This fic was so tough to riff, one man had to undib it.

The Teacher/Student Relationship
A Salior Moon Lemon
Fic by Hentai Man
MSTed by Rob "Suzaku Soldier" Kelly

Pre MST notes: Welcome, welcome, welcome! Is there an echo here? Or is there three of me? No Invention Exchange, as the boys are just getting into the MLT3K stylus, expect that for next time. Anyhoo, let's get to business. Make sure you're seated comfortably, all exits are here, here, here, here and here, keep arms inside the car, anyone here over 17? Anyone here who understands what "lemon" means? Anyone here who thinks Haruna-sensei and Usagi should get together? Ok, we are ready for take off!
=============================================================
Cue Mystery Lemon Theater 3000 opening... Now

Tape of Miaka (drunk,OOC): Go sleep with Nakago. May he cut off your-- *gets gagged by Chichiri*
Rob: That was for you, Prince of Dragons

In the not too distant future,
somewhere in time and space,
Four anime boys in their Queen of Hearts,
Are caught in an endless chase.
Nakago and Tomo are aboard a ship,
piloted by fangirls who made 'em sick.
They found a teen who was dumb, they deemed,
so they took him by force to carry out their schemes!

(Rob) GET... ME... DOWN!!

(Nakago) We'll send them crappy lemons,
the worst we can find. (lalala)
(Tomo) The boys will sit and watch them all,
and we'll monitor their minds! (lalala)
(Rob) Now keep in mind I must control,
where the lemons begin or end, (lalala)
The guys have got to keep their sanity,
or they'll be used on our friends!

RIFFER ROLL CALL:

Ranma! (LEMON SIIGN!)
Yaten! (An Amazing Colossal _Dud!_)
Tamahome! (Miaka was OOC!)
Heerooooo! (And so, it begins...)

(Rob) And if you're wondering how we eat or breathe and other science fact, (lalala)
repeat to yourself "It's just a file, I should really just relax",
for Mystery Lemon Theater 3000!

*guitar twang*

(Door 6)
(Door 5)
(Door 4)
(Door 3)
(Door 2)
(Door 1)
(QoH)

In the Oueen of Hearts, recently taken over by those newly imfamous trio, Nakago, Tomo and Rob, the reluctant assistant(the other guys have stopped calling him "slave"), was under yet _another_ renovation.
Not intent with just the theater, the boys(and semi-girl) have added another MSTing staple; The Holocabana, in this case Type B. It was then that Heero noticed something... "A self-destruct button? Why didn't I see it before?"
Heero looked depressively at the big, red button. At looked as if it was calling him, asking him to press it and save all of them... Waitaminute... It did, right there, on the lable: DO NOT PRESS UNLESS YOU ARE HEERO YUY.
He wanted to help them, but this way? Well it was either read the next atrocity that Nakago and Tomo sent or kill themselves in a huge fireball...
No contest.
Heero out streched his hand, quivering, as his finger brushed the red button... Suddenly he felt cold, hard steel touch the back of his neck.
"I know what you're thinking, boy." a voice said behind him. "Did I fire five shots..." the person undid the safety catch. "..or six?"
Heero turned slowly to meet his gunman... Tamahome, being a jerk, no less. Heero clasped the barrel of his own pistol with his right hand. "It doesn't matter," he said, crushing the barrel with his bare hand. "you can never fire it in that state."
Tamahome froze in complete terror. Imagine if... That was his _throat!_ That thought made Tamahome back away screaming into Ranma and Yaten, knocking down the Holocabana control panel they were carrying... onto Ranma's foot. The old ones sure are the best ones, ne?
Heero pushed past the pained Ranma and picked up the panel and examined it... No dents, no damage. Thank Kami-sama. "Last piece of the jigsaw, Yaten-kun?" he said.
Yaten blushed. He hadn't got over last week, when he said those three little words to him...
"Y-Yes, Heero-ch-chan." he replied, before slapping his hand over his mouth realised what he just said. Heero just smiled -and blushed, at least at Yaten's POV!- and just said "Don't worry, I'll help." picking up the panel.
Ranma "piku"-ed at the scene. *I wonder what Duo and Relena would think?* he thought, before his thought train was derailed by the appearance of the good-old flashing red light. "Guys," he called, hopping over to the console. "The Terrible Trio are calling!" As the boys crowded 'round the hex-screen, Ranma flicked a switch and up came a split-screen view of the Mads, with Nakago and Tomo on one side and Rob, the ever vigilant Rob, the reluctant assisant, on the other side.

[Slick]
"Hello there, my little sea monkeys!" Nakago said playfully, tauntingly to the group in front of him. "Ready for the latest torture? This should bore your souls to the dregs! And by the same author as last weeks'!"

[SCR]
"And it's another Sailor Moon lemon, I'm afraid, guys." Rob said disenheartedly. "It's all my fault; I blurted out something about lemons as torture, and he's using it as the basis for the entire experiment..."

[QoH]
"Heck, that's OK" Yaten said. "The worst thing we have to deal with is the Terrible Two..." he motioned towards Ranma and Tamahome. "...and the idiots who send us these lemons."

[Slick]
Unfortunately, while Rob can talk to the boys in private, _the boys_ cannot. Nakago fumed at this. Tomo had overheard too, and feeling was no better. "ROB!!"

[SCR]
Rob wagggled one of his fingers in his ears to get rid of the ringing, then he tuned his intercom to Nakago's. "Yessir, Slick Control Room, Rob speaking, how may I be of..."
"Shut up and send them the goddamn post!" "Yeah, yeah, I got your crummy post!"
Rob takes CD. Places it in drive. Pulls the lever. Simple stuff.

[QoH]
"One more thing..." Heero mumbled. "What's that?" Ranma asked. "Has the Holocabana been set up yet?" Yaten came up to the guys. "Yup, last piece inserted a few minutes ago." he said. "Well..." Ranma began, getting cut off as the the klaxons blared. "GYAH! No time for small talk!" Tamahome yelled
"WE'VE GOT LEMON SIIGN!"
***************Don't call me babe********************

<DOOR SEQUENCE!>
~Door 1: A shower cubicle. You pull back the curtain to reveal Priss in the nude. You get a nosebleed then barge your way through.
~Door 2: A giant TV. You turn it on to see... North American Sailor Moon. You scream in terror, then Heero shoots the TV, allowing entry.
~Door 3: The fixed up "Clown Door." You blow it to bits, not bothered with doing the "Simon" game again.
~Door 4: The MST3K "Drawbridge." It falls, missing your feet by inches.
~Door 5: A bowling lane.  You slide down the lane, knocking the pins out the way, through the opening towards Door 6.
~Door 6: Four seperate tubes, with each of the kanji for each of the riffers' names. They each jump into their own tube.
~Door 1/4577: A large entryway opens before you. You enter the opening (Well, _da_ no da!).
~QoH Theater: The tubes spit out each riffer into their seats, in order from left to right: Heero, Ranma, Tamahome and Yaten.

THE TEACHER AND STUDENT RELATIONSHIP

Ranma: That's a tough one.

by the Hentai Man

Tamahome: Hey, isn't he from the last one?
Yaten: The quantity of lemon writers is dwindling...

Usagi waited behind as the rest of the students filed out of the class. Picking up her >case, and holding it defensively in front of her,

Heero: Because she was holding a pistol in her right hand.
Yaten: Isn't that your pistol, Heero?
Heero: Ack.
Tamahome: Bullshit, that pistol's barrel has been crunched to pieces.
Heero: So says the Mr. Callahan wannbe.

she got up and walked to stand in front of Haruna-sensei's desk. Haruna didn't look >up from marking papers, and Usagi swayed from one foot to the other as she waited.

Tamahome (singing): Swaying in the wind...

Finally she had to speak. "You wanted to see me, Haruna-sensei?" Haruna looked up. "I did not give you permission to speak, Usagi. Sit down," she >ordered frostily. Usagi took a step back, surprised, and sat down. But less than a minute later, she >started wailing.

Yaten: Quick off the mark, ain't she?
Ranma (Usagi, wailing): I can't help it, I'm not a perv, I'm  just written that way!

"Haruna-sensei, it's not fair! I didn't do anything!" Haruna sighed, and pushed her chair back. "Usagi, shut up."

Heero (Haruna-sensei): *imitates a gun being cocked*

Unused to being spoken to like that, Usagi did shut up. "Now come over here."

Tamahome (Usagi) : Cum? Of course I...
Ranma: Tamahome...

Usagi slowly stood up again, and moved to stand beside Haruna. "I ask to see all my students individually. Now it's your turn. Usagi, your grades just >aren't very good." "I'm sorry, Haruna-sensei," Usagi said. "I promise I'll do better. It's just that it's really >hard!"

Tamahome (Haruna-sensei): But this work is at the lowest level!
Yaten: She's not that stupid!
Tamahome: Shows what you know!
(Heero gives them his death glare)

"Usagi, I'm a firm believer in discipline, and that's something you are lacking." Usagi >wasn't quite sure how to respond to this, so she didn't say anything. "Now, put your case down," Haruna instructed. Usagi blinked a few times, then put it >down beside the desk.

Ranma (Usagi): Be careful with it, it's storing some hi-tech assasin weaponry...
Yaten (Haruna-sensei): Oh Usako, every time you go on one of you assingments, I die!
Ranma (Usagi): But I got a  big job! It's Oscar!
Yaten (Haruna-sensei): Oh, my little prodigy's hit the big leauges!

"Right, now bend over and lie on my lap," Haruna said flatly, patting her lap.

Heero (Haruna-sensei): It's just a shiatsu massage, nothing to be scared of.
Tamahome: Of course, there's the erotic value of this process that Haruna enjoys...
Ranma: Whoa, whoa!

"What?" "Usagi," Haruna sighed. "You're going to learn discipline if I have to beat it into you >myself. Now lie on my lap!"

Ranma: Beat... it... into... her?
Tamahome (Usagi): I've been spanked three times today, so couldn't you just let me off?

"But Haruna-sensei!" "Now, Usagi!" The tone of voice was so strict that Usagi automatically bent over >Haruna's lap.

Yaten: She what?
Ranma (Usagi, robotic): I must... obey... my master...
Tamahome: ...bat- *Thwack!*
Heero: I disallow that sort of riff.

Haruna put her hands on Usagi's back and pushed it down. Usagi lay on Haruna's lap, her mind reeling.

Tamahome (Usagi): Somebody get control of the rod!

What was this? What was Haruna-sensei thinking?

Ranma (Haruna-sensei's mind): Suki da Usagi Tskino...

Her blond head twisted around Usagi felt her skirt being pulled up, and she opened >her mouth to say something, then Haruna raised her hand and brought it down hard >on Usagi's ass.

Heero (Haruna-sensei): AHHH! I lost control of my body again! Forgive me Usako!
Ranma (Usagi): It's okay, I get this all the time!

"AAAIIIII!!!!" Usagi screamed. "Quite, girl," Haruna ordered. "You'll keep quiet until I'm finished. And with the size >of the punishment you need, that will be a while."

Tamahome (Usagi): O-OK, I'll just read until you're finished.
Heero (Haruna-sensei): Are you _really_ that used to this sort of thing?
Tamahome (Usagi): Oh yeah...

"But Haruna-sensei-" Usagi was cut off as another slap fired pain through her ass and >into her body. "AAII!!!"

Ranma: She _fired_ pain?
Yaten (Haruna-sensei, distressed): Oh, god! I killed her! I KILLED HER!

"QUIET!" Usagi started crying as Haruna continued to slap her ass,

Heero: I can't see why slapping her pet will do anything.

but Haruna wasn't stopping. Usagi's ass was burning hot when Haruna finally rested.

Tamahome (Usagi): Got any ice water, Haruna-sensei?

"This just isn't working," the teacher said. Hope fluttered in Usagi as she imagined >this punishment over.

Ranma: Thus ending the lemon...
Yaten: Be strong...

But Haruna leant over her and retrieved something from her desk drawer. "This should work better," Haruna said. Usagi froze in terror,

Ranma: The defrost button's on her back, just in case.

then emitted another scream as a far worse pain exploded in her ass

Yaten (Haruna-sensei, disteressed): Dear God, no! Not again!

as Haruna brought a ping-pong bat down onto Usagi.

Heero: Strange, Usagi's butt never looked like a ping-pong ball.
Ranma (Haruna): Hee heee, hit the ball, hit the ball, hit the ball...

Haruna swatted Usagi a few more times, ignoring Usagi's wriggling, then stopped >again. "Still not quite good enough. One more thing."

Ranma (Haruna-sensei): I need to shoot myself for hurting my love. *mimes shooting himself in the head*
Heero: Do you really believe that Usagi and Haruna-sensei make a good couple?
Tamahome: It's his sex fantasy.
Ranma: HEY!
Heero: You _like_ this sort of thing?
Ranma: Actually, mine doesn't involve S&M. Never could stand it...

Usagi could hardly believe what was happening, but that was nothing compared to >the shock she got when Haruna put her hand on Usagi's panties and pulled them >down.

Yaten: Look everybody! See what happens when you get bad grades!

Usagi suddenly became extremely aware of her bared bottom, and the fact that the >door was unlocked so anyone could walk in and see her exposed.

Heero (random stundent): That girl's got a cute butt.
Tamahome (ranmdom stundent): Ogod, she's off on one of her "punishments" again...

Haruna patted and rubbed Usagi's sore red bottom for a moment or two. "Such a nice >ass, Usagi," Haruna said, smiling. "And such a lovely colour."

Ranma: She likes the colour? What?
Tamahome: Red butts turn her on, eh?

She squeezed Usagi's cheek, pulling it open to look down onto Usagi's rosebud and >down onto her open pussy. It was red and swollen, even though Haruna hadn't hit it,

Yaten: I don't want to imagine what happens if she did.

and Haruna saw it shine from juices collecting on the outer lips. Haruna wondered if >Usagi realized that she was aroused by this.

Heero: Or if she was aroused at all.

It was definitely arousing Haruna. "Now the punishment can really begin," Haruna said,

Tamahome (Haruna as Caligula): Now the _fun_ begins.

and Usagi continued to wail as Haruna swatted her bottom.

Yaten (Usagi): Do you think it's some sorta giant bug or something?!

She would pause in her administration of the paddling every now and then to caress >Usagi's smooth and sore bum.

Ranma: With some ointment.
Yaten (Haruna, thinking): What is it that makes me do the things?

And every once in a while, Haruna would wipe a finger along Usagi's slit and collect >her juices, and bring the finger up to her mouth for a taste. Delicious.

Tamahome (Haruna): Of course, I tasted this before, it's just like Zoycite's pussy...
Ranma: EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!
Heero: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, players and player haters, Ranma EW-ing.

As Haruna continued the paddling, she started to do something else. She would lay >the handle of the paddle Usagi's crack, and move it down, pressing it lightly against >Usagi's cunt.

Ranma (Haruna): Thank God I'm getting back in control.

The pain in her ass was the main thing on Usagi's mind, but slowly another sensation >made itself felt.

Tamahome (Usagi): I think I'm gonna hurl.

Pleasure. From a point just below her sore bottom. Usagi hadn't >masturbated before, so wasn't used to feeling tingles run through her cunt, >contrasting the pain.

Heero (artisian): And here we have a clever contrast of pleasure and pain, known as "The Teacher/Student Relationship".
Tamahome (Usagi): I never jerked off?! How dare you! Haven't you read Usagi's Usual Morning?!
Ranma: She was 18 in the fic, baka!

Haruna examined Usagi's pussy closely, and when it gaped open from arousal,

Heero (Haruna): Heh, didn't even need to knock...
Yaten: Wow. I never knew you could do that!
Heero: I can't keep in a sheel _all_ the time Yaten-kun.

Haruna lessened the number of blows, and increased the amount of time she spent >rubbing the handle over Usagi's cunt.

Tamahome: Looks like she got a _handle_ on things! *laughs*
Yaten: Yuk!

Haruna heard a low moan escape from Usagi, even if Usagi wasn't quite aware of it >herself, and she grinned. Haruna positioned the end of the handle at Usagi's entrance, and pushed.

Yaten (singing): Push it, make the beats go harder...

Already wet from her own juices, the handle slid inside, and Haruna heard another >moan of pleasure emerge from Usagi's mouth.

Ranma: A lot of this moaning seems to be coming from the Tama-ecchi hidden in her mouth...
Yaten: Poor V-girl must be starving...

Reaching a hand around Usagi's waist to help hold her down, Haruna reached around >further to slide her hand up her own skirt, and pressed a finger against her own cunt, >and slipped it inside.

Tamahome (Finger): Hi, just slipping in!
Ranma: EW! E-
Yaten: Once is enough, Ranma.

Usagi was lost in emotion

Heero (Usagi): Hellloooooo, I'm lost here!

as pleasure replaced the constant pain. Her cunt spasmed >and her legs twitched as the paddle handle pushed in and out of her,

Tamahome: Handle goes in, handle goes out, handle goes in, handle goes out.

not going in far enough to rupture her hymen, but far enough to give her intense >pleasure.

Ranma: That's one helluva thin line.
Tamahome: Her practise with Zoycite help immensly though.
Ranma: Watch it!
Tamahome: Ohh, yeah, for a good time just call 1-800-NEGA-BITCH!
Ranma (standing up): Oh, how 'bout Miaka, then, I think she's enjoying her time with Akane!
Tamahome (standing up to face Ranma): Nani?! Your slut's going out with my wife?!
Heero: Guys...
Ranma: Yeah, and she's having a first hand go a female-on-female ACTION!!
Yaten: RANMA!
Tamahome: That's IT!!
Ranma: Oh course she'll always have you in her heart... it's just that she's preferred you when you were in drag! Do yourself a favour and GET A SEX CHANGE!
Tamhome: ARRGH! YOU AND ME, IN TTHE HOLOCABANA, AFTER THE FIC, AT POWER STONE!! LOSER GETS TO... GETS... to... gets to kiss NAKAGO!
Ranma: YOU'RE ON!
Heero: Dear God... what have they done now...?!
Yaten(stroking Heero's head, cooing): It's OK, Heero-chan, they're just jerks, don't listen to them.
Heero: Yaten, I need the head to riff the fic.
Yaten (letting go): Oh, sorry.
Nakago's voice: Hmm, I like the wager. Too bad it has to be the loser...
(Ranma and Tamahome suddenly swallow hard...)

Usagi's long ponytails writhed on the floor like snakes as she twisted her head back >and forth. She was moaning constantly now, although she didn't really know what >was happening to her.

Tamahome: You're having the handle of a ping-pong bat in your pussy, deal with it.

But she did know she liked it.

Heero: They always do.
Ranma & Tamahome (taunting Yaten): Even the ho-omo-os do...
Yaten; Ack, they're picking on me!
Ranma: There, there. Baby-kins want a bottle?
(Tamahome produces a baby bottle.)
Yaten: Shut up!
(Ranma and Tamahome burst out laughing.)
Heero (violently):Raanmma! Taaamaahooome!
Tamahome (remebering what Heero had done to the pistol): AAAGH! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!
Ranma: Wimp!

Haruna pumped the handle and her finger at the same rate. Her own cunt was >convulsing now, getting ready to give her the release she now needed so desperately. >She panted,

Ranma (Haruna-sensei): Arf arf!
Heero: That... is not... funny.

and licked her lips as pleasure grew within her. As a final spasm hit her, Haruna shoved the handle into Usagi deeply,

Tamahome: Impailng her.
Ranma: Are You Dark Today?

causing Usagi to cum as Haruna did so herself. They shuddered together as pleasure >ran rampant through their bodies.

All: Ri-ot! Ri-ot! Ri-ot! Ri-ot! Ri-ot!

As the pleasure wound down, Haruna removed the paddle from Usagi's cunt, and >sniffed it. Mmmm, so nice. Removing the finger from her own cunt, she sniffed and >licked that. Mmmm, just as nice.

Yaten: Hey, wait a minute... if she just sniffed Usagi's, and she sniffed and licked her own, then how come she like _both?_
Ranma: You have to try it to love it!
Yaten: Yuk!

Usagi's senses slowly came back online, and she remembered that she was stretched >over Haruna-sensei's lap, with her skirt up and panties down, and the door was >unlocked...and she had just received the greatest pleasure of her young life.

Tamahome: At least until Mamoru comes and does her brains out...

It took a few moment, but she realized that something else was happening to her. >Her skirt was lowered, but instead of her panties being replaced, they were pulled off >her.
"I'll keep these as a reminder to you." And me, Haruna added to herself.

Tamahome: Twice the Harunas, twice the hentai!

"Perhaps now you'll think twice before goofing off." "Yes, Haruna-sensei," said Usagi, weakly, as she stood.

Ranma (Usagi): PYSCH! C'mere, Haruna-chan!
Yaten: Yow.

"Next time, if there is a next time, I wont be so gentle." The thought of a next time caused a twinge of excitement

All: TWA-A-ANG!

to run through Usagi and moisten her cunt. "Mmmm. I mean, yes, Haruna-sensei." "Right. You may go," said Haruna.

Ranma (Usagi): Waaahhh! I wanna stay here!
Tamahome (Haruna-sensei): Not now, maybe after school.
Ranma (Usagi): OK!

Usagi turned to leave, but Haruna had one last thing to say. "Tell Naru that I wish to see her after class tomorrow." Usagi blushed with >embarrassment, and arousal, at the thought of her friend going through the same >thing.

Tamahome: More like she turned green with envy.
Yaten (Usagi): Wahhh, Haruna-sensei, how could you?!

"Yes, Haruna-sensei."

Ranma (bored): Yeah right.
Yaten (bored): Yes, yes, yes.
Tamahome (bored): What's on Raw?
Heero (bored, Hungarian accent.): My nipples explode with delight.
(Yaten giggles. Silence. Then Tamahome and Ranma remeber the bet.)
Yaten: Just when I thought they weren't going to go through it...
Tamahome & Ranma: TO THE HOLOCABANA!!
(They leave the theater...)

<Reverse Door sequence...>
~Door 6: A small stairway opens and out walk out.
~Door 5: The bowling lane. You exit through the ball return mechanism.
~Door 4: The classic MST3K "drawbrige". It opens down for you.
~Door 3: The rubble of the Clown Door. You walk through, glad not to do the puzzle again.
~Door 2: The blown TV. You make your way round the mess.
~Door 1: The shower. You step through, giving your apologies to the nearby
Priss.
~QoH Holocabana.
*********************************************************************
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yaten asked the two combatants, standing back to back in the blackness, streaked with green lines, of the currently deactivated Holocabana. The fight rules were simple; he who gets knocked out first, gets kissed by Nakago.
"Oh yeah," Ranma replied."Nothin' like seein' a kiddy-priss like him get another frenchie from Mr. Western Baddie!" Tamahome fumed at this. Nakago, meanwhile, was standing next to the Sailor Starlight, grinning from ear to ear... And Tomo was there too, envious that his desire was being given away as a prize... "What scares me is that Nakago got here without need for transport..." Heero said, not looking too happy himself. "If the theme song never told us to question plot points, all the Ani-verses will collapse..."
"Enough with the physics, Heero, let's see the boys fight!"
"Program START!"
Within a few seconds, the Holocabana had transformed into the streets of Tong-An, the stomping ground of Chinese martial artist, Wang-Tang akaWon-Ton. Tamahome and Ranma had also changed.
Tamahome was now wearing the red WWI pilot's uniform of British explorer Fokker aka Falcon. (NB: Falcon's changed to prevent associations with "F-cker", heh heh. -_-;") His dark green hair also shifted to Fokker's style, sweeping over his forhead like the sea, though it was still in a braid.
Ranma had changed into Won-Ton, the fighter that suited the location. He was dressed in a white shirt and pale brown pants and his hair fringe was spiking out like several lethal blades...
"Ready!"
The fighters shifted into their fighting stances.
"Action!"
Ranma charged at Tamahome, plunging his fist into Tamahome's stomach. Tamahome attempted to roll with the punch and ended up barreling into a table. Ranma spotted a chest that had appered in it's Power Stone-y way, and gave it a sharp kick to open it, revealing a rocket launcher. "All right; seishi B-B-Q!" Ranma gloated as he snatched the weapon from the floor and called out "Tamhome, where are yo-ou?!" in a sing-song voice.
"Right here!" came the reply above him, as Tamahome descended from one of the poles jutting from the floor to the ceiling, onto Ranma. Ranma narrowly sidestepped Tamahome, then fired a couple of rockets  into his chest. "So much for challenge..." he mumbled. Only to have the green haired Suzaku seishi ram into him.
"Oh NO!"
Ranma suddenly perked up. Oh, shit. That line meant that he lost a magic stone. And he's seen Tamahome pick it up and the rocket launcher. "When I'm finished here," he said, pointing the rocket launcher at Ranma. "There's not gotta be enough remains for Nakago to kiss. This is for Miaka." He lauched the remaining rockets into Ranma.
Or at least, the spot where Ranma _was_. Tamahome looked to his right to see Ranma behind a table. "Never dedicated your kills to your wife." he smirked. "It may be on your obituary.." Ranma suddenly propelled several pieces of funiture at Tamahome. Knocked out cold. Ranma smiled. He was beating Tamahome... and his own energy was at the lowest it could before KO!
Ranma looked to see Tamahome, and stared as he rose again. "You... can... never... beat... me..." he groaned as he rose to his feet. Ranma began to panic. Hold on, his stones were dropped... He can ge them, go into Power Drive mode, and smite him like the Miko loving dog he is!
Tamahome was forming a similar plan... Get that nearby pistol, then show him who's boss!
At the same time, the two duellists went for their goal...
both thought what the hell was the other one doing...
both charged at each other...
both lauched a powerful attack...
and both fell to the floor, out cold.
"DOUBLE KO! DRAW!"
Tong-An melted away to reveal the barren walls of the Holocabana, where Nakago had an excited look on his face, Ranma and Tamahome were laying there unconscious and Heero and Yaten had facefaulted. Oh, Tomo too.
"They both lost..." Heero began, trying to scrape his jaw off the floor.
"...the wager..." Yaten continued, staring into space.
"...which means..." Tomo trailed off, falling to the floor, _extremely_ envious of the fighters "luck".
"...they're both MINE!!! WAIII!" Nakago finished, almost screaming.
He picked up Tamahome first, making him wake up.
"Wha? What happened...?" he asked, groggily. "You _both_ lost, so you _both_ have to kiss me!" Nakago replied, as happy and excited as any hentai fangirl in this situation.
Tamahome's snapped open. Suddenly, it all came flooding back to him... "No... no... no... no... no,no, nononoNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed. "Ran-MAA! Help me!" It was then that he noticed that Ranma was nowhere to be found, with only a piece of paper in the place of Ranma a few minutes ago...

Heero picked up the note.

Dear Tama-chan,
ENJOY YOUR KISS, SUZ-UKER!

Love, Ranma.

Heero scrunched it up. "Well? What does it say?!" Tamahome asked. Heero only sighed and replied: "The bastard bailed out." "Well," giggled Nakago... "I've got you, babe!"
"NOO!" was Tamahome's only reply.
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO-MMMPH!!"

[SCR]
Rob looked at Ranma, who was next to him pissing in his pants laughing and only sighed in exasperation as he pushed the button...


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*FWOOOOSH!BWAKAAANM!*

Tamahome's voice: NOOO! MAKE IT STOP!
Nakago's voice: Just one more kiss, Tama-chan!
Tamahome's voice: AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Ranma's voice: BWA HA HA HA HA HA
Rob's voice: For the love of God, just get him outta here and take me with him!

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(Rob) Next Episode: SEE! Ranma and Tamahome become enemies! WET YOURSELF! As Nakago has regrets about what happened in the Holocabana! BE CAPTIVATED! As Heero and Yaten share a kiss! FACE-FAULT! as every person in El Hazard gets it on with one another

(Cue End Credits...)

Credits...

Cast...

Riffers:
Ranma Saotome[Ranma 1/2] ("(Haruna-sensei's mind): Suki da Usagi Tskino")
Tamahome[Fushigi Yuugi] ("I've been spanked three times today, so couldn't you just let me off?")
Yaten Kou[Sailor Moon Stars} ("Quick off the mark, isn't she?")
Heero Yuy[Gundam Wing] ("(bored, Hungarian accent.): My nipples explode with delight.")

Mads:
Nakago[Fushigi Yuugi] ("Well... *giggle* I've got you, babe!")
Tomo[Fushigi Yuugi] ("Which means...")

Mads' Reluctant Assisant:
Rob Kelly[IRL] ("For the love of God, just get him outta here and take me with him!")

Disclaimer Time!

Sailor Moon is Naoko Takeuchi's copyright .
Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
Fushigi Yuugi is property of Watase Yuu
Gundam Wing from Sunrise
I partly own MLT3K, 'cuz it's inspired by MST3K (in particular, Season 8) which is property of Best Brains Inc.
Rob, BLG and both mecha are all created by me.
Power Stone is property of Capcom.
The Teacher/Student Relationship comes from the nutso noggin of Hentai Man and HE CAN HAVE IT!
The Riffers' Holocabana is supplied by 6.7 Industries.

Think of the MST is funny C&C.

Keep circulting the fanfics, MSTs and lemons(not to mention the tapes)...

And now, the Stinger...

"Right, now bend over and lie on my lap," Haruna said flatly, patting her lap. "What?" "Usagi," Haruna sighed. "You're going to learn discipline if I have to beat it into you >myself. Now lie on my lap!"

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