At 02:15 PM 10/21/99 -0400, DB Sommer wrote:
As always, C+Cing as I go along:
As always, replying as I go along.
Nahato floated, and watched the deadly grace of the sea
dragon as it approached. The undulating movements of its
fish-scaled body seemed to coincide with each gentle roll and dip
of the waves. An almost dead calm had fallen upon the Sea of
Tears in the presence of the monster; the winds had died to
nothing, so that the waves which had battered him and driven him
beneath the surface now became soft caressings that bobbed him up
and down like a buoy.
But he is a boy. (Yes. Feel free to slap me now. ^_^)
No. I'm lazy. Come over here, and I'll slap you. :)
Tears, both of agony and grief, still lay upon his cheeks.
But the calm had fallen on him, too, in presence of the terrible
majesty.
But calm had fallen on him, too, in the presence
(works better for me. The other way sounded very awkward)
I'll look and see. You're probably right. I have the bad habit in my
writing of using more words than I actually need to. :)
For the first time, he was staring his own death in the
face, only to find himself unafraid. It would be quick and
painless--he'd be a mere morsel to those vicious jaws. Or so he
told himself. But then he felt a warmth at his waist, soon
sapped by the chill of the sea.
Someone had a little too much to drink and couldn't hold it anymore, I see.
"I told you to go before we left!"
"You think such bonds can hold one such as I?"
So, Lemulla isn't into bondage. I think that's for the best. ^_^
Bad Sommer. No biscuit.
then how the black of its eyes flickered and roiled, shadows over
shadows. He was in the presence of his god, or at least the eyes
of his god watched him from behind the gaze of this hapless
vessel.
So the god does have some influence in the real world. Interesting.
Nahato seems to think it does, yes.
They were the last words she ever spoke. The jaws of the
dragon yawned wide as a cavern; the head plunged. Lemulla made
no sound as she was caught up and shaken, so that her body
cracked up and down like a whip. Nahato heard the snap as her
spine broke, and then all the other sounds, the tearing of flesh
and the splatter of blood upon the waves, was drowned out beneath
his own screaming.
Hmm. Tough boss.
Some people have jealous gods. The Phantom Tribe have a psychotic one.
"You're _designed_ to do what I tell you." Her brother
extracted a comb from his pocket and began to rearrange his
dishevelled hair. "And while murder between sibling rivals has a
grand and glorious tradition, history, literature and drama have
all shown that it seems to come for a bad end for the murdering
sibling."
heh. Nice rationalization for not whacking her on his part.
Not entirely a rationalization... more like an attempt to be witty than
anything else.
Nanami looked back, out of the corner of her eye, and saw
the light gleaming off the featureless oval of Lethiaphan's face.
Curling strands of green hair like
hair-like
(perhaps?)
Nope. It's a simile; Lethiaphan's hair is being compared to seaweed.
"Infatuation! You jerk, what would you know about male-
female relationships anyway?"
"A lot. I'm attracted to you, after all." Katsuhiko replied.
Bad! No biscuit!
"I'd rather embrace one of your Bugrom," Nanami said dryly.
"Especially the cute one, Groucho."
"He's got a sexy carapace."
(Have there ever been any lemons with the Bugrom? Lord, I hope not.)
A breeze blew gently through the long grass atop the cliffs
that rose hulkingly above the beach, and descended the stepped
walkway wind and rain had hollowed out in times out of mind. It
made tiny waves upon the grainy beach sand, and then broke upon
the stern of the overturned fishing boat before it could touch
the girl who sat with her back against the bow, braiding her
long hair.
Ah, finally back to her. All that's missing is an update on Ifurita now.
See next chapter. :)
"God speaks to the pure heart," she quoted in reply. They
smiled at one another, and he touched her shoulder.
"Don't backtalk me!" And he threw her over the cliffs and into the sea
below.
"Hey? What was the point of her character, then?" the readers asked.
"Hey! Don't backtalk me!" the author said. "Damn, I wish I had a cliff to
throw you all over."
had nagged at him before, but had been subsumed since Ifurita's
loss by the question of her return. What would it be like to go
back, leave behind the friends he'd made, leave behind the beauty
of this place... go back to Earth and be normal, perhaps, unable
to communicate with machines at the touch of his hand...
But would you really want to talk to something Bill Gates designed? ^_^
Imagine the fun he could have interfacing with a dating simulator, though.
^_^
of it. He reached out with his power, which felt rather like
trying to summon up the memory of a face, and found Lethiaphan.
Doing so made his mind feel greasy and queasy.
Like eating Mexican food.
Taco Bell... so good when you eat it... so bad an hour later...
Hmm. This one seemed shorter and very little happened, although it was
necessary to take some down time after the nasty fight last chapter.
Well, as the title implies... this is an interlude. In musical terms, this
chapter is the intermezzo. :)
Less
grammar mistakes too (not that there was ever that many) Hope to see more
of this real soon.
Chapter Eight is with the prereaders. I'm poking them with sticks even as
I write. :)
Thanks for the usual great commentary, DB.
Ciao,
-Alan Harnum