1�Ranma 1/2: Ranma's Horrible Secret - Part 2
By Jack Staik
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(That evening)
Kasumi was sitting up in bed reading her romance novel (c'mon, you knew she read them, don't try to deny it), when a blur zipped in the window and dove under her bed. The bed lurched upward, throwing Kasumi onto the floor.
Kasumi looked at the shaking bed and peeked underneath.
Cowering there was Ranma, shaking so hard that the entire bed vibrated.
"Oh my!" she exclaimed (right, like she'd say something else). "Ranma-kun?!? What's wrong??"
"Nothing," he peeped. "Just don't tell Akane I'm here."
"Oh dear, did you and Akane have a fight again?"
Ranma laughed. "I wish!"
"???"
"She's after me, Kasumi," Ranma whimpered. "If she finds me, she'll ... be *NICE* to me!"
Kasumi was silent for several seconds.
"You saw how she acted at supper! It's gotten worse! She let me watch my favorite TV shows! She offered to let me *bathe* with her! She stopped in my room to check up on me! Not just once but over and over!"
"Wasn't that nice of her?"
"You know what I caught her doing just now? Moving my stuff to *her room*!!"
Kasumi raised an eyebrow.
"She says that she wants to be close if I have a nightmare or need anything, but they can't fool me! I go in there, and she and Nabiki will turn me into a pod person or something!"
"For pity's sake!" Kasumi mumbled in exasperation. "This has gone on for long enough!" She went to the door of her room and leaned into the hallway. "Akane! Nabiki! Come here!"
"YEEK!!" exclaimed Ranma, diving into Kasumi's closet.
Akane and Nabiki came into Kasumi's bedroom, wearing their pajamas and looking both curious and nervous.
"Is there something wrong, oneechan?" Akane asked.
"I hope not," she answered.
Akane looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"You two have been acting ... oddly around Ranma tonight."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Nabiki said.
Kasumi shook her head sadly. "Apparently, Akane climbed into the bath with Ranma and tried to move him into her room. He's hiding in my closet right now."
"TRAITOR!!" sounded a voice from the closet.
Akane dashed up. "In your closet? Thanks, oneechan!"
<WHAM!!>
Akane's eyes bugged out from the impact of Kasumi's mallet.
Nabiki was shocked. She'd *never* seen Kasumi use The Mallet Trick - ever!
"Normally, I don't interfere in your private lives," Kasumi began in her 'Maternal-Figure-Putting-Her-Foot-Down' voice (seldom heard since the girls entered their teens), "but I can't have you terrorizing poor Ranma like this."
Akane looked shocked. "'Terrorizing'?" Her eyes filled with tears, her lower lip quavered -
"Hoo-boy," Nabiki commented, "Now you're done it."
"WAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Akane cried. "I JUST WANTED HIM TO FEEL SAFE AND WARM AND LOVED SO I COULD TAKE CARE OF HIM!! NOW HE HATES ME!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
"Akane!" Kasumi snapped. "Why do you need to take care of Ranma?"
Akane wailed louder. "NABIKI TOLD ME ABOUT IT!! I DIDN'T KNOW!! I'M SO SORRY!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
<SPLASH!!>
The soaking-wet Akane wondered, briefly, where the bucket of water came from.
Kasumi knocked on the closet door. "Ranma, come out. I won't let them get you."
Ranma poked his head out cautiously. "Promise?"
Kasumi nodded. "My word of honor."
Ranma came out cautiously, as if he expected drug-crazed spearmen to leap out from under the wallpaper and skewer him. (Well, as a non-martial-artist would act in such a situation; right now, a few dozen drug-crazed spearmen would actually be a relief to him.)
Kasumi turned to Nabiki. "Now, Nabiki-chan ... what did you tell Akane?"
"Five thousand yen," she said automatically.
"At least she's almost back to normal," Ranma muttered.
"Nabiki ..." Kasumi said warningly.
"Alright! I admit it!" Nabiki turned to Ranma. "I ... wanted to get something embarrassing on you, something I could sell."
"Nabiki!" Kasumi said with disapproval.
"I'm sorry!" she said. "Ranma, you know I never ... really liked you."
"I got that idea," he said.
"It was because I thought you were ... playing with Akane and all those girls. That you got off on all those girls chasing you, and the 'panicky Ranma' bit was an act." She hung her head low. "Gomen nasai, Ranma-san. I ... know better now."
"Um, okay," Ranma said, confused. "What changed your mind?"
"I ... found your medical records. And those CAT-scans."
Kasumi looked at Ranma. "What CAT-Scans?"
Ranma explained, "Before Tofu-sensei left for that government job, he wanted to study how I used my ki-abilities. So he had me do some medical tests and some experiments." Ranma suddenly got a look of comprehension. "Is *that* why you've been acting so weird?"
"What do you expect?" Akane said testily. "All this time I thought you were a pervert, and you *can't* be! And I've been treating you like garbage! With no reason!" She started weeping and sat on the bed. Ranma sat besides her and put his arms around her.
"It's all right, Akane ..." he cooed gently.
"Could someone please explain this?" Kasumi asked.
Nabiki took a deep breath before explaining. "It's called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Ranma's brain is ... damaged."
"What?" Kasumi asked, trying to comprehend.
"The part of Ranma's brain where sexual arousal is centered is a mass of scar tissue," Nabiki explained. "Ranma can't feel sexual pleasure. Ever."
"That's not entirely true," Ranma interjected. "I can get erections, have orgasms, that sort of stuff. It just don't mean nothin'. I don't get ... horny."
Kasumi sat down with a thud.
"How did this happen?" Kasumi asked.
"When I was a kid," Ranma began, "Oyaji was teaching me to dodge. He would swing boards at me, and I would try to dodge. One of the boards hit me - one with a nail on it. It went in -" he pointed to a spot on his forehead, "- right here."
"Oh dear," Kasumi said.
"Aw, it wasn't so bad," Ranma said. "The doctors got to the infection before it became gangrene."
Akane hugged him tight.
"Doc Tofu's CAT-scan showed the scar tissue, and a some other tests showed my condition." He shrugged. "It's no big deal."
"But -" Kasumi asked, "- all those times you saw Akane or some girl naked - you'd blush and stammer -"
"Just 'cause I don't get horny don't mean I don't get embarassed!"
Kasumi's face showed a look of profound revelation.
"I'm going to kill Genma Saotome," she whispered. "I'm going to kill him dead."
"Can I help?" Akane asked.
"I can arrange to dispose of the body," Nabiki added helpfully.
"But why the big fuss?" Ranma asked.
"Because we feel guilty, you jerk!" Akane exclaimed. Then she looked shocked. "Oh no! I'm sorry!"
"Akane ..." Nabiki said. "We discussed this, remember? Ranma's condition produces some socialization problems. He can't help but act like a jerk sometimes."
Kasumi looked at Ranma with pity. "Poor Ranma ..."
"HEY!" Ranma said defensively. "There ain't nothin' wrong with me! Just because I don't run around acting like Happosai don't mean there's anything wrong with me!"
"You're right, Ranma," Nabiki said calmly. "Sorry."
Ranma nodded and sat down again.
"Um, why don't you take Akane to bed?" Kasumi asked. "She's probably tired."
Ranma nodded and led Akane to her room.
"One positive effect - he doesn't have strong emotions for very long," Nabiki explained. "He's actually a lot calmer than he'd be naturally. If he was normal, with his temper, he'd be having fights to the death every other day." She chuckled. "Heck, half the stuff I've done to him would have sent him into a killing rage. His condition probably saved my life."
Kasumi could only shake her head.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akane sat up in her bed, Ranma hovering nearby.
"You feeling better, Akane?" he asked.
"Sure," she said, nodding.
"Okay," he said, heading for the door. "I'll go to bed now."
"Be careful!" she said.
Ranma turned around. "Akane! I'm just going to bed. It's not like I'll get hurt walking down the hall."
"Sorry," she said sadly.
Ranma sat down on her bed. "Akane - I've got brain damage. That doesn't mean I'm made of glass. I've been getting into fights and taking baths by myself and even going to bed since before we met."
"I know!" she said. "But I still feel -" She looked down, blushing.
"What?"
"I want to - protect you."
Ranma smiled. "Now you know how I feel."
Akane looked up at him hopefully. "You want to protect me?" <You can still care about me?>
Ranma looked nervous. "Well, y'see, uh - I'd better get to bed now."
As Ranma left the room, Akane asked, "Ranma?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you miss it?"
Ranma shrugged. "Can't miss something you never had."
As he turned again, she repeated, "Ranma?"
"What?"
"I still want to be your friend."
Ranma's voice got hoarse with emotion. "I still want to be your friend, too."
As Akane settled down to sleep, she thought of how her life had changed since that morning, of how her opinion of her fiancee had changed - and one other thing...
If any of those perverted girls laid a finger on her fiance, there would be Hell to pay.
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