Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] [Ranma]Moments In Time
From: "Esa Karjalainen" <eruuska@ratol.fi>
Date: 11/12/1999, 12:15 PM
To:
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>


  "WE had an 80% loss," responded Hiroshi, "They had heavy 
artillery at the back."
Heavy artillery? As in cannons and howitzers or.. Please articulate?


  "You don't want to know," responded Ranma," it's a long 
story."
Long stoy, sure, but "You don't want to know"? struck an odd chord...


  Ranma took a deep breath and began his tail.

tale. Animals have tails.


  "Too much confusion," she responded, "Though is gets s
stronger the higher we go"
it gets stronger.. 
typo..

  After a couple of flights of stairs we decided it was 
too dangerous with all the drones.  We opened the doors 
for an elevator shaft and looked.  The lift was about ten 
floors up, and with a few well placed chi blasts the lift 
was about ten floors down.  WE climbed, or should I say I 
climbed and she road on my back, up till she had the floor 
confirmed.

Is there a reason to WE or should it be We?

them, they were drones like the other.
others.


  So I jumped, straight out the sector seven gap.  As I 
fell I found it strange that I kept level with the same 
floor.  In the floor I could see Nabiki holding Gosenkugi 
in place, and smiling all the while.  That was when I 
figured out what was happening. 
Good thing he did, I didn't get it. Did Nabiki drop the floor somehow
or?
 Too late though, then 

friend, and I'll miss her."

Not for long, obviously. Maybe you could use
"and I'll be happy to see her again." or something.

names of the many who died in the finial battle.
final battle

  Only very few ever knew the location of Ranma's body.  
Buried next to the body of his love, Akane.  All those 
who knew thought it was a noble gesture.  The spot is
taken care of by the highest order in the Church of Ranma.  
All other churchs collapsed after it's creation.  It's an
churches

first been cleared by the council then the president.
council, then

experiance, Nodoka for her maturity, and Cologne for... 
experience

one ever parish then their replacement must have the same
perish

over ripe age of 500.  Her final words were, "Must it have
taken as much death as this before the world achieved peace."
Quite articulate, wouldn't you say?




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