Pokejoint 2
By C-Dogg
The long awaited *pause for laughter* sequel to Pokejoint is finally here.
Ace, I hope you don't mind me using your idea of the oddish leaves as rolling
papers.
Disclaimer: To the owners of these characters, please don't sue me. I have no
money. Besides, my lawyer can beat up your lawyer.
Warning:This story contains drug abuse.
Ash, Brock, and Misty all sat against a tree conversating lightly and
still smoking. Pikachu lay on the ground asleep among several dead oddish
stripped of their leaves. About a mile away, the Team Rocket trio huffed and
puffed as though they had just run an Olympic race.
Jessie put a hand against a tree to steady herself. "What *pant* was wrong
with *pant* the pip *pant* squeaks?"
"I *pant* think they *pant pant* were high," James answered from a bent
over position.
"That gives me *pant* an idea," meowth said.
"What?" Jessie asked, slowly regaining a control of her breathing.
"Since the brats are distracted *pant* and the pikachu is high *pant* this
is the perfect time to snatch that pikachu."
"That's a good idea, meowth," Jessie commended.
"Wait a second," said James. "How can we be sure the pikachu got a
contact? And what if the brats snap out of it before we get the little
rodent?"
Meowth rubbed his chin in thought. A few moments went passed by. "Okay.
First, we...
* * *
Ash took a huge drag and set down the joint. "So if they all looked alike,
how did their mothers tell the difference?"
"Maybe it's mother's intuition," Misty suggested.
"Or maybe they all had tattoos," Brock added. The three of them laughed.
A donut flew through the air. The small projectile pastry landed near the
sleeping yellow rodent.
"Am I seeing things or did I see a flying donut?" Misty asked.
Brock gave Misty a questioning stare. "I think you've been smoking a bit too
much, Misty."
Another donut made its way into the clearing. This time it hit Misty in
the head. This donut did not come alone. It was followed by a barrage of six
more, each hitting Misty.
"I'm being attacked!" she shouted. Misty pulled out her mallet and
proceeded to smash every donut in her general area.
* * *
Jesse, James, and Meowth crouched behind a few thick bushes. An empty
donut box lay nearby.
"This plan better work, Meowth!" Jesse warned. "That was the last of our
food!"
"Have I ever been wrong in the past?" The two humans rolled their eyes.
James brushed some powdered sugar off of his gloves. "What's wrong with
the girl?"
"It's panic," Meowth informed. "She's reacting differently from the
others. This is working better than I thought. Let's go." The Team Rocket
trio left for their next destination.
* * *
Misty put her mallet away and sat back down. She continued to smoke. Ash
and Brock gaped at her.
Misty looked at the two boys. "What?"
* * *
Viridian City
Jesse and James, disguised as an elderly couple, walked into the police
department and approached the desk where Officer Jenny sat.
"Miss," said James, "we're here to report a crime."
"Are you here to report those three kids in the forest?" Jenny asked.
"Yes," Jesse answered.
"Save your breath. Smoking marijuana is legal in this area."
"It's not that, it's something much bigger."
"What?"
James lowered his head. "Donut mutilation."
Officer Jenny jumped up, her eyes wide with shock. "Are you serious?" The
pair shook their heads solemnly.
The blue-haired policewoman bolted out of the room and into her car.
* * *
Back in the forest...
Choo choo choo cha cha cha cha
"What the hell was that?" Ash asked.
"What was what?" Misty inquired.
Choo choo choo cha cha cha cha
"That!"
"Oh my God!" Brock shouted. "We're gonna die!"
"No we're not," Misty told him.
Choo choo choo cha cha cha cha
"Yes we are! Whenever you hear that sound, someone's going to get die! And
no one else is around!"
"Brock, please don't make me hurt you!" Misty yelled.
Choo choo choo cha cha cha cha
"There's that sound again!"
Misty pulled out her mallet again and knocked Brock far off into the
forest.
Choo choo choo cha cha cha cha
Some bushes nearby started to rustle.
"I think Brock may have been right," Ash commented.
Suddenly, a growlithe bounded from behind the bushes. It started barking
at Ash and Misty. A few moments later, Officer Jenny came from the same
direction. Jenny surveyed the area. Two potheads. Normal in this area.
Scattered dead oddish. She didn't care. She never liked those things anyway.
Then she looked down at smashed donuts.
Jenny dropped to her knees over the pile. Her eyes began to tear up as she
picked up a few crumbs. "You...animals!"
Needless to say, Officer Jenny was pissed.
She stood up and aimed her gun at the two preteens. "You are in severe
violation of a Viridian City law that is punishable by immediate death! Say
your prayers you two!"
Ash and Misty clung to each other. Ash looked around desperately and came
up with a plan.
"Officer Jenny, if I die now, please let me die happy and take one last
drag."
Jenny shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, but make it quick!"
Ash picked up a joint. He patted the ground lightly to attract the
attention of the growlithe. Ash took a long drag as the pokemon approached
him. As soon as it was nearby, Ash blew a huge cloud of smoke in its face.
The growlithe coughed a few times then stared at Ash with a dreamy look on
his face.
"Do you like that, boy?" Ash asked.
The growlithe nodded.
"Do you want some more?"
The pokemon nodded even harder.
"Then attack her!" Ash commanded, pointing at the officer.
The growlithe turned and gave a menacing glare at Officer Jenny. It began
to growl lightly.
"You'd dare disobey your master for a five minute high?" she asked.
The growlithe said, in plain English, "Hell yeah!" It charged the woman.
Jenny turned and ran into the forest screaming her head off with the pokemon
hot on her heels. The two disappeared into the forest. Loud barking and
screaming ensued shortly followed by two gunshots, then silence. A minute
passed. Growlithe came back to the clearing wearing Officer Jenny's hat on
his head as a crown of victory.
"What happened to her?" Misty asked. Growlithe loudly belched out a shoe.
Misty slowly slid away from the carnivorous canine.
"Good boy!" Ash proclaimed. He tossed a joint to the pokemon. It pulled
out a lighter, lit up its joint, and walked off into the forest.
"My hero," said Misty. She threw her arms around Ash's neck and kissed him
hard on his lips.
* * *
"I heard two gunshots!" meowth exclaimed. "The brats are surely dead by
now!" The trio jumped down from the tree and raced to the clearing. On the
way, they passed a growlithe wearing a blue hat and smoking a joint, a large
crimson spot in the grass, and a white-gloved hand in a tree. When they
reached the clearing, they saw Ash and Misty making out with a nearby pikachu
still sleeping.
"Dammit!" Jesse swore.
"Let's just grab the rat while it's asleep," James suggested.
"Don't you realize it yet?" meowth said. "That never works! At least if
the brats were dead, we would stand a chance! Let's go back to the city. I'm
starving!" With that, the three left, hoping to formulate another plan.
Fade to black
A woman dressed in a black suit walks on. "Good day those of you on the
FFML, the AFML, the PFFML, at AGNP, and those reading via the World Wide Web.
I am Miss B. Chee of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Pokemon in
Spamfiction. I must say this is the most appalling thing I've seen since
"There Can Only Be One!" We here at the SPCPS in no way endorse the actions
expressed in this story or its predecessor. It makes us sick to read about
such innocent creatures getting contact highs. We are doing everything in our
power to get this story and others like it as well as their authors
internationally censored.
"Get her, boy!" commands a familiar voice from off-screen. A growlithe
jumps into view and tackles the woman to the floor. She screams for help for
off camera. Misty walks in front of the camera then disappears. The camera
suddenly turns toward Ash.
"Ash, you're on," Misty informs him.
"Hello everyone. I'm Ash and I have a message for the rest of the SPCPS."
Ash kneels down to pick up the growlithe, who now has a reddish tint on the
fur around his mouth. "You're next!" Ash flips off the camera and the
growlithe growls at it.
The End
<_______(((~~`
Questions? Comments? Praises? Flames? E-mail me at
bigc123485@aol.com
Or
c_dogg@my-deja.com
C-Dogg
http://homestead.dejanews.com/user.c_dogg/entrance.html
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