Featherbrite's Tale CHAPTER TEN:
Ukyo's Terrible Vengeance, OR
Hello Kitty
gregg sharp, metroanime@mindspring.com
Ranma 1/2 owned by Viz Video & Takahashi Rumiko. Various
other characters owned by various other authors. No
copyright infringement is intended. The following is a
non-professional work for the purpose of entertainment only.
Anyone thinking otherwise has obviously been hitting the
faerie dust. If you still feel the need to flame or get
critical on me, be sure to send those to the Akane Mailing
List. Venting is good for the soul sometimes. Lord knows i
need to on occasion...
"If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little bit above
it." -H.W. Longfellow
"Anybody who has read of Quantum Physics, and not been
confused by it, has clearly not understood the material in
question." -S.Hawking
"Go not to the elves for answer, for they will say both no
and yes." -JRR Tolkein
=============================
Nabiki entered the restaurant. The scene before her was
pretty much what she had expected, except that she didn't
see Shampoo anywhere.
Ranma-chan, wearing a waitress outfit, was weaving in
between the crowded tables with an occasional dark
muttering. She was carrying two large trays loaded with
okonomiyaki.
Kasumi, dressed in a demure blue kimono, was acting as "tea
lady" and the scent of a rich blend followed her as she
likewise wove among the tables.
There was some boy that Nabiki didn't recognize behind the
counter, speedily cranking out the little "Japanese pizzas"
with obvious skill.
The place was packed. Mainly students of various ages from
what Nabiki could see. A fair number of girls, but well over
half were boys.
Nabiki also noted a fair number of girls had dreamy
expressions and were looking at the okonomiyaki chef.
Similar dreamy expressions from boys were directed towards
her sister Kasumi (who seemed completely oblivious to this,
and knowing her sister- Nabiki KNEW that appearances were
not deceiving in this instance) while the looks towards the
cute redhaired waitress tended to focus more in on various
parts of her anatomy.
"I'll be with you in a... oh crud," Ranma managed, her eyes
tracking three pixies as the faerie started checking the
place out. She quite obviously had been distracted enough
that she hadn't recognized the individual walking in.
Nabiki smirked, confident that her "somebody else's
problem" spell was working. Now she could quietly observe
and determine what the situation was like before they knew
she was here. With one finger touching the Book, she quickly
did a Clairaudience spell.
"Damn, I wish Shampoo was here," muttered Ranma to Kasumi
as the two crossed paths. "We could really use a hand,
*especially* with *those* here."
"What are they?"
"They're pixies. One's a frost pixie, one's a earth sprite,
and the third's a spark or flame pixie. Not much on power by
themselves. Double crud."
"Ranma-chan, your language."
"Sorry, Kasumi. Check over there. There's a fourth one. A
spell group with four elements represented. AND that girl
that just came in has some sort of Illusion wrapped around
her. Looks like one of the local mages got curious."
"Oh, that's just Nabiki. She enjoys being sneaky. Let her
have her fun."
Nabiki's face fell as she mentally scrambled for the
threads of the spell surrounding her. They were intact! How
did Kasumi know?!
"Oh," Ranma caught three thrown okonomiyaki and spun the
plates into place before the appropriate customers, "that's
troubling. Does she do this a lot?"
"Why yes, in fact, remind me to tell you about the time she
was at Tokyo Disneyland and..."
Nabiki betrayed her identity with a startled squawk. Kasumi
was going to tell RANMA about the time she had snuck off on
a trip to Disneyland, only to find that warm and fuzzy did
*not* describe the lawyers or security forces employed by
Disney. ESPECIALLY after some youths had apparently gone off
and beaten the snot out of Mickey. She'd been eight years
old and quite terrified by the incident. (And when Daddy had
come attacking the people threatening his little girl,
(actually at that point they were trying to calm her down
since she obviously *wasn't* one of the thugs) the sight of
her Daddy the bigshot martial artist being beaten into the
floor by Goofy and Cinderella had pretty much caused her to
abandon the martial arts herself.) (2)
Nabiki winced a little as the two moved away from each
other and her Clairaudience spell instead picked up two
customers discussing whether the chef behind the counter was
*doing* both waitresses. This wasn't as much cause for the
wince as the detail the two customers were working out for
the mechanics of such an arrangement. That at least one
person would likely suffocate in such an arrangement seemed
likely. Even worse was that there was a pixie hanging over
the two's table taking notes.
The jukebox started playing one of those songs that had
been translated over from English into Japanese. Nabiki
blinked and wondered why the place had *two* jukeboxes
anyway...
Well, Tokyo girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And Kansai girls, with the way they talk
They knock me out when I'm down there
The Toyama farmer's daughters
Really make you feel all right
And those Hokkaido girls, with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night
{Refrain}
I wish you all could be Kawa-ii girls
Wish you all could be Kawa-ii
I wish you all could be Kawa-ii girls
Nabiki looked over the place. Obviously a rental property
with little or no room for tweaking. No indication of
permanence or individual personality except for the second
jukebox. Hmmm. There were three of those pixies hanging
around the one that wasn't playing, as if they had found
something *interesting* there. Nabiki shifted her
Clairaudience towards them but wasn't able to get anything
through the music.
Japan has the rising sunshine
And the girls all get so sweet
I dig a seifuku on the shy island girls
They're the kind I like to meet.
I been all around this great big world
And I seen all kind of girls
Yeah, but I couldn't wait to get back to here
Back to the cutest girls in the world.
Nabiki grimaced at this version of the Beach Boys'
"California Girls" and wondered how long it would be before
it found its way into a commercial. If "Daydream Believer"
could be used to sell Ramen, why not this?
"Tea, Nabiki?"
Nabiki blinked and realized that Kasumi was smiling down at
her with tea tray in hand. "Uhm, sure, Kasumi."
The music ended and Nabiki realized that the faerie were
talking about doing a quick enchantment on the jukebox.
Maybe there was something wrong with the Clairaudience
spell, though. It sounded like they were saying the second
jukebox was a guy disguised as a girl disguised as a
jukebox? What the faerie were arguing about was whether they
should turn the guy into a girl or into a jukebox, thereby
making him happy.
Nabiki shrugged it off but Kasumi had already gone on to
the next table.
"Would you like to order, Miss?" Ranma blinked at Nabiki,
unable to keep a slight smile off her face.
Nabiki found herself smiling back before she forcibly
resumed the Ice Queen role. "Yes, I think a shrimp
okonomiyaki with the spicy sauce will do."
"Right away, ma'am."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow at that. So Ranma was willing to
go along with the deception, even though Kasumi had just
told her that this new customer was an Alter Self illusion
over his iinazuke? Just because Kasumi had told Ranma that
Nabiki enjoyed it?
Nabiki smirked as Ranma dropped off the order and went to
the next table. Well, this might be some entertainment at
that.
----------
To say that Oberon and Titania did not get along would be
rather like saying that Belldandy tends to be polite or that
space is big. The two would infrequently reconcile, but then
things tended to blow up before very long. Hera and Zeus,
for example, were the very example of domestic bliss when
compared to Oberon and Titania.
Oberon *did* tend to keep tabs on things, and was therefore
interested when all the dimensional comings-and-goings
failed to rouse his estranged wife from her Citadel. With
Ravenshart out of the action, he had to use other spies, but
that was something he had in number.
The report from Shadoweye was something that Oberon found
*very* intriguing. His wife, the Queen of the Seelie Court,
had found a new game.
(It has been said before that with lifespans of even mere
hundreds of years, boredom becomes a torture as foul as
anything found within the Twisted Palace. Oberon had existed
for several hundred thousand years. He wasn't the "oldest of
all old things" but it was still a fairly respectable
lifespan for an adolescent. This last, and a record of
trysts that would have made the aforementioned Zeus jealous,
had pretty much formed Oberon's current cure for his ennui.)
The faerie had been around for a very long time, but there
were things far older than them. One was a fellow named Puck
who had briefly been within Oberon's service for the chance
to sow mischief. This brief service had lasted about seven
hundred mortal years, and had ended when Puck had decided
that Oberon was more interested in chaos than mischief. To
Puck, aka Robin Goodfellow, there was a considerable amount
of difference between mischief and chaos.(1)
Titania had spent some time with Puck recently, and
apparently had learned of Alternate Universes from that
mischievous being.
Up until this revelation, Oberon and Titania had played
only with Three Worlds, though they knew of others. The
Faerie Realm was their home, the Mortal Realm a lower energy
world where inherent faerie abilities were great powers, and
finally the lands of Makai- a land of demons and dark beings
(though they'd gotten rather civilized of late and weren't
nearly as much fun as they'd used to be).
Other mortal planes got Oberon to thinking, and he started
looking at the possibilities therein. Magical energies got
his attention, and he noted that his Princess existed on one
of those other planes. He cast his mind's eye on these other
realities and found amusement.
Here, the one known as Ranma was a powerful mage, and
married to the Aesir goddess of love!
Here, another version of Ranma walked worlds with ease and
had powerful allies.
Here, in a universe with a faster time rate, yet another
Ranma had married a girl named Akane Tendo and fathered a
child named Ranko. Now it was the *daughter* who adventured
(mainly because her home life was such a *hell* that just
about any excuse to get away was welcomed) and crossed
planar boundaries.
Oberon's gaze was stopped as a black cat crossed his path.
"Puck."
"Nowadays it's Toltiir," acknowledged the currently feline
Elder. "Don't go any further, old friend. Some of these
realities have guardians, and many would not hesitate to
strike you down."
Oberon considered as the image of the Elder faded. He had
forces aplenty. He would concentrate on *this* Realm, for
now, but sending a highly placed UnSeelie Lord in to stir
things up (and possibly net him one of these *other* Ranmas)
seemed well within his current abilities.
Oberon smirked. Why, he might even start a collection.
---------------
F'nor grumbled about leaving his forge for any length of
time and handed the locator to Holly. The driad Holly was
rather (ahem) busy with a certain samurai lad from Nerima,
and contacted a selkie named Wavefire. Wavefire being not
particularly interested in going after a girl when she was
hoping to spot an unattached guy in these proceedings,
handed off the task to her bridge partner -a frequently
tipsy fruit bat named Bartholomouse (often shortened to Bat
for obvious reasons.) Bartholomouse having a power level
barely sufficient to cast a "Detect Alcoholic Beverages,
Type & Quality 120' radius" spell quickly found that he
couldn't possibly handle a quest by himself. So Bat tried to
pass it off to a korred (who was busy trying to get a Copy
Text spell scroll and couldn't be bothered), an oriad (who
would have *loved* to help but as oriads were weakened by
water couldn't go near that Jusenkyo place), and finally
(with some trepidation) a satyr whose name cannot be
mentioned in polite company.
Fortunately for many, this satyr usually was referred to by
the nickname of H.Bopp. Also fortunately, while he had the
usual satyr limitation of an attention span that couldn't
cover a large puddle, Bopp was "into" his Art. In his case,
he was a rare sort of spellcaster among the Faerie. A
SpellSinger. One whose words and music shaped the raw power
of Faerie Magic into effects that could go beyond normal
spellcraft. If it could be controlled, that is.
Which was one of the major reasons that Bat had been
reluctant to bother the satyr, but the remainder of
individuals he could contact either didn't have the power,
or were busy with other repercussions of this mortal Quest.
Bat approached the place with some anxiety but bravely put
off imbibing his usual fermented fruit mash in order to try
to deal with this bizarre individual. Into the perpetually
darkened lair of the satyr, Bat trembled.
Satyrs, you see, were quite different in many respects from
nymphs. Nymphs came in many varieties: driads of the wood,
oriads of the earth, naiads of the waters, and sylphs of the
air being the most common. Satyrs, on the other hand, came
in one variety. Nymphs were female. Satyrs were male. Nymphs
tended to be a bit flighty and bumbling, perpetually stuck
in what a human would consider a "scatterbrained adolescent"
mode. If they ever discovered shopping malls, well, it
wouldn't be pretty. Satyrs tend to be wild party animals who
hung around in the woods. A satyr typically didn't think
much beyond food, frolic, music (usually as part of the
frolic category), and planning on more frolicking.
In both cases there were exceptions. Then there were even
more who were, quite frankly, odd even by the standards of
Faerie.
"Misster Bopp?" Bat asked into the darkened lair.
The sound of bongos could be heard from within the cave.
"Ah, the bat creeps in, lurking in shadow, a question to
ask, without or within?"
"Actually I need transsssport to the Mortal Realm." When
there was no further reply, Bat cleared his throat and tried
again. "So, uhm, if posssible, could you send me to the
location on this tracker?"
"Yo, daddy-o, I can feel the groove, you've got to move.
Might I inquire, this circumstance dire?"
Bat worked it out and wished he could deal with *someone* a
little less freaky. He made an effort to stop hissing his
's's. "Uhm yes, well one of the Sailor Starriors is in some
sort of trouble, we think it was an UnSeelie transformation
magic..."
H.Bopp moved out of the shadows taking a drag on some
cigarette and sending a plume of chartreuse smoke out a
moment later. "Ah, these questing mortals all amuck, you
suppose any would like to ..."
"NO!" Bat cut off the satyr. "I don't think so. Don't go
*there*."
Another plume of smoke, plaid this time. "Don't get your
nerves all a'jangling, man, H. Bopp has got ya, it's part of
the plan. You're setting before me an awesome hard task, and
it don't hurt if'n I should ask."
"Depends on *who* you ask, I suppose. Can you do it?"
H.Bopp shifted his beret forward and tapped thoughtfully on
his bongos. "To open some Gate to a maiden fair, sure- I'll
do the task, if you show me where."
Bat looked over the getup. Beret, dark eye-covering of some
odd material, skintight black shirt, loose fitting black
shorts. "What's with the odd clothing, I thought satyrs
typically ran around 'in natural fashion.'"
H. Bopp let out another cloud, this one forming a pink
Moebius loop. "Can I help that my funky forest brethren,
haven't scoped to Ma Nature's plan? Colors are part of the
courtship rites, and frankly I look good in tights."
Bat worked it out, the clothing was to intice females. THAT
was certainly keeping in satyr nature, at least. "Well, that
explains the shirt. Why bongos?"
"It's tres cool, little bat, I can tell from where you're
at. Years ago I a sang a tune, an ancient song of drum and
rune. And to these eyes there came a vision, from Mortal
Plane with great precision. A smoky den appeared to me,
dimly lit by candles three. Where poets with drums just like
these, weaved their rhymes, ate wine and cheese. Inspiration
had come calling, and now I found undress appalling. And so
I moved to emulate, these philosophers of notions great."
Bat translated this to mean that the satyr had gotten a
spell wrong, gotten a vision of something on the mortal
plane, and "imprinted" on it. It happened with a lot of the
lesser faerie, they ran into a concept or idea and it
consumed them for a few centuries. Fortunately there wasn't
much traffic with the mortal plane or who *knew* what kind
of nonsense the pixies would get involved in.
-------------
Ranma awoke from a horrible nightmare in which someone had
thrown Shampoo into "Spring Of Drowned Sanrio Character" and
emerged as "Hello Kitty." Shuddering, and wondering what
*that* meant (other than he should *not* eat squid
okonomiyaki just before bedtime), Ranma slowly made his way
downstairs.
He was careful not to wake Nabiki, as through a vagary of
Fate, she had ended up bunking in his room. Ranma's father
would have been delighted that "Operation Shacking Up" was
more or less proceeding even with the distance between the
instigators and the participants. And so the current
arrangement was that Ukyo and Kasumi shared one room, while
Ranma and Nabiki shared the other.
Ranma passed several passed out pixies, as apparently the
various faerie had gone about a sort-of slumber party after
the restaurant had been closed.
The sometimes-sylph didn't need a rumble of thunder to know
that this was ominous.
Pixies weren't that bad, intentionally. Featherbrite
herself had been hanging around humankind for years, and so
could *mainly* act within human limitations/guidelines.
------------
Shampoo continued to run, her mind stepping down from
Fullblown Panic as she realized the two girls from the
Herbal Village were somewhere far behind her. As the
adrenalin left her, so did consciousness, and the little
pink kitty-cat hit the ground.
"Well, that's her."
"Sorry, little dude, don't mean to be crude. But I thought
I saw a putty-kat, and I's afraid my tastes don't run to
that."
Bat grumbled. Now that they were *away* from Jusenkyo, the
oriad Nicki could have intervened. Normal streams didn't
give her as much problem as magical waters, though they were
still inconvenient. "She's been transformed into a cat by
Jusenkyo, normally she's Sailor Amazon."
"Righteous," said H. Bopp with a grin. "But afraid my juice
ain't enough to reverse, some ancient feline 'Jusenkyo'
curse. It might if I knew the proper song, but for now she's
just gonna have to get along."
"Got anything for endurance? Maybe I can fly her back
home." Bat thought it likely. He was four feet tall and a
good flyer. (Lousy at landings but he had the flying part
down pretty well.) He could easily carry a housecat for
hours at a time.
"Sorry little man, but I gotta plan. The trick is to get
her back with her guy, and I gotta way that I jus' gotta
try." H. Bopp started playing his bongos softly, building up
magic.
Bat, being relatively sensible for a human serf enchanted
to his current form 700 years previously, ducked and
covered. SpellSinging was a form of magic where control was
often conspicuous by abscence.
Still, this largely seemed to be working. An ancient song,
in High Elvish no less, of one who was far from her lover
and longed to return.
Then Bat looked at the subject of the spell and decided to
find some fermented cider a bit later. *THIS* would require
a few extra shots of the high grade stuff.
At this point, Rink & Pink investigated the odd lighting
and were reunited with their lost cat.
---------------
Tsubasa Kurenai woke, feeling an odd taste in his mouth. He
was aware that *something* had happened, but wasn't sure of
all the details. He'd been spying on his beloved Ukyo in the
clever guise of a jukebox, trying to make sure that those
evil women weren't there to tempt his dearest.
Actually it was odd, he couldn't remember coming home. He
couldn't remember putting on this powder blue nightie. He
couldn't remember anything after the *real* jukebox had
started playing that "California Girls" song.
Tsubasa stumbled down the narrow stairs and entered the
bathroom.
Twenty five seconds later, he screamed in the manner of a
lost soul.
Whimpering, he leaned against the bathroom wall and slid
down to a seated position. He continued to whimper as the
evidence remained (or didn't) of the Something Terrible that
had occurred.
He didn't have the nerve to find out what the coin slot
did.
-----------
Shampoo shot out of the gateway, landing on her feet, and
racing her little feline body as fast as it could go! That
holes don't normally open in midair was ignored, so long as
it was AWAY from the two girls.
Rink came through a second later, holding a large bottle of
Formula 140 shampoo in one hand. Pink joined her a second
later, still trying to hold off the two monsters.
Finally a bongo playing satyr and an overlarge fruit bat
stepped onto the roof and took in the sight of the fleeing
cat and two pursuing girls.
"Bad karma, don'cha know. Follows everywhere you go." H.
Bopp tapped his bongos one last time, and the gateway
closed.
"I thought that mortals couldn't see faerie within their
world," Bat commented. "Those two saw us without any
apparent problem."
"The magic of my song, that's where it all went wrong. In
the glow of mystic light, shown we are in mortal sight." H.
Bopp shook his head. "Later dude, I must confess, this
surely is one horrid mess. From Faerie Realm, I'll check
this out, it's interesting without a doubt."
"Hmmmph. I don't think," said Bat after a minute, "that *I*
want to stay here either. No woods, no orchards, not much of
anything. Maybe I can get Nicki to check further, she's
human-looking enough that she'll fit in around here.(3)"
----------------
Zed was in his element. He was grooving. He was rocking.
Zed was, in fact, happier than he'd been in almost 100,000
years.
"But why?" Smedley asked, proving that he had no clue.
"Patterns, O Master Of Goblins. Patterns are *always*
important. One simply *must* observe the proper forms."
"That's why you look like a High Elf in some sort of
silvery jumpsuit with shoulder pads and a black cape? I
don't get it. I just don't get it." Smedley thought that he
needed a drink or two and this *still* wouldn't make any
sense.
"THIS is an official Dark Kingdom General Uniform. Modified
slightly, of course." Zed indicated the bodysuit he was
wearing with a gesture. "You know that there was some
problem with the ones depicted in those magazines."
"Yeah, they were all tight in the crotch." Smedley
considered the possibility of the first "Dark Kingdom"
invasion occurring in the Suntory Brewery facilities. Hmmm.
How to engineer such a mistake...
"No, they lacked suitable *style* for the UnSeelie Court."
Zed shook his head, believing that Smedley just couldn't get
it.
"Oh, so when do we go capture His Majesty's new concubine,
anyway?" Go in, grab the girl, grab whatever alcoholic
beverages they could, and zip back.
"Patience, Smedley. Patience. First we must set the mood.
Ravenhart is even now securing mortal shells to use in our
campaign. THEN we shall make a few appearances, to terrify
the populace- cutting off the support these pawns of the
Seelie might get from them. I'll let you choose the first
such target, keep in mind that it must be high profile
enough to be widely publicized!"
Smedley grinned, having an entirely new liking for Zed.
Especially as he'd just run across an ad for a place with
the wonderfully seductive name of a "beergarden" in one of
these Lupin III magazines. Sounded like a good first target
to him!
Zed didn't notice as he was picturing the details of his
plan falling into place. "With such instances we'll then
appear within their area and THEY will come to us! We'll hit
this Tokyo Tower thing, it's some sort of villain tradition
to menace it. Maybe I'll turn it into Cheese Whiz or
something to be different."
Smedley nodded. Most faerie had a problem with metal and
cold iron specifically. Zed was one of a handful whose
weaknesses were entirely different.
"THEN we allow them to think we're being beaten when
WHAMMO! We strike suddenly, capture the Princess, and we're
back here toasting our success!" Zed smirked at the vision
before him.
Smedley allowed that it *might* work. He didn't
particularly care, as long as he got to sample whatever
improvements those mortals had developed in their brewing
skills.
He remembered that mortals could be *quite* clever under
the right circumstances.
-----------
"There are two centers for these heroes," Ravenhart said to
his new subordinates through his puppet. "One in Osaka. The
other here in Tokyo. Reports indicate that the ones in Tokyo
are Sailors White, Red, and Rose. The Sailors in Osaka are
Pixie, Angel, and Valkyrie. We aren't sure what happened to
Sailor Amazon. She may have been injured in your attack on
that restaurant.
"None of them are as important as the Princess. The capture
of the Princess is the overriding priority here." Isao's
unblinking stare swept the group of Yakuza thugs. "We aren't
sure *which* of the various Sailors is actually the
Princess, only that it is not Sailor Amazon.
"We are going to try for a series of quick strikes in order
to draw out the Princess. If possible *capture* any of the
Sailors that show and we can then determine which is
actually the one we seek.
"Those who wish to gain power to better combat the Sailors
and later use them to further your own ambitions form a line
behind the white rope. By joining that line, you are
signifying your acceptance of the... stop pushing, there's
room for all of you. Thank you, you will be signifying your
acceptance of any inconsequential side effects that may
occur. Yes, yes, go right ahead. Certainly you can change
your mind later, but I doubt any of you will."
-----------
"What was that girl yelling about, anyway, Ukyo?"
"That was Tsubasa. I'm not sure, probably just trying to
fondle me again."
"Oh. And first that skeleton-thingie, then the flying
snake, then that water elemental. I never knew Osaka was
so... lively." Ranma looked at the group and sighed as he
*finally* got to turn back into a guy after a hard evening
as a waitress.
"They were looking for someone, sugar, and we all think we
know it's you that they're after. Why, I don't know."
"Whoever this 'Dark Kingdom' is - they've adopted the same
modus operandi as the villains of the manga Takeuchi-san
used. Various youma attacking people. Differences are that
they aren't going after 'life energy' so much as just
creating havoc." Nabiki tapped her pencil against the
countertop, wondering at the similarities.
"And stealing 96 cases of beer," pointed out Ukyo.
Then again, realized Nabiki, there *were* some significant
divergences. "Nonetheless, in the various manga I've read,
the central character is the one that serves to shake the
others out of their normal lives."
Ranma sweatdropped as everyone's gaze locked onto him. He
lowered the teakettle with a wince. "Uhm... sorry?"
"In *all* of the manga," Nabiki exaggerated, "the central
character is the one that the various bad guys are after."
"Uhm..." Ranma repeated.
"In any case, they have other objectives, but one of their
priorities is *always* finding and going after the central
character." Nabiki smirked, more than happy not to be the
primary target. She wasn't even a Sailor Starrior so she
wasn't a *secondary* target. And with the ley lines nearby,
she could draw additional power for spells. "As you are
likely a primary target, that *does* bring another matter to
consideration."
"You still need to consider a disguise, Ranma." Kasumi
indicated what she had been sewing, which was her *own* idea
of what Ranma's costume should be.
"I am *not* wearing a seifuku. No. No way. No how. Uh uh."
Kasumi held up a leotard with a short skirt. "But it would
look so cute on you!"
"No. Not a chance!"
"An 'Instant Change' spell doesn't take much effort,
actually," said Featherbrite with a thoughtful expression.
"Mages use them all the time so they can go from their labs
to a formal Court appearance with as little fuss as
possible."
"Not me. No teeny tiny short skirt. No tight little spandex
bathing suit. No."
"Technically," said Nabiki from where she was filling out
school application forms, "it isn't spandex. It's lycra."
"Not this Ranma. Uh uh. No seifuku, no sailor suit, not
even on a dare!"
"Oh dear," Kasumi said with a sigh. And she'd thought the
two toned green and gold would have *so* accentuated
Ranma-chan's hair. Well, at least she hadn't gotten around
to making the tiara.
<SPLASH!>
"WHAT YA DO THAT FOR!"
Crystalynn just giggled and the earth sprite set the bucket
down.
"She wanted to get your measurements," advised Ember. The
spark pixie was sitting on the hot grill near a cooking
okonomiyaki and enjoying the radiant heat enormously.
Ranma shook water out of her hair. "NO WAY!! UH UH! It
*ain't* happening! There's NO WAY you are gunna get *ME*
into some STUPID SHORT SKIRTED FUKU!!!"
Ukyo realized that revenge could have many forms. "But
Ranma, we are doing this to *hide* our identities! No one
would know it was you."
Kasumi looked up from her medical texts again to regard the
redhaired girl. "But Ranma, if you don't wear one how are
you going to fight? Those criminals would find you if you
were in the news without a disguise."
"Still ain't NO way I'm wearing one of those stupid things!
Think of something else!"
Ukyo had learned enough about faerie that she turned her
next comments to Featherbrite and the other four pixies.
"He's got to have *some* disguise, or we'll all get exposed
as Scouts through association!"
Kasumi tried to be reasonable. "Please, Ranma. Won't you
reconsider? After all, if what the faerie are saying about
this 'pattern' is true - most of the fighting will center
around you. It would help if you were able to participate."
"I ain't never said I don't want ta fight. I only said you
ain't NEVER getting *ME* inside of a fuku!"
Kasumi and Ukyo both looked helplessly to Featherbrite.
Featherbrite made sure that Ranma couldn't see her grin but
the other pixies *could.* She was Ranma's friend, but that
didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun here.
"So you don't want a fuku?" Featherbrite mostly managed to
keep the mischief from her voice.
"That's what I keep SAYING!!" Ranma was so vexed about
being 'Sailor Pixie' that he didn't notice the slight give
in Featherbrite's voice.
"Okay, there's *still* a way that we can fit you in, get
you in diguise, let you fight, and not disrupt the pattern."
Featherbrite winked. Nabiki hid her smirk and decided that
this would be a *lot* more interesting than filling out some
forms.
"Really?" Ranma had a sudden image of himself in some kind
of formal wear combined with a martial arts outfit. Heh.
That could be cool.
"Yup! It takes alot of power, so I couldn't reverse it. But
you'd be able to fight and never have to fear about your
identity *or* wear a fuku." Featherbrite was serious. The
change of clothing wasn't that bad, but keying in the extra
protection and identity scrambling spells and linking it to
the transformed state was difficult. Took a lot more power
than *she* had, especially to fool cameras and the like. And
maybe they could link in some powers too.
"Well what are ya *waiting* for!? Let's do it! I can't wait
ta get ta stop the bad guys with the rest of you! All this
sidelines crap was getting annoying."
"Okay, I'll need energy from the two of you to help me."
Kasumi nodded and held her hands out, the ghostly image of
a tree appeared, then vast feathered wings slowly faded into
being. When they had unfurled completely, they shrank and
Sailor Angel now stood where Kasumi had been.
Ukyo spun her large spatula around in her hands, lightning
flaring around her. When the lightning had finished, Sailor
Valkyrie took her place next to Sailor Angel.
"You four. I'll need your assistance as well." Featherbrite
knew the others would be eager to be in on this.
Kasumi and Ukyo both started concentrating, as four pixies
added their own spells to the mix.
Featherbrite started glowing like a miniature star. "Okay
Ranma! Transform!"
Ranma eagerly thrust her fist in the air, an image of the
dashing and heroic martial arts hero that she could
become."Star Kingdom Power!!!" She blinked. Wait a minute,
shouldn't she turn back into a guy first?
Ranma spun around in midair, eyes closed, which was a good
thing as she missed all the pink hearts and and glowing
lights that would *really* have caused Ranma's male
self-image some problems.
Coming down to rest, Ranma looked down at herself and
summed the situation up quite well. "AACKKKKK!!!!"
"Not bad, Ranma," said Nabiki, snapping a quick series of
pictures to sell to Takeuchi-san later.
"Oh my, Ranma. You look so *cute* in that!"
"Ack!"
"Shows off your legs pretty well, Ranchan. Accentuates your
waist and bustline too."
"Eep! Ack!" <THUD!>
"Don't worry, you'll get the hang of wearing high heels.
Though the train on that outfit's a bit long, don't you
think?" Nabiki was being supportive. Well, mainly.
"WHAT KIND OF GET-UP IS THIS?!"
"Beautiful Faerie Princess Ranma," said Ember with a nod.
"Perfect."
"ACK!" Sailor Pixie didn't sound nearly so bad at that
moment.
(1) Another, of course, is Nathan Brazil. There are also a
few other Beings who could have been around roughly 13
billion years ago to watch the current Universe being born.
Any rumors that Kami-sama created the Universe just so that
Toltiir could go bother someone *else* remain
unsubstantiated. It would explain a few things, though.
(2) The actor wearing the Mickey Mouse suit recovered by the
end of the week. The boy wearing the Goofy suit was a 4th
dan black belt equivelant in the Cotton Fist, while the
Cinderella costume was worn by a lovely young girl named
Seira Tsuyuzaki who just happened to be 2nd dan in cosplay
martial arts. And yes, watching Cinderella beating up your
father would probably be a traumatizing event.
(3) A six foot tall silver-skinned supermodel is going to go
unnoticed in Osaka. Bat's wrong. Again. What, you thought
only Akane was wrong in this story?! Bwahahahahaha! <thunk>
Itai... heehee. (Yes, this accusation was actually leveled
at me.) Ahem, well, in this fic at least nearly every
character is wrong at least once, and most are wrong a great
deal more. It's realistic, at least in my experience.
Of course, i'm (ahem) quite aware that my opinion is not
nearly as important as some others, who don't make mistakes,
have no preferences or prejudices, and are incapable of
showing favoritism in their stories. But then i make no
pretensions at such lofty standards. If you enjoyed, then
that's good enough for me.
-----------------------------------------
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mail: metroanime@mindspring.com
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-Nicolas Malebranche