trouble me again. I wanted to be in nothingness, where no one nor
nothing could harm me. Could shatter my heart into a thousand pieces.
Pieces that can never be repaired. And like glass, when you're picking
them up, you're cut. You cut your hand every time you touch the sharp
glass. This continues until you screw all the other pieces of glass, and
stay half a man.
And so therefore my hands are bloody, my heart half made. And my
mind only a third here. I'm not even half a man. I have trouble
believing I'm human anymore. The only thing that makes me still think
I'm human now, is the pain. The unbearable pain in my mind, heart and
soul. A pain that the gods cannot even release. I'm sure of that.
Now is not the time for philosophy. Now I have to get to
school..........
I slowly walked down the street, with my eyes focused on the ground.
I paid no attention to the world around me, it was all blank. It never
existed in my eyes, it wasn't real. It was an optical illusion, fake,
terribly fake. At least in my view. My world of pain was the only one I
lived in, the only one that truly existed in my eyes.
The sky was a light blue, and quite cloudless. The sun was bright in
the blue sky, and it radiated a terrible heat. I was sweating underneath
my white t-shirt and blue jeans.
I heard cars passing by and people talking. I heard the sounds of
the wind blowing gently and the sound of doors opening and closing.
Footsteps were also clear to my ears. Yet never did the sound of my
family's screams leave my mind. The screams of my father, my mother and
my younger brother. These screams would forever echo within my mind. And
I wished they would all just go away!
Before I could continue that train of thought I bumped into
something and fell back onto by back. Quickly bringing myself up to a
sitting position I prepared to yell at whatever had bumped into me.
What it was though, was a girl. She looked about sixteen, the same
age as me. She wore a black faded t-shirt and blue sweat pants. Both
were rather tight which gave me a good view of her excellent figure.
Here eyes were a dark green, and as was here long, well combed hair. Her
skin was creamy white and rather flawless. She was terribly beautiful,
but it didn't matter in the least to me.
She dropped her book-bag and extended her hand out to help me get
up. "Sorry about that. Do you need a hand getting up?"
I quickly pushed the hand away and got up by myself. Then dusting
myself off and picking up my book-bag which had fallen down beside me,
since I had it slung over one arm instead of over two. I grumbled out in
a quite hostile voice. "I'm fine, just watch where you're going. Next
time you'll regret it."
The girl was taken back by that, but just nodded and said nothing.
Before she walked away though, she looked me straight in the eyes and
smiled. Then she walked away, and vanished around the next corner.
I sighed and felt quite annoyed. Stupid bitch. Should watch where
she was going. And the thought never did occur to me that it was my
fault, that I should have been looking around instead of at the
sidewalk. But I am quite closed minded.
Continuing my walk towards school, I mumbled continuously. Mumbling
at that girl who had bumped into me, and that made me feel better. Why?
Because it directed my anger at her for bumping into me. It was one of
these free moments where my family's death did not occupy my mind. But
the screams were still there. Those, terrible, terrible,
screams...............
My lunch was horrible, because I made it myself. A half rotten
tuna-fish sandwich and a can of warm coke I managed to find. All around
today was a crappy day. And as a matter of fact, in my life, every other
day is crappy as well.
I looked around the cafeteria to see people chatting, enjoying
themselves. People laughing and carrying on, having a lot of fun.
Because they lived a relatively normal life. Unlike me, most of them
didn't kill, their parents.
I sat at a table alone, I ate alone, and I did everything alone. I
was alone, and no one could change that. Nor did anyone truly want to.
The doctors, oh they say they want to help, but they really want money,
and lots of it. The one basic drive of mankind itself is greed. Nothing
can overpower greed. Nothing, except maybe sorrow and despair. Who knows
though? Maybe some day I can experience greed. Because I have
experienced the other two. A third won't hurt, will it? Could give me a
whole new view on the crappiness of life.
As I ate my lunch I heard someone siting down at my table. I turned
my attention from the table top to the person who sat there. It was that
damned girl again! It was like she was following me or something.
She opened up a black lunch tin and pulled out a sandwich and a can
of Pepsi. She opened up the can first and took a little sip before
saying. "Hello! First time at school, is it? I'm Alice Baker. Grade 10
student."
I let out a mental sigh at that. Most likely she would be in some of
the courses I was in. Which was bad, very, very bad. She is just so
annoying! And that bubbly voice of her's. But I didn't respond to her at
all.
She waited a minute or two for a response, and then out of
frustration dumped a half a can of Pepsi on my head. Then she got up and
walked away to sit down on a chair at the other end of the cafeteria.
What a bitch! Really! God! What the hell was she thinking anyway?
Damn her to hell. I pulled a napkin from my lunch tin and started to
wipe off my hair and my clothes. My anger, once again, drowning out the
screams.
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It gets darker, trust me! And it is not the romantic story it seems.
Really!
Please send C&C!