"Rebeka Thomas" <ranko_1_2@hotmail.com> wrote:
I'm writing a fanfic that's a crossover between Ranma 1/2, and Homer's
"Odyssey."
Surprised no-one's done it as yet, if i'm mistaken please send me to that
persons page or send me that fanfic.
I can't think of anyone who has....
Anyone wanna help?
Need a pre-reader?
Here's all I have at the moment:
Introduction:
[Homer, but anyone who has heard of the odyssey knows this line] "Sing to
me, Muse, the tale of a man who was never at a loss.. Who could turn any
bad
situation upside down...."
Calliope [Greek mythology: Muse of epic poetry] sighs in exasperation.
"There's been a problem. Someone else has entered the story, someone sent
back in time from thrice again in the future the length of time that it was
in the past. [grumbling] Sent back by a certain green-haired someone who
likes meddling in the timeline. Very well... I will tell you the story; of
the man who was never at a loss, and the man who would always win."
Yes, that does seem to sound like Ranma....
-------cut-------
[Ranma recovers from however it is that sailor pluto sends things around in
time]
He then heard a booming voice shouting "Hoi d' apameibomenoi hepea
pteroent'
agorevon!!!!!"
[note: "O my friends, Noman is killing me by craft and not by main
force!!!!!"]
The translation I read used Nobdy as the name Odysseus used to fool the
Cyclops.
Then, a passing goddess
Make it Athena. She messes around in the Odyssey enough anyway. There may
not even be a need for a bribe if she sees a way for Ranma to useful to
Odysseus....
[who had been bribed by sailor pluto] noticed this,
said "oops," and stuck a fish in Ranma's ear. [Reference: Babel fish, from
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.]
[Yes, I know that the babel fish only translates what you hear, not what
you
speak. I'm going to assume that that's a devolved variety from those around
circa 1200 BCE]
Go for it. Of course, if you do use Athena, there's no reason the goddess of
wisdom couldn't use her own power for some sort of translation effect....
Then, Ranma saw several one-eyed giants replying; "Well, if no man is using
force, and you are alone, there's no help for a bit of sickness when heaven
sends it; so you had better say your prayers to Lord Poseidon your father!"
Ranma sat there stunned for an hour or so [Yes, he is shocked out of his
wits that much.]
I think most people would be. Of course, if one of the one-eyed giants
attempted to attack him, Ranma would deal with it quite readily.
Then, he sees the giant from inside the cave rolling the boulder at the
entrance aside. Then he, apparently recently blind, guides his sheep out,
feeling their backs to make sure the men who are currently tied to their
undersides don't escape on their backs.
[note: POV changes here. Still 3rd person limited, but limited to a
different person]
Then, Goggle-eye felt the back of the ram Odysseus was under, and just
barely avoided brushing against his hand. "Hullo, why are you last to-day,
you lazy creature? It is not like you to let them leave you behind! No no
no, you go first by a long run, to eat your grass, and drink first at the
river, first to come home too! Are you perhaps sorry for your master's eye?
That villain, Noman, [Odysseus, or 'Noman,' has to stifle a snicker here]
has not escaped yet, not by a long shot! If only you had sense like me, and
could speak, you might tell me where he is, [At this point, Ranma has to
stifle a snicker] for my vengeance! I would beat his head on the ground,
that his brains might splatter all over my cave."
At this point, Odysseus noticed a young man in a pigtail, whose features
suggested that he was from some nation that he had never been to. [Thus,
distracted enough to let the cyclops go back into the cave where he
couldn't
hear them]
Wait a minute...how does Odysseus thoughts distract the Cyclops from his
rambling?
"I say, young man, what are you doing, just standing there gawking?
Introduce yourself, please!"
He then replied "My name is Ranma, student of the Anything-Goes style of
Martial Arts, my father is Genma, and I live in the city of Nerima"
[note: This is the babel fish speaking for him, translating his
introduction
into the customary one of the time. Compare with 'Odysseus the conqueror of
Troy, whose father is Laertes and whose adress is in Ithaca']
[Switch-POV]
Ranma thought... Did I just say that? Just as well, since it's probably how
people introduce themselves here.
"Very well. I am Odysseus, the conqueror of Troy, the son of Laertes, whose
adress is in Ithaca!"
Odysseus... where had Ranma heard that name before... he rolls the
syllables
over in his mind.... O-di-si-su.... Ou-dyi-shi-o..... [several more times
until he arrives at whatever the katakana is in the japanese version of the
odyssey, any help please?] __-__-__-__!! He's the guy in the book in
literature class!
Sorry, don't speak Japanese.
"I'm lost far away from my homeland, without a ship. Do you think that you
could take me as far as [thinking] Phaiacia? [that was the place that had
the safe transport service in the book]"
"I'm not going there, [Ranma thinks 'Oh yes you are'] But I'll be glad to
send you there after I reach Ithaca."
If you're giving Ranma much knowledge of Odysseus' travels, how will this
affect those travels? What would happen if Ranma tried to warn Odysseus of
some of the more troublesome events?
[transition scene to ship]
The cyclops emerged from his cave again. Odysseus decided that he would not
bear not to be remembered, and yelled "I say, Cyclops!"
Ranma advised "i wouldnt do that if i were you...."
"shut up, boy! i can't bear not being remembered for what i've done!" [out
loud] "If ever anyone asks who put out your ugly eye, tell him your blinder
was Odysseus, the conqueror of Troy, the son of Laertes, whose address is
in
Ithaca!"
Oh, right, Odysseus is arrogant enough to ignore all such advice. My bad.
It's been a _long_ time since I've read The Odyssey. Of course, after several
incidents....
Polyphemus roared, and shouted "So, the old prophecy was true! I had
expected 'Odysseus' to be a tall, handsome fellow, clothed in mighty power.
Now a nobody, a weakling, a whippersnapper, has blinded my eye after
getting
me drunk! Come to me, Odysseus, and let me give you the stranger's gift,
let
me beseech the worshipful earthshaker to grant you a happy voyage! For I
have the honor to be his son, and he declares he is my father. He will cure
me, without the help of anyone else God or Mortal alike!"
"I WISH I COULD KILL YOU SO THAT NOBODY NOT EVEN THE EARTHSHAKER CAN
UNBLIND
YOU!!!"
At this, Polyphemus holds out his hand to the heavens, and prays to
Poseidon: "If I am truly your son, and you are indeed my father, grant that
Odysseu1s, conqueror of Troy, son of Laertes, whose address is in Ithaca,
may never reach his home! But if he is already destined to do so, may he
come late and in misery, alone in a borrowed ship, and may he find those at
home plotting against him!" [Author-person snickers to herself, and
finishes
the line: 'and his little dog, too!]
[note to all: this is all for now, but when Poseidon throws a boulder down
into the water to knock the ship off-course, expect a splash of water to
hit
Ranma.]
Well, duh. And, of course, none of Odysseus' crew will not have seen, much
less touched, a woman since leaving Troy...Ranma may get a good chance to show
off his combat abilities. Let's hope Odysseus' can restrain his men before
Ranma has knock too many of them out. Leaving an island without conscious
sailors would not be the best idea in the world.
Defender of the Light
Elite Mage
Junior Member of the Inner Circle of the Mage's Council
"Contrary to popular opinion, magic and science _do_ mix."
"Of _course_ I cheated. Scientists think magic is cheating, and mages think
most forms of technology are cheating. I use both."
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