Subject: [FFML] [Utena][Fanfic] Given... and Taken Away
From: Tobimaro@aol.com
Date: 10/10/1999, 12:05 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Hello, all.

I was asked to forward this fanfic to the list by a good friend of mine.  C&C 
can be sent to the list, but for those that prefer private C&C, send them to 
me and I will forward them to the author of the story.

And now,...

-----------------------------------------
It's a story that's become all too common on the news these days.  
Some guy goes off his rocker for whatever reason, and decides he 
might as well take a few people with him on his way out.  So he 
shows up at some office building like Rambo and just sprays the 
lobby and everyone in it with bullets before turning the gun on 
himself.  It's sad, it's tragic, but it's always someone else's 
problem.  Just another news item.

And then it happens at my office.

Even then, it still doesn't touch me directly.  My little cubicle is 
so many floors and so many security checks removed from the action 
that I find out about the whole thing only because one of my 
colleagues has his radio constantly tuned to the all-news station.  
It actually takes us a minute to realize it happened (was happening?) 
in our building.  And as it turned out, no one in our office was 
involved in the incident, for which all of us are grateful.

But it was our building, after all, and maybe some of the guilt rests 
on us.  So the company president decides to pay funeral expenses and 
what-have-you to the victims' families, as a gesture of sympathy and 
goodwill.

I issue the checks.  It's my job, and I think I'm pretty good at it.  
This is routine work for me, even if the circumstances surrounding it 
couldn't be further from the routine.  I know what I need to do and I 
do it.  Until I come to two names on the casualty list:

Himemiya, Anthy.

And further down: Tenjo, Utena.

This isn't possible.

I just sit and stare at the names for what seems like an eternity.  
Finally, I make a decision.  My job done, I ask my boss for the rest 
of the day off.  It's granted without question.

I grab public transportation to the county coroner's office.  I *have* 
to know.

***

It's the sort of place that you've seen in detective movies and 
television shows.  But they can't prepare you for everything that 
confronts you when you walk into the morgue.  The smell, especially.  
Not that of death, to be sure, but the disinfectants are strong enough 
to make you think a little too hard about what they're covering up.

I actually work up the nerve to ask one of the lab coats if I may see 
the bodies.  There is a hesitation, and after some confusion (one of 
them finally asks if I'm *claiming* the two of them... evidently no 
one has up to now), they let me in.

A cabinet is opened, and the sheet pulled back.  Brown skin, just 
barely starting to take on the blue-gray pallor of death.  Short, 
curly, vaguely purple hair, but of a shade that looks natural for her.  

Her face looks odd without her glasses, but the disquieting expression 
of peace on her face is unmistakable.  Even in death, she is content 
with her lot.  It's just like Anthy.

My voice cracks as I turn to the lab coat.  "...and Utena...?"

Her hair looks more strawberry blonde than the deep pink I remember, 
and I can barely stand to look at her face, ruined as it from the 
effects of several bullets, but she, too, could not be recognized 
for anyone else.  Gods...

I close the cabinet with shaky hands, and get the hell out of there.

***

Nightfall finds me still wandering the streets of the city.  I am 
still aghast at it all.  All this time, I thought they were fiction, 
imaginary creations of the animator's mind.  And even before I 
discover otherwise, they cease to exist on this world after all.

Fate giveth, and fate taketh away...

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