Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][Special] The Nicholas Stone 1998 Holloween Anime Special
From: "Nicholas Stone" <bnstone@ix.netcom.com>
Date: 10/25/1999, 2:16 AM
To:

Me again,

    Well it's that time of the year, Holloween and all, and here I am
with another instalment of altered futures around the Animated
community.
    Okay, really, this is my second instalment, actually two of what
was supposed to be a quintet of stories I wanted to release back in
1997.
    If anybody can rememeber back that far, I was only able to send
out a short Ranma 1/2 fic called "Through a Portal Darkly Walking".
Needless to say, I recieved several flayings, a plethora of 'You gave
me bad dreams', all mixed in with some serious C&C.
    Missed 1998, was sitting in the Arabian Gulf working on Dark
Family 3.
    Well, I'm back again, asking for more.
    This time, I'm going to present two short stories, one covering a
well known Anime series, the other covering a well known American
Animated series.
But Halloween is still a week away, you say?
Yep, but unfortunately it looks like I'll be at sea when it comes.
Have to get it out now so everyone can enjoy it (I figure the way the
RAAC is going, by the time this gets posted, it will be the 31st ^_^).
Until then, and I say this in the fashion of the late, great E.G.
Marshall,
Pleasant Dreams...
                                                Nicholas Stone
______________________________________________________________________
_________________________

                                                  The Nicholas Stone
1998 Animated Halloween Special

                Featuring:

                                Tenchi Muyo:  No Need for a Thing

                and as an extra bonus:

                                King of the Hill:  Sheriff of Ghost
Town

        Authors warning:  Some parts of the first story are quite
graphic in nature.  If I offend anyone, a thousand apologies in
advance. Oh, and for all you Sasamiites... please, it's only a story.
Really it is!

______________________________________________________________________
_________________________

                     No Need for a Thing
                        (Tenchi Muyo)

          Stars drifted lazily on the view screen of Yagami
     as the Galaxy Police ship made its way from Juraian
     Space towards Earth.  At the controls, Detective First
     Class Kiyone Makibi monitored their flight, checking
     indicators has was her normal routine as pilot of the
     ship.
          Everything looked normal, no surprises, no
     indications that any sudden `disasters' would steal up
     to plunge them into another adventure.  Them meant the
     rest of Yagami's passengers/crew; Tenchi Masaki, his
     father Nobuyuki, grandfather Yosho, Ayeka and Sasami;
     both princesses of Jurai, Washu; Greatest Mind in the
     Universe, Ryoko; supposed class A1 criminal, and her
     ever so annoying partner Mihoshi.
          Incidentally, it was time for her shift to end,
     but as usual there was no sign of Mihoshi to relieve
     her.  Probably playing around in the lounge again with
     the others, thought Kiyone drawing in a deep sigh.  She
     activated the intercom calling to her wayward partner.
          "Mihoshi."
          A long moment of silence followed, Kiyone smirking
     at the consol.  She called again getting the same
     response.
          "Damn!  Hello, is there anybody down there?"
          The speaker crackled, then a young voice answered.
          "Hi, Kiyone!" said Sasami.
          "Sasami have you seen Mihoshi?"
          "She in the lounge playing Charades with the
     others."
          Charades!
          Kiyone clenched her fist.  Too angry to continue,
     she checked off the circuit and undid her restraints.
     Ordering Yagami into full defensive mode, Kiyone
     stormed angrily through the ships corridors thoughts of
     lingering pain for her misbegotten colleague.
          The hatch to the lounge slid open, Kiyone stepping
     in ready to tear off some heads, but instead she
     stopped staring shock at what she saw.
          Mihoshi stood face twisted in rage, fist clenched
     with arms held up before her.  The rest of the group
     sat staring in confusion, trying to figure out what she
     was doing.
          "It's organic," commented Washu narrowing an eye.
          "Beast or Monster?" asked Tenchi.
          Mihoshi waved her arms at either suggestions.
          "Okay, then it's a person, humanoid and very mad,"
     said Ayeka.
          Mihoshi clapped her hands, nodding excitedly.
          Ryoko, hovering above them, rubbed her chin
     thoughtfully.  "Hmm, I'm afraid we're going to need
     more hints there, Mihoshi."
          Mihoshi's eyes went wide, brain trying to think up
     something.  She smiled, crooking her right arm to her
     hip, left arm slightly held out.  Everyone smirked,
     trading looks trying to figure out this one.
          "A tea pot?" said Ayeka.
          Mihoshi clapped her hands.  Taking a new stance,
     she clenched her eyes and mouth tight hiding her head
     behind her arms.  With a sudden jump, she popped up,
     eyes and mouth wide open.
          "A jack-in-the-box!" exclaimed Washu.
          "No, this is a living thing," Tenchi's father
     reminded her.
          "Hold on, hold on, hold on," Ryoko said hovering
     down to the deck.  "I think I got it.  She's doing
     Ayeka!"
          "She is not!" cried Ayeka shooting to her feet.
          "She's got to be.  Angry face, always loosing her
     temper, blowing her top.  Yeah, am I right Mihoshi?"
          Mihoshi looked down cast at the deck tapping the
     tips of her forefingers together nervously.  She shook
     her head; Ayeka letting out a laugh.
          "See!  Once again you've made a silly conclusion."
          "Well if it's not you, then who is it?" asked
     Tenchi.
          "She's doing me," Kiyone said placing a hand to
     her forehead.
          "Kiyone!" exclaimed Mihoshi, dashing over to her
     partner.
          Kiyone pushed her away.  "Mihoshi, I didn't come
     down here for fun and games!"
          "But we're having so much fun playing games,
     talking and singing, and--."
          "Mihoshi!"
          That caught her attention.  Kiyone's face twisted
     in rage, cheeks flushed red.
          "Gee, Mihoshi.  That sure was a good impersonation
     you did," said Ryoko.
          "So, you want to play games," said Kiyone.  "I
     have one for you."
          "Oh you do!"
          "Yes, it's called `Where is Mihoshi Supposed to be
     Now?'."
          Mihoshi cocked her head to one side.  "Wow,
     Kiyone.  I've never heard of that one before."
          "Mihoshi, your supposed to be up on the bridge
     relieving me!"
          "Huh?"  Glancing at her watch, Mihoshi let out a
     gasp.  "I'm late!," she cried scrambling for the door.
     Kiyone caught her by the collar before she could get
     away.
          "No need to hurry now.  I'm right here."
          Mihoshi grimaced.  "Ooopsie," she uttered low.
          Kiyone hung her head.
          "Well now that you're here, both of you can have
     dinner with us," Ayeka said.
          "No, somebody has to be up monitoring the ship,"
     answered Kiyone glaring at Mihoshi again.
          The beep from Yagami's computer system chose that
     moment to go off drawing their attention.  Quickly
     Kiyone went over to the communication panel.
          "What is it, Yagami?"
          [We are receiving a distress signal.  Sector 459,
     Quadrant G88.]
          "Right on our route," said Washu.
          "Can you I.D. the source?" asked Kiyone of Yagami.
     The computer ran a quick analysis on the signal.
          [Registration is Qunatra, a research vessel listed
     to be on assignment out near the Pelages Dust Marche.]
          "That's way out near uncharted space," said
     Mihoshi.
          Kiyone nodded.  "How long to intercept?"
          [Two hours at max speed.]
          "Alright, set a course.  We'll be up in a moment."
          "I guess that's going to delay out trip home,"
     said Ryoko, grumbling to herself as she drifted back up
     to the overhead.
          "Galaxy Police rules are quite clear on this,"
     Kiyone said.  "And besides, somebody needs help.
     That's more than enough justification for me."
          "Let's just hope it's nothing too serious that we
     can't handle," replied Washu.
          "It might be wise to call for back-up," suggested
     Yosho.
          Kiyone agreed with him.  "Good idea, Grandpa.
     Mihoshi call Headquarters.  Let them know what's going
     on, and ask if they can send us some support."
          "Okay!" said Mihoshi.
          She ran out, and Kiyone flopped down into the
     nearest chair.
          "Almost made it," she said.
          "Almost made it where?" asked Tenchi.
          "Back to Earth with no abrupt distractions.  Spoke
     to soon."
          Sasami announced dinner was ready over the
     intercom, everyone but Kiyone rushing off.  She let out
     a low sigh.
          "Yep, spoke to soon."


                             * * * * *


          "Activating reverse thrusters," reported Mihoshi
     pushing the controls forwards.
          Yagami slowed to a stop before a dark and silent
     ship that hung in space like a wounded animal.  Twice
     as long as the policeship, the Qunatra's oblong
     cylindrical hull had several large holes close
     amidships, another one close to where the ships bridge
     would have been.
          Kiyone frowned slightly studying the damage.  Next
     to her, Washu sat looking over the scanners trying to
     determine what had happened to the ship.
          "I'm not picking up any residual particle
     emissions," she said.
          Tenchi's grandfather leaned over her shoulder for
     a closer look at the information.  "Hmm.  That means
     they were probably not attacked."
          "Doesn't look that way."
          "Then why all the holes?" asked Kiyone.  She
     turned one of the exterior searchlights across the
     nearest hole for a better look.  "Say . . . wait a
     minute."
          "You find something?" said Washu.
          "These holes were caused by explosions from the
     inside.  Just look at the way the metal is forced
     outwards."
          Washu saw what she was looking at.  "A malfunction
     maybe?"
          Kiyone arched a brow.  She got up out of her seat.
     "Well we'll find out once we get onboard.  C'mon,
     Mihoshi let's suit up."
          Mihoshi cheerfully followed her out the doors.


                            * * * * *


          Down at the air lock, Tenchi, Ryoko, and Ayeka
     were waiting already suited up and ready to accompany
     the two detectives over to the stricken research
     vessel.  Up in the control booth, Sasami held Ryo-Ohki
     in her arms as Tenchi's father prepared to extend the
     boarding tube.  She was nervous, sensing that something
     was not right about this situation.  Her gaze was fixed
     on her sister standing calmly next to Tenchi, fixing a
     seam on her brown and tan jumpsuit.  Kiyone and Mihoshi
     appeared joining the three.
          "Okay, we don't know what exactly is or has gone
     on, but from initial scans, it appears that the ship
     had some sort of internal problem," Kiyone explained to
     them.
          "No comms with the ship?" asked Ryoko.
          "Doesn't appear to be anyone onboard, at least
     onboard alive," answered Mihoshi.  Kiyone swatted her
     arm.
          "Then why are we going aboard?" Ayeka said.
          "Still have to investigate the scene to determine
     what happened.  This ship also has to be either towed
     or destroyed if not salvageable."
          "Makes sense," Tenchi said.  "And who knows, the
     scanners might be wrong."
          A red light flashed above the air lock, Nobuyuki
     Masaki signaling to them that Yagami was coming
     alongside.  Force fields flashed on, and the lock was
     decompressed.  From the side of Yagami, a metal
     umbilical tube extended out latching onto the airlock
     of the Qunatra.  Once it made a tight seal, Sasami
     activated the mechanical tendrils on the inside,
     opening the ship up.
          [Okay, you can go in now,] she told them.  [Be
     careful.]
          [We will,] replied Ayeka.
          Kiyone opened the hatch and the five drifted down
     the tube.  Sasami bit her lip, the nervousness in her
     increasing.  "Please, be very careful," she whispered
     as the hatch slid back down into place.


                              * * * * *


          The red glow from the emergency lights offered
     limited views along the corridors, the boarding party
     trying to get their bearings.
          [Washu,] called Kiyone on her comlink.
          [What's up?]
          [You have us on the scanners?]
          [Yep.]
          [Give us some directions to Engineering and
     Auxiliary Control if there is one.]
          Washu called up the Galaxy Police ships database,
     running the schematics for this class of research
     vessel.
          [Okay.  From your position, engineering is
     straight back.  Looking at the current status of this
     ship,  most of the central section is a mess, so
     whoever goes that way watch your step.]
          [What about Auxiliary Control?]
          [Located on the starboard side about four decks
     below the bridge.]
          Kiyone thought a moment.  [Mihoshi, Ryoko, you
     guys head back aft and see what the status is of the
     engines.  We'll go forward and check out the ships
     records.]
          [Give me the dirty work.  Why can't you send
     Ayeka?] Ryoko complained.  She glanced over at the
     princess then grinned.  [Sorry, stupid question.]
          [You loathsome creature!] growled Ayeka.
          [Later, girls,] Kiyone cut in.  [Let try to make
     this quick.  Mihoshi when you get down there, call and
     tell us what you two find, understand?]
          [Got it!  Let's go, Ryoko.]
          Mihoshi moved excitedly down the corridor with
     Ryoko.  Tenchi chuckled lightly.
          [You know, sometimes I envy Mihoshi's silly
     innocence.] he said.
          [Believe me, you would not be saying that if you
     had to work with her on a permanent basis,] answered
     Kiyone.


                             * * * * *


          Washu's mind mulled about the information she was
     reading on the front monitor, trying to come up with
     some answer to the mystery.  It did not make any sense
     to her.  Why would a crew shut down their engines, blow
     holes in their hull, and not escape in any of the
     escape pods?  And where was the crew for that matter?
          She smacked her lips, letting out a long sigh.
     "I'm stumped," she said to the elder Masaki seated
     behind her.
          "Are we still trying to find answers to the
     unknown?" he asked her.
          "Yeah.  I mean they shut down their life support
     systems, blew out their bridge, then activate the
     distress beacon?  It looks to me like somebody did not
     want this ship to return to known space ever."
          "You think so?  Hmm, that's interesting.  I've
     been thinking the same thing."
          "Oh.  What'd you come up with?"
          Yosho moved up into the copilots seat.  "Look
     here.  A majority of the holes are located low
     amidships.  Now examining the basic schematics, I've
     noticed that this area is mainly cargo storage space."
          Washu found this interesting.  She narrowed an eye
     while formulating a hypothesis.  "So then maybe
     something in their hold forced them to damage the
     ship."
          "That or they were trying to destroy whatever it
     was."
          "Okay.  So let's look at the bridge.  Based on
     what you have said and from what I can gather, the
     fight wasn't confined just to the cargo hold."
          "I would say not.  Just as a guess, I think their
     cargo tried to take over the ship."
          "So that means it's intelligent."
          "Right."
          Yosho slowly looked up staring at the Qunatra.
     The sudden realization of his words hit him, and he
     adjusted his glasses, looking calmly over at Washu.
     She on the other hand was quickly reaching for the
     communications panel.
          [Kiyone!] she called desperately into the mic.
          [You don't have to yell, Washu.  I hear you.]
          [I think we should abort this like right now!]
          [What's got you spooked all of a sudden?] Ryoko's
     voice cut in.
          [Grandpa Masaki and I have been trying to piece
     together the reason why this ship is in the state its
     in now.]
          [So what are two coming up with?] asked Kiyone.
          [We think something they were carrying in their
     hold got lose in the ship.  From all indications, it
     might have been intelligent.]
          [Oh wonderful, this is a fine time to come up with
     information like that,] snapped Ayeka.
          [Hey, even genius's have to have time to study a
     situation,] answered Washu.
          Kiyone spoke up.  [That's irrelevant though.  All
     the life support systems are down.  Right now we are in
     hard vacuum, and unless this mystery being can survive
     in that harsh of an environment, I would suspect it is
     as dead as the ship.]
          [Did you find any bodies?] asked Yosho.
          [Nothing yet,] replied Kiyone.
          [Ditto,] added Ryoko.
          Washu frowned, shifting around in her chair.  "No
     bodies, no sign of alien life.  Strange.  I still don't
     like it."
          "This is odd.  We could call them back and wait
     for a full team to arrive form Galaxy Police."
          [Did you hear that, Kiyone?]
          [I heard.  Mihoshi, did you get in touch with
     headquarters?]
          [Yes.]
          [So did they say anything about sending out a ship
     to help us?]
          [They said they'd send somebody as quick as they
     could.]
          [We can't wait forever,] said Tenchi.
          [We can if we don't know what we're up against,]
     answered Washu.
          [Look, if you're worried about what's in the cargo
     area, I'll go down and take a look,] said Ryoko.
          [Okay, but watch yourself, Ryoko,] said Kiyone.
     [If you run into any trouble--.]
          [The blast of my energy burst will let you know if
     I'm in trouble.]
          Washu laughed.  [We'll be listening for you.]
          She sat back, gazing up at the overhead a worried
     expression on her face.
          "Still doesn't sit well with you," commented
     Yosho.
          "No.  Not at all."


                              * * * * *


          Down at the hatch leading to Auxiliary control,
     Kiyone worked on what was left of the control panel on
     the wall, trying to reconnect the circuits so they
     could get inside.  Tenchi stood examining the hatch
     itself, noting the deep imprints all over its surface.
     Something with extremely large fist tried to force it's
     way inside, Washu's theory of an alien onboard looking
     more and more like fact.
          [I can only imagine what we'll find inside,] he
     said to Ayeka standing behind him.
          [My goodness.  What could cause such markings?]
          [I don't know.]  Tenchi looked fearfully around.
     [I hope it's still not alive.]
          A spark flashed, Kiyone pulling her hands back as
     she made the cross connection.  [There, that should be
     enough for us to crack the hatch back.] she said to
     them.
          [That panel wasn't destroyed for nothing, Kiyone,]
     said Tenchi.  Are you sure we should be opening this
     up?]
          Kiyone drew her pistol.  [Ayeka, take the
     controls,] she said moving up to the side of the hatch.
     Tenchi unslung the rifle he carried from his shoulder
     powering it up.  On the count of three, Kiyone nodded
     to Ayeka.
          The hatch slid partially back and from the opening
     a dark thick mass boiled up.  Ayeka let out a scream
     jumping back; Kiyone and Tenchi pressing up against the
     sides.  The stuff floated up into the center of the
     corridor forming several round globes mixing and
     bouncing off each other.
          [Hey, that's smoke,] Kiyone said.
          True enough, it was the remnants of some fire that
     had occurred inside the Auxiliary Control room.  Tenchi
     prodded one scattering it into several smaller parts.
          [Okay, so what was burning?] he said.
          [We can't go in there and expect to see anything
     if this stuff is still bubbling around,] replied
     Kiyone.  [Mihoshi!]
          Down near the hatch leading into Engineering,
     Mihoshi jumped surprised by the call of her name.  [Uh,
     yes?]
          [Are you in Engineering yet?]
          [I'm just about to go inside.  If I can get this
     door open.]
          [Say does it look like something was beating
     against it?] asked Tenchi.
          Mihoshi peered at the hatch.  There were some
     dents in the metal, but not anything to talk about.
     [Doesn't look like it.]
          [Hmm, looks like our friend didn't get that far.]
          [You think this alien got caught here, Tenchi?]
     said Ayeka.
          [Possible.]
          Kiyone called Mihoshi again.  [When you get in
     there, try to get at least life support systems back on
     line.]
          [Okay.]
          Mihoshi stared at the controls, wondering which
     button was the right one to push.  Shrugging, she
     pushed the first button that caught her fancy.  The
     Mihoshi luck held true to form and the hatch slid
     halfway back.
          [Hello?] she called shining her light around.
     Several consoles lined the wall, buttons and indicators
     winking as if things had never gone wrong.  Stepping
     in, Mihoshi found nothing unusual and headed over to
     the nearest console.
          [Kiyone,] she called.
          [You find something, Mihoshi?]
          [No.  This is kind'a creepy.  There's nothing
     wrong with Engineering.]
          [Nothing?] said Washu.
          Mihoshi panned her light around some more.  [I
     don't see anything wrong with the controls, or--,
     AAAYYYYIIIIIEEE!]
          [MIHOSHI, MIHOSHI!] cried Kiyone.  [Mihoshi,
     what's going on?  Answer me!]
          [(Huff, Huff) I'm okay.]
          [Then why did you scream?]
          [I . . . I found a body.]
          Centered in her light on the floor lay the figure
     of a humanoid.  It was the closet thing Mihoshi could
     relate to it because the body looked to be stretched
     out and twisted in places where normal joints would not
     be.  She grimaced staring at the disfigured head.  The
     skin appeared stretched smooth, part of the skull
     melted down to one side, face held in a hideous mask of
     pain.
          [Oh, can somebody come down here with me,] she
     pleaded.
          [Get a hold of yourself, Mihoshi,] Kiyone told
     her.  [Look on that body for an identification.]
          [Where?]
          [What do you mean `Where'?  On the body's shirt,
     pockets, a purse.]
          [It's not wearing any clothes.  It's just all
     arms, or something like them.]
          Kiyone smirked.  [Any ideas, Washu.]
          [Skip it for now.  Stay away from it, Mihoshi.]
          [Okay,] replied Mihoshi.
          Giving the thing one last look, Mihoshi stepped
     around to the next set of consoles.  Washu guided her,
     and she quickly found the one they were looking for.
          [Boy these guys were messy,] she said, commenting
     on the frozen puddles of translucent green liquid
     spattered on the wall.  [Looks like there might have
     been a coolant leak, or maintenance was very sloppy.]
          Kind of reminds you of your work, doesn't it?
     mused Kiyone to herself.  [Hurry it up, Mihoshi.]
          Mihoshi examined the panel for a moment.  Breaking
     away a small puddle of frozen liquid, she traced the
     labels until she found one marked `ON', and pressed it.
          The overhead lights flickered to life, then from
     the engines, a blue glow appeared through one of the
     monitoring windows.
          [I did it, I did it!] exclaimed Mihoshi, jumping
     around ecstatically.
          [Yeah, yeah we hear you, Mihoshi,] said Washu.
     [Now find the button that controls atmosphere and
     increase recovery time so we can speed this up.]
          Mihoshi did as instructed, watching as the
     temperature readout began to climb.  [Okay, what do I
     do now?]
          [Nothing.  Just monitor the controls,] Kiyone told
     her.  [Once were inside Auxiliary Control, we'll try to
     bring the engines up from here.]
          [Okay.]
          Mihoshi pulled herself into a chair and strapped
     in.  Gravity controls would not be stable for at least
     another five to ten minutes, that left her with nothing
     to do until ships pressurization returned.
          Innocently, she sat whistling a tune to herself,
     twiddling her thumbs staring at the controls.  Boredom
     finally set in, Mihoshi looking around.  Some of the
     liquid on the walls already began forming into floating
     spheres as the temperature increased.
          "I know!" said Mihoshi snapping her fingers.
     "I'll clean this place up.  A Galaxy Police Officer
     should always help out civilians in times of need, and
     I am a good police officer!"
          Unstrapping herself, she floated off in search of
     a utility closet, pausing just long enough to glance
     down at the strange body on the floor.
          "Better find a bag," she said moving off with a
     shudder.


                             * * * * *


          Finally the undamaged sections of the
     recirculation intakes kicked in, drawing out what was
     left of the smoke trapped in Auxiliary Control.
     Gravity was just starting to return, Tenchi feeling the
     pull.  He made short hops across the deck, leaping up
     to catch hold of a crossing structural support.
     Drawing his flashlight, Tenchi panned it around the
     crawl space above the consoles.
          [Nothing up here,] he said to Kiyone.
          At the primary control panel, Kiyone and Ayeka
     were looking over the damages to the ship, routing and
     rerouting power to the vital systems.
          [That's strange,] she replied.  [Somebody had to
     be in here.  There's no way those doors could have been
     locked otherwise.]
          [Maybe the door was set to be locked, and then the
     exterior panel destroyed to prevent someone else from
     getting in,] Ayeka suggested.
          Tenchi bounced lightly on the deck behind her.
     [Hmm, that's not a bad theory, Ayeka.]
          [Question is why?]
          [We'll find out in a moment,] Kiyone said.
     Bringing the computers back online, the main screen
     flickered to life showing a forward view of Yagami.
          Working the controls, Kiyone shook her head.
     [Only view I can get up.  Looks like all the other cams
     are O.O.C.]
          [Damaged from the explosions?] asked Tenchi.
          She called up a record, starting at what she read.
     [All the internal and most of the external circuits
     have been obliterated.  So's much of the main computer
     core.]
          [That means no ships records to tell us what
     happened,] Washu said over the circuit.
          This wasn't right to Kiyone.  Disabling the
     computer was a blatant act of sabotage.  But to destroy
     the primary computer meant suicide for all onboard.
     Why do it?
          [Let's see what Ryoko has found.  Ryoko.]
          A short pause, then Ryoko spoke up.  [Yes?]
          [Where are you at?]
          [I'm peering through a porthole on one of the
     emergency bulkheads into what's left of the cargo
     hold.]
          Ryoko hovered in Null-G staring at the debris
     floating around the shattered cargo bay.  It looked
     like there might have been something large in there,
     something mixed in with ice or other frozen substance,
     jagged chunks suspended about the space.  Turning her
     light down towards the hole, she caught sight of a body
     tethered to one of the pipes.
          [I got one of the crew here.  Hey . . . what the
     hell?]
          [What's wrong, Ryoko?] asked Kiyone.
          [I dunno what to make of this.  Either this guy
     was a prisoner, or maybe he was having some kinky sex
     with somebody else.]
          [Cut the comedy, Ryoko!] shouted Washu.
          [I'm not joking!  His hands have been tied behind
     him.]
          Washu smirked at the speaker.  Could there have
     been a mutiny on the ship?  Maybe the surviving crew
     used the hold as a prison cell.  That did not explain
     why all the damage though.
          [You see anything else?] she asked.
          Ryoko played the light around.  [Lot's of junk,
     bits of metal, tubing and what not.]
          [This is getting stranger by the minute,] said
     Ayeka.
          Kiyone had to agree with her.  It was going to
     take a full investigation team with a fine tooth comb
     covering every inch of this ship to figure out what
     happened.  A beep from the console alerted her to the
     change in atmosphere.  Oxygen levels appeared to be
     stable, and she shut off her life-screen.  Tenchi and
     Ayeka followed suit.
          "Okay, so what now?" asked Tenchi her.
          "We wait for whatever ship HQ is sending out here,
     report our findings and move on."
          "Sounds good to me."
          Gazing at the controls around them, Tenchi shook
     his head, a troubled look on his face.
          "You know, Kiyone.  That fire set in here seems
     deliberate to me.  I can't find what exactly was
     burning though."
          "Nothing left at all?"
          "Some greasy black deposits, but nothing else I
     could identify."
          "That's odd," said Kiyone walking over to the
     burnt spot on the floor.  It spread out in an oblong
     shape, the deck scorched as if an intense heat had been
     applied to it.  She knelt for a closer look.
          Pulling a pen from her pocket, she probed at a
     lump of goo near the center.  Part of it stuck to the
     end, reminding her of used chewing gum that had been
     left out in the sun.
          "Yeeuck," she sneered letting the pen drift.
     Glancing at the surrounding equipment, Kiyone stood up.
          "There was a fire, but I would say that was an
     after effect."
          "You mean who ever was in here committed . . .
     suicide?" said Ayeka.
          "I'm afraid so, but it must have been that or face
     what was trying to bash it's way through the doors."
     Kiyone scratched her head. "That goo though.  Humanoid
     life forms would leave some kind of ash even if they
     were using a chemical toxin.  If not from that, then
     the fire would have burnt up the clothing, but I don't
     see any residual particles."
          "If so, then for it to be so limited then that
     means that there was hardly any oxygen left in the
     space." Tenchi surmised.
          Kiyone's brows rose slightly.  She tapped her
     comlink.
          [Mihoshi.]
          [Uh, uh, yes?]
          [Tell me.  How did you restart environmentals?]
          [I just push the buttons.]
          [So there was no damage to the panels?]
          [Everything looks fine except for this green
     coolant drifting all over the place.]
          [Look for the leak, Mihoshi.  Once you find it,
     let us know and I'll be right down.]
          Cutting the link, Kiyone stood thinking.  "Life
     support had to have been shutdown on purpose.  Except
     for that coolant leak, there's no major damage in the
     engineering sections."
          "Then one of the factions aboard took over
     engineering and, dare I say this, began shutting down
     life-support around the ship," guessed Ayeka.
          "And to stop them, whoever was left first
     destroyed the bridge, then came down here and destroyed
     the computers," added Tenchi.
          "You could be right.  However; that still leaves
     the cargo hold," said Kiyone.  She tapped a finger to
     her chin, running theories through her mind.  "What was
     in the cargo hold?" she finally said.  [Mihoshi, we're
     heading down to the cargo area.  Meet us there.]
          [Why?]
          All three of them started, surprised by the
     question.
          [Because I might need you to run a bypass on the
     locks.  Now get your butt moving!]
          [But I've almost got all of the coolant bubbles
     picked up and--,]
          [Did you find the leak?]
          [No.]
          Kiyone clenched her teeth, shaking hard trying to
     control her anger.  Tenchi and Ayeka hid their smiles
     reminded of Mihoshi's impersonation earlier that
     evening.
          [Mihoshi!  Forget the coolant, forget the leak and
     get down to the cargo hold.]
          [Okay.]
          Kiyone started to shut off her comlink, paused
     then spoke again.  [And make sure your life screen is
     on before you get down there!]
          [Wow, almost forgot.  Thanks, Kiyone!]
          Smacking her head, Kiyone let out a frustrated
     sigh.  Tenchi patted her lightly on the back smiling
     cheerfully.  "Ah, guess the children need more care,"
     he joked.
          "Please, somebody take her off my hands," moaned
     Kiyone as she headed for the hatch.


                              * * * * *


          Entering the damaged section of the ship, the trio
     glided down the corridor to the emergency bulkhead
     sealing off the opened side of the ship.  Lighting was
     still out in this area, and Tenchi panned his light
     around.
          [Ryoko?] he called but got no response.
     Nervously, Kiyone slowly reached for her pistol,
     looking around for any sign of her.
          [Now where could she have gone?] Ayeka said moving
     up to the porthole.  Shining her light in, she could
     see the debris Ryoko reported to them earlier, then her
     light caught the body tied to the pipe.
          [Oh my!] exclaimed Ayeka drawing sharply back.
          [What's wrong?] asked Kiyone moving up next to
     her.
          Ayeka's breath was shallow, shock written on her
     face if she had just seen a ghost.  [That body inside.
     It has no head.]
          Kiyone looked in.  True enough the tethered body's
     head was gone, cut clean from the neck.
          [Murdered,] she said.  Her trained eye noticed no
     rips or gouges in the frozen flesh.  [Something razor
     sharp and fine edged.]
          [Let's worry about that after we find Ryoko,]
     Tenchi said.
          [That irresponsible woman,] growled Ayeka.
     [Picking this time to--,]
          ZZZOINK!
          The hiss from conflicting life-fields carried over
     their comlinks, a dull flash appearing over Ayeka's
     shoulder.  She squealed in fright, leaping towards
     Tenchi and they both drifted back against the far
     bulkhead.  Kiyone's pistol flashed from her holster as
     she turned, shining the light around.
          Hovering with a slow glide towards the bulkhead
     was Ryoko.  For a moment she held her hands to her
     face, then looked up.
          Kiyone relaxed.  [Ryoko,] she said.
          Ryoko stared at them, then let a slow smile come
     to her face.
          [Boo?] she said.
          [Not very funny, Ryoko,] replied Tenchi.  [Where
     were you?]
          Slowly Ryoko drifted over reaching out to hug him,
     but the hiss of the life-field stopped her.
          [I was up on the next level getting some fresh
     air, and looking for another way into this cargo hold.]
          [Find anything?] asked Kiyone.
          [The circulating vents started to look good, until
     I ran up against another emergency bulkhead.  You know
     these things are starting to annoy me.]
          [They served their purpose, unlike you,] snapped
     Ayeka.
          [Unlike you,] mocked Ryoko.  [Your reaction was
     worth it.]
          [Later, ladies,] said Kiyone.  [Right now I just
     want to get in here and get a look around before we
     leave.]
          Ryoko touched down to the deck.  [Well forget
     trying to gain any access through the doors,] she said
     pointing to the control panel.  It was shattered, the
     faceplate bent inwards as if hit by a strong blow.
          [More sabotage,] said Tenchi.  He peered closer,
     then rubbed his chin.  [Or maybe done to keep whatever
     it was inside from getting out.]
          [We won't know until we get in there and see if we
     can find anything that will give us a clue what the
     cargo was,] replied Kiyone.
          Ayeka shuddered.  [This is all getting very
     strange to me,] she said, peering around.  [I think it
     might be better if we let the back up unit conduct the
     search.  After all, they will be better equipped to
     handle any difficulties that might arise.]
          [Listen to you!] exclaimed Ryoko in a huff.
     [Chicken-shit princess all afraid to go and see what's
     behind door number one.  Feh.]
          [Chicken-shit!] cried Ayeka.  She rounded on the
     pirate, fist clenched to either side of her body.  [I
     am not chicken, or, or afraid of anything, Ryoko!]
          [Ha ha! Could have fooled me!]
          Before Ayeka could unload on Ryoko, Kiyone
     interposed herself between them.
          [We don't have time for bickering, ladies!] she
     shouted at them.
          [Tell that to the `Sensitive' princess over
     there,] mocked Ryoko.
          [Why you--,]
          [Okay, ladies,] Kiyone said in a terse tone.  The
     two backed away from each other, trading dark looks.
          Kiyone let out a low huff, shaking her head.  She
     looked at the locked doors again. [You might be right
     though, Ayeka.]
          Ayeka stuck her tongue out at Ryoko.
          [You want to wait for the back up unit?] asked
     Tenchi.
          [We can't get in there right away.]
          [How `bout going in through the outside?]
     suggested Ryoko.
          [Maybe.  I'm curious, but I'm not that curious.]
          [I second that motion,] Washu added.
          Her decision final, Kiyone suggested they head
     back to Yagami.  They were just about to leave, when a
     low rumble coursed through the ship.
          [What was that?] asked Ayeka.
          [Sounded like a thruster going off,] answered
     Ryoko.
          Tenchi gazed nervously around, eyes searching for
     trouble.  [Ah, let's like get out of here.  Now.]
          [Yeah, let's,] said Kiyone, and they began to
     hastily head back up the corridor.
          Meanwhile, Washu, and Yosho reviewed the scanners
     searching for the cause of the noise.  A beep sounded
     on one of Yagami's sensors, and she quickly called up
     the display.  Washu let out a short gasp, dashing back
     over to the comm panel.
          [Hey, Kiyone!  Did anyone hit any switches
     inadvertently while you were all down in Auxiliary
     control?]
          [Nothing that seemed to work.  Why?]
          [Because I'm picking up an energy reading from
     back aft.  It looks like one of the secondary drives
     has kicked in.]
          It only took a brief second for Kiyone to figure
     out who the culprit was.  [Mihoshi!] she shouted into
     her comlink.
          [Yow!  Do you have to be so loud?] cried Tenchi,
     holding his ears.
          Kiyone ignored him.  [MIHOSHI!]
          A light snapped on from ahead, startling and
     blinding them all in the same instant.  Mihoshi turned
     her light up towards the overhead and stared quietly at
     her friend for a moment.
          [I can hear you, Kiyone,] she answered in a level
     voice.
          In a flash, Kiyone was on her.
          [Mihoshi, did you turn on one of the engines!?]
          [No.]
          [Why you... No?]
          [No.]
          Stepping back, Kiyone glanced briefly back at the
     others, slightly embarrassed by her accusations.
          [Uh..., well I guess I'm wrong then,] she said.
          [Of course, silly.  Why would I just turn one on,
     when we need all of them,] said Mihoshi.
          [Yeah that would be... ALL OF THEM!]
          [You did WHAT!] cried Washu across the net.
          [I turned them all on.  Isn't that what you
     wanted, Kiyone?]
          [I told you not to touch anything!]
          [Oh, great!] said Ryoko, throwing up her hands in
     exasperation.  [Mihoshi strikes again.]
          Another shudder passed through the Qunatra,
     stronger then the last.
          [Is this thing going to start moving?] asked
     Tenchi.
          [No,] replied Washu.  [The scanners show all the
     thruster cores have been severely damaged.]
          [Which means, I'm afraid to ask?] said Ayeka.
          [That means that all of you are standing in a time
     bomb, and if my calculations are correct, its about to
     blow in... SEVEN MINUTES!]
          [GGGYYYYAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!]
          A flurry of bodies pushed themselves down the
     Qunatra's corridor in a mad dash for the safety of
     Yagami.
          In the control room, Washu and Yosho hurriedly
     prepared the ship for a rapid disengagement, each
     praying they would have time to clear the area before
     the upcoming blast.
          [Sasami, stand by to help the others in through
     the airlock.  Nobuyuki, break the connection as soon as
     the last person hits our deck!]
          Sasami and Ryo-Ohki dashed out of the control
     booth; Tenchi's father sitting himself down behind the
     console.
          [We'll be standing by,] he said, looking nervously
     over the myriad of buttons and levers.
          Inside the Qunatra, the boarding party finally
     reached gravity again and were thundering towards the
     airlock.  Kiyone's angry grumbles could be heard above
     their cries, every syllable a sharp barb directed at
     Mihoshi.
          [Oh, when we get out of this mess, Mihoshi!  I'm
     going to throttle you until that marble of a brain
     comes rattling out onto the floor!]
          [I'm sorry!] cried Mihoshi.
          [Stop your whining and run faster!] cried Ayeka
     behind her.
          They rounded a bend, then another sharp rumble
     shook the ship.  Tenchi tumbled, rolling head first
     into the open airlock; Ryoko sailing over him. Kiyone
     and Mihoshi both leaped over him, then Ayeka darted
     past.
          [Hey, wait for me!] he cried, scrambling to his
     feet.
          Washu monitored their progress, nervously eyeing
     the chronometer.
          [Hurry it up!  We've only got three minutes left!]
     she shouted.
          [We're almost there, Washu,] Kiyone answered.
     [Start disengagement sequence!]
          Nobuyuki tapped a button, hoping it was the right
     one.  The umbilical tube attached to the Qunatra's hull
     started to retract, but another sharp shudder wrenched
     the connecting probes against the sides, bending them
     at an odd angle.
          Kiyone reached Yagami's airlock doors and began
     beating furiously on them.
          [Open up, OPEN UP!] she cried, fist pounding
     against the metal.  Sasami frantically activated the
     pressure seals, watching the red gauge inching its way
     to green.  The rest of the boarding party joined Kiyone
     at the hatch, peering in with eyes full of terror.
          [Almost!] cried Sasami.
          [Two minutes, folks!  Nobu, why is the umbilical
     tube still attached to the Qunatra?]
          [I-I-I hit the disengage button, I think,] he
     answered.
          Yosho quickly brought up a status screen, letting
     out a hum as he looked over the readouts.  [We've a
     malfunction on the seating probes,] he told Washu.
          She rolled her eyes.  [Great!  Sasami--,]
          [I'm opening the hatch now!]
          A loud pop and hiss carried across the bay; Tenchi
     and company sprawling out onto the deck.
          [They're in, they're in!  Get us out of here!]
          [I can't.  The tubes jammed up somehow!]
          [Do an emergency breakaway!] Kiyone shouted.
          Nobuyuki anxiously looked over the console.  [H-
     How do I do that?] he said.
          Letting out a growl, Kiyone started to rise, but
     Mihoshi sprang past her, rushing up into the control
     booth.  Nobu toppled out of the chair to the floor as
     she pushed her way in, tapping a series of buttons with
     lightening speed.
          [Cover your ears,] she said, and with a loud clang
     of metal, the armored hatch slid down sealing the side
     of the ship.
          Several small explosions shook Yagami as the tube
     was blasted away from it's mounts.
          [We're free!] cried Washu.  She threw the frigates
     throttles forward, and the engines lit up propelling
     them out into the void.
          Down in the bay, everyone held on to what ever
     they could as the force of their departure pressed
     against them.  The bulkheads vibrated as the ship
     picked up speed, then another bright flash lit up the
     darkness outside.
          The Qunatra was enveloped in a burst of
     incandescent red, yellow, and orange sheets of flame as
     her powerplant finally gave way.  Bands of shockwaves
     radiated out into space; Washu turning up Yagami's
     shields as high as they would go.  It hit, shaking them
     around; cries and screams joining the loud din that
     accompanied the blast.
          Finally, it was over.
          Tenchi slowly sat up and looked around.  He rubbed
     his neck as he crawled over to Ayeka's inert form.
          "Ayeka?" he said, giving her a light nudge.
          The princesses head snapped up sharply, Ayeka
     letting out a gasp.  "Tenchi?" she said, looking over
     at him.
          He smiled.  "Good to see you're alive."
          A moan sounded form the corner; Ryoko slowly
     sitting up.  "Oh boy is my back screaming for a long
     soak in the hot tub!" she said, stretching her arms
     above her head.  She paused upon seeing Tenchi next to
     Ayeka, lips curling back into a sneer.
          "Hey, hey, hey!"
          "We didn't do anything!" Tenchi said in their
     defense.
          Ayeka wrapped an arm around one of his.  "Leave
     Lord Tenchi alone, Ryoko," she said.  "Can't you see
     his concerns are only for me, and not you."
          "WHAT!"
          Tenchi grimaced.  Gently, he pulled his arm free
     of Ayeka and stood up.  "I, I better go and see how
     Sasami is doing."
          Kiyone stood up and brushed her uniform off.
     "What a mess," she said while resetting herself.  A
     step in front found Mihoshi staring at her.  There was
     a strange look in her eyes, and Kiyone suddenly felt
     afraid.
          "What?" she asked her.
          "Oh, KIYONE!" exclaimed Mihoshi.
          The dizzy blond threw out her arms to embrace her
     partner, but Kiyone quickly scampered out of reach.
          "Stay off of me, Mihoshi!" shout Kiyone.
          "But I'm so happy you are alive!" replied Mihoshi.
          "No thanks to you!"
          Ayeka broke from her squabble with Ryoko.  "I must
     say, Kiyone, that if Mihoshi had not acted, we might
     all be dead right now."
          "I'd have to second that," added Tenchi; helping
     Sasami to her feet.  Ryo-Ohki let out a meow in
     agreement.
          Kiyone had to admit she was wrong.  "Well... I
     guess you actually did something right for a change.
     Even though you did cause the Qunatra to blow up."
          "YIPEE!" cried Mihoshi, moving towards her again.
          "But don't you hug me!" shouted Kiyone, a hand
     held out before her.
          Tenchi laughed.  "Say, dad.  Are you alright in
     there?" he called up to the control booth.
          Several short scuffing sounds were heard, and
     Tenchi frowned.
          "Dad?" he called again.
          "Huuuhu... uh... I'll be right down,... son,"
     Nobuyuki called down in a shaky voice.
          Tenchi took several steps towards the steps.
     "Dad, are you okay?"
          "I'm fine... Tenchi.  Just looking for my...
     glasses."
          "I'll come up and help you."
          "No, no, no!  You and the others go on ahead.  I'm
     sure everyone could use a little rest right now."
          Tenchi stopped.  "Are you sure?" he asked.
          "Go on, I'll be with you as soon as I find them."
          He shrugged.  "Okay."
          "Yeah, that's a great ideal!" said Ryoko.  She
     gave Tenchi a sly, seductive look.  "Wanna join me,
     Tenchiii, hmmm?"
          "Despicable cur!" growled Ayeka, stamping an angry
     foot on the deck.  Stomping over, she grabbed Ryoko by
     the collar, dragging her away towards the far hatch.
          "Come along, you misbegotten witch.  I too need a
     bath, and since I can't trust you alone, it will be
     better if we stay together."
          "Aw, I don't want'a go with you.  I WANT TENCHI!"
          "Be silent!"
          As the two disappeared through the hatch, Tenchi
     and Sasami traded snickers.
          "Well that's a break for a while," said Tenchi.
          "Yeah, now maybe we can finally get some rest,"
     replied Sasami.
          "Good idea.  Coming you two?"
          Kiyone shook her head.  "Naw.  I'm going to head
     up to the bridge and go over some of the data we took
     on the Qunatra."
          "Oh?  Something bothering you?"
          "Everything about that ship is bothering me.
     Besides, its already time for my shift again."
          "Oh, I'll stand in for you, Kiyone.  Please,
     please, please, please, please?"
          Mihoshi excited to stand double watch?  Kiyone
     gave her a wondering look, not sure where her crazy
     partner's mind had gone now.
          "Okay.  I'll be up to relieve you in a few hours."
          Mihoshi snapped to attention.  "You got it,
     partner!" she said cheerfully.
          With a brisk salute, Mihoshi headed off to her
     post.  Kiyone shook her head.
          "Never thought I'd ever see that," she said,
     walking over to the nearest wall communicator.  [Washu,
     Kiyone.]
          [Yes?]
          [Can you and Grandpa Masaki meet me in the lab.
     I'd like to go over the Qunatra data.]
          [Sure, we'll be down in a sec.]
          "Since you're going to be busy, I think I'm going
     to work out a bit.  All of that excitement has put me
     on the edge," said Tenchi.
          Kiyone laughed.  "And working out is going to
     help?"
          "Hey, relieves tension.  Later."
          Tenchi and Sasami left, leaving Kiyone alone in
     the bay.  She could hear Nobu still scuffling around
     the control room floor, and started to go and help him.
     "Ah, at last," she heard him say.
          "Guess he found them," Kiyone said, and with that
     headed for the hatch.

                          * * * * *

          An odd silence filled Yagami's interior, the late
     solar hours that simulated night passing with an eerie
     slowness.  Light steps were made down the central
     corridor; Tenchi heading towards the training room for
     some long overdue kendo practice.
          As the door slid shut behind him, Tenchi let out a
     long sigh.  Great, he thought, laying his towel across
     one of the benches.  Drawing in a breath, Tenchi began
     making slow sweeps with his arms through the air,
     moving in consummate grace, stepping gingerly and with
     refined poise though the required motions.
          A sudden leap; Tenchi curling up in a ball as he
     sailed across the room, landing next to a rack of
     bokken.  His hand pulled one off, turning it around in
     one fluid motion until it rest down at his side.  The
     bokken flashed up, and Tenchi went into a series of
     stances, weapon shifting and darting through the air in
     a rapid blur.
          He came to an abrupt stop, kneeling to one side,
     the bokken level with his body before him, then shifted
     drawing up into a defensive stance.  Tenchi snapped the
     bokken up and spun on one heel, letting out a cry.
          "Ggggyyyahhh... AHHHH!"
          Tumbling back, Tenchi wasn't expecting the
     presence of his father standing at the hatch behind
     him.  They stared at each other, then Nobuyuki began
     laughing.
          "What's so funny?" growled Tenchi, rising back up
     to his feet.
          Nobu chuckled, turning to shut the hatch.  He
     tapped a few buttons on the controls, then sat down on
     the bench.
          "Sorry about that, Tenchi, my son," he said.
          Tenchi picked up the bokken again.  "Geesh, dad.
     You could have given me some heads up you were coming."
          Nobu laughed again.  "Tenchi, Tenchi, Tenchi, come
     over here and sit down next to your father," he said,
     patting the spot next to him.
          "Dad, I'm in the middle of training."
          Nobuyuki's brows twitched.  For a moment Tenchi
     thought he saw a look of anger cross his face, but it
     was brief, fading away behind a smile.
          "Yes, yes, but I want to talk with you for a
     moment."
          "Can't it wait?"
          "No!  Now come here."
          Tenchi sighed.  Just no breaks, he thought as he
     walked over.  Suddenly he stopped, frowning at Nobu.
          "What's wrong, Tenchi?"
          Tenchi turned his head slightly to the side,
     eyeing his father.  "Dad, you saw me all the way over
     there?" he asked.
          Nobuyuki's brows furrowed together.  "Yes, Tenchi.
     Who else could I be seeing in this room?"
          Taking several slow steps back, Tenchi smirked.
     "So where are your glasses then?"
          Silence passed, an awkward silence that was
     suddenly cut by Nobu's chuckles.  He stood up, head
     shaking from side to side.
          "Oh, Tenchi, Tenchi, my son!  I broke them when I
     fell out of the chair in the control room."
          That would make you as blind as a bat then...
     dad," replied Tenchi, inching even further back.
          The chuckles stopped.  "What are you saying,
     Tenchi?"
          "I don't know, but I think I'd like you to leave
     now.  Please?"
          Nobuyuki hung his head, sighing deeply.  "Tenchi,"
     he said, then his voice dropped into a lower tone.
     "Yoouuuu doonnn't tttrustt yourrrr ooowwnn
     fffaaaathhherr?"
          His head came back up, and Tenchi gasped.
     Nobuyuki's eyes were blood red in color, black pinpoint
     pupils set in the center.  His mouth opened filled with
     shark-like teeth.
          "D-d-dad?!"
          The Nobu/Thing spread it's arms wide, moving
     towards Tenchi.  "Cccooommeee tooo mmeee,
     Ttttteennnchhhhiiii!" it said.
          Tenchi let out a cry dropping back into a
     defensive stance.  Immediately, the Nobu/Thing leaped
     for him, powerful legs propelling it rapidly through
     the air.  A quick roll by Tenchi saved his life and a
     hard smack followed.  Springing to his feet, Tenchi
     rushed over to the doors and hit the open button.
          Nothing happened.
          "Hey, what the?" muttered Tenchi.  Several more
     hard presses produced the same result, then a raspy
     laugh brought him around.
          "IIIttt woonnn't oopennn, mmyyy sssooon, heh, heh,
     heh, heh, heh," said the Nobu/Thing as it stood up.
          Tenchi stepped back and thrust his bokken out
     towards the creature.  "You stay back!" he cried.  "I'm
     warning you!"
          The creatures eyes glanced down at the wooden
     sword.  "Thhhatt will nnnoot hharmmm mmeee," it said.
          The crisp sound of snapping bone and cartilage
     could be heard, Tenchi grimacing as a dark spot of
     blood and other assorted juices stained the front of
     the Nobu/Thing's chest.  A tearing of cloth, then a
     series of sharp mandibles ripped out into view.  The
     new set of jaws slavered, snapping at him.  Two pink
     colored appendages snaked out writhing menacingly in
     the air.
          Tenchi's jaw sagged open in shock.  The creature
     made a step towards him, and he recovered, stepping
     back.
          "What have you done to my father?" he shouted.
          "Dddeeevououred hhimmm, lllike III'mm aabout tooo
     dooo tooo youuu nnow!"
          The thing attacked, but Tenchi was not about to
     wait around to be eaten.  He leaped, streaking by the
     monster, his bokken smacking hard several times about
     the creatures head and shoulders.  It let out a growl,
     staggering up against the far wall, then turned.
          Nobu/Thing's hands began to transform into long
     sharp claws.  It gnashed both sets of teeth together
     and charged Tenchi again.
          Once again, Tenchi side stepped, his weapon
     deflecting the heavy swipes over his head.  Each limb
     swished menacingly through the air, and Tenchi dived
     crawling swiftly around to the other side.  Suddenly,
     one of the tendrils shot out aiming for a leg.  Tenchi
     let out a yell, blocking the move with the bokken.  The
     vile appendage wrapped itself around the wooden sword,
     and it was jerked violently out of his grasp.
          "Hahahahaha Haaaa!" exclaimed the Nobu/Thing.  "I
     havveee yyouuu nnoww, Tenchii!  Accept your
     fffattteee!"
          "Never!" Tenchi shouted in defiance.
          The creature began stalking towards him, Tenchi
     frantically looking around for a anything to use as a
     weapon.  His eyes briefly stopped on the emergency
     override panel on the wall just above the bench.  That
     might be his only chance of escaping this monster, but
     first to gain some time.
          He picked up the bench, and heaved it at the thing
     with all of his might.  Nobu/Thing's head jerked back,
     the thick crack telling Tenchi that he had broken it's
     neck.  It flopped back onto the mats, thrashing
     violently about.
          Not waiting to see if it was dead or not, Tenchi
     ran over to the emergency switch. The glowing red
     button flashed slowly behind a pane of permaglass, but
     several desperate tugs found it jammed tight.
          "Ttthere isss nnooo essacppe, Tenchiii," he heard
     the Nobu/Thing say.
          A grating sound filled the air, Tenchi glancing
     over to see his father's mangled head extending up like
     the eye of a snail.  It leered at him, letting out a
     long hiss.
          "Oh, no you don't!" he said.  Reaching down,
     Tenchi grabbed the end of the mat.  As the thing rose
     up on it's haunches, he jerked back toppling it over,
     then covered it with what he had in his grasp.
          Loud roars filled the training room, but Tenchi
     ignored them, rushing back over to the emergency
     button.  He reared back and punched the glass, cracking
     it in places.
          "OW!" he cried, clutching his hand, fighting back
     his pain.  No time too waste, Tenchi repeated his
     action.  The glass was a spider-web of cracks, but it
     remained intact over the button.
          "Come on!" Tenchi shouted.
          A rip sounded, one of the Nobu/Thing's hands
     thrusting up into the air through a rip in the mat.
          "No!"
          Tenchi drew back, and with a sturdy, painful punch
     shattered the glass, activating the button.  An alarm
     sounded, and the door slid up.  By then, the thing's
     snake-like head and torso had pulled through the ripped
     mat.
          "Yyyuuooo ccann't escape meeee, Tenchiii!" it
     raged at him.
          "Oh no?  I'm outta here!"
          Tenchi leaped, diving through the open door way,
     several tendrils just barely cutting past the soles of
     his feet.  He was quick to his feet, yelling at the top
     of his lungs as he bolted down the corridor.

                          * * * * *

          Sasami awoke with a start, hearing a long cry
     echoing from outside in the corridor.  She looked down
     at Ryo-Ohki, then gathered the cabbit up running to her
     door.  Looking out, she saw Tenchi charging helter-
     skelter her way.
          "Tenchi?" said Sasami, stepping out into the
     corridor.
          "Sasami, RUN!" he cried.
          "Huh?"
          Tenchi knew there was no time to explain.  In a
     smooth grab, he snatched Sasami up by the collar,
     ushering her along.
          "TEEENNNNNCCCHHHIIII, HAHAHAHAHAHA!" called the
     Nobu/Thing from behind.
          Sasami heard the chilling voice and looked back.
     What she saw made the blood coursing through her veins
     go cold.  Tenchi's assistance was suddenly not needed,
     her legs shifting into full stride to open the distance
     between them and whatever it was in pursuit.
          Tenchi and Sasami's cries brought Ryoko and Ayeka
     out from their room.
          "What is going on?" asked Ayeka, shrugging into
     her robe.
          Ryoko yawned, stretching her arms.  "Whatever it
     is, it's causing me to loose sleep... huh?"
          They both started as Tenchi and Sasami closed,
     then let out terrified squeals as they joined them in
     flight away from the Nobu/Thing rumbling up the
     corridor.
          "Tenchi, what happened to your dad!" asked Ryoko
     as she caught, then passed him.
          "That's not my dad!" he answered, stepping up his
     pace.
          The four rounded a turn, desperately crying out
     for help.  As they raced for Washu's laboratory, the
     double doors suddenly slid open.  Washu, Yosho, and
     Kiyone stepped out, wondering what was the matter.
     They drew back in surprise upon seeing the creature
     lumbering after the four racing up the corridor towards
     them.
          Kiyone reacted first.  "GET DOWN!" she cried,
     drawing her blaster.
          "Like hell!" replied Ryoko.  The rumbled past,
     sliding to a stop behind them for protection.
          Kiyone opened fired, hitting the Nobu/Thing square
     in what was left of the chest area.  The blast forced
     it to stop dead in its tracks, a hideous moan of pain
     hurting their ears.  Kiyone clenched her teeth tight,
     fighting back her cries, and fired again and again.
          The creature staggered back with every burst,
     deformed skin scorching away from the energy.  Finally,
     it hit the far wall and collapsed.  It's limbs and
     appendages writhed about for a few seconds more, then
     abruptly stopped.
          Tired breaths were the only sounds heard as they
     all stared at the thing searching for any signs of
     life.  Finally, Kiyone lowered her pistol and turned
     around.
          "What the hell is that thing, and what is it doing
     on my ship?" she asked to no one in particular.
          Tenchi shuddered.  "Th-that was my d-dad," he
     replied.
          "What?" exclaimed Washu.  "Your father--,"
          "Nobuyuki?" gasped Yosho.
          Tenchi nodded.  "He... that thing came into the
     training room and tried to... devour me."
          "Oh, how disgusting!" exclaimed Ayeka.
          "Whatever disgusting things it was, how did it get
     here, and what happened to your father?" asked Ryoko.
          "It said it ate him," said Tenchi.  He swallowed
     hard, blinking back tears he wanted to shed.  "I think
     my dad is... dead."
          Sasami let out a moan, pressing her face into the
     side of Tenchi's leg.  He placed an arm around her
     shoulders, wishing his words were not true.
          "I don't want that, that thing onboard a second
     longer," said Kiyone.  "Let's find something to stuff
     it's carcass into and shoot it out the garbage tube."
          "Hold on, Kiyone," Washu said, stopping her.
          "What?  Its dead, Washu."
          But Washu ignored her.  Her eyes remained locked
     on the slimy mass, then a beep sounded from the
     elevator lift off to the right.  The doors opened and
     Mihoshi stepped out.
          "Hey everybody," she said in a cheery voice.  "I
     heard something that sounded like shots.  What's going-
     -,"
          "MIHOSHI GET OUT OF THERE!" they all cried out in
     unison.
          A hiss sounded, the body of the Nobu/Thing
     shuddering violently.  Several of the tentacles around
     Mihoshi's feet rose up to grab her, but they met
     nothing but empty air.  Mihoshi was a swift blur,
     leaping out of harms reach.  The detective landed
     almost at their feet, rolling to a stop at before
     Tenchi.
          "Are you alright, Mihoshi?" asked Tenchi.
          Mihoshi let out a cry, shooting to her feet.
     "OOOHHH, OOOOHHH, what is it, what is it!" she
     frantically said, hugging him tight.
          "Mihoshi will you get off me," growled Tenchi,
     fighting to break from her grip.  Kiyone grabbed her
     dizzy partner by the scruff of the neck, pulling her
     away.
          "Stop crying and act like a galaxy police
     officer!" she scolded her.  "Shoot this damn thing!"
          Mihoshi drew her pistol, and together they opened
     fired on the thing.
          It writhed and groaned, but it was apparent that
     all they were doing was angering it even further.
     Every shot was being replaced by some sort of claw,
     tentacle, or mouth attempting to stretch out and grab
     any of them.
          Washu finally told them to stop firing.
          "Well what do we do now?" shouted Kiyone, staring
     fearfully at the mass inching its way towards them.
          Washu smirked.  She stepped to the front and
     pointed a finger at the thing.  A small globe of orange-
     yellow light appeared, streaking out in a bright flash
     through the air.  It impacted against the creature, and
     in a second the monster was engulfed in flames.  A long
     moan pierced the air, then Yagami's computerized voice
     sounded across the PA system.
          [Warning!  Fire detected in the starboard
     amidships corridor.  Activating anti-fire system.]
          "No, no Yagami!" exclaimed Washu, but it was too
     late.
          A small probe extended from out of the overhead,
     bathing the flaming creature in a stasis field.  With
     the air cut out, the fires began to diminish.
          "Kiyone, deactivate Yagami's emergency system!"
     cried Washu.
          The detective rushed over to the nearest
     communications panel.  [Yagami, override code four two
     two, now!]
          [Acknowledged.]
          The stasis field disappeared, freeing the thing
     trapped inside.  It's many limbs shot out towards
     Washu, but she launched another globe, and it was re-
     engulfed in flames.
          This time they watched as it sizzled loudly,
     ranting and gnashing, unable to do more than that.  The
     smoke began to grow thick, and Kiyone instructed
     Yagami's environmental system to draw it out before
     they were overcome.
          Finally, the flames flickered down to a small glow
     of bubbling goo, the deck around it scorched black.
     Nobody dared to move, waiting to see if this was the
     final end.
          As the last ember died away, Washu placed her
     hands to her hips and turned around.
          "Once again, I am the greatest," she said.
          Tenchi, still wiping away Mihoshi's tears from his
     face and neck, shook his head.
          "Greatness or no greatness, Washu," he said.  "We
     still have a much bigger problem to face."
          "What's that?" asked Ayeka.
          Yosho answered for him.  "I think Ryoko said it
     before." He pointed a finger at the remains lying in
     the corridor.  "Where did that come from?"
          It was a good question that needed to be answered.
          Washu rubbed her chin in thought for a second.
     "Right.  I better scan what's left and see what I can
     find."
          "Scan it?" asked Ryoko.  "Pffth!  I'm not touching
     anything, nor am I going near it!"
          "Here, here," added Kiyone.
          "I don't want anyone to go near it at all either,"
     said Washu.  "Just give me a minute to invent something
     to scoop that mess up, and I'll start examining it
     right away."
          She headed back into her laboratory, pausing
     briefly at the doorway.
          "Don't anyone go anywhere, okay?"
          Letting out a humph, Ryoko sat down on the deck.
          "Believe me, you don't have to tell me twice," she
     said.
          Washu arched a brow, giving them all a strange
     look before going inside.

                          * * * * *

          Troubled eyes stared into the clear container
     holding what was left of the Nobu/Thing inside.  It was
     nothing more than a thick glob of black goo, a
     sickening sight to the see, intermixed with small bits
     of bone and other unidentifiable parts.
          Kiyone drew in a breath, sighing deeply as she
     walked over to the table where Washu was running a
     small bit of it through a bioscanner.
          "Find anything?" she asked.
          Washu let out several hums, eyes narrowing at the
     readout before her.
          "Cell and DNA structure is highly fluid.  A
     remarkable piece of construction and evolution if I may
     say so," came her answer.
          Over on one of the far stools, Tenchi sat with
     head held in his hands.  He looked to be grieving over
     his father's death, brief sniffles and sighs coming
     from him.  Hearing Washu's remark, his head snapped up.
          "Remarkable piece of construction?" he said in
     disbelief.  "Washu, this thing killed my father.  How
     can you be admiring it?"
          "I'm sorry, Tenchi," replied Washu.  "I didn't
     mean to make it sound that way, but it is an amazing
     lifeform."
          Ayeka stepped in then.  "It is a murdering beast,
     and we should be jettisoning this `thing' out into deep
     space."
          "Yeah, let's get rid of it!" added Ryoko.
          Washu turned off the scanner and turned around.
     "Yes, that's what we should do, along with whomever
     brought it aboard."
          Stunned silence followed.
          "W-what do you mean, Washu?" Kiyone fearfully
     asked.
          The tiny scientist stood up, eyes cutting from
     side to side.  "It's very obvious where this came from.
     The Qunatra."
          "No," said Sasami with a low gasp.
          "Yep.  And since we know who went over to the
     Qunatra, we know where to start looking."  She crossed
     her fingers, flexing them evilly.  "Don't we?"
          Ryoko stood slowly up.  She looked down upon Washu
     warily.  "Saaayyy... are you thinking that one of us
     might be one of these creatures?"
          "Ah ha," trailed Washu, returning the stare.
          "That is absurd!" shouted Ayeka.
          Kiyone chewed on her bottom lip nervously.  She
     paused, then turned back around looking at the stuff in
     the container.
          "Tenchi, does this stuff look familiar to you?"
          Tenchi peered over at the container.  "Yeah, now
     that you mention it, it sure does."
          "Looks like that goo we found in Auxiliary
     Control."
          "Did anyone touch it?" asked Washu.
          "No.  We used a pen to probe it," Tenchi replied.
          "Where's the pen?"
          "I left it in the goo.  Hey, Washu, I don't think
     I like your tone."
          Yosho cleared his throat.  "So you are saying this
     creature that killed Nobuyuki is a shape-shifter."
          "Yes," replied Washu.  "I don't know what level of
     intelligence it has, but it was smart enough to get
     aboard Yagami undetected.  That makes it intelligent
     enough to be dangerous."
          "How do we figure out if anyone else has been
     shifted?" asked Mihoshi.
          Washu smirked.  "Shifted," she muttered.  Washu
     glanced around at the others, then walked over to one
     of her dimensional lockers.  She rummaged through one,
     pulling out a small, white colored pistol with blue
     trim, and flask which she attached to a connector just
     under the barrel.
          "What's that for?" asked Kiyone.
          Washu did not reply.  She walked slowly back
     through them, eyes cutting from side to side, then
     stopped in front of Sasami.
          "Here," she said, handing the pistol to her.
          Sasami frowned.
          "Incase you have to... burn someone," answered
     Washu.
          "What are you saying!" shouted Ayeka.  "My sister
     is not going to burn anyone!"
          "She will if she's attacked!" snapped Washu,
     spinning around.  "Or do you want her to be absorbed,
     hmm, Ayeka?"
          "Don't be absurd!"
          "Alright, Miss know-it-all!" said Ryoko.  "Your
     jokes gone on long enough."
          Ryoko took a step towards Washu and the scientist
     stepped back, a finger held protectively up before her.
          "Don't come any closer, Ryoko," she said.
          "Why?  Scared that I'm might be some creature from
     one of those `Overfiend' OAV's?"
          "You could be.  I suggest all of you that went
     aboard the Qunatra surrender your weapons."
          "No," declared Kiyone.  "No, no, oh no.  I'm not
     about to become helpless in light of all that has just
     been said."
          "Here, here," chimed Mihoshi.  She started to move
     over to Kiyone's side, but the sudden draw of a pistol
     stopped her.
          "Kiyone?" Mihoshi said sadly, peering at the
     barrel pointed at her face.
          "Sorry, partner," Kiyone said.  "I can believe
     Washu's analogy.  I don't know who to trust right no,
     so let's just keep our distance, shall we."
          "K-K-Kiyone, you think I'm a monster?"
          Kiyone gazed into Mihoshi's innocent eyes,
     whishing she could say no, but the pistol remained in
     her face.  Mihoshi lips turned out in a pout, and she
     stepped slowly away.
          "Washu, does that mean Tenchi too?" asked Sasami.
          "I'm afraid it does for now, little one."
          Tenchi could see how hurt Sasami was.  She gave
     him a sad look, then slung the pistol's strap over one
     shoulder.
          He sighed.  "Can't say that I blame you."  Tenchi
     stood up.  "Okay, Washu.  What's next."
          "Let's jettison these remains out into the nearest
     star we can find.  Then, we'll address our current
     problem."
          "Finally something sensible," quipped Ryoko.
          "Hmm," grunted Washu.  "And since you're so much
     in agreement with the idea, you get to carry the stuff
     down to the airlock."
          "De-lighted," replied Ryoko.
          She went over to the container; Ayeka and Kiyone
     stepping aside.  She paused to give them both a short
     huff, then picked the container up.
          "This thing won't leak, will it, Washu?"
          "It will be a blessing if it does," muttered
     Ayeka.
          "No it will not," answered Washu.
          "Outta my then.  I want to get this thing off and
     on it's merry way to hellfire and oblivion!"
          "Might I suggest we all stay together," said
     Yosho.  "Just incase anyone has any `surprises' for the
     others?"
          Kiyone re-holstered her pistol, but made sure the
     safety remained off.  "Had every intention of doing
     just that, Grandpa.  Shall we?"
          Ryoko laughed, trundling off through the doors to
     the elevator, the rest of the group following right
     behind her.
          They were soon down in Yagami's main cargo bay,
     and Ryoko placed the container down next to the inner
     doors of the airlock.
          "Once we get this thing off the ship, why don't we
     all go back to the lounge and have something to eat,"
     she said, tapping the controls on the wall.
          "You're hungry?" questioned Tenchi.  "How can you
     be thinking about eating at a time like this?"
          "That's all she ever thinks about, Tenchi," Ayeka
     said.  "Eating and sleeping, sleeping and eating.  Lazy
     woman."
          "Oh, and like you do much more than I do,
     Princess," retorted Ryoko.  The doors slid back.  "Well
     I'll tell you, Miss Perfect Wonder, Sometimes you can
     be... (gasp)."
          Ryoko's face was turned down in a sharp wince,
     peering at something inside the airlock.
          Immediately, Kiyone's hand dropped to the butt of
     her pistol.  "What is it, Ryoko?"
          "Oh man... oh gosh... oh no, no, no!" stammered
     Ryoko.
          "Ryoko!  What's in there?" shouted Washu.
          Ryoko looked fearfully back at them, then stepped
     aside, allowing then to see the two disfigured husk
     lying at the center of the airlock floor.

                          * * * * *

          The grim duty of clearing out the disfigured husk
     that were once their family or friends went without
     incident, sucked out into the vacuum of space on their
     way to the nearest star.
          Once that was over, everyone remained in the cargo
     bay sitting somberly around in a loose circle
     reminiscent of their outings into the forest that
     surrounded the Masaki grounds.  Only there was no
     singing or friendly banter between them, just a
     heightened sense of tension and fear; even the
     slightest move eyed with suspicion.
          After several minutes, Tenchi looked over at
     Washu.
          "This has got to end," he said.
          Washu agreed, then Ryoko stood up and began
     stretching the kinks out of her back.
          "Well you all can sit here like frightened
     children," she said heading for the hatch.
          Kiyone's pistol snapped out of it's holster,
     stopping the pirate in her tracks.  "And where do you
     think you're going?"
          "I'm going to bed!" replied Ryoko, eyeing the
     barrel nervously.  "If you can recall, I was trying to
     get some sleep before our surprise guest from `Wicked
     City' made its appearance."
          "We said we were all going to stay together,"
     Tenchi reminded her.
          "But I'm tired!"
          "Sit," ordered Kiyone.
          The grim look she gave Ryoko conveyed the
     seriousness of the situation.  Reluctantly, the space-
     pirate returned to her spot on the deck.
          Kiyone eyed her, then slowly replaced her pistol.
     "Okay, now we have to figure out who it was that got
     absorbed, as Washu calls it, besides Tenchi's dad."
          "How are we going to do that?" asked Sasami.
          Washu shook her head.  "Well, I can try conducting
     a tissue scan of everyone.  That will definitely
     identify our thing."
          "Sounds good," said Tenchi.  He thought a moment,
     a dark thought briefly crossing his mind.  "But if it
     thinks it's about to be exposed, it might try to kill
     us all before we can gain the upper hand."
          "Huh?" questioned Washu.
          Tenchi shrugged.  "In the elevator where it's
     cramped, or maybe in one of the corridors.  After all,
     since we don't know which one of us is a thing, it
     might be one of us that's armed."
          His reasoning made the rest of the group shudder.
     The tension increased, suspicious looks passing between
     them all.
          "Why don't we just go back to when this all
     started," Yosho suggested.
          "You mean back to the Qunatra?" asked Washu.
          "Yes."  The elderly man stood up and walked to the
     center of the group.  Taking a moment to organize his
     thoughts, Yosho calmly adjusted his wire-rimmed
     glasses.
          "The creature was obviously the cause of the
     Qunatra's plight," he began.  "It somehow overpowered
     several of the crewmembers, then attempted to takeover
     the ship."
          "Without success," said Tenchi.  "What remained of
     the crew managed to disable the ship, stopping it
     cold."
          "Right.  So instead, and this is only my theory,
     it sent off a distress signal to attract another
     vessel."
          "What?" exclaimed Ayeka.  "You mean it wanted us
     to come there?"
          "Yeah," Washu said slowly, with a nod of her head.
     "Yeah.  It wanted somebody to find the ship and come
     aboard."
          Yosho let out a hum in agreement.  Placing a hand
     to his chin, he paced a for a few minutes, then
     continued.
          "I suspect also, the survivors of the crew
     realized what was going on.  So they destroyed the
     bridge, and attempted to demolish their auxiliary
     station as well."
          "But the thing managed to stop that," Kiyone cut
     in.  "Tenchi, that's why we found that puddle of goo.
     The person it was absorbing torched themselves to keep
     it from gaining another body."
          "Okay, but what has that got to do with us?" asked
     Ryoko.
          "Without propulsion, or a way to effectively
     navigate the ship, this monster had no option but to
     shut off all life support.  Apparently it can survive
     extreme cold as well as hard vacuum."
          "And froze itself until we cam along and thawed it
     out," said Washu.
          Mihoshi yelped, a shudder visibly shaking her
     body.  "Ooo, Kiyone.  This is beginning to remind me of
     our last camping trip we all took on Halloween,
     remember?  Telling ghost stories and spooky tales.
     Boy, I was so scared!"
          Kiyone stared at her partner, then pointed to the
     box in the corner behind Sasami.  "Go!" she directed
     Mihoshi.
          Mihoshi trundled off to sit in the corner, pouting
     and tapping the tips of her index fingers together.
          "Ghost stories," muttered Kiyone, rolling her eyes
     to the overhead in disbelief.
          Yosho found it difficult to hide his smile from
     Kiyone.  "Uh, yes.  Anyway, to answer how this concerns
     us, we have to reduce all of the options on when the
     creature gained contact with our boarding party."
          "We can rule out Sasami, and Ryo-Ohki," said
     Washu.
          "Yes, my sister could not have been taken by that
     monster," said Ayeka.
          "Ah-ah," Ryoko said, waving a finger at the
     princess.
          Ayeka spun angrily around.  "What do you mean `Ah-
     ah'?" she shouted.  "Sasami was here on Yagami!"
          "And so was Tenchi's pop too, princess."
          "Wha--, are you saying that my sister is a
     monster?"
          "Could be.  It seems to run in the family anyway."
          "Why I never!"
          Mihoshi called out to them.  "Oh, can we please
     talk about something else!" she whined timidly, fingers
     tapping faster.  "I'm getting real scared now."
          Sasami pulled Ryo-Ohki up closer to her chest.
     "So am I."
          "No!" shouted Ayeka.  She planted her fist on her
     hips.  "And now that you have conveniently destroyed
     what sounded like progress, maybe we should start
     thinking about testing, starting with you, Ryoko!"
          Ryoko shot to her feet.  "Oh, yeah?  Well, I'm not
     scared to have a test done on me, Ayeka.  Why don't we
     all just skip this speculating and go to the lab and
     test ourselves.  You first!"
          "You, you, you... I am not a monster!"
          "Says who?"
          "STOP IT!" shouted Washu.  Her angry glare made
     the two women turn away from each other in with a huff.
          Silence returned to the cargo bay.
          "Okay," continued Washu.  She ran a hand nervously
     through her hair, letting out a sigh to settle her
     down.   "We will test ourselves, but Ryoko is correct
     about Nobuyuki not being on the boarding party."
          "I'm getting really scared now," said Mihoshi.
          Washu ignored her.  "What happened when you guys
     returned to Yagami, Tenchi?"
          "A lot," answered Tenchi.
          "Details, we need details."
          Tenchi scratched the back of his head.  "We were
     all running through the boarding tube back to the ship.
     Somehow, we all managed to fall to the deck after a
     sharp jolt."
          "I'm getting rrreeeeally scared now," Mihoshi said
     again, more urgently.
          "But nobody was near your father then, right?"
          "Yeah.  He was in that booth working the
     controls."
          Kiyone gasped, body stiffening.  She stood ridged,
     eyes wide in fear.  "Yes," she said in a low, trembling
     voice.  "Yes, he was in there trying to disengage the
     tube from the Qunatra's hull, but he couldn't."
          Slowly, very slowly, Kiyone turned to face her
     partner seated in the corner.  "I was about to get up
     and help him, but, but--."  She took a fearful swallow.
     "Mihoshi ran in there and did it."
          All eyes locked on Mihoshi, the prevailing silence
     carrying the stunned realization hanging in the air.
          Mihoshi stopped her nervous tapping and looked up.
     "W-w-well," she began, gazing briefly back down again.
     "I guess I've been exposed."
          When Mihoshi looked back up, both eyes were blood-
     red.  Her mouth opened, the teeth spiked and razor
     sharp.  A long hiss sounded as the Mihoshi/Thing stood
     up.
          "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!" cried Sasami.  She
     stumbled back, falling to the deck; Ryo-Ohki spilling
     from her grasp.
          "GET UP, SASAMI!" shouted Kiyone.
          She drew her pistol, but the Mihoshi/Thing grabbed
     a corner of the box she'd been sitting on, flinging it
     towards her.  Kiyone dived but a corner hit her back,
     pistol knocked loose from her grasp.
          Both Ayeka and Ryoko were screaming now, backing
     away for the furthest part of the room.  Mihoshi's
     pistol flashed from her holster, several shots driving
     Tenchi and Yosho for cover.  Washu pointed a finger at
     her ready to incinerate the creature that had been her
     friend, but it spun and opened fire on her.  Letting
     out a cry in surprise, Washu dived out of harms way,
     scampering for the cover of a archway.
          With all immediate threats dispelled for the
     moment, the Mihoshi/Thing turned it's attention back to
     Sasami.
          "Coommmmmeeee tooo mmmeeeee, Sssaasssaaammiii!" it
     said, moving towards her.
          Tenchi looked up from his place on the deck.
     "Leave her alone!" he shouted, crying out as he rolled
     to avoid the blast fired at him.
          Sasami inched back; Ryo-Ohki hissing at the
     monster.  She cried, hands fumbling for the pistol
     Washu gave her earlier.  Mihoshi hissed at her again,
     then a rip sounded several tentacles extending up
     through the back of Mihoshi's uniform.
          "I won't hurt yoouuu, Ssaaasammiiii,
     hahahahahahah!"
          Washu leaned around the corner of the archway,
     snapping off a burst of energy at the thing.  It saw
     her, jumping back out of its path.  As the blast shook
     the cargo bay, the Mihoshi/Thing unleashed a furious
     barrage at Washu.
          Off to the side near the airlock, Kiyone grimaced,
     pain wracking her gun arm.  Seeing what was happening,
     she searched for her pistol, spotting it lying just
     ahead.  "Sasami... shoot it before it gets you," she
     said as she crawled across the deck.
          Sasami finally found the trigger of her weapon and
     lay with it pointed up at the monster coming for her.
     She began to cry, looking a Mihoshi's altered face,
     hesitating.
          "But it's Mihoshi!" she called out.  "Ayeka!"
          "Shoot it, Sasami!" cried her sister.  "Shoot it
     before you are eaten!"
          "MRRROOOOWWWW!" Ryo-Ohki yelped, ducking it's head
     into the bosom of Sasami's tiny chest.
          The Mihoshi/Thing approached again, unafraid by
     the apparently useless weapon this child wielded.
     Sasami moaned again, drawing another laugh from it.
          Finally, Sasami's cries dimmed.  She whimpered
     lightly as the thing stood poised, ready to entwine her
     in its grasp.  "I'm... I'm so sorry, M-M-Mihoshi!" she
     said, pulling the trigger.
          A solid stream of flame engulfed the
     Mihoshi/Thing.  It's eyes went wide, surprised by the
     burst.  It let out a steady wail; the pistol in it's
     grip firing briefly before falling harmlessly out of
     its hand.  Another burst forced it back into the
     corner, and there it writhed in hideous agony as the
     flames melted away its skin.
          The rest of the group stepped out of their hiding
     places, watching as what had been called Mihoshi, and
     their friend, passed through it's final through on its
     way to death.  As they watched in stunned silence, from
     the middle of the gooey mass Mihoshi's head extended up
     on the end of a stalk and looked sadly upon them.
          "...thank, thank you... s-s-sasami...," she said
     in a gentle voice.  "...thank youuuuuu--."
          The head and stalk slumped back into the fire.
          Tears erupted from Sasami, the young girl slumping
     over in grief.  Ayeka walked sadly over to her sister.
          "There, there, Sasami," she said, reaching out for
     a shoulder.
          Sasami whirled, aiming the pistol in her hands at
     Ayeka.  The Princess drew back, shocked by the terror-
     stricken look her sister gave her.
          "Sasami, its me, Ayeka," she said.
          It was no good, Sasami keeping her weapon trained
     on her sister.
          Meanwhile, Tenchi and Washu went over to help
     Kiyone with her injuries.  That was not to be, Kiyone's
     shaking hand pointing her pistol on them as well.
          "Don't you touch me!" she snarled.
          "But you're hurt," Tenchi protested.
          "I don't care!  I'm not about to take the chance
     of ending up like Mihoshi."  Her eyes drifted over to
     the smoldering mound of ash and goo.  "Mihoshi," she
     muttered sadly, a tear streaming down one cheek.
          Washu and Tenchi traded looks, then they both took
     several leery steps away from each other.
          "So what now?" asked Ryoko.
          Washu thought a moment.  "Let's get this mess
     pushed into the airlock, then we all go up to the
     bridge." She finally answered.
          "Why, what's up there?" asked Tenchi.
          Her brows furrowed together.
          "We've got to stop Yagami."

                          * * * * *

          "Yes, just as you thought, Washu," said Kiyone
     from the pilots chair of Yagami's bridge.  She turned
     the chair around to face the rest of her friends.
     "Mihoshi... that thing locked us on a course to Earth."
          "Damn!" muttered Washu, clenching a fist angrily
     in front of her.  "Kiyone, can you shut down the
     engines from here?"
          Kiyone turned back to the controls, tapping in
     commands to Yagami's computer system.
          "No, it locked us out here too."
          "Guess that means we have to take a trip down to
     the engine room and do it manually," said Tenchi.
          Ryoko, seated in one of the chairs to the left of
     the room, played nonchalantly with Mihoshi's pistol,
     twirling it about on one finger.  When she heard
     Tenchi's comment though, she stopped and sat up
     straight.
          "Why?" she asked him.
          "What do you mean why?" questioned Ayeka.
          Ryoko shrugged innocently.  "I mean why.  Isn't
     that where we want to go anyway?"
          "Yes."
          "So why stop?  Look, we found two husk.  Two husk,
     two creatures destroyed.  It's over!"
          "Not true, Ryoko," said Yosho, getting up out of
     the copilots chair.  "Mihoshi was taken on the Qunatra,
     Nobuyuki here.  That leaves one creature left
     unaccounted for."  His eyes cut from side to side,
     stopping on each of the astonished faces around him.
          "Someone is not who they appear to be."
          "Nooo!" wailed Sasami, bursting out into tears
     again.
          "He's right," said Washu.  "And with us heading
     towards Earth, we've got to stop Yagami and fast."
          Kiyone pursed her lips tight together, deep in
     thought.  She turned and tapped a button on the armrest
     of the pilots chair.  A panel opened exposing a keypad
     and readout.  Kiyone tapped in a few commands.
          "What are you doing, Kiyone?" Washu asked, her
     voice filled with suspicion.
          Kiyone finished, the panel closing shut once
     again.
          [Self-Destruct Activated] Yagami's voice announced
     to them all.
          "What have you done!" shouted Ayeka.
          "I've set Yagami's self-destruct to activate the
     second I utter the final command," answered Kiyone.
     Drawing her pistol, Kiyone tossed it over to Tenchi.
     He frowned, wondering why she did that.
          "Just incase you all have doubts about my
     sincerity," she told them.
           "Harrumph," sounded Washu.  She crossed her arms,
     narrowing an eye at the detective.  "Still does not
     clear you, but it is a good step in the right
     direction."
          "I don't think so!" shouted Ayeka.  "Now we will
     all be killed because Kiyone, if you are Kiyone, can
     just utter some magical word and blow us to
     smithereens!"
          "What are you so worried about?" asked Ryoko.
     "Can't you see if this thing gets to Earth, nobody will
     be safe?"
          Ayeka threw up her hands in frustration.  "I do
     not want to die in space!  Nor do I think it logical
     for us to sit by and allow Kiyone to wield such a
     threat over our heads!"
          "So what would you like us to do?" asked Yosho.
          "Make Kiyone turn the self-destruct off!"
          Tenchi's brows slowly rose up.  He tilted his head
     back, regarding Ayeka curiously.
          "Yeah, you would want us to do that," he said.
     Kiyone's pistol came up.
          Ayeka felt the accusing stares around her.  She
     began stammering, realizing what it was they were all
     thinking.
          "Now just hold on one minute," she said, a tremor
     in her voice.  "I am not a monster!"
          "That is debatable, Prin-Cess!" quipped Ryoko,
     standing up.
          Ayeka realized the trouble brewing around her.
     "You can't honestly believe I am one of those things!"
          "You are doing an awful lot of bitching
     considering our situation," said Washu.
          A frown appeared, Ayeka spinning around to Sasami.
     "S-Sasami.  You believe me, don't you?"
          Sasami drew fearfully back; Ryo-Ohki's voice
     rumbling in a deep growl.
          "Absurd!" cried Ayeka, facing the others again.
     "You all cannot accuse me without accusing the other.
     Why, why it could be Ryoko, it could be Kiyone.  It
     could even be you, Washu."
          "What!  Me?"
          "You were alone with Kiyone in your laboratory,
     along with Grandpa Masaki."
          Tenchi gazed down at Washu.  "Ew, she's right
     about that," he said.
          "Tenchi, you would think that I am one of these
     things?" said Yosho.
          "One left, and facts are facts."
          "Wait a minute, wait a minute," said Kiyone,
     waving her hands.  "We were all together on the
     Qunatra, Tenchi.  You, Ayeka, and I.  So there's no way
     we can be a thing."
          "Yes, yes true!" added Ayeka.  "Only Mihoshi and
     Ryoko were alone.  Isn't that right, Ry-Oko?"
          "Don't even try it, bitch!" snarled Ryoko.  She
     pointed the pistol in her hand at Ayeka.  "The husk
     were found here, not on the Qunatra.  Nice try."
          "Why don't we all just head on down to the lab and
     let me conduct my test," said Washu.  "That will clear
     things up right quick, no pun intended."
          "Yeah, and I think you should be the first, Ayeka.
     That is if you have nothing to hide," added Ryoko.
          Tenchi agreed.  "If you are innocent, Washu's test
     will--."
          He paused, a strange expression coming to Tenchi's
     face.  They waited for him to finish, but Tenchi just
     stared at Ryoko for a long moment.
          "What, what is it, Tenchi?" asked Ryoko.
          The pistol in Tenchi's hands turned towards her;
     Ayeka flinching aside as the shot hit Ryoko square in
     the chest.  She dropped her weapon, slamming back up
     against the bulkhead, and then crumpled down into the
     corner.
          "MMMMRRREEEOOOOOWWWW!!!!" cried Ryo-Ohki,
     struggling in Sasami's grasp.
          Meanwhile, Washu stood with her gunning finger
     pointed up at Tenchi; Ayeka, Yosho and Kiyone staring
     at him, shocked.
          "You better speak and speak fast, Masaki," said
     Washu.
          Tenchi's gaze never left Ryoko.  "Since when does
     Ryoko ever use a hand weapon?" he asked them.
          The answer was never, and they all turned to look
     at Ryoko's inert form.  Ryo-Ohki suddenly broke free
     from Sasami's grasp, rushing over to her fallen owner.
          "Ryo-Ohki, come back here!" called Sasami, rushing
     after the cabbit.
          Ryo-Ohki ignored her, climbing up onto Ryoko's
     chest.  She sniffed around at the smoldering hole, then
     mewed lightly at Ryoko's face.
          Suddenly, Ryoko's eyes snapped open, but they were
     blood red, the dark pinpoint pupils centered on the
     cabbit.  Ryo-Ohki hissed and drew back.  The crack of
     bone sounded, Ryoko's chest splitting open beneath Ryo-
     Ohki's feet.  One last cry, then the cabbit disappeared
     into the gap, and it closed up around her.
          Sasami screamed, hands held to her mouth in
     fright.  The Ryoko/Thing's head looked over, mouth
     opening to spit a large glob of pea-green goo that
     splashed into the child's face and chest.
          "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" cried
     Sasami as the writhing mass began to absorb her.  She
     fell back, quivering on the deck.
          Tenchi and Washu stepped aside, ready to pour it
     into Ryoko, when Ayeka let out a yell.  She interposed
     herself between them, glaring angrily at Ryoko.
          "YOU IDIOT!" she cried.
          Shock covered Tenchi, Washu, Yosho, and Kiyone's
     faces as Ayeka's hair came alive, rising eerily up
     around her head.
          "I told you I would do that!" she hissed
     furiously.
          The Ryoko/Thing looked up at it's companion.
     "Well, you're too late, Prrincesss," it hissed back.
          Yosho stood trapped between the two monsters.
     "Kiyone, do it now!" he cried.
          SWISH!
          Kiyone's voice was cut off in a gurgle of blood as
     the Ayeka/Thing's hair sliced her head neatly away from
     the rest of her body.  It bounced to a stop at Tenchi's
     feet, then a cry from Yosho startled him.
          A mass of tendrils were rooted into his back,
     Ryoko/Thing's hair snaking it's way up through the
     surface of his skin.  He dropped to his knees, tears of
     pain streaming from his eyes.  They opened, and Yosho
     let out a groan.
          "Run!" he told them, before Ayeka/Thing's hair
     pushed it's way into his stomach.
          Washu stepped back and pointed her finger at them,
     but suddenly Tenchi stood blocking her shot.  She
     looked up at him, wondering what he was doing, then
     Yosho called for them to run again.
          There was a reason why, and with quivering hands,
     the old man pulled an oval shaped object out from a
     sleeve.  Washu immediately recognized it to be a
     firebomb from one of her dimensional lockers.  There
     was nothing they could do for Sasami; her whole body
     stretching and shifting as the goo covering her did its
     deadly deed.  Trading looks, Tenchi and Washu dashed
     for the hatch.
          The blast rocked Yagami hard, supports and other
     parts of the ship violently breaking free from their
     mounts.  Smoke enveloped the corridor, then Washu felt
     something hard hit her across the back of the
     shoulders.
          She fell as a crossbeam pinned her to the deck,
     and for a second lay in a stunned stupor, pain running
     down the length of her body.
          As the shock passed, Washu managed to regain some
     semblance of her wits and looked up.  The emergency red
     lights were on, a thick haze clouding her vision.
          "Uh... ooohhhh... Tenchi!" called Washu.
          Slow steps could be heard, then out of the gloom
     Tenchi appeared.  He walked over and stopped, staring
     down at Washu's prostrate form.
          "Oh, oh, Tenchi, am I glad to see you."
          Tenchi remained silent.  He knelt down, examining
     her injuries for a moment.
          "I think, I think I might have some spinal injury,
     Tenchi," said Washu.  "If you can get this off me, my
     medical machine in my lab can have me back in one piece
     before you know it."
          Tenchi smiled.  "Sure, but one thing first," he
     said gazing briefly back down the corridor.
          "What's that?"
          He looked back, eyes blood-red, dark pupils
     trained on her.
          "What makes you think I'm Tenchi?" the
     Tenchi/Thing said in a deep, warbled voice.
          Washu screamed loudly as Tenchi's hand reached for
     her face.

______________________________________________________________________
_________________________

Author's note #2:  Hey, I know this isn't really Anime, but I'm a big
fan of Hank Hill.  Thought this one would go nice with the other
story, after all they, along with a few more, were meant to be sent
together.  If anyone knows where I can find a King of the Hill
fanfiction site, please let me know...


                    Sheriff of Ghost Town
                     (King of the Hill)


          10:30 AM

          Dust swirled along Interstate Thirty-Five, the
     suns scorching heat drawing out what little moisture
     held in the ground.  Along the baked asphalt road a
     small caravan of cars traveled, daring the long trek
     south towards San Antonio.
          Hank Hill had seen hot days throughout his life in
     Texas, but today this one went well beyond scorching.
     Even with the air conditioner on, it still felt like
     somebody had them under a magnifying glass hell bent on
     frying him and his family alive.
          Adjusting his glasses, Hank looked over to his
     wife, Peggy, to see how she was holding up.  Quiet, as
     usual, Peggy had her seat leaned slightly back reading
     a road map in her hands.  At least for now she wasn't
     complaining about being lost for the umpteenth time
     ever since they started this part of the trip.
          Looking up in the rearview mirror, Hank could see
     his son Bobby playing another round of Mega-Golf Pro on
     his GameBoy; Luanne Platter, his niece staring somberly
     out the window.  He knew this moment of solitude
     wouldn't last for very long, but enjoyed the moment
     concentrating on the road ahead.
          Peggy suddenly folded the map with a sharp snap,
     reconfiguring it on a certain portion.
          "You see here, Hank," she said pointing to a spot
     on the paper.  "Now if we had taken that right turn at
     the Waxahachie turnoff we would be cruising through
     cooler plains on the way to Houston.  But no, instead
     you wanted to head straight through the devils
     backyard."
          Hank let out a sigh.  "Peggy, it's the straightest
     route to San Antonio.  Why can't you understand this?"
          "Because I am boiling over here, Hank Hill.  It
     has got to be a least one hundred and ten degrees
     outside if not more."
          "Peggy, honey, we've been through this before.
     Why waste gas on an extended trip to Houston, when we
     can be in San Antonio in another four hours?"
          "Because it's cooler, there's more places to stop,
     and the chili cook-off is not until tomorrow."
          Another frustrated sigh, Hank Hill slowly shook
     his head.  "I can't win for loosing, can't I?"
          Peggy eased up on a bit.  "Hank," she said
     reaching out to touch him tenderly on the arm.  "I'm
     not downing you, but what's one extra day?  We won't
     miss anything."
          "I want to get into town so I can get the chili
     on.  You know the Hill spices have got to be added just
     at the right time or else it loses its bite."
          "Now there'll be plenty of time for all that,"
     replied Peggy.  "I just wish we would have thought
     about starting this run at night instead of the
     morning.  It's just to darn hot to be out on the road
     like this, and it's not even noontime."
          "Well the kids aren't complaining."  Hank looked
     up into the rearview mirror again.  "What about you,
     Bobby.  Is it to hot for you?"
          Bobby looked up from his game.  "Huh?  Oh, I'm
     okay.  I'm `bout ready to break down Tiger Woods in the
     Maui Playoffs."
          Somethin' just ain't right with that boy, thought
     Hank.  "How `bout you, Luanne?"
          Luanne said nothing, continuing to stare out the
     window.  He frowned.  "Luanne?" Hank called again.
     Same response.  "Is she upset with me or what?" he
     asked Peggy.
          Peggy turned around.  "Luanne, honey," she called
     reaching out to tap her on a knee.  Luanne started,
     pulling a pair of miniature headphones from her ears.
          "What'cha need, Aunt Peggy?" she said.  Hank's all
     too familiar sigh sounded, Peggy smiling.
          "Nothing, honey.  Go back to what you were doing."
          Luanne turned off her Walkman.  She edged up,
     leaning forwards between the two seats.  "Uncle Hank,
     when are we supposed to get to San Antonio?"
          "About another two hours," he answered.
          "Oh," she sighed.  "I hope we come across a 7-11
     soon.  This heat is drying me out."
          "Well what happened to all of those Cokes we put
     in the cooler?"
          "Bobby drank the last one just as we left Waco."
          "I tell you, Peg.  These children nowadays just
     eat to darn much!"
          "Now stop it, Hank," replied Peggy.  "Luannes'
     right.  The heat is just to much for anyone not to want
     to drink a lot."
          "I suppose.  We should be come'in across something
     here in a little bit."
          Peggy gazed out at the passing countryside.  The
     dry open prairies and distant mesa only made increased
     the parched feeling in her mouth.  There was something
     more though.  She could not place it, but this part of
     Texas just didn't seem right to her.
          "You know, Hank.  I've been this way to San
     Antonio before, but for some reason, I just can't place
     where we are."
          "Now don't you start with that we're lost stuff
     again," said Hank.
          "I'm not saying we're lost.  Did you hear me say
     anything like that?"
          "No, but you implied it."
          "I heard that when people are drive'n in the
     desert for a long time, that the heat causes them to
     like imagine that they're going the right way when in
     reality that aren't," Luanne said.
          Why me, Lord, Hank asked himself.  "Luanne, you
     really have to stop reading all of those trashy
     Tabloids.  They fill your mind with garbage."
          "I didn't read it in no tabloid.  I saw it on the
     Discovery Channel, right after National Geographic."
          "Peggy,"
          "Luanne, why don't you sit back and leave your
     Uncle Hank alone.  He's trying to drive."
          "Okay."
          Luanne sat back, Hank letting out a relieved sigh.
     Peggy's giggles made him smirk.
          "Don't start, Peggy."
          "I ain't saying a word, Hank," she replied.
          A horn blared suddenly, Hank looking up to see the
     truck behind him inch closer to his bumper.  The horn
     sounded again, and Hank knew he'd have to stop.  They
     pulled off to the side, the rest of the vehicles
     pulling up behind them.
          "Now what's wrong?" said Hank as he opened the
     door.
          "I'll bet I know, but you don't want to talk about
     it," said Peggy.
          "Grief," muttered Hank, shutting the door.
          From the driver's side of the truck, Dale Gribble
     stepped out, walking over to Hank.  With a NRA ballcap
     set down low on his head, a pair of flip-up shades,
     Dale reminded Hank of a walking scarecrow in bluejeans.
     Sometimes comical, sometimes demented, Dale was one of
     Hank's longtime friends and colleague always ready to
     share a beer or two on a lazy afternoon.
          "Hank," said Dale in his usually scratchy voice.
     "Where in the hell are you taking us?"
          "Where do you thing, Dale?" replied Hank.
          "Oh, I don't know.  China maybe?"
          Hank flinched sharply at the comment.  "Now that's
     a silly thing to say!  How can we be going to China in
     the middle of Texas?"
          "It's a figure of speech, Hank.  What I'm say'n
     is, I think we're lost."
          "Not you too."
          Three more men appeared joining the conversation.
          "Hey, uh, Hank.  What's going on?" asked Bill
     Dauterive; a short semi-bald man with a heavy frame.
          "I'll tell you what's wrong," started Dale, only
     to have Hank cut him off.
          "No, you won't.  We're just stopping to get our
     bearings, that's all, Bill."
          "Oh.  I-I thought for a minute there we was lost."
          "I think Bill have it right," said Kahn
     Souphanousinphone, the only Laotian Texan Hank could
     remember in Arlen.  "Hank Hill lead us straight into
     desert to die."
          "I did not lead us into no desert, Kahn!"
          Boomhauer, the rapid talking ladies-man of the
     neighborhood, agreed with Bill.  "Youknow t-t-
     thatgoshdarnheat c-cominoffthisroadcan m-m-
     makeapersonseeandthinkstrangethings.  Real strange."
          Hank let his brain decode the words for a moment.
     "Discovery?" he finally said.
          "Yep," replied Boomhauer.
          Shaking his head, Hank sighed.  "Guys, we are not
     lost."
          "Okay, so what are we?" asked Dale.
          "We're just a few hours away from San Antonio.
     Hell, we should be coming up on Austin here pretty
     soon."
          "I don't know, Hank," said Bill.  "This don't look
     anything like the outskirts of Austin to me."
          "I haven't seen a sign or any traffic coming or
     going in the last thirty miles," added Dale.  "You
     wanna explain that?"
          Unfortunately, Dale's observation was very true.
     Hank noticed the absence of traffic on this stretch of
     road, and it did not seem right.  Come to think of it,
     he was sure that he'd passed that mesa several times
     back.
          "Uh, maybe we've just hit the highway at the right
     time," he suggested.
          "That it, we lost," commented Kahn.
          Ignoring his neighbor's remark, Hank opened the
     door.  "Peggy, hand me the map, will you."
          Peggy passed it over, then got out.
          "Howdy, Peggy," Bill said.
          "Hello, Bill.  I see you guys have figured out
     we're lost too."
          "For the last time we are not lost!" shouted Hank.
     He spread the map out on the hood and studied it.
          "Well, Daniel Boone.  Where are we?" Dale teased
     him.
          "Don't bother me, Dale," snapped Hank.  He studied
     the map a bit more, then pointed at a small section.
     "We should be here," he said.  "About halfway between
     Temple and Austin."
          Dale flipped up his shades, gazing around.  "Nope,
     don't look like that stretch of road to me."
          "Yeah, this area looks more like the ground
     between San Angelo and Del Rio," added Bill.
          "HeyYoMan,wegonnasithereallday,orwegonnagetamoveon
     ?" asked Boomhauer.
          "Hank, honey.  Admit we're lost and lets backtrack
     and find us a gas station.  Please?" Peggy said.
          Hank sighed.  "Oh, alright.  We'll turn around and
     go ask for directions just like tourist."
          "Now why we do that, Hank Hill?" asked Kahn.
          "You got a better suggestion?"
          "Yeah.  Why don't we just go to town over there?"
     he said.
          Not far up the road they could all make out a
     group of wooden buildings, a dirt road turnoff winding
     across the plain.  Peggy let out a short gasp.
          "Oh my lord," she said placing a hand to her
     mouth.
          "Now where that come from?" wondered Bill.  "I
     don't remember see that over there."
          "Neither did I," said Peggy.
          "It'sthisdoggoneheat," Boomhauer said.
          "What difference does it make.  It's a town with
     people," Hank pointed out to them.  "Better than
     turning around, now let's go and get back on track."
          They all went back to their vehicles.  When Hank
     saw they were ready, he turned the car off onto the
     dirt road and headed for the town.
          It was a fairly smooth ride, not to much in the
     way of normal roads, but still traversable even in the
     Ford Escort.  Strange, thought Hank.  Can't see the
     main highway now.  Hmm, guess it's just hidden from
     view.
          The caravan followed the road for a few minutes
     longer, then maybe half a mile outside of the tow it
     abruptly stopped, turning into a dirt trail.  Peggy
     pointed to an open lot filled with cars.  Hank turned
     into it.
          "Hank, do you notice something strange about these
     cars?" asked Peggy.
          "No.  What's so strange about them?"
          Peggy nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip,
     gazing around.  Some of the cars were fairly recent
     models, but as they drove further into the lot, it
     started to look more like an antique car show.
          "Hey, is that a 1963 Mustang Soft-top?" Hank said.
          "My goodness it is.  You know how rare that is?"
          "Hey, everybody!" exclaimed Luanne.  "Look'it over
     here.  That's a '38 Bonneville!"
          "Wow," gasped Bobby.
          Hank smirked.  "Well if this is a collection
     somebody needs to wash these cars.  This is a gold mine
     wait'n to be taken."
          An open space appeared ahead, Hank pulling in.
     They all got out, joined by the rest of the group.
          "Well, looks like we need to walk into town from
     here," said Dale.
          "Why I can just roll into town in m'truck if
     that'll cut down on time," Bill suggested to Hank.
          "There got to be reason why dirty cars not allowed
     into town," said Kahn.
          Minh, Kahn's wife, thumped him hard on the
     shoulder.  "Kahn, shut up with silly ideas," she said.
          "That may not be so silly, Minh, dear," Nancy
     Gribble said.  "I've heard of ghost towns being rebuilt
     for tourism, and that anything modern was not allowed
     in the streets.  Might break up the setting, know what
     I mean?"
          "Yeah, I heard of that too," added Peggy.
          Boomhauer, inspecting a 1977 Duster, looked over.
     "Ttthatdon'texplainwhaythesecarsarelikeabandoned,yo."
          "In any case, we need to get into town and get
     some directions," said Hank.  "Peggy, you and the girls
     stay here."
          Peggy took a quick look around at the abandoned
     cars.  A foreboding shudder passed through her body.
     "Ah-uhn.  No way Hank Hill are you leaving us behind in
     this dead junkyard."
          "But it will be cooler in the cars than walking--
     ,"
          "No, Hank.  We are going with you!"
          "I think we'd all feel a bit better together
     there, Hank," added Nancy.  "Besides, I need to go to
     the bathroom anyway."
          Hank gave in.  "Okay, if you want to walk in this
     heat.  Let's get the kids and . . ."
          Just then they noticed that their children were
     nowhere around.
          "Bobby!" called Peggy.
          "They're over there," Luanne said pointing towards
     the end of the lot.
          The three young children stood staring out across
     the open desert apparently watching something.
          "Joseph Gribble!" called Nancy to her son.  He
     turned, black hair shimmering beneath the scorching
     midday sun.  It was in direct contrast to both parents,
     Dale a brunette; Nancy, a blonde, but nobody ever paid
     it much mind.  He smiled, waving them over.
          "We ain't got time!" said Hank.
          "Kahn Junior!" called Minh to her daughter.  "Dien
     Kao Binghn Tao!"
          Kahn Jr. smirked.  "What did you say, mom?"
          "Oh, America!" Minh growled rolling her eyes up.
     "I said get butt over here!"
          Bobby turned around.  "But this is neat.  Come
     take a look."
          Angrily the adults went over wondering what held
     their children's attention.  Joseph was staring out
     through Kahn Jr's binoculars at a hill not far from the
     town.
          "Joseph, didn't your moma tell you to get your
     butt somewhere?" Dale scolded his son.
          "But Mister Gribble, this is neat," Bobby replied.
          "We ain't got time for sightseeing," Hank said.
          "Come on, dad.  Take a look!"
          Hank frowned, then sighed.  Taking the binoculars,
     he looked through them at the hill.  They could all see
     his head flinch slightly.
          "What is it, Hank?" asked Peggy.
          Hank took a brief look again before answering.
     "It's a cemetery."
          "A cemetery?"
          "Yep.  Complete with gate, headstones and plots
     just like out of the westerns."
          "I'm tell'n you Peggy, its all part of some
     tourist exhibit," said Nancy.
          "Mom, can we go and look?" asked Bobby.
          "Certainly not, Bobby Hill," Peggy quickly
     answered.  "Traipsing around in a cemetery is not my
     idea of enjoying an afternoon.  Besides, would you want
     somebody running around trampling your final resting
     spot, hmm?"
          "Well, I guess it'd be alright since I'd be dead
     anyway."
          Peggy placed a hand to her face, shaking her head.
     "My lord these children nowadays," she muttered.
          Bill chuckled a bit.  "Say, Hank.  Don't this like
     remind you `bout the time ol'Cotton sent us out to the
     cemetery back home to look for ghost on Holloween night
     when we's was kids?"
          "Please, don't remind me," answered Hank.
          "Cotton?" questioned Nancy.  "Your daddy sent you
     to a cemetery on a night like that?"
          "It was a prank, Nancy.  Part of our initiation
     into the Order of the Straight Arrow."
          "Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, Hank here got the
     willies scared out of him that night," said Dale.
          "Yeah,gitonol'Cottonsentourdaddysonaheadtoscarethe
     lifeout ofus, talkin'bout
     WooWooWooWoo,cominupfrombehindthemtombstones.  Scared
     the life outt'a us," added Boomhauer.
          "He,he, Hank was six shades whiter than a
     blizzard," said Bill.
          "I was pale from m'cold!" said Hank.  "And if I
     remember correctly, the rest of you broke several land
     speed records scurrying back home."
          Kahn shook his head.  "Oh, that why you have so
     much bad luck, Hank Hill.  In Laos, playing around
     sacred grounds means instant trouble for life."
          "I'm not cursed!"  Hank paused, drawing in a sigh.
     "Look, lets just get ourselves into town, okay?"
          "Yep, it's getting hotter anyway," Dale agreed.
     "Never been to a ghost town.  I'm kind'a curious."
          "Probably full of useless trinkets and junk," said
     Hank.
          Handing the binoculars back to Joseph, Hank
     started out down the trail.  As the rest of the group
     followed, Joseph took one last look out at the
     cemetery.  He panned along the tombstones, then stopped
     staring at what appeared like a young girl of his age
     standing among them.  He wasn't sure, but it was as if
     she was staring back at him, aware of his presence.
          "Joseph come on!" called Dale.
          "I'm coming," he replied.
          Joseph looked back but the girl was gone.  He
     blinked; thinking that it was some sort of mirage and
     ran to catch up with the others.

                              * * * * *

          11:00 AM

          A large sign at the outskirts of town greeted Hank
     and his group.  `Justin' it read in dark black
     lettering.  Hank stared at the name for a moment.
          "Don't remember no town of Justin in this here
     part of Texas," he said.
          Dale held a map open searching for a match.
     "Ain't got nothing here either," he said.
          "It's a ghost town tourist trap," said Nancy.
     "The place probably was here, but died out once
     business moved on to the larger areas."
          "Makes sense," said Hank.  He looked back up at
     the sign and scratched the back of his head.  Just
     didn't seem right to him though.
          The sound of someone playing a harmonica suddenly
     caught his ears.  Hank looked over and there sitting in
     the sparse shade of an old rundown fence sat an old
     man.  His clothes looked weathered desperately in need
     of tailoring in some spots, boots cracked and dirty
     after being abused for so long in this harsh
     environment.  A gray, western style hat sat tipped down
     low on his brows, and he played a slow, aimless tune
     across the harmonica oblivious to their presence.
          Hank and Dale traded looks.  "Well, let's ask him
     where we are," said Hank.
          They went over to the where the old man sat and
     listened to him for a moment.  Hank cleared his throat
     to get his attention, but the old man kept right on
     playing.
          "Excuse us!" he said more forcefully.
          The old man stopped.  Slowly, his head tilted up
     towards them.  "Some'n I kin do you folks fer?" he said
     in a slow raspy drawl.
          Hank felt his resolve suddenly slipping away.
     Staring at the old man's face, he could not tear his
     eyes away from his hollowed gaze.  It was almost as if
     he were being hypnotized.
          Blinking sharply, Hank found himself again.  "Uh,
     yes.  We are like kind'a lost and need some help
     getting to San Antonio.  Think you can point us in the
     right direction?"
          A strange silence passed, the old man staring at
     them still as a rock.  Worried glances were exchanged
     between the group then a twitch of an eye from the old
     man was seen.
          "San Antonio, eh?" he said.
          "Yep.  We're going to the Annual Alamo Chili
     Cookoff's," replied Hank.
          "Cookoff's . . . hmph."
          Dale tipped his cap up, staring to grow impatient.
     "Hey, old fella.  Think you can like tell us if we're
     headed in the right direction?"
          "Dale, honey, don't pressure the man," Nancy said.
          "I'm just wondering what all the mystery's about."
          The old man looked at him.  "No mystery there
     stranger," he said, and with that turned around to
     resume playing his harmonica.
          Everyone gazed at him perplexed, not sure what to
     do next.
          "Uh, so does this mean you can't help us?" asked
     Hank.
          The old man stopped.  "Yep," he replied.
          "Well is there somebody that can?"
          "Yep."  He pointed a thumb back over his shoulder
     towards the town.  "The Mayor, Ben George.  He'kin tell
     yuh probably."
          "Thank you," Hank said with some exasperation.
     "Come on people."
          As they started off, the old man suddenly stopped
     playing again.  "You folk's sure you want'ta go in
     there?" he called to them.
          "Why, is there something we should know?" replied
     Hank.
          "Almost noontime."
          "So?"
          The old man narrowed his brows but said nothing,
     turning back around to his harmonica playing.
          Hank paid him no mind, continuing into town.

                             * * * * *

          Excitement ran through the children as the group
     reach the main street of Justin.  Everything was
     straight out of all the old western movies they had
     ever seen.  Cowboys walked the wooden sidewalks,
     townsfolk hustling by back and forth between buildings
     running their daily errands.  True enough, not a sign
     of modern living could be seen.  No telephone poles, no
     cars, no Direct T.V. dishes.  This was truly a work of
     art, and even Hank had to admit it was a sight to see.
          "This is pretty good," said Bill.  "Feel like I'm
     in High Noon."
          "Yeah, this is quite impressive," Hank said.  "I'm
     not sure this place is not publicized more."
          Bobby suddenly tugged on his shirt.  "Dad, dad,
     can we look around?  Please!"
          "Well, Bobby we might not be here that long."
          "But I just want'a take a look.  This might be
     m'only chance to see something like this!"
          Pondering his son's request, Hank looked around
     spotting a couple walking up the street towards them.
     Motioning Bobby to wait a moment, he turned towards
     them.
          "E'scuse me.  Can you tell me where I can find a
     tourist guide or something for directions to San
     Antonio?"
          The couple paused, giving each other a slow
     confused look.  Again, there seemed to be a dull,
     almost deathly pallor about them, Hank sensed with a
     slight shudder.  He felt like shirking back, but held
     himself in check not wishing to upset the locals.
          "We aren't totally sure what you are looking fer
     there, stranger," the man finally answered.  "But if'n
     you are needing directions, why don't you all head on
     over to Gus's Saloon.  I do believe the Mayor is in
     there.  He kin probably help you."
          The couple went on by, leaving them all lost for
     words.
          "Hey, is it my imagination or does like nobody
     know where San Antonio is?" asked Dale.
          "This is just down right odd," added Nancy.
          "I don't know how much acting these people have to
     do, but at least they could give us directions," said
     Peggy.
          "Let's stop gripping and moaning," Hank said.
     "The saloon is just up the street.  Let's go in, get
     directions and head out."
          "Dad!" called Bobby, reminding him of his request.
          "Oh, uhm Luanne, why don't you go with the kids
     and look around, okay."
          "Okay, Uncle Hank."
          "Yes!" exclaimed Bobby lighting out down the
     walkway, Joseph and Kahn Jr. close behind.
          "Don't get lost!" called Peggy after them.
          "IIItellyouwhutiftheycouldharnessallthattherepower
     ,wewouldn'tneedoil," Boomhauer said.
          "Yep.  Them A-rabs would know what to do then,"
     said Bill.
          Hank laughed.  "Come'on, lets git over to that
     saloon and find out where we are."

                             * * * * *

          The sound of voices and music filtered out of the
     entrance of Gus's Saloon as Hank stepped up to the
     swinging doors.  He pushed them open and stepped
     inside.  Almost immediately all eyes turned towards
     them, voices lowering.  Hank let out a nervous laugh
     gazing around.
          Looked like a safe crowd, he thought walking over
     to the bar.  Hank called the bartender over.
          "What'll you have?" asked the bartender.
          "Um, nothing right now.  Can you tell me where the
     mayor is?"
          The bartender eyed him, then pointed over to a
     table at the far end of the room.  Four men sat playing
     a hand of poker one of, which was dress in a dark suit
     hair neatly combed and groomed.  Thanking the
     bartender, Hank made his way over to the table, Dale
     and Bill close behind.
          "Hi.  My name is Hank Hill, and I was wondering if
     you are the mayor?"
          The gentleman seated before him arched a brow
     staring at the cards in his hand.  Smacking his lips,
     he threw out two cards.
          "That would be me," he said in a thick robust
     voice, picking up two cards dealt to him.
          "Oh, good," Hank let out a sigh of relief.  "Well
     can you-,"
          "Hold on Mister Hill," said the mayor.  He studied
     his hand again, then tossed out two chips into the pot.
     The player across from him tossed in four, and the
     mayor smirked.
          "Fold," he said laying down his cards.  "Hold my
     spot, Dev.  I'll be right back."
          Standing up, the mayor extended a hand.  "Ben
     George, Mayor of the fair town of Justin," he said with
     a smile.
          Although it was a friendly gesture, Hank felt
     uneasy about the way he looked, and his hand felt
     slightly clammy to the touch.
          "What can I do for you, Hank Hill?"
          "Yes, uh seems that everyone around here has
     forgotten how to get to San Antonio.  Was wonder'n if
     you can give us directions."
          "Hm, San Antonio.  Mighty long ways from here.
     You boys been traveling long?"
          "We're travelling with our families."
          "Oh.  Hot out there isn't it?  Too be traveling I
     mean."
          "Not to bad as long as the air conditioning is
     on," answered Dale.
          "This is Dale Gribble, and behind him is Bill
     Dauterive," Hank said.
          "Glad to meet you fella's," said Mayor George.
          "Huh, huh, this is a nice town you have here,
     Mister Mayor," said Bill.
          "Why thank you, Mister Dauterive.  Justin has
     always been good clean town.  Nothing but honest folk
     here . . . well at least most of us."
          Hank's brows narrowed slightly at the comment.  He
     looked back towards Peggy.  She shrugged, wondering
     what was going on.  Nodding, he turned back to the
     Mayor.  "Not to be rushing you none, Mayor George, but
     my wife is getting kind'a antsy.  If you can just give
     us directions we'll be on our way."
          "Aw, what's the hurry, Hank.  Besides, it's hot
     out there.  Why don't you and your friends sit a
     spell."
          "We'd like too, but the wife--,"
          "Let's go meet the little lady.  Deal me out Dev!"
          Mayor George made his way past Hank heading for
     the bar leaving the three men speechless.
          "You know Hank, I get this feeling they don't want
     us to leave," Dale said.
          "I don't know.  You think maybe if we by some of
     their souvenirs they'd let us go?" replied Hank.
          "Might be worth a try," said Bill.
          Following the mayor, Hank returned to Peggy and
     the others.  Mayor George was chatting with the wives.
          "So, Peggy Hill, you folks enjoying our town?"
     asked Mayor George.
          "Oh it's wonderful how you all put this place
     together," replied Peggy.
          "Town look very original," added Minh.  "Good
     place for tourist trap."
          "Tourist trap?" questioned Mayor George with a
     frown.  "What's that?"
          Kahn chuckled.  "They modest actors here.  Very
     convincing."
           Mayor George looked confused, but let it pass.
     Reaching into his vest pocket, he pulled out a watch
     checking the time.  "My wife should be here shortly.  I
     tell you folks what.  Why don't yall have a bit of
     lunch on the house."
          "We need to be going," answered Hank.
          Peggy tapped him lightly on the arm.  "Oh Hank
     stop," she said.  "We can afford to stop a spell.  It's
     hot outside anyway."
          "Come on Peggy.  We've need to get to San Antonio
     so I can start fix'n the Hill Chili."
          "There's plenty of time like Peggy said," Nancy
     said.  "Come'on Hank.  Relax a bit."
          "Yeah, Hank," Bill said.  "I'd like to try some of
     this beer of theirs."
          Just can't win, thought Hank.  He sighed, shaking
     his head.  "Oh, alright, just for lunch."
          "You won't regret it, Hank," said Mayor George.
          Hank let out a grunt, turning to the bar.
     "Bartender, gimme a beer."

                             * * * * *

          Bobby, Joseph, and Kahn Jr. peered through the
     window of the local general store eyeing a jar full of
     candy sticks.  Smacking their lips, they exchanged
     looks then turned to Luanne.
          "You ain't even had lunch yet," Luanne said
     anticipating their question.
          "One stick not going to hurt none," said Bobby.
          Luanne drew in a breath.  "Alright, but just one,
     ya'hear me!"
          The three children hurried for the door.  Bobby
     and Kahn Jr. ran in, but as Joseph reached the door, he
     stopped catching sight of a girl standing off to the
     side.  She smiled at him.
          "Uh . . . Hi," he said.
          "Hello," she replied cheerfully.
          Joseph couldn't move, nor could he find any words
     to say.  Luanne smiled at them from behind.  Ain't that
     cute, she thought.  Giving Joseph a light nudge, she
     urged him to speak up.
          "Uh, my name's Joseph."
          The girl brushed back a strand of her long
     brunette hair, biting her lower lip.
          "My name's Elizabeth," she said.
          "Elizabeth," repeated Joseph.
          "Most people call me Beth."
          "Beth."
          Luanne nudged him again.  "Well aren't you gonna
     invite your new friend inside?" she asked him.
          Joseph's brows rose up.  "Me?"
          "Why sure.  It's called courtesy."
          Bobby's cry from inside the story drew their
     attention.  "Luanne, this guy say's my moneys not
     good!"
          "Bobby," Luanne sighed.  "I'm coming, Bobby!"
          Disappearing through the door, Joseph fidgeted
     nervously for a few minutes.  "You ah, want some
     candy?" he finally asked Beth.
          "Sure," she replied.
          Joseph smiled, then suddenly frowned.  "Say, you
     weren't out in the cemetery earlier were you?"
          Beth's smile faded slightly.  "No, I'm not allowed
     out there," she answered.
          "Gee.  You look a lot like the girl I saw."
          Beth's eyes cut from side to side as if checking
     to see if anyone was listening in.  "Peppermint," she
     finally said.
          "Peppermint?"
          "Yeah, I like peppermint."
          "Oh yeah," replied Joseph remembering that he did
     offer to by her some candy.
          He opened the door, Beth flashing him a cheery
     smile as she walked inside.

                             * * * * *

          "Hm, a bit on the rough side," Hank said
     evaluating the warm beer in his mug.
          "Got that home brewed taste," Dale said.
          Bill smacked his lips, thinking a moment.  "Kind
     of reminds me of some Coors I left out on the porch one
     night."
          "Coors," said Kahn.  "You rednecks not only eat
     anything, your drink anything as well."
          Hank took another swallow.  "Yep, definitely home
     brewed."
          Turning, the guys leaned back up against the bar
     and looked around the saloon.  Over at one of the
     corner tables, Nancy, Peggy, Minh, and Mayor George's
     wife, Amanda sat trading stories and gossip while up
     near the stage Boomhauer was at it again, flirting with
     the chorus girls.
          "I tell you," commented Hank.  "This wasn't
     exactly a bad idea after all.  Look at everybody.
     Having a good time, meeting new folks.  I like this."
          "Ahuh, but have you noticed one thing?" said Dale.
          "No, what?"
          "How's come we're the only tourist in this town,
     hmm?"
          Hmm, sounded Hank.  It did seem strange that they
     were the only tourists around.  To top that, there
     didn't seem to be any gifts or souvenirs to be bought
     on display.  If this were run like any normal tourist
     site in Texas, that would be a major priority.
          "Maybe some of these here folks around us are
     tourists," suggested Bill.
          "Yeah, that could be it," added Kahn.  "We all
     look like sore thumbs in crowd."
          "You know Kahn, you're right," said Hank.  "We
     should try to blend into the crowd."
          Hank set his mug down.  "Come on, I've been dying
     to get a new Stetson anyway.  Let's go see if we can
     find something to wear."
          Peggy noticed Hank heading for the door.  "Hank,"
     she called out.  "Where're you going?"
          "Gonna find me a hat and maybe one of them range
     coats," he replied.
          Amanda George, a sweet petite woman in her late
     fifties, spoke up.  "Mister Hill, you can go down to
     Jim's General Store just up the road."
          "Thank you ma'am.  Come on Boomhauer!"
          Boomhauer reluctantly joined them.
     "Heywhat'ssodangimportantIgottabreakfromscorignwiththeg
     irls?"
          "You kin play later," said Dale.  "We're going to
     go and get some clothes.  Look more Old Western if you
     know what I mean."
          "Oh no, girls," said Nancy.  "We'd better go with
     them.  I don't want Dale going hogwild with the credit
     card.  It'd be like letting a child loose in a toy
     store."
          "That's a great idea, Nancy," said Peggy.  "I'd
     like to try on one of them dresses I've been seeing
     around town."
          "And I know just the one for you," Amanda said.
          Mayor George suddenly appeared at the doors.
     "Leaving so soon, Hank?" he asked.
          "Nah, Mayor.  We're just going to see if we can
     find some clothes to fit the town.  Put some revenue in
     your pockets, heh, heh."
          "Sure!  Come on down to Jim's.  I'm sure he can
     fix you folks right up.  We have to hurry though.  It's
     almost noon."
          Mayor George led them out, Hank pondering his last
     words.  What is so important about noon, he wondered?
     It would have to wait, Peggy's call bringing him back
     to the fore.

                              * * * * *

          Jim's General Store was well stock the group
     noticed as they walked in.  Hank immediately spotted a
     black wide brimmed Stetson on a hat rack towards the
     back of the shop that was perfect for his needs.  A
     familiar voice suddenly caught their ears from over
     near the cash register.
          Luanne stood at the counter arguing with a tall
     thin man, holding several bills in one hand.
          "I tell you this is American money," she said
     loudly.  "This is a dollar, this is a five, and this is
     a ten.  How many times do I have to repeat myself!"
          The clerk looked at the money with a frown.
     "Ma'am, I ain't seen no money like that made in these
     here parts.  You from the east?"
          "No, I'm from Arlen!  Arlen, Texas!"
          "Luanne, honey, what's wrong?" asked Peggy.
          Luanne spun around.  "This clerk will not take my
     money, Aunt Peg!"
          Peggy frowned.  "Now what is wrong with good old
     American money?" she asked the clerk.
          "Nothing wrong, if it were real," replied the
     clerk.
          That brought Hank into the conversation.  "Say,
     fella, this here is still part of the United States,
     right?"
          "Yep."
          "Then this here money should be good, right?"
          "If it were American."
          Hank started sharply.  "What do you mean `if'?
     It's American alright.  See?"
          Hank took one of the bills, pointing to the
     inscription above the engraving of George Washington.
          "The `United States' of America. Got it?"
          The clerk peered at the bill, then smirked.
     "Well, if that date is true, then you've got a real
     problem, friend."
          "Huh?"
          "Nineteen Nintey-Five is about a'hunered-n seven
     years away I reckon by my last check of the calendar."
          Hank, Peggy, and Luanne looked around, spotting a
     calendar up on the wall just behind the counter.
          The date read October, 1888.
          "Oh my lord," gasped Peggy.
          "Well talk about authenticity," said Dale.
          Hank suddenly began to laugh, turning around.  "I
     get it now.  Its part of this here act," he said.
          "Yeah, I get it now," said Bill.  "Betcha if we
     had come along on some official tour, we'd a had to
     exchange some greenbacks for some of their money."
          "A-huh," replied Hank.
          Bobby smirked.  "Dad, does that mean we can't have
     any of this candy?"
          Hank shrugged.  "Can't pay fer it son if I ain't
     got no money."
          Ben George stepped in then.  "Oh, don't worry
     about that, Hank!" he said, a thick hand slapping him
     on the back in a friendly gesture.  "You and your
     friends consider yourselves my personal guest.
     Everything on the house!"
          Hank was stunned.  "Now, Ben, you don't have'ta do
     that for us."
          "Nonsense!  Like I said, we here in Justin are
     right down honest folk.  Go'head! Look around.  See
     anything you like, it's yours."
          "Why that's mighty nice of you, Ben," said Dale as
     he walked past.
          Still, Hank was leery of all this hometown
     hospitality.  The clerk obviously didn't mind the loss,
     and that's what made him feel so antsy.  Peggy and
     Amanda George were already going through the prairie
     dresses, Bill and the Souphanousinphone's fleecing
     through the stack of blankets along the shelves.  This
     felt like a large dent in the budget for the community,
     but so far nobody was complaining one bit.
          "Hank!" Dale called from behind a partition.  He
     turned as Dale stepped out clad in an oversized black
     range coat, pair of hightop boots, and a dusty brown-
     white hat several sizes to large for his head.
          "What'd you think?" asked Dale.
          "What are you trying to be?" countered Hank.
          "Who do you think?  Gary Cooper!"
          The skin around Hank's cheeks went tight.  Peggy
     and Nancy heard Dale, smirks coming to their faces.
          "Dale Gribble, you look like an under stuffed
     scarecrow in search of some straw!" teased Nancy.
          "Gary Cooper," said Peggy, waving him off.  "No
     chance in that ever happening."
          "You damn right," Hank suddenly said.
          Peggy knew what that meant. "Here it comes," she
     whispered to Nancy.
          Hank strode over to Dale.  "Gary Cooper is
     probably do'in cartwheels in his grave right about now,
     Dale," he said.  "Get that durn bucket of'a your head."
          "Hank Hill seem quite upset about Dale's
     impersonation," Kahn said to Bill.
          "Heh, heh, next to Willie Nelson, Gary Cooper is
     one of his favorite celebrities."
          Over at the clothing rack, Dale protested loudly
     as Hank pulled him out of the range coat he wore.
          "Ah!  Hank, what the hell you do'in?"
          "Save'n what dignity Gary Cooper has left in this
     world, that's what I'm ah do'in, Dale."  He put on the
     coat, adjusting the long flaps of the collar, taking on
     a commanding stance.  "Gary Cooper would never wear an
     ugly hat like that.  Bobby!  Bobby, gimme that there
     hat on that hook above you," continued Hank, pointing
     to the Stetson he had been eyeing since coming into the
     store.
          Bobby quickly took it down, running over and
     handed it to him.  Hank put it on almost ceremoniously,
     stepping out allowing everyone to see.
          "Hank," said Peggy, admiring him.  "You look
     fantastic."
          Ben George grinned.  "Hot damn, Hank.  I don't
     know who this Cooper fellow is, but you sure do look
     like a natural range hand!"
          "I feel like it," replied Hank, smiling.  "But
     there's a'somethin missing."  He looked around the
     store, eyes finally resting on a pearl-handled Navy
     Colt six-shooter.
          "Gimme that," he said to the clerk.
          The gun and holster were passed down, Hank putting
     it on.
          "You don't know who Gary Cooper is?  Well, if'n he
     were alive today, he'd be womping down on scalawags and
     desperados like so."
          The pistol flashed out of the holster, Hank
     twirling it around with comparative easy in his hands.
     He flicked it up, passing it around to his other hand,
     twisting it horizontal and vertical in a surprising
     display of pistol handling.  At the window, a throng of
     towns' people gathered, awed by his skill.  Ben George
     stood in utter amazement, eyes following the six-
     shooter around as it passed over and through hands,
     legs and fingers without losing a beat.
          "Go on, dad!" Bobby shouted excitedly.
          "Wooooodangitifol'Hankain'tjustaboutshow'noffhisst
     uf!" exclaimed Boomhauer.
          The pistol spun faster and faster, Hank
     effortlessly twirling it around like a seasoned drum
     major.  He was a sight to see, thrilling the crowd.  A
     quick, short snatch, and the six-shooter rolled
     smoothly back into the holster.
          "And that's how Gary Cooper would do it," said
     Hank.
          A cheer went up, hands clapping loudly.  Ben
     George exchanged a brief look with the clerk, nodding
     thoughtfully as he walked over to Hank.
          "Oh, Hank, that was mighty something," Peggy said
     as the Mayor approached.
          Tipping his hat up with a light tap of a finger,
     Hank smiled.  "Was nothing, little lady," he joked.
          "I wouldn't say that, Hank," Mayor George said.
     "That was might fine pistol handling there, mighty
     fine!"
          A light blush colored Hank's cheeks.  "Well, heh,
     heh, I am pretty handy on the range."
          "You being modest, dad," Bobby said.  "We came in
     second at the Father and Son Shooting Tournament last
     year."
          "Really now?" said Ben George.  He took a look at
     the people standing outside the store for a minute.
     "Hank, wanna ask you something."
          "Go `head."
          Ben George drew in a deep breath, his barrel chest
     rising.  He ran his thumbs underneath the inseams of
     his vest, grinning brightly.
          "Hank Hill, how would you like to be the Sheriff
     of the town of Justin?"
          Hank blinked, not expecting this offer.  He
     thought, then turned to face Peggy and the rest of his
     friends.
          "I get it now.  This is all part of the show."
          "What show?" asked Dale.
          "You know.  Select a tourist to be Sheriff for the
     day.  Beat down a few bad guys, be a hero."
          "Yeah!  Just like at `Six Flags' said Bill.
          "Oh boy, now Hank Hill wanna-be lawman," Kahn
     said.  "Better go lock safes."
          Hank turned around.  "Ben, you know I'm enjoying
     my stay here.  In the spirit of the Old West, I, Hank
     Hill, will--,"
          "Ahem," Peggy suddenly let out.
          Hank found her staring up at him, her annoyed face
     on in full force.
          "Now don't you start, woman."
          "I thought you wanted to leave?" said Peggy,
     arching a brow.
          "I did, but now I'm have some real fun.  This was
     a great idea, Peggy."
          "And what about the `Hill' spices you so
     venomously wanted to get started?"
          Hank could not understand what it was that had
     Peggy so riled up.  "Honey, this was your idea."
          "Coming here, yes.  Becoming the Sheriff, no."
          Ah, that was it.
          "Peggy, it'll be alright.  It's all an act, ain't
     that right, Ben?"
          Ben George's eyes dimmed for a second.  "If Hank
     can handle himself like he did with that six-shooter,
     he'll be fine."
          What's that supposed to mean, thought Peggy.  A
     hand came down on her shoulder, Amanda George's
     cheerful face leaning close to hers.
          "Peggy, don't worry your little pretty head off."
          Peggy looked up at him, worry in her eyes.
          "Peggy, what could happen?  It's all an act."
          "Yeah, mom," added Bobby.  "This is great!"
          "I think it's neat," said Joseph.
          "Come'on, Peggy," Nancy said.  "Just like you
     said, relax."
          Peggy gave in.  She still felt something was
     wrong, but let out a weak sigh.  "Oh, alright.  But you
     best not be going out too get shot up, Hank Hill."
          Hank laughed, facing Ben George again.  "Like I
     was saying, Mayor George.  I would be honored to be
     your Sheriff."
          A cheer rose up from the citizens of Justin,
     everyone patting Hank on the back as Mayor George
     ushered him out the store.  He took a brief glance at
     the time on his pocket watch, smirking lightly.
          "We got too hurry, Hank.  It's almost high noon!"
          Hank followed him, the rest of the townsfolk right
     behind them.  Peggy stood on the sidewalk, staring at
     the festivities with dread.
          "Aunt Peggy?" called Luanne.
          Peggy looked back, but remained silent.
          "S'ometh'n wrong?"
          "I can't rightly place it, Luanne.  I mean I know
     it's all an act, but still there's something strange
     going on."
          "Oh.  Well I kind'a like it here, e'cept for all
     this hurry about noon."
          Luanne went to join the crowd; Peggy scratching
     the side of her head in wonder.
          "What is so special about noon?" she wondered,
     gazing at the crowd again.

                          * * * * *

          "And now, with great pleasure, I'd like to appoint
     in front of all the people of Justin, our new sheriff,
     Hank Hill!"
          Applause greeted Hank as he stepped up on the
     porch in front of the town jail.  Hank was overjoyed
     and embarrassed all in one moment.
          "HooYah!" exclaimed Peggy, joining right along
     with the crowd.
          "Way ta'go, Hank!" shouted Dale.
          Ben motioned for everyone to settle down.  "Now
     Hank, we here in Justin are mighty grateful for you to
     be stepping into such an important position."
          Nervously, Hank scratched the back of his neck.
     "Mayor, Hill's have always stepped up when there's
     justice to be served."
          "You have our full support, Hank.  Now then, let's
     get you properly decked out."  Ben began patting his
     pockets, frowning as he searched and fished through
     them.
          "Gosh darn'it, I know I have it here somewhere,"
     he said.
          Reaching back into his vest pocket, Ben George
     smiled.  "Here it is," he said, pulling out a tin
     start.
          It was old, Hank could see.  Tarnished along the
     edges, a lusterless dull silver with traces of rust and
     wear in the metal.  Hank held back his comments as Ben
     undid the pin.
          "Hank Hill, by the vote of the town of Justice, I
     appoint you--,"
          "Have you told him the story yet, Ben," a dry
     voice called out.
          All heads turned towards the old man seated in a
     chair with his feet propped up on the railing.  It
     suddenly grew very quiet as the citizens of Justin
     glared at him.
          The old man was unfazed.  "Well, Ben, have you?"
          "Hush your durn mouth, you old coot!" snapped Ben.
     "I'm getting to it!"
          "S'posse to tell'em before you pin'em, Ben."
          Ben George appeared to flinch at those words.  He
     paused, then drew the badge back.  "Hank, I gotta tell
     you a little story `bout the town of Justin," he said.
          "Is it bad?" asked Hank.
          Ben did not answer him.
          "Hank, a spell ago, Justin was a prominent town in
     these here parts.  Beautiful city full of down right,
     hard working, good folk willing to do anything for each
     other."
          "Doesn't look like nothings changed, Ben."
          Mayor George smiled.  "Yeah, Justin was a good
     community.  Rich and full of life.  That was until
     Dodson Earl and his gang rode into town."
          A low murmur passed through the citizens of
     Justin.  Nancy and Peggy exchanged scared looks,
     shivering slightly.
          "Ooo, I don't think I like this, Peggy," said
     Nancy.
          Peggy continued to listen to Ben George's tale.
          "Dodson Earl and his boys came in and began to
     ransack the town, kill'in innocent folk, raping the
     women, stealing--,"
          "So what happen to the sheriff?" asked Hank.
          A dark sneer crossed Ben Georges face. "Ha!
     Sheriff?  He was a no good for nothing COWARD!  Talked
     a stiff fight, but ran for the hills when Earl and his
     gang confronted him."
          The Mayor's voice lowered into a sad tone.  "By
     morning, the town, and all of it's people, existed no
     more.  Burnt to the ground."
          Minh cringed, gripping Kahn's arm tight.  "I not
     like story, or this Dodson Earl," she said.
          "Calm down, Minh.  Is just story for act, that
     all," replied Kahn.
          "Yeah, but does it have to be so... creepy," said
     Bill, rubbing his shoulders.
          Hank milled about the story in his mind, thinking
     it over and over again.  He finally nodded his head, a
     hand to his chin.
          "Hm, I see this here Dodson Earl just didn't have
     the luck to run up against a Hill then."
          "Huh?" muttered Peggy.
          Ben stepped back.  "That mean you still want the
     job, Hank?" he asked.
          "Why sure, Ben!" answered Hank.  "Hill's talk and
     walk a good fight any day of the week.  That story
     ain't changing my mind one bit."
          "Uh, Hank!" called Peggy from the crowd.
          "Are you sure, Hank Hill?" Ben asked one last
     time.
          Hank grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling it
     out.  "I think we still need to make this official."
          "Uh, Hank!" called Peggy again, but with much more
     urgency.
          She was too late as Ben George pinned the badge on
     Hank's chest.  Another cheer rose up, drowning out
     Peggy's call.
          Ben George shook Hank's hand.  "Much obliged, Hank
     Hill."
          "Don't mention it.  Don't you folks worry.  As
     Gary Cooper would say, `If'n anybody want's to cause
     trouble, they's a gonna have'ta get through me first'."
          "Well said, Sheriff!" cried Ben, slapping Hank on
     the back.
          Letting the sting pass, Hank turned around.  "Now,
     as for you, Mister...huh?"
          The chair the old man had been sitting in was
     empty.
          "Say, who is that fellow anyway?" he asked.
          "Aw, just a troublemaker," answered Ben.  "Come
     on, Hank.  Let's all go down to the salon and have a
     few beers before noon."
          "I think I will take you up on that offer, Ben."
          The townsfolk congratulated Hank as he and the
     Mayor walked down the street heading back to the
     saloon.
          Nancy giggled at Peggy.  "Looks like Hank and the
     boys will be needing some rest after today, huh,
     Peggy?"
          "I'm not minding that, Nancy.  I'm more worried
     about that story."
          "Is just story, Peggy Hill," said Minh.  "Creepy
     story to set tone for act."
          She and Peggy traded looks, neither of them
     believing the words just said.
          "We better go ladies, before our husbands drink
     this town dry," said Peggy.

                          * * * * *

          Bobby, Kahn Jr., Joseph, and Elizabeth sat on the
     edge of the sidewalk watching Hank's appointment as
     sheriff.  Proud of his father, Bobby beamed with pride.
          "Look at him," he said to the others.  "My dad,
     Sheriff!"
          "That's neat," said Joseph.  "Wonder if my dad can
     get a job like that."
          "You mean mister Gribble?" asked Kahn Jr..
          "Yeah, my dad."
          Bobby and Kahn Jr. passed humored looks between
     them, daring the other to say something.  Elizabeth
     hopped down into the street.  She appeared to be
     troubled as she watched the throng of people pass by.
     Joseph noticed, tipping his head curiously to one side.
          "What's the matter, Beth?" he asked her.
          Elizabeth turned.  "Aw, nothing I guess," she
     replied somberly.
          The three joined her.
          "You don't look to happy `bout my dad becoming
     sheriff," said Bobby.
          The young girl chewed nervously on her bottom lip.
     "I just hope your pa is as good as he says he is," she
     replied.  Elizabeth shielded her eyes, glancing up at
     the sun.  "It's close ta noon."
          "What happening at noon?" asked Kahn Jr..
          She did not reply, giving them that deep stare
     once more.
          Bobby inched up next to Joseph.  "Gee, your new
     girlfriend is kind'a weird," he whispered into his ear.
          Joseph jumped back like he had been pricked by a
     sharp needle.
          "She's not my girlfriend!" he said.
          "Yeah, alright there, Joseph."
          Joseph's cheeks flushed.  He turned away trying to
     hid his embarrassment.
          "Nothing to be scared of, Joseph," said Kahn Jr..
     "It happens to the best of us."
          "Will you two stop."
          Their giggles brought Joseph back around.  "So
     what do we do now?" he asked, changing the subject.
          "I dunno?  We could hit the store again for more
     candy." Suggested bobby.
          "I not want candy right now," said Kahn Jr..
          "We can't stray too far," said Elizabeth.  "It's--
     ,"
          "Yeah, yeah, we know.  It's almost noontime,"
     Bobby said.
          "That must be when the big show supposed to
     start," added Joseph.
          "Yeah... big show," replied Elizabeth, sadly.
          Bobby suddenly snapped his fingers, eyes bright as
     an idea came to him.
          "I got just the thing too do!"
          "What, what?" asked Kahn Jr..
          A devious look came to Bobby, eyes shifting from
     side to side.
          "Follow me," he said, heading off across the
     street.

                          * * * * *

          Hank smacked his lips, savoring the taste of the
     whiskey he and Ben George sampled at the bar.  Nothing
     like a whiskey chaser after a beer, he thought.
     Letting the warmth of the liquid pass through him, Hank
     picked up his glass and took another drink.
          "Hey, Sheriff," said Dale, standing next to him.
     "Better go easy on the spirits.  Might dull the senses,
     if y'know what I mean."
          "Dale, this here stuff wouldn't phase a mule, yet
     alone a veteran drinker like me."
          "Thought lawmen on duty weren't supposed to drink,
     there, Hank," Bill said.
          "You not expect Hank Hill to follow rules now,
     added Kahn.
          Ben George laughed.  "Out here, there ain't no
     such thing as rules `bout a man having a few drinks."
          "And I'm a man that kin handle himself," said
     Hank.
          Peggy came up and took the glass of whiskey from
     Hank's hands.
          "But you still got a ways to go on the road, Hank
     Hill.  No more drinking for you."
          "But, Peggy--,"
          "Ain't no if, ands, or buts about it, mister
     `lawman'."
          Hank smirked.  He looked at Ben, shaking his head.
     "Women.  Just when you thought your mother was a thing
     of the past.  Bartender, Root Beer!"
          "That goes for you to, Dale Gribble," Nancy called
     to her husband.
          A withering eye from Minh made Kahn put his beer
     down.
          "Say, Hank.  What do you do in your town?" asked
     Ben George.
          "I sell propane, and propane accessories."
          "Propane?  What the hell's that?"
          Hank almost lost himself right there.  "You mean
     you folks never heard of Propane, the fuel of the
     future?"
          Ben George scratched his head.  "Naw, can't reckon
     I say I have."
          Never the one to pass up a business opportunity,
     Hank quickly handed the mayor his card.
          "That there number will get you straight to my
     desk.  I'm sure I can interest you in some gas grills."
          Ben examined the card, turning it from side to
     side before tucking it into his vest pocket.
          "It sounds interesting, Mister Hill," said Amanda.
     "What does this `propane' do?"
          "Why, it creates the cleanest fire known,"
     answered Hank.  "You can taste the difference between
     it, and your standard charcoal grilled meals."
          "Really now?"
          "Yep," added Bill.  "Speak'in of which, that makes
     me hungry."
          Nancy looked at her watch.  "Yeah it's about time
     for some lunch.  I got a quarter to twelve."
          "Yeah, I could use something to eat too," added
     Peggy.  "Bet the children are--."  She paused, looking
     around.  "Where are the kids anyway?"
          "They was outside just a few minutes ago," said
     Dale.
          "We better gather'em up and feed them.  Lord know
     the ruckus we'll hear if they go without a burger or
     something in their stomachs."
          "Amen to that," said Hank.
          Luanne got up.  "I'll go get'em," she said,
     heading out the doors.

                          * * * * *

          The four children stood silent, staring up the
     narrow path leading to the cemetery and it's open
     gates.  A light breeze passed, the caw of a crow
     echoing from the limbs of barren tree.
          "You want to go there," stammered Joseph.
          "Yeah.  It'll be neat."
          Kahn Jr. rubbed her arms with a shudder.  "I don't
     know, Bobby.  My father say it's bad luck to be walking
     over the grounds of the dead."
          "We ain't walking on anybodies grave," replied
     Bobby.  "We just going to look."
          They were quiet, Bobby glancing at them.
          "What's wrong?  You guys scared?"
          Joseph and Kahn Jr. traded looks, then nodded
     their heads in unison.
          "Boy, what a bunch of chickens!"
          "I ain't chicken!" declared Joseph.
          "I am," said Kahn Jr..
          "Well, I'm going to look around.  You guys come'n
     or not?"
          Reluctantly, Joseph and Kahn Jr. gave in.
          "How `bout you, Elizabeth?"
          Elizabeth's eyes were locked on the cemetery, her
     jaw slack.  She held a pallor of dread on her face,
     then slowly, very slowly, she looked at them.
          "No... I'm not allowed out there.  You shouldn't
     go either."
          From her tone, the three sensed something was
     wrong.
          "I can understand you being afraid, Beth," said
     Joseph.  "Why don't you wait here.  We won't be long."
          "Don't go, Joseph," she replied.
          He fidgeted, finding it hard to speak.  "I, I
     can't let them go out there alone.  We're friends, best
     buds.  You know what I'm saying?"
          Elizabeth's head lowered sadly.  "I understand,"
     she replied.
          "Good.  Now wait here, I'll be right back."
          Joseph ran to catch up with Bobby and Kahn Jr..
          "Elizabeth too scared to come with us?" asked
     Bobby, as he caught up with them.
          "Yeah.  I didn't want to leave her behind like
     that."  Joseph looked back over his shoulder.  "She's
     really a nice... huh?"
          The spot where Elizabeth had stood was vacant.
          "Where'd she go?"
          "Probably went back home," said Kahn Jr..
          "Even if she did, I think we'd still see her
     walking back."
          "Come on we're wasting time," said Bobby.  "We can
     catch up with Elizabeth later."

                          * * * * *

          Luanne was angrily walking through the streets of
     Justin in search of her cousin, and his friends.  She
     wanted to scream, furious that they had run off without
     telling anyone where they were going.
          "Oh, when I get my hands on you children," she
     fumed, striding across the street towards the general
     store.
          Not there, Luanne paused to think.
          "Okay, they're not in here, they're not at the
     stables.  Where would I go if I were three walking
     dynamos just ask'n for trouble?"
          She ruled out the cars, unless Bobby went back for
     his Game Boy, what else could they be wanting to do?
          Suddenly, it hit her, and with a smirk, Luanne
     Platter stomped purposely off towards the cemetery.

                          * * * * *

          "Hey, check this one out," Bobby called to Joseph
     and Kahn Jr..  They came over, and he pointed to the
     name carved into the gray slab of stone that marked the
     grave.
          "Gus Begley.  1828-1888."
          They chuckled at the name, finding it humorous.
          "You know, when I get all grown up and away from
     my dad, I'm going to change my name," said Kahn Jr..
          "Too what?" asked Bobby.
          "Oh, I don't know," she turned, walking casually
     down the aisle of graves.  "Melissa, Ronda, Sabrina--,"
          "Sabrina!" cried Joseph.  "Yeeuck."
          Kahn Jr. grinned.  "Buffy?" she said looking down
     at the tombstone in front of her.  "I don't know
     what..."  The grin dropped from her face.  Kahn Jr.
     stood staring at the words on the stone, then smirked,
     rubbing her eyes.
          "Guys," she called, waving them over.
          "What is it?" asked Bobby as he and Joseph joined
     her.
          She said nothing, pointing down at the tombstone.
          Ben George, 1830-1888.
          Kahn Jr. took a deep swallow.  "Uh, Bobby.  Isn't
     that the mayor's name?"
          "Well I'll be," answered Bobby.  He looked over at
     the tombstone next to them.  `Amanda George, 1832-1888'
     it read.
          "Say, this here is got to be some kind'a joke,"
     said Joseph.
          Kahn Jr. was looking around at the other
     tombstones around them, reading the dates carefully.
          "Have you guys noticed something strange about all
     of these dates?" she asked.
          "No?" replied Bobby.
          Kahn Jr. turned.  "Everyone died in eighteen
     eighty-eight."
          "Whoa," gasped Joseph.
          "That's not true," said Bobby.  "Over there, I
     found--,"
          "BOBBY HILL!" a high pitched voice cried out,
     startling them.  Luanne stormed up the path towards
     them furiously.  They shirked back as she came to a
     stop in front of Bobby.
          "Didn't Aunt Peggy tell you not to come out here?"
          "Yeah, but we didn't do anything wrong," he
     replied.
          "You kids were specifically told not to come out
     here!  This is no place to be playing around in!"
          "We aren't playing," said Joseph.  "We're just
     looking at the dates on the tombstones."
          "Yeah, Luanne," added Kahn Jr..  "Everyone here
     died in 1888.  Even the mayor."
          "I don't care!  You were told--."  Luanne did a
     double-take.  "The Mayor?"
          Joseph pointed down at the tombstone.  She read,
     the re-read the inscription, drawing back with a sharp
     breath.
          "See?" said Kahn Jr..
          "And like I was about to tell them, not everyone
     died in 1888," continued Bobby.  "I saw a grave over
     there for one of the sheriffs."
          "Sheriffs?" exclaimed Luanne, turning around to
     where he was pointing.
          Hesitantly, she walked over, kneeling down next to
     the first grave.
          "M-Mathias Grigsbee, Sheriff, 1889?" she read.
     She moved over to the next stone.  "Daniel Jacob,
     Sheriff, 1890?"
          The pattern repeated itself all along the
     following tombstones.
          "1892, 1893, 1894," read Luanne, her pace
     quickening.  "1897, 1898... oh my gosh!  1900, 1901,
     1902!"
          Luanne stepped over to the next row of graves.
     She squealed in fright, drawing back as she read the
     tombstones.
          "Quaid Struthers, Sheriff, 1924!  1925, 1926,
     1927!"
          "Hey, Bobby.  I didn't think Justin was around
     that long," said Joseph.
          "You heard the mayor," Kahn Jr. said.  "The town
     was burned to the ground by that Dodson guy."
          A stunned silence followed.
          "Uh-oh," muttered Bobby.
          Luanne was literally running along now, voice
     shaking as she continued to count up the years.
          "1944... 1951... 1963."  She stopped at one,
     dropping to her knees.  "Elvis Presley?  Sheriff, 1978!
     I knew the King didn't die in no motel room!"
          Kahn Jr. smirked.  "What's this all mean?" she
     asked.
          "I don't know, but I think we should be getting
     out of here, right now!" replied Bobby.
          "You shouldn'ta come out here," said a voice from
     behind.
          They turned, starting in shock, staring at
     Elizabeth standing near one of the graves.  Bobby
     ducked behind Joseph; Kahn Jr. ducking behind him.
          "Beth?" said Joseph.  "Beth, I thought you weren't
     allowed out here?"
          Elizabeth's eyes stared out past them, dark and
     lifeless.  "You shouldn'ta come out here," she said
     again.
          "Why?  What's going on?"
          Joseph took a step towards her.
          "What are you doing?" shouted Bobby, grabbing hold
     of the back of Joseph's shirt.
          "It's only Beth."
          "She's part of all this!"
          A cry cut the air.  Luanne knelt next to the last
     tombstone marking the fallen sheriffs.  She pulled
     fearfully at her hair, staring wide-eyed at the
     inscription.
          "OH MY LORD, OH MY LOOORRRRD!"
          "What is it, Luanne!" Bobby said.
          She looked up.  "J-J-Jerry J-J-Jackson the Th-Th-
     Third, Sheriff, 1998!"
          Kahn Jr. drew in a gasp.  "Bobby, that means--."
          "My dad is next."
          Joseph turned to Elizabeth again.  "What's going
     on, Beth?" he asked, moving closer.
          "You shouldn'ta come out here," she kept
     repeating.
          Joseph was about to ask again, when his eyes
     stopped on the tombstone next to her.  He read the
     inscription, and a cold shudder passed through him.
          Elizabeth Munroe, 1875-1888.
          Joseph never thought he'd experience a heart
     attack so young in his life, but he clutched at the
     sudden tightness of his chest, grimacing in fear.
     There was something else, something that made him take
     fearful steps back.
          Elizabeth's feet were not touching the ground.
          "Oh, oh, oh... AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
          Bobby and Kahn Jr.'s cries joined his, and they
     ran as fast as their legs could carry them.  Luanne was
     yelling also, eyes growing as big as saucers as
     Elizabeth rose up higher into the air.  She broke from
     her stupor, running after the kids.
          Their voices died away into the town, Elizabeth
     watching them for a moment.
          "You shouldn'ta come out here," she said, just
     before her body fade into thin air.

                          * * * * *

          Boomhauer was at it again, kicking it up with the
     ladies of the chorus line.  Hank laughed, know that the
     perpetual ladies-man would somehow manage to score even
     if he were on a deserted island.
          Taking another long swallow from his glass of root
     beer, he looked around.  Bill and Kahn had somehow
     found themselves in the middle of a poker game; Amanda,
     Peggy, Nancy, and Minh chatting over at one of the
     tables.
          That brought a growl from his stomach, reminding
     him that he had not eaten since leaving Arlen.
          "Well, Dale," he said to his friend standing next
     to him at the bar.  "I gotta admit.  This has been
     fun."
          Dale rolled the toothpick in his mouth around for
     a moment.  "Yep, I can agree with that.  Just wish
     those darn kids would get back so we can all eat."
          "Nothing stopping you now."
          "Nothing but my wife.  She'd be upset if I started
     feasting without her and Joseph."
          "Yeah.  I wonder if I can convince Ben to tell me
     where the nearest MacDonald's is."  He searched the
     room, spotting Ben George in a chair.  The mayor's eyes
     were locked on the clock above the bar; hands steepled
     together.  He appeared to be in deep thought.
          "I better not bother him right now," he said to
     Dale.
          Dale drained his glass.  "I'm out.  Gonna need a
     new refill.  Bartender!"
          The bartender came over.
          "Another glass of your fine, fine root beer."
          As the bartender refilled Dale's glass, Boomhauer
     came over with a young blonde under one arm.
          "Yo,ththishere'sStacynshewwantslikeffinnduusssaaap
     placetoogoandlookathesstars.  She's cute."
          The girl giggled, twirling a strand of hair around
     her finger.
          Bill walked up to the bar.  "Need another glass,
     Bartender," he said, handing his mug over.
          "So, you like winning, Bill?" asked Hank.
          "Hell no!  Ol' Kahn there is cleaning me and the
     boys out."
          Hank could see what he meant.  Kahn's stacks of
     chips were high, watches and other assorted valuables
     stacked off to the side.
          Dale chuckled lightly.  "Yep, just like them
     feriners coming over here.  First our jobs, then our
     money.  It's a conspiracy I tell you, a conspiracy!"
          "Dale, that root beer is scrambling your mind.
     You better ease up on it," said Hank.
          Smirking, Dale took another swallow.  "Bet I could
     find something stronger than this back home," he said.
     "What'd you say, Bartender?"
          The bartender remained quiet, rubbing the inside
     of a pitcher with a rag.  He appeared not to notice,
     and Dale shrugged, taking another swallow.
          As his eyes drifted to the mirror behind the
     counter, Dale suddenly stopped.  He blinked, not sure
     if a bit of foam had gotten into them.  Setting the
     glass down. Dale took off his shades and rubbed his
     eyes again.
          In the mirror he could see reflections of Hank,
     Bill and Boomhauer, but none for the Bartender.  All
     there was, hanging in mid-air, was the pitcher and rag.
          "Uh, uh--," stammered Dale.  He was paralyzed with
     fear, body shaking.
          Bill noticed his change.  "Dale?  What's wrong?"
          "Uh, uh," stammered Dale again.
          Following his gaze, Bill looked into the mirror.
     "Ain't nothing there I can see wrong, Dale.  There's
     Hank, Boomhauer, Peggy, Nancy..., Kahn..., Minh--."
          His voice trailed away as realization hit him.
     Bill took a long swallow of his drink, hoping that
     would correct things.  Nope, it didn't.
          "Ah, H-H-Hank," he said.
          "What, Bill," answered Hank, but before he could
     get an answer, Luanne and the kids burst into the
     saloon.
          "UNCLE HANK!" cried Luanne at the top of her
     lungs.
          "My goodness, what is wrong?" said Peggy.  Bobby
     rushed into her arms, crying.
          Kahn Jr. dashed over to her father, tears
     streaming down her cheeks.
          "What going on!" shouted Kahn, standing up.
          Joseph pulled back from his mother.  "We, we, we
     were out at the c-c-cemetery!" he said.
          "What!  Did we not tell you kids not to go out
     there?"
          Bobby shuddered, clutching Peggy tighter.  "Ye-ye-
     ye-ye-yesss!" he stammered.
          "So what's all the commotion about?" asked Hank.
          "Ah, H-H-Hank," Bill stammered again.
          Hank ignored him, kneeling down to help Luanne up.
     She blubbered and whined, body shaking hard.
          "THEY'S ALL DEAD!" she managed to say briefly.
          Ben George rose up from his chair.  His
     penetrating gaze caught the attention of every citizen
     of Justin.  Quietly, they began gathering around him.
          Meanwhile, Hank was still trying too make sense
     out of Luanne's comment.
          "What do you mean they're all dead?  That's what a
     cemetery is for, Luanne."
          She shook her head.  "NO!  Y-Y-YOU DON'T
     UNDERSTAAANNNNDDDD!"
          "I would if you would just stop all of that
     wailing."
          Boomhauer laughed, turning him and his girl around
     towards the bar.  "Heh, heh, S-
     Sommthinglikesscaredthem,yo.  Bet it was a bird."
          He paused, noting Bill and Dale's terrified
     expressions.  Looking at the mirror, he could see the
     arm he had draped around his girl's shoulders hanging
     listlessly in the air.  A smirk, Boomhauer looking down
     at her.  She stared lifelessly at the mirror, then he
     looked back again.  A wiggle of the fingers, several
     lifts of his arm finally made him realize what it was
     standing next to him.
          The girl walked away, leaving Boomhauer stammering
     in mortal terror.
          "Ah, Hank!" Bill called.
          "No dad!" shouted Bobby.  "The sheriffs, the
     sheriffs!"
          "What about the Sheriffs?"
          "THEY'S ALL DEAD!" Luanne cried again.
          "Of course, Luanne.  It's a cemetery!"
          Drawing in a haggard breath, Luanne tried to
     settle down.
          "THE LAST SHERIFF DIED HERE IN NINETEEN NINETY-
     EIIIIIGHT!"
          Peggy stood up, a lost look on her face.  "Ninety-
     eight?" she said in a low voice.
          "Hank!" cried Bill.
          Hank turned around.  The citizens of Justin stood
     at the far end of the room, staring at Hank and his
     entourage.
          "Why, that can't be?" he said.
          "Dad, all of them graves belong to the people of
     Justin!" said Bobby.  "And they all died in eighteen
     eighty-eight!"
          Hank felt his body shudder.  He could see the
     panic etched on Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer's faces,
     blinking slightly as he noticed the lack of reflections
     from the people across the room.
          "That, that means--."
          "We're ghost, Hank Hill," Ben George finished for
     him.
           "Ah, ah, ah, ah... HuhAHHHHHHHH!" yelled Hank.
          Dale screamed in absolute terror, lighting out for
     the doors.  Minh's cry joined his, then Peggy wailed,
     gripping Bobby tight.  Bodies flailed in a mad dash to
     follow Dale Gribble's lead.  Hank brought up the rear,
     ushering them along.  They tumbled out into the street
     ready to run for the cars, but suddenly found their way
     blocked by the citizens of Justin.
          "Oh my Lord!" gasped Peggy, trembling in fear.
          A standoff ensued, nobody moving as the townsfolk
     stared at them.  Finally, Ben George stepped forward.
          "Hank, we can't stop you and your family from
     leaving," he said.  "But we're ask'n fer your help.
     Dodson Earl has been tormenting our souls for over a
     hundred years now."
          "Yes and all of your previous sheriffs are lying
     up out there in that cemetery!" shouted Peggy.  "No
     sir!  You will not get my man!"
          Ben George's tired eyes gazed down at the ground.
     He turned away to rejoin his people.
          "Didn't mean to trick you or nothing, Hank," he
     said.  "Much obliged though."
          "Come on, Hank!" shouted Dale.  "Let's git outta
     here before that Earl guy shows up!"
          Peggy took Hank by the hand, but instead of
     following, he stood immobile.  She could see that
     familiar Hill glint of determination set in his eyes,
     and knew right away what he was thinking.
          "OH no you don't, Hank Hill!" she shouted.  "You
     just get that thought right out of your mind.  You hear
     me, right now!"
          Hank let Peggy's hand go.  "Ben, I'm still sheriff
     of this town, am I not?" he said.
          "HANK!"
          "Peggy, how can I just up and leave these poor
     souls to the mercy of some ruthless villain?"
          "It's quite simple.  They're dead, you're alive.
     There ain't nothing you can do to change that!"
          "But I can help them finally find peace."
          Peggy burst into tears.  She dropped to her knees,
     grabbing on to his arm, hugging it tight.
          "No, Hank!  You're not Gary Cooper, you're not
     John Wayne, you're not even Clint Eastwood.  You're
     Hank Hill, my husband and father of our only child!"
          "And it's because of him I'm not running.  There's
     a time to stand and a time to run.  This is the time to
     stand."
          Gently, Hank pulled Peggy up to her feet.  He
     looked deep into her eyes, a light smile on his face.
          "Peggy, didn't you have faith in me when I led
     Arlen State to the final championships?"
          "Why yes, Hank, but--,"
          "And you still believed in me even though we lost,
     right?"
          Peggy swallowed, nodding her head.
          Hank brushed a strand of hair from her face,
     planting a kiss on her forehead.
          "Have faith in me now."
          Peggy was speechless for a moment.  "Hank!" she
     cried again, hugging him tight.  Bobby walked up,
     staring fearfully at his father.
          "Dad?" he said.
          "Bobby, you take care of your mother now, if'n I
     do live my last few minutes here in this town."
          "Hank,  you really gonna stay?" asked Bill.
          Hank did not reply.  "Dale, you take Peggy and the
     others and git outta here before Dodson Earl shows his
     face."
          Dale did not have to be told twice.  As he ushered
     the rest of them along, Nancy took Peggy carefully by
     one arm.
          "Come on, Peg," she said, pulling her away from
     Hank.
          "No!" cried Peggy, but she went along, crying all
     the way.
          Bobby could not believe this might be the last
     time he would ever see his father again.
          "Dad... you, you can't stay," he said.
          "Go on, boy.  This ain't no place for you."
          "But, Dad--."
          "Git!" said Hank, more forcefully.
          Bobby held back his tears turning away.
          As they disappeared around the corner, Hank
     breathed a sigh of relief.  He closed his eye, asking
     himself briefly what he thought he was doing.
          "Hank?" Ben George called to him.
          "I'm alright," he replied.  "What time is it?"
          Ben George looked at his pocket watch.  "Seven
     minutes to noon."
          Hank nodded.  "Which way does he usually come?"
          "Up the street."
          Turning, Hank peered up the empty street.  The
     wind picked up slightly, dust swirling around his feet.
     Drawing his pistol, he opened the breech, loading a
     bullet into each chamber.
          "Ben, I think you and your people should get out
     of the street.  Might get a bit ugly here in a few
     minutes."
          The citizens of Justin dispersed, Ben George the
     last one to leave.
          "Good luck, Hank Hill," he said, fading out of
     view.
          Hank swallowed the fear lump in his throat.
          "Yeah, I'm gonna need it."

                          * * * * *

          At a rapid pace the rest of the party hurried
     along, reaching the outskirts of Justin in short time.
     Up ahead they could see the parking lot in the
     distance.  Just a quick hike along the path and they'd
     all be on their way back to Arlen and home.
          That was, all but one.
          Nancy Gribble consoled Peggy as best she could,
     guiding the grief stricken woman along.  Peggy moaned
     again, crying into Nancy's shoulder.
          "Why, oh why does Hank think he has to help
     everyone that comes along in need?  WHY!" she sobbed.
          "Now it'll be alright, Peggy.  Hank can more than
     take care of himself."
          "Right," added Bill.  "Why, I once saw him take a
     sack from a three-hundred pound nose guard.  Got right
     back up for the next play."
          "Hesureisonetttoughsonofagunthat'sforsure.  Real
     tough," said Boomhauer.
          "But he not superman," Kahn said.  "Hank still
     mortal, and bullets not care how many hits you can
     take."
          Peggy wailed again; Minh slapping her husband
     sharply upside the head.
          "Come on, people," continued Nancy.  "We got to
     get a move on if we're going to make it before all the
     shooting starts."
          She started guiding Peggy along again, when out of
     the corner of her eye she noticed that Dale was staring
     back in the direction of town.
          "Dale?"
          "I can't do it," he said.
          "What?"
          Dale turned.  "I can't leave Hank alone like
     that."
          For the first time since she'd been married to
     him, Nancy Gribble felt a rush of concern for Dale flow
     through her.  Letting Peggy go, she stared at him in
     disbelief.
          "Dale Gribble, what the hell are you saying?"
          "I'm saying I can't leave Hank like that.  He
     wouldn't leave us there.  Alone.  Helpless."
          That much was true, and the guys knew it all too
     well.
          "Dale!  You can't be serious!  We, we've still got
     payments to make.  Places to see.  A child that needs
     raising!"
          Dale looked over at his son.  "I think you can
     take care of that much, Nancy," he said with a smile.
          She started, shocked by his answer. "Dale... honey-
     -."
          "I'm going back."  Before Nancy could utter
     another word, Dale pulled her into his arms, kissing
     her passionately.  Her arms flailed, settling down into
     a loving embrace, then he let her go.
          "And that was something long, long over due," said
     Dale.
          Nancy stood, breathless, pulse race in her veins.
     Kneeling next to Joseph, Dale pulled off his ballcap,
     placing it on his head.
          "You take care of your momma," he said, giving him
     a curt wink.
          Standing up, Dale looked at Boomhauer and Bill.
     "You guys coming?"
          They traded brief looks, then shrugged falling in
     behind Dale.
          "I go too," Kahn suddenly called out.
          Minh literally fell on her rear.
          "IIIIEEE!  Kahn, you crazy?"
          "Nooo, daddy!" cried Kahn Jr..
          "I not crazy.  Hank Hill more than once pull this
     Laotian redneck's butt out of fire.  I go too help my
     friend."
          Minh's chest heaved as she fought to force back
     her tears.  A firm hug greeted Kahn, both of his family
     members gripping him tight about the neck.
          "Not to worry," he said.  "We'll be back."
          "Girls, you and the kids get going," Dale told the
     women.  "We gotta get moving before this hoedown starts
     up.  If I heard that story right, Hanks gonna need all
     the help he can get."
          Scared eyes watched as the four men headed back
     into the town.  Luanne wiped her eyes dry, wishing
     there was some way to stop all of this from happening.
          "Aunt Peggy, we better go," she said, taking a
     brief glance at her wristwatch.  "It's two minutes to
     noon."
          With heavy tears, the small group continued on
     along the trail.

                          * * * * *

          Nothing move in Justin.
          Hank Hill stood in the center of the main street,
     waiting for the arrival of Dodson Earl and his band of
     desperados.  A slow tune played in his mind, the theme
     song from `High Noon' repeating over and over.
          The church bell rang out, signally that noon had
     finally come.  Hank took a defiant stance, hooking his
     thumbs behind the broad buckle of his belt, legs spread
     slightly apart.
          Something flashed off along the horizon.  He
     squinted, trying to make out what is was.  A swirling
     cloud of dust and dirt could be seen, growing larger
     and larger as the seconds passed.
          Another flash, this time Hank could see the form
     of riders amidst the cloud.  Twelve by his count.
     Twelve riders ,the hooves of their horses sparking and
     flashing with every step made.
          "On this to be our wedding day," muttered Hank as
     the Earl Gang reached the outskirts of town.
          The riders slowed to a trot, entering the town
     like they owned it.  Their arrogance was blatant, even
     having the nerve to take the time to tether their
     mounts on the jailhouse railing.
          The tallest of them paused briefly to stare at him
     before dismounting.  When they were all on foot, he led
     them down the street.
          Hank waited until they were well within pistol
     range before speaking.
          "That's far enough," he called out.
          The tall man stopped as the rest of the riders
     took up positions on either side of him.
          Hank looked him over.  Even at this distance the
     man was intimidating.  Wearing a black hat covered with
     dust, he was badly in need of a shave.  Beneath the
     dirty white range coat he wore, a black button down
     shirt covered his massive chest, Levi jeans and dark
     boots completing his attire.
          "I can assume you're Dodson Earl?" said Hank.
          Dodson Earl rubbed his chin with a smirk.  "And
     who's ask'n?" he said in a rough voice.
          "Hank Hill, Sheriff of the town of Justin."
          Earl's eyes lit up.  He chuckled, breaking out
     into a laugh that was quickly picked up by the rest of
     his gang.
          "Hehehehehee, d'ya hear him, boss!" cackled a
     short, reedy little man next to him, brandishing a
     sawed-off shotgun.  "He say's he's the sheriff!"
          "I heard'em, Shorty," replied Earl.
          They all laughed some more, finally settling down.
          "And what can I do for you, Sheriff?" Dodson asked
     Hank.
          "Well, you and you boys can start by git'n back on
     them horses of your, and ride on to Hell where you
     desperados belong."
          Earl started, an expression of skepticism on his
     face.  He stared at Hank, then broke out into another
     fit of laughter.
          "Now if that ain't the best thing I heard all
     day!" said Earl, doubling over unable to control
     himself.
          Shorty drew himself up, mimicking Hank's stance.
     "You all git back on them horseys and ride on to Hell
     where you belong," he said, imitating Hank's voice as
     best he could.
          Hank sneered, but maintained control of his
     emotions.  Earl and his gang finally settled down.
          "I don't (he, he) I don't know where Ben George
     finds'em, but these Sheriuffs get funnier and funnier
     every time we come back here."
          "They sure do, boss!" agreed Shorty.
          "I don't think what I said was something to be
     laughing at, Earl," Hank said.
          "Oh is that so, Hank Heeuul!"
          "It's `Hill'.  Get it right."
          Dodson clicked his tongue, wagging a finger in
     Hank's direction.  "Boys, we got ourselves a real live
     one here.  An honest too gosh, root'n toot'n, bang'em
     up, shoot'em up... Tenderfoot!"
          Earl's men chuckled, but their eyes were locked
     menacingly on Hank, ready to cut him down.
          Hank fought down the fear in him, clearing his
     throat.  "I'm warning you, Dodson Earl.  You and your
     boys better git back up on them horses and ride outta
     here before I have to do something that you're all
     going to regret."
          The threat in his words was clear to them all.
          "Now, boss.  Now?" asked Shorty, fingers itching
     nervously on the trigger of his shotgun.
          Dodson shook his head.  "No," he said, taking a
     few steps forward.
          "This'll be your only chance, Earl," finished
     Hank.
          "Hmm," Earl grunted.  "You know, Hill, I like your
     character.  Not afraid to speak his mind, a brave man.
     Stupid, but brave nonetheless."
          "And?"
          "And I'm going too do something I never done
     before.  I'm gonna give you a chance."
          It was Hank's turn too appear confused.  "Give me
     a chance?"
          "Yep.  All you have'ta do is drop that gunbelt and
     walk away.  Plain and simple."
          The thought of walking out of this fight briefly
     crossed Hank's mind.  Returning to his family sounded
     good, but where would be the dignity of it.
          "Need time too think about it, Hill?" asked Earl.
     He crossed his thick arms across his chest.  "Okay,
     I'll give you a few minutes to decide."
          Hank said nothing.

                          * * * * *

          They were halfway to the parking lot when Bobby
     stopped dead in his tracks.  His mind was filled with
     images of his father laying dead in the middle of the
     street.  He shook his head, trying to force back those
     dark visions.
          "Come on, Bobby, we're almost there," said Luanne
     as she walked past.
          Bobby started to turn, but could not take another
     step.  "No!" he shouted.
          "Bobby Hill, get your butt moving right this
     minute!" Peggy shouted at him.
          "But mom, dad's back there fighting for those
     people, and all we can do is abandon them?"
          "Bobby, we've been all through this already, so
     come on!"
          "No," Bobby said again, taking a few steps back.
          "Bobby Hill," trailed Peggy.
          He was gone in a flash, scrambling back down the
     path towards Justin.
          "BOBBY!"
          "Bobby, where are you going?" called Luanne.
          "To help my dad!" he replied.
          Joseph grimace, glancing back and forth between
     him and his mother.
          "Gotta go, mom," he finally said, sprinting after
     Bobby.
          "Joseph!" cried Nancy.
          Minh never had a chance to grab Kahn Jr., the girl
     taking off seconds after Joseph.
          "BAO!  BAO!  KAHN JUNIOR, GET BACK HERE!" she
     screeched, darting off after her.
          "Oh damn!" growled Nancy.
          "Well let's not stand here, girls!" shouted Peggy.
          They set off after their wayward children.

                          * * * * *

          Dodson Earl's patience was beginning to grow thin.
     "Well, Hill.  What'll it be?"
          Hank pulled the folds of his range coat behind
     him.  "Are you ready to leave, Earl?" came his reply.
          Dodson Earl's brows furrowed together.  He looked
     around at his gang, then pointed a menacing finger at
     Hank.
          "You think you gonna be able to take all of us,
     Hank Heeuul!"
          "I a'recon I do."
          "By yourself?"
          "By myself."
          "Alone?"
          "Yep."
          "Not alone," called a familiar voice from one of
     the side streets behind Hank.
          Dale Gribble stepped out, wearing a pair of six-
     shooters on his hips, that oversized dusty brown-white
     hat set back on his head.  Kahn appeared behind him, a
     serape straight out of a Clint Eastwood move draped
     over his shoulders.  Steps sounded from the street on
     his left; Bill appearing two pistols at his sides.  Up
     the street walked Boomhauer.  He carried a Winchester
     rifle in his hands, bandoliers of bullets crisscrossing
     his chest.
          "Dale!  What the hell do you guys thing you're
     doing?" Hank said as they flanked him.
          "Helping you, Hank," replied Dale.  "And not a
     word `bout my hat."
          Boomhauer jacked the lever of the Winchester up,
     priming it.  "Y-y-youfellasbestg-g-
     getyourbuttsonouttahere, like right now," he said.
          Shorty let out a cackle.  "Hehehehe, hey boss.
     Looks like Hill here got him some depeties!"
          "I can see that, Shorty," Earl snarled back at his
     sidekick.  He regarded the new arrivals silently.
          "So, Earl.  You about ready to go?" said Hank.
          An evil sneer curled Dodson Earl's lip.  "You got
     to be kidding me.  You think I'm going to leave because
     of some walking scarecrow, a toothpick carrying a
     rifle, a tub of lard who looks like he just lost his
     woman,"
          Bill pouted.  "Naw, that wasn't nice," he said
     sadly.
          "A Chinaman,"
          "Hey!" shouted Kahn.  "I not Chinese.  I Laotian!
     Get it right, big mouth!"
          "And some ornery tenderfoot who thinks he can take
     me?  Hill, I was gonna let you live, but I changed my
     mind.  I'm going to enjoy blowing your brains out of
     the back of your head."
          Hank's right hand poised over the pistol in its
     holster.  "Then I think the next move is yours, Dodson
     Earl."
          At the far end of the street behind them, Bobby,
     Joseph, and Kahn Jr. reached the corner.  They stopped,
     huffing and panting for breath, exhausted after all the
     running they did.
          "(huff, huff), Bobby!" Joseph said, pointing up
     the street.
          He looked up, eyes filling with excitement.
     Before Bobby could call out, A pair of hands grabbed
     him by each shoulder, spinning him around.
          "(Huh, Huh, Huh)  Bobby Hill... huh, huh, I am
     going to tan your little hide but good!" Peggy shouted
     at him.
          "Mom!" he said pointing up the street.
          Peggy looked up, resetting her glasses.  She let
     out a gasp, hands pressing fearfully up to her chin.
          "Hank!" Peggy called out.
          Hank heard her, head turning slightly back.  "Dale-
     -,"
          "I didn't bring her."
          Now it was time to panic.  Hank knew even with the
     help of his friends, there was no way they could get
     all of the Earl Gang.  No, some how he would have to
     tip the odds in his favor, then a plan came to mind.
          "Earl, I'll do you one better."
          "How's that?"
          "One-on-one.  Mano-un-mano."
          Earl's eyes blinked rapidly.  "You call'n me out,
     Heeuul?"
          "Yep.  What's wrong, boy.  Scared?"
          Several of the Earl Gang snickered at Hank's
     comment.
          "Hehheeheheeheh, say boss!  I think Hill's calling
     you out!"
          "Shut up, Shorty!" snapped Dodson.  "I kin hear."
          "So what'll it be, Earl?"
          The decision was swift.
          "Get out of the street, boys," Dodson Earl told
     his men.
          "AW, boss, we ain't going to get any fun?"
          "Get outta the street!"
          The Earl Gang scurried off to the sidewalk.
          "You heard him, fellas," Hank said to his friends.
          "You sure you know what you're doing, Hank?" asked
     Dale.
          "Quite sure."
          Dale backed away, leaving Hank standing alone.
          The flaps of Earl's coat drew back exposing the
     six-shooter at his side.
          "You want a countdown, Heeuul?"
          "Nope.  Won't need one."
          "Then draw."
          Tension filled the street as the two men eyed one
     another waiting for the first move.  Peggy and Bobby
     could only stare in fright, prying that Hank would come
     out of this fight in one piece.
          The eyes of the two duelist never left each other.
     Suddenly, Dodson Earl's hand flashed, reaching for his
     pistol.  Two sharp cracks spit the air.
          Hank stood frozen in place, his pistol drawn and
     aimed at Earl.  The desperado too was immobile, pistol
     drawn out at Hank.  Finally, Dodson Earl stood
     straight.
          "Where'd you learn how draw so fast, Hank Hill?"
     he asked.
          "Quarterback, Arlen State, nineteen seventy-
     seven," replied Hank.
          "Hmm, pretty good.  Pretty darn good."
          Dodson Earl's pistol dropped to the ground, the
     hand that held it nothing more than crumbling dust.
     His whole body melted away with the wind, then a loud
     shriek carried from Shorty and the rest of the gang as
     they too crumbled away.
          Hank reholstered his pistol and stood up.
          "Hank!" exclaimed Peggy.  She rushed out, giving
     him the strongest hug she ever gave him.
          "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Peggy.  My back, remember?"
          "I'll take care of your back," she replied,
     kissing him firmly.
          "Hot damn, Hank!" exclaimed Bill.  "I never
     thought I'd ever get to see something like that in my
     lifetime."
          "And I never hope you get to see it again, Bill."
          "Amen to that!" said Dale.
          Ben George's voice called Hank from behind.  The
     entire town of Justin stood arrayed before them, smiles
     on their faces.  Setting Peggy aside, Hank walked over
     to the mayor.
          "We're grateful for what you have done for us,
     Hank Hill," said Ben George, shaking his hand.
          "Was my pleasure, Ben."
          "Now we can rest in peace.  Thank's again, Hank
     Hill."
          The citizens of Justin started to walk off, fading
     away in speckles of light as they made the final
     journey to their resting places.
          Elizabeth appeared before Joseph.  She grinned,
     then pecked him lightly on the cheek.  Joseph held a
     hand to his face as she faded away.
          "Wow," gasped Bobby.  "She kissed you."
          "Yeah.  Does that mean I'm experienced now?"
          They all laughed.
          A strong gust of wind abruptly passed through the
     town.  When the dust finally settle, what once was
     richly decorated buildings were now old and weathered
     shacks crumbling with decay.
          The sound of a harmonica caught their ears.  Hank
     spotted the old man they had met earlier that day
     sitting in one of the broken down chairs on the
     sidewalk.
          Telling everyone to stay there, he walked over.
          "I know who you are now," said Hank.
          The old man stopped playing.  "You do?"
          "Sure.  You're the first sheriff.  Right?"
          A grin formed.  "That you are, Hank Hill."
          "It was you who brought us here, wasn't it?"
          "Yep.  Condemned to search for a true hero.  Looks
     like I finally found one."
          The old man stood, tucking his harmonica away.
     "Well, my job is done.  Much obliged to you folks."
          Hank could only stare in awe as he fading out of
     sight.
          "Guess that's the last one," said Dale.
          "Yep."
          Peggy eyes blinked as something bright and shiny
     reflected the sunlight into her eyes.  She shielded
     them, searching for the source, then paused.
          "Oh my," she said.
          Everyone followed her gaze down to the badge on
     Hank's chest.  It gleamed in the light, a bright silver
     star with the words `Sheriff, Justin' in raised
     lettering across the center.
          "Well, Hank.  Guess you can wear that thing with
     honor now," commented Dale.
          Hank stared down at the badge.  He smiled, rubbing
     the sleeve of his shirt on it to buff it up.
          "I think you're right, Dale," he replied.  "Come
     on, people, lets get a move on.  We still have a
     cookoff to win."




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