FFN: All Fanfiction news, all the time...
Broadcast 3: A Beginning of Sorts
Director, Jason McClaskey
***
Once more, the commercials arrive, unbidden by most. Only this
time, your remote fails to work. And no, kicking the console will
not change the channel, either.
--
"This is Channel 99, FanFiction News Network. A RyoSoft Medias
production. If you would like to donate to this station, please send
all monies to Nabiki Tendo, care of FFN Network."
Fine print scrolls by on the bottom of the screen. "Disclaimer: This
message not endorsed by the FFN Network. Cash preferred. All donations
below 50,000 yen are not tax-deductible. Donations above 50,000 yen
must be hand delivered. Visa and Mastercard accepted if bribed."
--
"Are you tired of pizza showing up cold? Do you find it difficult
to cut around those irritating tire marks and laser burns? Then just
call Ryoga and Akane's HotSpot Pizza Delivery Team! We guarantee
hot pizza in 10 minutes, or you get a free bacon topping!"
Show images of Ryoga running through Tokyo, Osaka, Siberia, and
the greater Chicago area with a pizza trailing smoke in his hands.
Brief images of of gunmen, ninja, assorted martial artists, and a lone
fruitcake attempting to hijack the pizza flip by.
"Remember, here at HotSpot Pizza, we care about your delivery!"
--
"After the news, be sure to stay tuned for this weeks Mecha Edition,
hosted by Galaxy Police officer Mihoshi."
--
"And now, the 3 o'clock news, with Ryoga Hibiki and Akane Tendo."
--
The camera opens with a shot of the Tokyo skyline, then sweeps
back to the studio, centering on the anchor desk. Behind the
desk is Akane Tendo, holding several sheets of paper in her hands.
"Good afternoon, this is the 3 o'clock news. Today is November
19, and I am Akane Tendo. Ryoga is currently with us live via
satellite, at the scene of today's breaking story."
Camera cuts to a shot of the bandana-clad boy, standing before
a scene of destruction. Smoke billows skyward from two crashed
maglev railcars, with several mecha smoldering nearby. The FFN
logo revolves on the edge of the screen, next to a LIVE caption.
"I am standing at the maglev main junction in Shinjuku. Just
minutes ago, during a rountine training exercise, three Class II
mechanized armor suits collided with the overhead rails. Tokyo
police are currently searching for the instructor, a miss Mihoshi,
of Galaxy Police."
A quick shot of the typical police photo appears, detailing the
characteristics of the suspect. As the camera refocuses, a large
ball of flame erupts from one of the mecha. The shot clips back
to the studio.
"Thank you for showing up on location for once, Ryoga. However,
it appears that today's Mecha Edition will be delayed, due to the
lack of a host."
Akane turns towards the camera, picking up her notes. "After
this short break, we'll have the latest financial and weather
news."
--
"And we're clear!"
Technicians scurry about the studio, lights dimming down to a
normal level. Amidst the chaos, studio manager Raye Shino looks
up from her clipboard. "That was a good shot, Akane." Putting
a hand to the earpiece of her headset, she listens intently for
several seconds, before looking back up. "Serena has a piece
after this break. Go find her, Akane. If you can't, round up
someone else double-quick."
"I swear, I'm turning into an errand girl! Find Ryoga, find
Serena, find this..." Grumbling, she stalks out of the studio,
colliding with someone in the hallway. Picking herself off the
floor, she notices a bokken laying beside the collidee.
"Could you watch where you're going, Kuno?"
"That is Assistant Producer Kuno, my dear Akane. And how
very fortunate to find you here." Retrieving his bokken from the
floor, he hands Akane a small card. "I would have you accompany
the celebration of my inevitable promotion!"
"Err, sure... Later!" With that, she quickly runs down the
hall, pocketing the card at the same time.
"Ah, she must be so overcome with joy, to find garb with such
haste."
--
Back in the studio, lights come back up to their higher level,
as the cameras refocus on the news desk. Behind it sits a black-
haired, Chinese-garbed boy. Currently trying to arrange his notes,
he looks back up to the camera.
"Uh, welcome back to the 3 o'clock news. I'm Ranma Saotome,
currently fillin' in for an uncute tomboy."
After glancing over his shoulder, he resumes his hurried note
rearranging. "The top story today concerns the descriptive
headings on common fanfictions. Here with us today, is Chibi-Usa,
who will be starring in the upcoming film, 'Chibi-Usa gets a
Pikachu: Oscar Style.'" The camera pans over to the secondary
desk, where Chibi-Usa is sitting, seemingly distracted.
"Anyway, what prompted you to approach the director, Oscar,
for this part?"
"Huh? Oh, well... mmm. It was just all of those cute Pokemon!
hehehe. Mmmhmm. Yep, that was about- it."
The camera shifts back to Ranma, looking rather uncomfortable
about his guest. "Okay... According to FFML-watchers, the recent
surge in bizarre headers has led to this new film, set to begin
shooting early next week. Thanks for watching the 3 o'clock news,
with Ranma Saotome. Stay around, cause next is some other stuff."
--
If you are not receiving the Anime Cooking channel, contact
your service provider. Imagine seeing the greatest cooks of
the Tokyo and surrounding area, preparing such great recipes
like: Charizard under glass, Japanese omelet (Akane-style),
Mecha Egg Salad, or even cyanide-tinted pumpkin pie.
--
Due to technical difficulties, this week's Mecha Edition, hosted
by GP officer Mihoshi, will not be seen. In its place, we present
the box office hit, 'Rei and Friends pursue Emotional Dissonance.'
***
Author's notes: Not quite polished enough, perhaps. This is yet
another production of RyoSoft Medias, on the FanFic News Network,
not to be confused with WFU on the FFNN. Been waiting for a
good topic, and thought the recent header thread was a good one.
C&C, flames, etc. send to af776@acorn.net.