On Sun, 31 Oct 1999, Jerico Mele wrote:
Sorry this took a while, but better late than never.
< The full reality of this finally sank in. Sex. The sex talk. The
talk he had assumed he would never get. And...his father was
actually doing something fatherly for the first time in Shinji's
memory. He resolved he would do his best to be a good son and not
embarass his father any more than was almost certainly inevitable.
He'd never seen his father so hesitant before. "Okay." >
Well, you did it. You finally made Children of an Elder God too weird
for me to read anymore.
[On a serious note, this scene is done wonderfully. Perhaps the most IC
take on Gendou's true relationship with his son I've seen yet, and in an
elseworlds no less).
Thanks.
< Gendo smiled faintly. "Old blood breeds true, Shinji. And our
blood is old indeed.>
I get the impression that's going to have some plot ramifications
somewhere down the line.
Yep.
<One of her parents was quite close to that disaster,
and as a result, she has some very rare traits.>
*grins maniacly* Oh, yeah, rare traits.
Heh.
< I'm glad that you're willing to be her friend, Shinji. She needs
friends.">
Thirty thousand and she'll turn into a real human!
Rei the Flesh Idol OAV series coming out soon...
< He blinked, then as it darted forward and dived down its hole,
he realized what she meant. Most animals ran away from her. The
gopher had been wary, but it hadn't been terrified. For a moment, he
wondered if one of the Angels they'd killed had been 'Lord of Gophers'
or something, then dismissed the thought. Maybe only Japanese
animals and snakes are scared of her, he thought, then dismissed
that one as well, chalking this up to the 'unsolvable mysteries'
category. >
My this part is just dripping with foreshadowing, isn't it. (Granted,
I'm not sure what's being foreshadowed, but hey, if I was it wouldn't be
as much fun to read)
Trust me, no Lord of the Gophers will be showing up.
<And for the first time in her life, Rei felt temptation. It would
be so easy to turn and destroy Langely.>
Interesting bit of characterization you have here. Good fleshing out of
Rei's character.
Thanks.
<//"You all did. I was very pleased. I fully expected you were
all going to die once I learned Orifel had the EVAs. It is sometimes
pleasant to be surprised."// He pushed his glasses back up. //"That
was far too close."//>
You've really got to love Gendou's inspirational speeches. I hear he's
got some motivational tapes out now, entitled "Freeing your Inner
Bastard for the Greater Good."
Yep.
<"Time will tell," Gendo said. "Though it often tells things we'd
rather not hear.">
Ahh, the ubiquitious scheming scene. The staple of plot driven Eva fics,
but capably handled here. And an almost happy atmosphere for the ending
of CoEG? Wonderful work. There was only one thing I didn't really like
about this part, and that was the introduction. It didn't seem to flow
properly, and while I can't tell you exactly what went wrong I think it
might benefit from a rewrite. Keep up the great work,
Thanks for the comments!
John Biles
Emperor of all He Surveys
http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
"He who breaks a thing to find out what it is, has left the path of
wisdom."
-Gandalf