================================================================
Ranma 1/2
Misconception
short story by James Epnett
================================================================
P-chan padded down the hallway languidly, blinking
sleepily. It had been quite a long day. He didn't
know how, but he had managed to find his way back
to the Tendo Dojo, where he was promptly scooped up
by an ecstatic Akane.
After several moments of being talked to like
he was some kind of baby and snuggling against her
warm bosom, P-chan found himself being placed off
to the side. He recognized the room as being the
Tendo Training Hall. He also realized that Akane
was dressed in her training gi, and turned his head
to see Ranma enter the room.
The short red-head stopped several feet from
Akane.
P-chan waited for a few moments as Ranma and
Akane seemed to have a stare-down. Finally, the two
approached each other and talked quietly for a
moment, going over the new style the pigtailed
martial artist was going to use. Finally, their
training session started, and it didn't go very
smoothly.
P-chan pulled himself from his thoughts as a
warm flash of anger flooded through him. Ranma
hadn't gone very easy on Akane in there, and all
though she was getting better, she was still no
match for the pig-tailed martial artist.
Suddenly, it didn't matter anymore as a low
grunt erupted from Akane's room. P-chan's ears
perked up and he stopped. The voice was Akane's.
Cautiously, the small piglet continued down
the hallway. Again, a breathy grunt erupted from
within her room. This time, the sound was more
masculine.
"Ouch!" Akane hissed in a quiet voice.
"What is it?" Ranma demanded, his voice a
little louder than that of his fiancee's.
"That hurt!" replied Akane, her voice hoarse.
"Of course it did." Ranma's voice was a
little softer this time. "It always hurts the first
time."
P-chan's eyes bulged from within his head. He
looked up at the door of Akane's room, which was
closed tight. //He better not be doing what I think
he's doing,\\ he thought, growling.
"Are you sure it won't hurt anymore?" asked
Akane, a small edge of fright tinting her voice.
There was a brief pause, followed by Ranma's
voice. "It might, but not as much. It should feel a
little better."
"Just be careful. Please?"
"Trust me, Akane, this ain't the first time
I've done this."
"Oh?" Akane asked, her voice curious. "Who
else have you done this for?"
"Well..." Ranma paused for a moment.
"Shampoo... and Ukyo."
"Did it hurt them, too?"
"It didn't hurt Shampoo too much, she's done
it lots of times. Ukyo kinda... well... cried."
Akane giggled.
P-chan face faulted, landing on his back
hard. He twitched and convulsed as he continued to
listen.
"Just make it quick," Akane continued,
whimpering a bit. "It still hurts a little, and I
want to get it over with."
"Okay, it shouldn't take too long. It didn't
with Shampoo or Ukyo. I guess I must be really good
at this. To think, Shampoo was the first, and it
was a cinch. She seemed pleased with my work, and
it didn't take me no time at all."
P-chan felt his body growing warm, only it
was more than anger this time, it was pure fighting
spirit.
"Remember, fast. The faster you go, the
sooner it's over for both of us."
Ranma's voice was soft again. "Hold on to the
headboard. You might need to clench something.
Better it than me, at least it won't get hurt if ya
squeeze to hard."
"Like this?" questioned Akane.
"A little further apart."
Silence.
Ranma continued, "Yeah, that's it. Now bend
your leg and lift it a little."
Akane grunted and yelped. "Like that?!"
"Yeah, now hold on. It'll be over in a
second."
That was the last string. P-chan could only
imagine what Saotome was doing to Akane, and it was
giving him a severe nosebleed. He leapt to his feet
and headed towards the bathroom.
* * *
Ranma barely noticed the sound of feet
rushing towards Akane's bedroom as he clenched her
foot tightly between his hands. He looked down at
her where she lay on her bed before him and smiled.
"Here goes nothin'."
Akane nodded and clenched the headboard
tightly, closing her eyes.
"RANMA!"
"Huh?" Ranma turned his head in time to see
Ryoga's fist moving quickly towards him. "Ahh!" He
jerked to the left and rose his hand. It closed
around Ryoga's face and pushed him back. "What d'ya
think you're doin', pig boy?"
Ryoga rebounded and clenched his fist. "You
fiend, Saotome! What do you think you're doing to
Akane?!"
Ranma turned his head from a baffled Akane
and looked up at the lost boy. "What does it look
like, moron! I'm settin' her ankle in place. She
knocked it out trainin'!"
Ryoga's eyes traveled down to where Ranma
held Akane's foot in his hands. "Oh.. umm.. I...
err...." His lips pulled back in a ludicrous smile
and be began babbling incoherently before passing
out.
Ranma and Akane stared stupidly at the
unconscious martial artist.
Akane blinked and crinkled her brow. "I
wonder what he thought we were doing?"
================================================================
Authors Notes: Well, I was never actually going to send this. I
wrote it almost 6 months ago, and just recently fished it out. I
sent it to only a few people (my sister and a fellow Ranma 1/2
fan, Morgan Hudson) and both told me I should send it in, for
the very same reason that several people have mentioned -- too
many dark fics lately (and I'm not saying they are bad, my
current series fic is dark)
On another note, this story is not running with the continuity
of any of my fan fics, or anyone else's. Just something I thought
some people might think is a lil funny. Don't take it seriously.
Ja ne!
The Man With The Machinegun -- James Epnett
================================================================
________________________________________________________________
Get free e-mail you don't need Web access to use --
Or get full, reliable Internet access from Juno Web!
Download your free software today: http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagh.