The insanity continues. Thanks to everyone who've been reading. This is
a short fic and it's ending soon. Below you'll see the disclaimers I
forgot to include earlier. Although, I'm sure you knew we didn't own
these people.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
DISCLAIMER:
No, we do not own the Slayers
team, nor do we own Akio. Nor
do we WANT to own Akio or his
car. We don't own Ranko or the
scary shimmering lense at the
end. They all belong to the gods
and goddesses who created them.
Except Billy Bob, he was our idea.
*evil niko*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Slayers: WHAT THE-?
Part
2
--------------
"That...explains a lot." Zelgadis couldn't help himself. It was
just
too damn easy. "Anyways, where'd Gourry go?"
"Who knows, I know that I'M GONNA *KILL* XELLOS AS SOON AS I GET MY
HANDS ON HIM," Lina spat out.
"You mean, Xellos-oniisama."
"SHUT UP! FIRE-"
"It's starting again."
"Oh, sh-"
-------------
"Daddy! Wait, where are you going?" Lina Inverse ran up to her
father
and grabbed his hand.
He smiled at her and patted her head. "Don't worry Lina-chan, I'll
be
back later."
"Un, bye, Daddy."
"Goodbye, Lina-chan."
------------
"Mommy, where did Daddy go?" Luna looked across the table at her
mother
and sighed as she picked at her food.
Ranko picked up her gear and pulled about a month's supply of food
into
her pack. "I'm going to go find that out. Be back for dinner!"
"Bye, Mommy." Xellos hugged her around the waist and followed her
out
the door.
"You be good now, Xell-chan. Don't blow anything else up and for
L-sama's sake, leave your little sister alone. Do you promise?"
Xellos smiled. "Sore wa himitsu desu."
"Just don't sell her to anyone, okay?"
"Hai!"
------------
"LINA!!"
"Erk."
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"NOTHING!!! I SWEAR IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!"
"YOU'RE GONNA DIE FOR THIS!!!"
"I just wanted to show how cute you and Xellos-oniisama were when
you
were small!!"
"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SHOW THEM OUR STUPID BABY PICTURES!!!"
"But, Oneesama, you and Xellos-oniisama looked so adorable when you
were
playing with the kareoke machine, all dressed up! Remember the song you
two
used to sing together?" Lina burst into song. "Koi ni koi suru, onna no
ko ni
wa, mabushi sugiru no MY DARLING! Kira-kira rouge, pinku no piichi-"
"FIREBALL!!!"
Needless to say, the photo album was caught in the explosion.
--------------
"Onee-sama? When are Mommy and Daddy coming back?"
"Dunno."
Lina pikued. "But...Mommy's been gone for about eight months
now...and
Daddy even longer...you don't suppose Daddy ran into ongoing traffic
again
because he couldn't see the stoplight, do you?!"
"..."
Xellos grinned. "Don't worry, Lina-chan. I know exactly where Mommy
and
Daddy are!"
"You DO?!" Lina bounced up and down excitedly. "Where?"
"I'm afraid that's a secret."
------------
Lina frowned. "Xellos-oniisama, do you even remember Mommy and Daddy
now?"
"Yup." Niko.
"What were they like? I can't remember...it's been so long since
they
left..."
"That's a secret. See ya."
"Onii-sama, do you really think that they'll let YOU into the
Mazoku?"
Lina eyed her big brother critically.
But clearly, the "Mazoku Resistance Program--Just Say NO To Evil"
program at school needed work.
--------------
"I always did wonder what Xellos was like as a kid..."
"I AM going to destroy this thing!!!" A distictively
dangerous-looking
magical aura starting glowing around Lina's hand. "Darkness beyond
twiligh-"
"WAIT!!" Zelgadis grabbed the stone out of her hands and saved it
from anhillation. "You never know what it could hold inside!"
"LIKE WHAT?! THE KEY TO KILLING WHAT SANITY I HAVE LEFT!? LET ME
DESTROY THE DAMN THING!!!"
"Not until-oh hell..."
"What is it?" Lina was afraid to ask, but the current idiocy running
around seemed to kill whatever common sense she had left.
"You'll see in a second..."
-------------
"Lina...I'll show you the ends of the earth."
"Heh...no thanks."
"And I'll treat you to an all-you-can-handle buffet." Akio
smiled...seductively. "And I ask such a small price...let me drive you
there."
"Um...no."
"It's free..."
"This is...food...right?"
"The best kind."
"....well...."
------------
"AKIO!!!" Lina stormed away and threw a fireball back at him. "HELL
IF
_THAT'S_ FOOD!!!"
"I thought it was," came the reply from the bedroom.
"I'm never going to get in the same car as a pure Mazoku again,"
vowed
Lina. "Never."
-----------
"..."
"..this isn't funny anymore..." Zelgadis dropped the stone and
stepped
back from Lina a bit. The Forever Stone was one hell of a screwed up
piece
of-
/You requested the power of the Forever Stone, but it comes with a
price. Either way around it I don't lose...but you do.\
"You couldn't have survived that," Lina turned and saw a little
piece of
lint with a tiny set of angel wings and a crooked halo hanging over its
non-existent head. "...dammit, I hate you."
/Hate is such a *strong* word to say to the Great Billy Bob
Angel-sama...\
"How could you be an angel?" Zelgadis flicked the piece of dirt and
sent
it spinning across the far wall.
/I-whoaaaaaa*smack* have connections. Ow.\
"Connections my-"
/Your visions are starting again. Heh, this should be good. This is
so
entertaining.\
"Tanoshii desu wa," agreed a high-pitched voice from the shadows,
lenscap shimmering in the darkness.
-------
"I swear..if I ever find that-" Lina winced and sat back.
"Dammit..when I find him, he's going to die...slowly, painfully, and with
that *&%^$#* car of his."
"Ka-san...are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep, Zel-chan." Lina patted her son
on the head and fell asleep.
"Oyasumi, Ka-san." Chibi-Zel smiled and closed his eyes.
------
Zelgadis is the kind of guy who can handle just about
anything...except that.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?!" he dropped the stone and
practically jumped out of his stone skin.
"...." Lina just stared at the stone, the magical aura growing around
her. "I DIDN'T do that..."
"And to hell if you're my mother," Zelgadis was slowly moving farther
and farther away from her.
"It explains a lot though, doesn't it?"
"Who-?"
"Don't worry, it's just me, Xellos-oniisama. Glad you finally
figured it out, Lina-imoto-chan," Xellos the Trickster Priest stepped out
of the shadows and was immediately met with five fireballs and one Gaav
Flare. "Urk...Guess you're not glad to see me..."
------
heh heh heh. Insanity is so much fun. *VERY evil niko*
As always C&C to <muteki@juno.com> and <KSaintTail@aol.com> We'd love to
hear from you!
MurasakiKaze
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