Tenshi
by Nightsinger (Nightsinger@mindless.com)
Standard Disclaimer: don't own the rights, not intended for profit. I
accept reponsibility for the story's ideas and the abuse of the plot
and manipulation of the original characters.
Ideas may offend some of readers, if not please re-read
previous Prologue's Omake to ensure offense. Otherwise, please
download a patch to upgrade your sense of humor. I believe the
Microsoft version still needs to be debugged - the wonders of
technology. Offended? Too bad. *insert demented laugh*
One last thing, I do recommend reading the prologue before
reading this. Not neccessarily the Omake.
Chapter 1 - "A night of memories and of sighs," by Walter Savage Landor
Darkness.
"Anata... honto ni aishiteru." a soft quiet voice called from
the darkness. Soft, yet sadly sweet. So familiar and painful. A stray
scent of white plum blossoms called and beckoned him.
"To...moe...? Tomoe? TOMOE!!!!!"
Frantically fighting the panic, he turned to chase after the
voice and the scent. Sprinting after the source in the empty darkness.
Whether of not it was a memory, dream or even rational it simply
didn't matter. Dangerously flickers of golden motes of light ignited
and exploded in his eyes, burying the normally gentle violet purple
eyes. Some part of screamed out, warning the danger of beast and the
seething rage of the Battousai, but that didn't matter. Only Tomoe.
Recalling a flash back at the bridge before departing Kyoto,
he swore he would protect her happiness. In the first time, he failed.
Biting back the bitterness and pain, he instinctively focused on her
face and her last moments. Thus finally triggering the complete
transformation of the Hitokiri Battousai. This time if she was alive
again, some how or by some way, he will find her. And this time
definitely make sure he would protect her and their happiness. No
matter what cost.
The same part of his mind that tried rejecting the Battousai,
tried tempting and reminding him about Kaoru and their 'family'. With
one word, everything else vanished. Tomoe. His greatest sorrow and
regret, his original sin. His darkness was also hers, her joy was also
his. With her, he could finally become complete. What profound simple
joy or love he could find with Kaoru, was nothing to the completeness
found in Tomoe.
Hearing a faint familiar lullaby, he quickly adjusted the
slight change in direction and continued sprinting above god-like
speed. The physical strain of muscles threatening to tear while his
bone groaned to warn to danger of being crushed under the strain. So
many memories, both wonderful and painful. Tomoe, his first. Mother,
companion, friend, wife, lover and love. She was all that and more.
They say to love is one thing, to be loved is another, to love and be
loved is everything.
Gomenasai Kaoru-dono. What we had or didn't have was
wonderful, but... Tomoe. Blinking away the tears, he continued to
accelerate clawing into air as if to escape the guilt and greater
pain. Gomen Sanosuke. Even as he ran further in the dark, he left a
silvery trail of tears. Gomen Yahiko. With each tear glowing their own
unique light, they reflected scenes and memories of Kaoru and the
others. Gomen Megumi. Gomen minna...
He didn't know how far or how fast he ran, but it didn't feel
enough. The emotional pain and guilt was overwhelming, but the body
was too strong and well trained while the physical pain was too little
and insignificant. Heavily breathing with both sweat and tears, he
stood in the dark. Standing far away from the distant light. In the
light was a scene of serenity and forest green. A painful mockery of
the scene that was from his worst memory and nightmare. The birthing
place and origin of the Hitokiri Battousai.
The Kekkai Forest. The place where she accidentally scarred
him, thus completing his infamous crossed scar. The scene were he
tried rescuing her and ultimately attacked her, while she sacrificed
herself to save him. And the scene where he held her dying body as she
tried comforting him. So much things and more, that only words,
thoughts or emotions could not or would not convey or express that to
do other would be a betrayal or simply inadequate.
And the forest... just simply gleamed and shone with warmth,
acceptance and innocence. So pure and untainted, that felt like
ghoulish parody of his nightmares and memory. Gone was the coppery
scent of blood and white plum blossom. Gone was the encroaching
darkness and the overwhelmingly subdued silence. From deep within the
light, hidden by foliage a hauntingly soft voice continued to sing
that lullaby.
I wasn't so much as the song, it was the way it was sung and
voice. While it wasn't the most skilled or beautiful voice, the
subtlety and hidden depths and beauty seemed sublimed. With each pause
and intonation there hinted a hint of pain and regret. A darkness from
deep within that no light could banish or destroy. A private hell or
burden to mental torture you're self with guilt. A darkness that
complemented and sympathised with his own.
Tomoe. Snapping out of his daydream he realised he was now
standing in the patch of light with the dreaded perfect replica of the
Kekkai forest. Pushing away the branch of one of the trees to finally
reveal the singer, he saw the familiar figure of a young beautiful
woman kneeling away from him. Dressed in a iridescent white kimono,
her hair was tied back in a familiar pony-tail.
Surprised by the old and familiar aching feeling of
overwhelming desire, he quickly tried to calm himself. Distracted by
the erotic swaying of her hips and body as she held something in her
arms, his desire and wonder soon gave way to curiosity. Finally giving
in, he did the only thing he could think of doing.
"Tomoe..." With one word, he expressed pain, sorrow, regret,
desire, love and storm of other emotions.
Startled by a voice. Especially that of Kenshin's, she slowly
turned around to face her husband.
"Anata. Is this a dream or illusion? Or are you really dead?"
With her soft voice, she subtly expressed a mixture of at least desire
and longing..
Moving forward, she instinctively moved her arm to caress his
face as if to feel if he was real. Feeling the sudden resistance in
her arms, she abruptly stopped and averted her face with regret.
Shifting her shoulders slightly, she seemed both apologetic and
embarrassed.
Moving forward to intercept and sweep her in a desperate hug,
he froze as she subtly rejected him. Feeling the beginning of the
return of his depression and self loathing, his soul shatter unlike
before. This time, it was different. With the nightmares, it seemed
more simpler and brutal. This was too strange and felt too real. That
simple rejection brought back thousands of memories and encounters
that only time could blur, change and forget. More importantly if felt
real, like as if she really was alive.
Absent mindedly brushing away and holding the stray white plum
blossom from her hair, he forced his body to calm and relax. While
there were subtle changes like her more open expression of pleasure,
the fundamental traits were there. The subtle nuances that only
partner could recall and her compelling dark eyes hinting an
undercurrent of deep hidden emotions that only his ki training could
hint.
Trying to hide and ignore the pain and hurt he felt, his eyes
subtly lowered as he tried to avoid in revealing the pain and turmoil.
Settling his eyes on the new focus, he stared. And stared. Not even
noticing her hint of discomfort and embarrassment, he continued to
stare. Shifting slightly with discomfort but glued to the sight, he
continued staring.
Blushing in the first time for at least the first time in a
decade, he consciously allowed himself to continue staring with great
fascination and a hint perverse interest. Forgetting the lapse of pain
and depression, he indulged himself on the feeling of wonder and
prayed beyond his wildest dreams or imagination. In her arms he saw a
baby, instinctively clutching the mother's breast as it feed. Tomoe's
breast. Mesmerised by both the baby and the alluring hint of nudity,
he didn't notice the expanding blush on his wife's face.
Faintly aware and disturbed with his improper actions and
thoughts, the allure and beauty of love and sex seemed more
captivating than ever before. Mentally arguing about the continued
celibacy caused by the guilt and penance from the memory and image of
Tomoe, it felt so easy surrender to the fantasy. All the opportunities
and chances to find happiness were rejected and enforced by the scars
and void were both caused directly and indirectly with Tomoe and her
death.
From the dark recesses of his mind long denied, quietly urged
and pleaded that what he was doing was both reasonable and
understanding. This was Tomoe, his wife. Didn't his body have needs
and desire. Didn't he abstain long enough? More than a decade, he
forced himself to ignore and suppress such simple basic need of
comfort and warmth. Didn't every time a woman tried to get close, he
would always remember Tomoe? More so, she was his own greatest sin and
regret.
The beautiful bre... Shaking his head, he re-focused on his
centre. The beautiful baby, he could see baby had the dark hair and
delicate bone structure of the mother. Staring at the delicate tiny
digits of toes as the legs stretched and clawed the open air, while
the hands gripped and cup the mother's breast. The sight was too
profound and beautiful, it was simply overwhelming.
The simple innocence and joy radiated from both mother and
child made him feel sad. It was wonderful to watch, but the blood on
his soul made him feel so corrupt and vile. Almost as if he was
unworthy to be in their presence.
A stray urgent thought demanded to know the parentage of the
child. If this was heaven, did she find her ex-fiancee? Or someone
else. More importantly was it his? And if so, how could exist?
Wrapped in his own private hell, he didn't notice as Tomoe
openly expressed her worry about his withdrawn silence. Wincing at the
demanding attention of the baby, she once again focused on the baby as
she worried about his internal turmoil. As she pulled the unwilling
child from lunch and closed the front of her kimono.
As the baby gurgled with pleasure, he felt a slight twinge of
jealousy. Jealous of the innocence and the wonderful promising future
of joy with a mother. Turning away in shame, he almost didn't see as
the baby's eyes opened. And the world rocked and changed.
Barely remembering to breath, he inhaled a ragged breath
trying to calm himself. But the small rebellious part of his heart
gave way to the overwhelmingly growing sensation of awe and wonder as
it bathed his whole body. Shining forth that moment of pure
unadulterated joy, only felt three times before. It felt like that
perfect pinnacle of complete harmony and wonder, that was unique and
different with each experience.
The first time was with Tomoe, which even now seems too
sensitive to recall. While the second time was with Kaoru, that quiet
moment of mutual peace and tender understanding. Afterwards, he felt
the guilt and shame as if he completely betrayed Tomoe and everything
he learnt. Thus as a result made him withdraw more and more, making
her hurt more and more.
Trying to calm his voice and mind. A million questions raced
and spun around his mind, while he tried regaining a reasonable
composure, instead of grinning like a stupid idiot. For each of the
thousand questions he thought of asking, another thousand were
discarded as they defied any reasonable comprehension. Finally
settling for what he considered to be a reasonably safe enough
question. "Is it a girl or a boy?"
With a solemn face and mischievous eyes, Tomoe replied
"Congratulations, anata. It's a girl." Turning towards the baby, she
cooed. "Himura Tenshi, meet your silly vagabond father, who just
happened to decide in finally dropping in."
Calming ignoring the re-acquaintance of her long lost father,
Tenshi preferred to explore the fascinating challenge of trying to
chew her big toe.
Stunned by the changes and circumstances, he did the only
thing sensible. He collapsed.
Putting Tenshi down, so she could attend her unpredictable
husband, she failed to notice Tenshi's new challenge until it was too
late.
Fascinated by the bright red hair, Tenshi began her
fascinating adventure of playing with the bright pretty hair while
trying to munch on it. Unfortunately, she had far more success
drooling over her father's face and hair. Wanting to share her delight
with Tomoe, to turned to focus on her mother's face with her deep
liquid purple eyes.
End of Chapter 1 teaser
- ~ - ~ ^ ~ - ~ -
Authors note: finally decided on a rough plan and plot for the series
and each of the chapters. Unfortunately some areas are going to be a
bit difficult to write. Oh yes, I would like to apologise for the
Omake in the prologue. If you are still reading this, even if offended
by the Omake and a very obtuse prologue. I would like to congratulate
your persistence and tolerance.
As to why Tomoe and Kenshin seem slightly OOC? Well, time is a
funny thing to say the least.
While this draft is still extremely rough, it's still need of
major revision. So the final result may probably be lengthier and
different to what you've just read. Anywhere near the end of this
chapter? Not by a long shot - I think and hope. But it still needs a
lot more work, such as revision, plot to add and certain details to
research and check up. And that's only within this fic. Please
recommend changes and corrections.
They say patience is virtue, but too much you'll be a
delusional grey haired fool. So the final thing that I will add is
you'll have to wait - sorry. Quality above quantity and all that jazz.
Unfortunately my sense of ascetics and tastes in the end, may offend
and disappoint everyone's expectations.
Extra Note: While my browser has been screwing me over for the last
three times by reloading before i can send this message, i would like
to add that most of added comments more or less goes for the same as
in the one presented at the end of the prologue.
Hope you found this more interesting than the actual
prologue. I'm currently not too sure if this email server
requires a html format or if it accepts ascii, but it looks as
if i have to wait and see.
"Underneath the frightenly beautiful stars, I stand
Time to close my eyes and pray this world ends."
Aoi Arashi by Touma Yumi, from the Fushi Yuugi
Counterattack CD.
"Better to reign in hell, than serve in heav'n."
Paradise Lost, from Lucifer by Milton.
note 14/10 - sorry about not sending this with the prologue. internet
connection went walk-about, suppose to through this in with the prologue
as i did with the rkff. Repeat: NEED help. haven't written anything
for others in a long time.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Get your free email from AltaVista at http://altavista.iname.com