You see Ranma's face in a video screen, and he is apparently just
setting up the camera. He moves back from the camera, and starts
talking
"Hello. I assume that everyone's here, given the amount that I
paid Nabiki to get this set up. Don't go out and try to kill me
until you've seen the entire video, at least give me the chance to
explain. I am going to, on this video you are watching, lay out the
pros and cons of each resulting situation and decide conclusively,
which of my fiancees I intend to marry. If you take off halfway
through, you may end up with an incorrect interpretation. I am
listing the fiancees in Alphabetical order, so don't be misled by
which one of you I list first, or the order I list you in.
"First, Akane.
"Pros: Cute when she smiles. Most likely based on observation
that she -actually- loves me. Earliest-made and therefore
Longest-standing agreement.
"Cons: Can't cook. DON'T LEAVE I'M NOT FINISHED WITH WHAT I'M
SAYING AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND ME TO KILL ME ANYWAY! Uncute
any time she's not smiling. Most likely abusive relationship with me
on receiving end. Ryouga and Kuno would kill me. Shampoo and Ukyou
would probably kill her.
"Now, Ukyou.
"Pros: Can cook. Cute any time. Least likely to turn into
abusive relationship.
"Cons: Can only cook Okonomiyaki. I may get sick of it after a
long time of having it every day. I don't think she really loves me,
and she was willing to take advantage of me when Happosai used that
pressure-point thing. I only like her as a friend, nothing more.
Akane and Shampoo would probably kill me.
"Finally, Shampoo.
"Pros: Best cook of all three. Ukyou, Akane: don't leave, I'm
not FINISHED. Seems to love me, although I am certainly not sure.
Probably old ghoul has lots of martial arts techniques to teach me.
"Cons: No way of knowing what's -in- what she cooks. Akane and
Ukyou would probably kill her, and maybe also me. Mousse would not
rest until either he is dead, or I am. Likely I'd end up raising
kids, taking care of the house, and generally treated as a
second-class citizen.
"Final verdict.
"Out of the three fiancees, the one I most want to marry is:
*static drowns out his final word*"