Matthew Maddocks wrote:
Thought I was dead, wished I was dead, but I will never yield! I
will write things and post them to this list until I'm kicked off. I
will write original stories until I die or their banned here!
Get over yourself.
Well here's my latest fic, nothing spectacular, just my first Sci-Fi
fic ever. I hope you send C&C on it, or at least read it. It's the least
dark fic I have ever written or ever will. So enjoy!
SEND C&C please. I will even except flames! *_*
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Chapter 1: Grim Reaper
The year is 2186. Mankind has developed true space travel, with the
ability to go just beyond the speed of light. With the ability to create
air, water and gravity, they could now truly explore space.
You make it sound as if fast travel lets them create matter and gravity.
And so the people of Earth colonized planet's and moons in the solar
"planets"
system. Every planet except for Mercury that is, due to intense heat and
unpredictable conditions.
Conditions on Mercury are very predictable.
And so then came the political problems. There was a civil war from
2132-2136, where Earth Government fought a faction called the Outer
Republic. Finally, after six years, the war ended with a stalemate, and
a peace treaty. The Outer Republic controlled the planet's of Pluto,
Neptune, Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn. While Earth government got a hold
of Mars, Earth, Venus and Mercury.
And so in this year, 2186, the story begins..........
In the deepness of space there was a space station. It was a
spinning sphere, massive in size. Big enough to sustain over five
Sentence fragment.
thousand people. It orbited the moon around Earth. Blue and white colors
were spread across the station, showing that it was most likely a Earth
Government space station. And this was confirmed by the large yellow
stars painted on the station in a circular shape.
Sentence fragment.
A ship head up toward's the station. It was painted a dark gold
"A ship approached the station"
yellow, with red stripes all over it. The ship was shaped like two
You've got a bad case of "See Dick run" prose. Try combining some of these
thoughts a little more. For example, "The ship approaching the station was
painted a dark gold with red stripes."
cylinders with one cylinder on top of it. The ship received a signal
That shape isn't exactly inspirational.
from the station. "Republic ship Alexander. This is Galaxy 1. You have
clearance to dock."
And so the ships docking engine's came on suddenly in blue jets of
fire. It moved slowly toward's the space station but was interrupted by
another ship.
Out of no where appeared a small ship about a third the size of the
"Out of nowhere"
Alexander. It was shaped like a scythe blade and painted all black. On
the top was written these words in blood red, "Death."
That is one word.
The ship opened fire in crimson beams of energy. The Alexander and
galaxy 1 had no time to defend, and therefore were destroyed in only
seconds. Explosions were heard and seen from miles upon miles away.
After the explosion had stopped the hip vanished again, leaving only
wreckage behind........
A figure stood in front of a table. Pointing toward's a display
screen that showed a freeze frame of the black ship.
Sentence fragment.