Yeah, yeah, yeah... but I had to do it.
"Mork calling Orson, come in Orson..."
The guest room of the Tendou household faded away,
replaced with an empty black space. Mork was in his
space suit, standing with his hands behind his back.
"Mork calling Orson, are you there, oh Dirigible of
Doom?"
"Yes, I'm here, Mork. What have you learned this
week?" boomed the deep, bass voice from nowhere.
"Well, Orson, I learned just how much of an idiot
my second son, Genma, is." He reached behind his back,
and pulled out a sign that had the kanji for 'baka' on
it.
"That's the son you had the Human way, right?"
"Yes, oh Lard-iforous One. Not only did he toss my
grandson in a pit of starving cats with fish sausages
tied around him, he didn't even give him a magazine to
read while down there." Tossing the sign away, Mork
pulled out a small tabby from behind his back. "Now,
Ranma goes crazy when exposed to cats."
"Goes crazy? What do you mean?"
"He starts acting like a cat. Orson, while that's
not unusual for us, most humans just don't do that. The
big problem is that when he thinks he's a cat, he uses
the Bleefle-gorp."
"The Bleefle-gorp? By Ork, how does he not explode
when using it?" asked Orson.
"I don't know. But he does. And it takes one of his
three fiancees to calm him down, the one called Akane."
Mork tossed the cat aside, who seemed to land in mid-air,
and walk away.
"Didn't you tell me that humans only have one fiancee,
who metamorphs into a spouse?"
"Yes, but Genma was an idiot, and engaged him to
two girls, while a third attached herself to him. And the
only ones that metamorphs are Genma and Ranma." He reached
behind his back, and pulled out an easel and pad. "Genma
turns into something that looks like a cross between a
Morgengoggle and a teddy bear, and is almost as large as
your Immensitude, while Ranma changes gender."
"You mean he flies to Sweden?" asked Orson.
"No, water is involved, somehow. Anyway, it takes
this Akane to get him out of the Bleefle-gorp. None of the
others can do it."
"Why?"
Mork shrugged. "Who can say. All I know is I expect
Ranma to be laying his eggs within the year." He struck
a dramatic pose. "This is Mork, signing off. See you later,
oh Tubby Titan."
=====
- Valandar the Red of the Empty Tankard
Captain of the Guard of the Barony of the Far Woods
Empire of the Iron Mountains
http://members.tripod.com/~Valandar/fanfic.html
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