DISCLAIMER: Someone owns Ranma 1/2 but it ain't us. If it
was, we'd have an island somewheres and be too busy being
rich bastards to write fanfics.
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Ranma 1/2: "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry - pt. 4
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
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Ranko-kun peeled the butterfly net from his head before he
entered the Tendo home, steam rising from his form.
The Wakko creature was healed up quite well by Doctor Tofu,
that he ran out of the room and settled on her lap, singing,
"Moshi-moshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, naasu!" while hugging her
tightly and burying his face in her cleavage. Tofu-sensei
had to pry him off of her, and the rest of the evening was
spent in dodging the love-struck creature. The belched
serenade and the cruddy poetry was lost on her, and she lost
her patience for it early enough.
He followed her home, offering to carry her, to ride
piggyback on her, and even offered to haul her home in a
wheelbarrow. She explained to him in perfect (if profane)
English why she was not interested in a patient of the
doctor's, until at last he slammed a net over her and
glomped her.
Perhaps it was luck, but the Evil Washer Woman was dumping
her water out for the evening, and Wakko discovered he
wasn't attached to an attractive redheaded girl, but a
seriously pissed off dark-haired boy in a dress.
Ranko-kun was, perhaps, a little violent, but it never
matched the horror Wakko had.
He quietly entered the house and tip-toed upstairs to the
bath, where he stripped and went through the motions of the
cold water rinse and scrub, then slowly entered the warm
water of the furo. The odd relaxation of his body becoming
female took some of the tension away.
Ranko lay back, closing her eyes.
She had started her first work-day in a bad mood, after her
encounter with Pantyhose. Besides the Wakko creature, she
had to deal with a vampire toad from Australia that had
never seen a redhead before, as well as one talking dog that
spoke Japanese with a German accent and made worse puns than
she could ever imagine. Then having that little weirdo try
to follow her home!
In short, her nerves had dwindled down to one, and nobody
had better work it!
A knock came from the bathing room door, and Nabiki poked
her head in. "Hey, Ko-Chan. Nodoka-obachan is here along
with Hibiki-otosan."
"Yeah, so?" Ranko groaned, sliding down the furo wall.
"They want to talk to you about your 'parentage'."
The redhead fully submerged herself underwater and held her
breath for several minutes, hoping Nabiki would go away.
Instead, the brunette pulled her up by the hair and said,
"Forget it, Ko-chan, you have to talk to them."
"Biki, tell that thing that I'm her son's twin sister, but
she never noticed me because she was never a proper mother."
"Stop being a bitch. Ichiro-san thinks you're *his* daughter
now."
Ranko giggled hysterically, recalling when she took over
Ranma and pretended to be Ryoga's sister to rescue Akane(?)
from his perverted plans.
"Why not? It's sort of true. Hehehe. Okay, okay, I'll talk
to them."
"Promise you won't hit Nodoka?"
"I promised Niichan that I wouldn't strike her, but I won't
be nice."
Nabiki sighed, dropping her back into the water. She slid
open the door to leave.
"Hey, Biki-chan?" Ranko stood up, wrapping a towel around
herself.
"Hm?"
"Got any pics of Tofu-sensei?"
Nabiki paused, studying Ranko's turned face, and the blush
it held. <Oh my, to quoth my sister.>
"No, I sold all of them to Akane three years ago. She tossed
them in the trash about a year back. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, nothing ... just curious ... "
<Nothing, my eye. Looks like it's time to get some more
film.>
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga stopped and sat down. He wasn't sure where he was, but
the locale looked vaguely familiar. (Then, again, so did
most of Earth.)
It was getting late, and he should make camp for the night.
He was exhausted, anyway. What with that loon (no, duck)
Mousse trying to kill him for romancing Shampoo (which he
didn't), Shampoo calling him 'Airen' for some reason and
glomping him, and his quest to find Akane and explain
everything to her, he'd had a busy day.
He'd just made camp when he heard the voices.
" - shecret stash right here."
"Growf."
"Yeah, yer right. Whatta ya doin' here, Hibiki?"
Ryoga turned and looked into the face of a very drunk Soun
Tendo, who was holding a sake bottle in his hand. Next to
him was a wobbly panda, who held up a sign that was so
shakily written as to be illegible.
"Ya wash'nt sapposed ta come here, boy. Gotta teash you
leshon."
"Growf."
"Look, it's late, I'm tired, you're pasted, why don't I come
back later and -"
Soun took a swing at Ryoga, who didn't even bother to duck.
The blow hardly fazed him. If Soun hadn't been holding the
sake bottle in that hand, Ryoga wouldn't have noticed it.
But Soun *was* holding the sake bottle in that hand. Which
shattered on impact.
The sake-soaked piglet looked up at the two drunks.
"My sake!" Soun bellowed. The panda made a deep, threatening
growl.
As the two martial artists prepared to inflict damage on the
Hibiki piglet, Ryoga-buta sank into a deep abyss of despair.
"BUH-BWE-BWEEEEE!!!" (Translation: "Shishi Hokodan!")
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko had turned to the door of the bathroom, and so hadn't
noticed the flare of green light out the window. She shut
the door behind her, and so didn't see the two figures get
blasted through the bathroom wall.
As she trotted down the stairs after she dressed, she
couldn't help but dwell on Ranma's (and her) memories of
Nodoka - of her rage and Ranma's sorrow over her
abandonment; of Ranma's fear and guilt upon learning of the
seppuku pledge; hearing Nodoka talk in her sleep, enacting
the rites in her dreams.
When she stepped into the dining room, she was all pissed
off again.
"Good evening, Kasumi - Nabiki," she said politely.
"Koban wa, Hibiki-san," she said a bit too formally.
As she sat down at the table, Nodoka cleared her throat
daintily. "Hello, Ranko-chan," she said calmly.
"If you must address me, please address me as 'Saotome-
san'," Ranko said testily. "The 'chan' honorific implies a
degree of familiarity that, quite frankly, nauseates me."
Ranko turned to Ichiro Hibiki. "I understand you have a
question for me, Hibiki-san?"
Ranko's incredible rudeness toward Nodoka stunned Ichiro for
a moment, but he recovered quickly. "Um, yes. I understand
that you are the sister of Ranma?"
"Who is your biological son. That's correct," Ranko
confirmed. "You understand that it is not deemed necessary
by the families to inform Ranma of this fact."
"Of course," Ichiro nodded. "I understand completely. But I
was curious - "
"You're wondering if I'm your daughter, and which one of
your dalliances resulted in me?"
Ichiro chuckled. "Rather less delicate than I would have
phrased it, but accurate."
"Please understand, Hibiki-san, when I say that my
connection to Ranma-oniisan is beyond question. I ask that
you respect my privacy, and ask no more."
Ichiro nodded. "I will respect your privacy, Ranko-san. But,
if I may be so bold, it would honor me to have a daughter as
strong and beautiful as yourself."
Ranko momentarily forgot she was annoyed, and giggled,
blushing. "Arigato, Ichiro-san."
"Ranko ... san," Nodoka said softly. "I feel that we may
have gotten off on the wrong foot. I'd like to start fresh,
to forget any misunderstandings, and to perhaps be your
friend."
"Trying to salve your conscience?" Ranko said coldly,
turning to Ranma's mother. "This surprises me. I wasn't
aware you had such a thing." Ranko finished her tea and got
up. "Now that Ichiro-san's questions have been answered,
I've had a busy day, and I wish to rest before I retire."
Nodoka got up and put her hand on Ranko's shoulder. "Ranko,
can't -"
"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME, BITCH!!" Ranko screamed,
twisting Nodoka's wrist in a grip of steel.
"Ranko!" exclaimed Kasumi, her hands raised to help.
"Nodoka-chan!" exclaimed Ichiro, leaping to her defense.
Ranko released Nodoka before either of the others could get
to her. Nodoka collapsed to the floor, sobbing and
horrified.
"You want answers? Fine. Yes, you *are* my mother - and the
thought fills me with disgust! You aren't a *real* mother,
not even a proper woman! You're a misbegotten *thing* that
throws babies into the street to suffer and die! Ranma
deserves better than to have you as a mother! And I'll
suffer all the Rings of Hell before I *ever* call you
'mother'!"
Ranko turned away, hiding the tears the emotion had brought
to her eyes. "Now if you excuse me, I have to take another
bath. Your touch makes me feel dirty."
As Ranko stomped off, Nabiki took a sip of tea. "That went
well," she quipped.
"My daughter," Nodoka sobbed. "I thought she was dead. They
said she was dead ..."
"Huh??" several people exclaimed.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko didn't even bother to take off her dress as she
twisted the hot water on full blast and collapsed in the
shower stall. She rolled herself up into a ball against the
cool tile, letting the hot water trickle over her body as
she sobbed hysterically with hiccups and wails.
She felt so sick, so sick, deep inside her soul. Her heart
was completely broken; feeling it break inside her chest was
shattering to everything she had ever been. She knew
everything Ranma remembered about Nodoka, and it was all
fear, anger, and abandonment.
While Nodoka couldn't be the mother Ranma deserved, Ranko
had tried all she could to be something of a mother for him.
*She* was the one who heard him scream in his sleep. *She*
was the one who held him in dreamscape when his fears
overwhelmed him. *She* was the only one besides Akane who
*ever* loved him.
What right did Nodoka have to be his mother?! To hell with
duty and honor, when a child cries, you pick him up and
comfort him and never leave him alone with a monster.
The water became hotter, beginning to scald. <Fitting. Honor
would require me to commit suicide after dishonoring my
'mother' like I did. I'll just burn my skin off, that'll
make the bitch happy with her damned honor.>
Hands reached in and pulled her out of the shower. She
didn't fight them, being too exhausted to fight anymore.
Kasumi rolled her over and pulled her close as the young
girl continued sobbing, rocking her gently and stroking her
hair.
"Shh, Ko-chan, shh."
"Oh, God, Kasumi, why did you take me out?! I should just
flop in the gutter and die! Why the hells was I born at
all?! Ranma doesn't need me anymore and I insulted his
mother and my soul hurts - "
"Oh, dear. Please don't ever doubt why you were born, it's
like asking why does the Earth face the sun at all? You do
have a right to be angry with her, but never to hurt her as
you did."
A fresh flood of tears sheeted down her cheeks. "I'm so
sorry, Kasumi ... I'm so sorry ... This anger scares me ..."
"Did Ranma feel this anger toward Nodoka?"
"Some. He was mostly afraid and abandoned ... and that only
upset me more ... "
Kasumi held her tighter, wanting to squeeze the pain out of
her. She should have known Ko-chan despised Nodoka as much
as she did. Any woman that would allow her child to suffer
like that, then threatening his life ... any woman with true
maternal love could not let that happen.
But as a Japanese lady, she knew that duty and honor demand
sacrifice, despite what the wife and mother feels. Kasumi
learned that when she became mistress of the house after her
mother had died. Her childhood was her sacrifice.
"Ko-chan, you cannot hate her for upholding honor. If
anything, it's Genma's fault for thinking up that stupid
seppuku pledge in the first place."
"She doesn't have to rub it in," Ranko sobbed. "She could
have just refused to let him go."
The eldest Tendo daughter sighed. "You have your view of
what's right, and so does she. And you both stick to that
despite all the pain it causes you. Perhaps you really are
her daughter."
"Don't ever say that! She isn't my mother! I have no
mother!"
"But, Ko-chan ... Ranma *did* have a twin sister. She was
stillborn. Nodoka spoke of it after you left."
Ranko was silent, uncertain how to respond.
Kasumi continued; "It's said that the souls of children who
die unborn wander the world, alone and forlorn. It's not
unlikely that one would wander near Jusenkyo while Ranma was
there, perhaps even watching over him ... as you've always
done since you were 'born'."
Ranko wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked
up at Kasumi's sad face. She blinked for several moments,
letting it sink in. Then she lay her head on her friend's
shoulder and sang in a cracked voice, "'Tell me is it just a
dream ... or is it really real?'"
"You should go to bed and get some rest, Ko-chan. What shall
I tell them?"
Ranko sniffed, rubbing her eyes. "I have to think about
everything. I do apologize for hurting her hand."
"But what about being Nodoka's daughter?"
"Kasumi, I don't know!" her breathing became ragged, overrun
with emotion. "She doesn't listen and she's made no apology
to Ranma for what she's done.
"Genma, I can understand *him* being a creep because he is,
I've known him too long to expect anything else. But when
Ranma and I first met Nodoka, I expected to be kinder, more
reasonable, and I find her trying to *kill* my Niichan due
to some twisted view of manhood! How can she stand it?! How
can she live with herself?!"
"Perhaps she has a different viewpoint?" Kasumi offered.
"Have you seen her go through the motions of seppuku *in her
sleep*?! Do you have any idea how horrifying that is?"
Kasumi hugged her tightly, stroking her wet bangs back.
"Little Ko-chan, just give her a chance to explain her point
of view. I'm sure you'll understand her better once you do.
I don't like what she's done, but I'm sure she isn't the
monster you believe her to be."
Ranko took a deep breath. "Please let me think about it."
"All the time you need," Kasumi replied softly.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga-buta ran around the yard, trying to find the spot
where he'd pitched his tent just a few minutes ago. He
figured he must be in Nerima (since he ran into Soun and
Genma), but that didn't help him. He wandered near a porch,
hoping to find something familiar.
He didn't see the hands that picked him up.
He twisted around to see who had him ...
"BWEEE!!!"
Ryoga-buta squealed and twisted, trying to get out of
Nabiki's grasp. He had no idea what awaited him - beating,
neutering, being sold to a pet shop - or a butcher shop ...
She carried him into the house. There, around the table, was
a woman Ryoga thought was familiar but couldn't place ...
and his *FATHER*!!
Ryoga stopped struggling, awaiting his fate.
"Looky what I found!" Nabiki said.
Nodoka and Ichiro watched as Nabiki held the piglet at arm's
length, pulled out a kettle of water (always handy to have
in Nerima), and poured the hot water on the piglet.
The naked, damp young man looked up guiltily at his father.
"Hi, dad," he said meekly.
* * * * * * * * * *
The doctor did the last katas before he retired for the
evening, letting the Tai Chi motions relax and balance him.
Then he set the spiritual wards around his bedroom to
prevent unwanted sleeptime visitors.
A knock sounded on the clinic door. Few people would knock
on the clinic door at night unless it was an emergency; he
dashed downstairs, grabbing his bag as he went.
He opened the door and found Ranko Saotome there, a
trenchcoat pulled close to her body. "Ranko-chan!" he said
in surprise. "Koban wa. Is there something the matter?"
"Yes," she said. Without explanation, she stepped in and
closed the door. "You have to help me, Tofu-sensei."
Tofu got worried; Ranko was being very emotional. "Of
course, dear. Anything I can do to help. Sit down, and
tell me what the problem is?"
Tofu and Ranko sat down, but Ranko got up and began pacing
the room nervously. "Tofu-sensei ... am I a woman? A *real*
woman?"
"Of course you are, Ranko-chan."
"No, I'm not," she protested. "Not really."
"Yes, you are!" he insisted.
Ranko turned to him and let her trenchcoat open and fall to
the floor, revealing her gloriously naked body. "Then prove
it."
"Wha ..??" Tofu said wittingly.
"Make me a woman, Ono-sama," Ranko said huskily, climbing
into his lap, straddling him. "Make me a real woman."
Tofu was paralyzed as Ranko's arms wrapped around him, her
fragrant hair filling his vision, her full breasts pressing
against his chest, her powerful legs pinning his thighs. She
pulled him off the chair, toward the floor ...
Tofu fell out of bed, hitting the floor with a yelp. It took
him a few seconds to shake the last traces of the dream from
his head.
"Damned subconscious!" he mumbled. "Go a few years without a
date, and *this* happens!"
Grumbling at his own weakness, he headed to the bath for a
cold shower.
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To Be Continued ...