Subject: [FFML] [FFML][Slayers][X-over] Slayers: WHAT THE-?!
From: Murasaki Kaze
Date: 10/10/1999, 1:58 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

      "Come on, Zel!" the sorceress extraordinaire and moderately
proportioned girl, Lina Inverse whined; drawing to a halt at the end of
the 
tunnel.
Gourry Gabriev, carrier of the legendary Sword of Light, stood behind her

peering off into the darkness.
     "Oi, Lina, what are we here after again?" he asked, trying to jog
his 
memory.
     Lina sighed, and replied with a hint of aggravation in her voice,
"The 
Forever Stone. I've explained it to you five times on the way here."
     "The Forever Stone?" D'oh. "You want to be immortal or something?"
     "Gourry, the Forever Stone is supposed to be as old as the Claire
Bible 
and just as powerful.  Look at it as a second Philosopher's Stone,"
Zelgadis 
Graywords supplied, walking up.
     "Philosopher's Stone?" Again, Gourry looked stumped.
     "The thing Rezo tried to kill us over, REMEMBER?!" Lina knocked him
over 
the head and continued down the corridor.  "Come on, we better hurry..."
     "Oh, yeah." Gourry smacked his fist down in his palm in a sign of 
understanding and followed Lina.  "That Rezo guy wasn't that nice, was
he?"
     Zelgadis followed them silently.  He had other things on his mind.
The 
Forever Stone...even the ledgends about it were vague and undetailed as
to 
what its power was. Exactly what it did was completely a mystery; the
basic 
information was that it was very old, very mysterious, and the number of 
people who knew anything more was zilch. Still...it could be the one key
to 
his cure... 
     Before he knew it, they were in the middle chambers and he watched
with 
mixed emotions as the moonlight casts its rays down into the room and
opened 
a door in the craggy rock face.
     "WAAAAAAI!" Lina rushed forward and entered the new opening.
     The other two weren't far behind and they emerged onto a slightly 
smaller room.  In the middle stood a pedestal.
     And on that pedestal rested a silk pillow. 
     And on that silk pillow was the most beautiful piece of lint anyone
had 
ever seen.
     And there was definitely no Forever Stone in sight.
     Lina took a deep breath.
      "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!"
     "_WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY HONORABLE SLUMBER?!_" the stony voice
echoed throughout the room.  "_IDENTIFY YOURSELF, DEFILER!!!_"
     "Lina Inverse!" She paused. 
     "...sorcery genius, and if you don't hand over the Forever Stone,
I'd 
advise you to wonder what this place looks like as ashes," she added on
for 
good measure. Always nice to make a good impression. "Who are you?!" As
Lina 
spoke, the piece of lint
lifted up off the pillow and began to grow.  
     "_I AM THE GREAT BILLY BOB OF TENSEE AND PROTECTOR OF THE FOREVER 
STONE!__THOSE WHO SEEK THE FOREVER STONE MUST FIGHT ME TO THE DEATH!__I
HAVE 
NEVER LOST!_" The piece of lint had a very big voice for such a little
piece 
of dirt.
     "Well, if you're still here, we could have guessed that.  How many 
people have tried?" Zelgadis stepped forward and drew his sword.
     Pause.
      "_I DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER YOU PUNY MORTALS!__I AM THE  __GREAT__
BILLY 
BOB!!_"
     "I knew it.  You've never fought anyone before, have you?" Zel
smiled at 
the thought of how close the Forever Stone was now.  Defeat this talking 
piece of street gum and move on, easy.
     "_DO NOT MOCK THE GREAT BILLY BOB!!__I HAVE___TOO___FOUGHT SOMEONE 
BEFORE!!__" the lint protested audibly.
     "...__ONLY WE CALLED A DRAW AND HE LEFT...SO...TECHNICALLY I DIDN'T
LOSE!!_" The Great Billy Bob was squirming as well as a piece of lint
could.
    "Screw this," Lina said politely.
    "..darkness beyond twilight,  Crimson beyond blood that flows. 
Buried in 
the flow of time. In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness.  Let
the 
fools who stand before us be destroyed  By the power you and I possess!"
     Everyone but the Great Billy Bob had gone for cover.  If anyone had
a 
microscope, you could have seen the little sweatdrop forming on his
little 
head.  
     "DRAGU SLAVE!!!!"  
     After the dust had settled and everyone had sifted through the
rubble, 
Lina triumphantly held up a small piece of black obsidion.  
     "I found it!" 
     "That's the Forever Stone?" Gourry flicked the piece of rock with
little 
interest and sighed.  "Not what I was expecting..."
     "What WERE you expecting?" Lina demanded. "Something flashing neon
pink, 
with fireworks and confetti spouting out?"
     "Now what?" Zelgadis noticed that it was getting light and yawned 
despite himself.  
     "Try it, of course!" Lina closed her eyes and concentrated.  "Let
thy 
great power become mine, Let us walk together on this fragile path..."
     She trailed off when a flash of light startled and blinded everyone.
     Gourry was the first to look up and half expected a huge puff of
black 
smoke to be rising up from the ground with a charred Lina in the middle. 

Instead, there was the puff of black smoke, but no Lina.
     "Lina?  LINA?!" he ran over to the spot where she had been at and
looked around. No, she didn't *seem* to have been reduced to dust... 
"Zelgadis, help me find Lina!  Zelgadis?"
     He looked up and discovered that he was all alone in the demolished 
cave, without even a piece of lint for company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     "I can't believe it.  She's so beautiful."
     "That's my little sister?"
     "Yes, and go get your brother."
     "But I don't WAN-"
     "No buts, Luna-chan."
     "Hai, Daddy."  Luna Inverse ran off after her brother and left her 
father and mother alone.  Rezo let his hand rest lightly on the baby
girl's 
face.
     "Rezo, what do you think we should call her?" 
     "I think we should call her Lina, Ranko...it just fits our family,"
he 
smiled as he always did and kissed his wife on the cheek.
      "Let me see her!" Xellos came bounding into the room.  "Uh...that's

her?"
      "Don't be rude, Xel-chan," Rezo whacked him over the head with his 
staff and laughed when Xellos gave him a raspberry back.  "Her name is
Lina."
      "Hi, Lina-imouto.  Welcome to the world."

-----------------------------

      Somewhere...somehow...
      There was a sound.
      Might be a memory, might be my...nevermind. It sounded like this:
      "AUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
      And it's hell of hard to get Zeldagis to laugh, but even he was 
managing a snicker.
      Lina stared, bug-eyed, at the scene before her. "What the HELL is 
this?!"
      Snort.
      "Don't laugh, dammit. I don't know WHAT kind of sick joke this is,
but 
it's NOT funny..." Lina wailed, gaze dropping to the stone. "What IS this

thing?! It's a tool of SATAN!! It's coming up with dillusions that even a

pure Mazoku couldn't come up with!! This is BEYOND EVIL!"
     Giggle, and that was just scary. "Xellos-oniisama~!"
     "SHUT __UP__!!" Lina ground out. "What's your explanation?!"
     Zelgadis blinked. "Is this absolutely, totally, a definite illusion
and 
nothing more?"
     "Of COURSE! What are the chances this could be reality?"
     "...so there's no chance?"
     "..........well......I don't really remember Mom...or Dad...Sis
raised 
me and was really quiet about the whole deal...but anyway!" Lina pikued.
     "...can I see that?"
     Lina handed over the Forever Stone.
     Zelgadis flipped it over.
     "Forever Stone. Made in Sailoon. A non-refundable product which
shows 
the user the whole truth about their life before it grants access to its
true 
power to insure the wisdom of the wielder. The maker is not responsible
for 
any crappy experiences you didn't want to know about. Thank you."
     "..."
    "..."
    "......there's no way this can be real. None. Zip. I refuse to
believe 
this. Xellos? My BROTHER?!"
    Zelgadis pointed. "Look! It's showing another scene."
    "OhgodNO..."

--------

    "XELLOS!!!"
    The boy's eyes widened in an attempt to look pitiful and innocent. 
Unfortunately, it made him look scary. Really scary.
    "WHAT did I tell you about that chest-reduction spell?!!" demanded
Luna, 
tapping her foot and looking just a tad upset.
    "...never use it in the house?" The sweet and innocent affect was
failing 
miserably.
    "Fireball," Luna sighed, blowing another hole through the roof,
making it 
the seventh one that day. "Mom's gonna KILL me when she finds out what
you 
did to Lina..."
     "Glurk," complained the charred mass of Xellos that was fifty feet
above 
ground.

--------

     "Daddy! I wanna have a ruby-tipped staff just like yours!"

--------

     "Now, kids...naturally, as you enter school...you're going to be
facing 
a lot of peer pressure. There are kids out there who want you to do bad 
things. Drugs. Smoking. Being a Mazoku. You're going to have to make a
lot of 
choices."

--------

    The door slammed open. "Daddy, Daddy!! The kids voted me scariest
eyes in 
the whole school!"

------

     The door slammed open. "Mommy! Mommy! I got voted 'Most Likely to
Become 
a Knight of Ceipheed' in our yearbook!"

--------

     The door slammed open. "Mommy...I'm sorry, they still haven't found
a 
way to get around the seal Xellos put on that chest-reduction spell."

--------


Heh, couldn't resist this one.  After Kagami-sama's fic, this one was
buzzing around my mind and my friend, KSaintTail, and I have decided to
cowrite this.  Thanks to Kagami-sama for letting us use Ranma/Ranko as
Lina's mom.  ^_^ *evil niko*  And what's in store?  Just have to keep
watching, won't you?  

C&C is appreciated and please send them to  <muteki@juno.com> and
<KSaintTail@aol.com>  We're both writing this and would love to hear from
you.

MurasakiKaze

Oh, and you'll see about the  x-over thing later.  heh heh heh.
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