This shows potential.  Technically, your writing is
okay (spelling, grammar, etc).  Your plot lags at
times, but kept me reading.  My biggest problem was
with your characterizations.

This works takes place in the OVA series.  Kiyone has joined 
the group and some time has passed since the OVA episodes.
Kiyone and Mihoshi have moved out and have rented an
apartment.  It could have happened.

Your characterizations are much closer to the TV series'
than the OVAs'.  OVA plus Kiyone is fine, but you don't need
to move MihoKiyo out to an apartment, and you don't use the
separate residence for anything other than one or two cheap
laughs.  Why not follow "Daughter of Darkness", and just
add Kiyone to the list of girls living at the Misaki's?

Chapter 1
A Call to a Beginning

and why use titles mimicing the TV series?

The sun rose in Tenchi's room.  The fresh air flowed in from 
his window as he slept on.  

A very standard opening for Tenchi fics.

He began to notice the birds singing from a nearby tree.
He could hear the lake next to his home rustling in the
wind.  For a moment, he resisted opening his eyes.

This bit is nice; it deviates from standard Tenchi openings,
and is nice imagery.

Tenchi leaned against the balcony and 
admired the sunrise.  Everything was quiet and peaceful.

A loud crash echoed through the entire house.  Suddenly he 
could hear Ayeka and Ryoko screaming.  Tenchi lowered his head.

Back to standard.  Copying such cliche scenes doesn't help
keep your readers interested in what you have to say; this
leads them to believe that they know what you have to say.

"It still looks like trash," replied Ryoko.  Sensing Ayeka's 
power increase, Ryoko began charging up her energy powers.

While this behavior is not unknown in the OVAs, reading this
puts one in mind of the TV series, where it is normal.  Keep
in mind that, in the OVAs, it is a known fact that Aeka is not
even close to an even match for Ryoko (known to everyone,
including Aeka).  Unlike the TV series, combat between the two
cannot be serious to be plausible. 

He felt like he was in the grips of a giant predator with
nowhere to run.

This just doesn't ring true to me for OVA continuity, after
about episode four.

 "Uh, sure, Sasami," said Ryoko.  She always wanted to appear
helpful around Tenchi.

You could have fooled me; try the Mihoshi special, where Ryoko
plays with her Gameboy while Aeka works on laundry, or Daughter
of Darkness, which has a similar scene.

The statue's crystal base began to glow.  
Tenchi looked at the light, it was the Light Hawk wings.

I'm a little confused here.  The _statue_ is creating the
Light Hawk Wings?

"Ayeka had it made," said Sasami.  Ayeka gave a slight blush 
and gave Ryoko a quick smirk of victory.  "It's a beautiful
statue because it's Tenchi's image on it," said Ryoko while
giving a cold stare at Ayeka.

This reaction of Ryoko's is, IMO, justifiable for TV continuity
but not for the OVAs.  OVA Ryoko should be leaning her elbow
on Aeka's shoulder and suggestively commenting, "Oh, nice gift,
_Princess_; and did you inspect it for anatomical accuracy?"
in a way calculated to make Aeka blush furiously.

Ryoko and Sasami put the plates on the table and soon everybody began 
<clip> He was 
usually in a rush in the mornings.  Washu looked over the 
<clip> 
if she ever got one.

Your narrative is slowed here, apparently unnecessarily.  Since
you don't use Noboyuki, why include him at all?

 "The crystal base is very interesting, it is an extract from 
a royal Jurian tree sap, extra rare materials, princess.  I 
see you went the extra mile," said Washu.

"It was nothing, Washu," said Ayeka.  She glared at her 
motioning her to shut up.  Washu smirked, "You know, I heard
about these statues.  They are reserved for..."

"Special friends of the Jurian family," interrupted Ayeka.  
Sasami giggled at Ayeka's response.

Good foreshadowing.  The reader knows there's something significant
about the statue, and will keep reading to find out what.

He remembered what fun that day 
was when they all had a picnic.  "Remember these days, 
Tenchi," said his grandfather at the picnic.  "You will see
many things, feel many more things, but these moments never
return.  Treasure them," he said.

More foreshadowing.  The reader believes that the story will
significantly change a few things.  Possibly kill some
characters off, or Tenchi will go into space permanently.

He may have to leave the planet someday and never come back.
The thought depressed him a little, but felt a small 
comfort knowing he would never be bored.

More foreshadowing.

There was another college nearby he was thinking of 
attending.  But even 
then, he did not know what degree to pursue.  Everybody 
seemed to be so 
ahead of him in planning.  He gave up a long time trying to 
be a normal 
kid.  Having two beautiful alien women fighting over him day 
and night, 
dealing with the world's greatest mad scientist, and being 
friends with two 
Galaxy Police officers have kept him on his toes.  Not to mention the 
occasional space warlord or demon trying to destroy or 
conquer the universe 
he somehow ended up dealing with.  He realized he had to 
accept his chaotic 
life.  He wished he had a little more control.  "Life is a 
series of events 
we are faced with," Tenchi remembered what his grandfather 
said one time. 
 "We don't control the events, we can only try to handle them 
the best we 
can," said his grandfather.  "If only it was so simple," 
thought Tenchi.

This is a very long paragraph which doesn't seem to add anything
to what you said above.  So why write it?  I'm also confused
by Tenchi's thought; what is so simple about his grandfather's
thought?

"Say the secret word," said Washu.
<clip>
"Please, mom," said Ryoko, almost spitting the words out, 

I liked this bit a lot.  Very IC, and very funny.

...a holographic projection of the statue appeared.  "Tenchi
is wearing a traditional Jurian 'wedding' ceremonial outfit,"
said Washu.  Ryoko almost fainted.... Ryoko was white as a ghost.

Again, this characterization of Ryoko seems TV, not OVA, who
would be mildly aggravated:  "That Aeka!  Trying to pull
something like this behind my back!"

Ryoko's anger was turning into sadness. 
 "Could I have lost Tenchi so easily?" she asked herself.  

This doesn't even seem like TV Ryoko, who would simply be
furious at Aeka at this point. 

"Ryoko," ....You have to admit that she's just as 
dedicated to him as you are."  Ryoko was 
holding back her tears.

TV Ryoko doesn't have to admit this.  OVA does, but would hardly
be shaken or surprised by it.  And I still don't get
it; does Ryoko think Tenchi is aware of the statue's meaning?
What's with the tears?

...after meeting Tenchi, she dreaded the thought of ever being
without him.  She would no longer be able to stay.
It would be too painful seeing Tenchi embrace Ayeka with the 
loving eyes that Ryoko dreamt he would have for her.

For TV continuity, this works well.  For OVA, however, it is
very problematic.  Ryoko has known for some time that Tenchi
will likely be _required_ to have (at least) two wives.  If you
follow the "max of two" school, Ryoko should have spent the time
since OVA episode 13 angling to make it her and Aeka.  If you
follow the "no max" school, she should have been resigned to
"seeing Tenchi embrace Ayeka" on occasion.

It has been so long since she [Washu] ever had any feelings for
anybody.

???  Washu was acting in the "Baby Taro" episode?  Washu's
chasing of Tenchi in ep 7 was all counterfeit?  And what
about Washu's comment in ep 13 that she wouldn't want Tenchi
to be upset at her?

"Tenchi is young," thought Washu as she pulled up a 
giant mirror and looked at herself.  "He might come around."

That's a bit more like it, feeling that a more mature Tenchi
will inevitably pick Washu and Tsunami over Aeka and Ryoko
(though Washu isn't very shy about chasing Tenchi in the OVAs).
 

"Lets just say that his future bride-to-be has a wealthy 
father," said Tokuda, "He made himself a nice deal."  Marriage
into wealth he thought.  That prospect didn't seem to far
from him.  "I don't think that's a right way to go," said Tenchi.

Typos:  "into wealth, he thought."    "seem too far"

And I'm confused a bit about Tenchi's reaction.  Does he think
this classmate is marrying into wealth without love, or with
it?  You don't say.  Tenchi's reaction suggests one, but not
the other.

"Who wants a wife that's richer than you.  She might even
go around and order you around."

Why does Tenchi (if he does; you're not clear) think of Aeka
as richer than he?  Both are members of the Jurai royal
family.  Typo:  "richer than you?"

Tenchi thoughts then wandered to Ryoko.

"Then you would have to worry about whether or not she would 
tear your throat out," said Tenchi openly.

Typo:  "Tenchi's thoughts"

So your version of Tenchi is still afraid of Ryoko?

the "family."  She still couldn't believe Tenchi called it a
family portrait.  She had a hard time accepting Washu as her
mother, but having Ayeka in the "family" made her sick.

She needed to do something, but what could she offer Tenchi.

Typo:  question mark missing on end

Ayeka was always worried about the Jurian Royal family not
accepting Tenchi.  Azusa, for some reason, hated Tenchi,
but his two wives adored him.  Ayeka avoided talking about 
her father and Tenchi.  Obviously, the Jurian royalty has 
recognized Tenchi as a possible groom for Ayeka.  Lord knows
they were probably suspicious of Ayeka and Sasami choosing
to stay in an underdeveloped planet in the middle of nowhere.

This is also a bit confusing.  I think you need to use the
word "nobility".  Azusa, Misaki, and Funaho _are_ the Jurai
Royal family, and Aeka knows perfectly well what they think
about Tenchi.  My reading of the end of ep 13 is that Azusa
doesn't hate Tenchi, he has plans for Tenchi, which he looks
eager to see implemented.  If Aeka and Ryoko still think, some
number of months later, that Azusa hates Tenchi, then nothing
much must have come from those plans.

"C'mon, we have 
to go," she told the barely awake cabbit.  She just had enough time.
<clip>
Ryoko suddenly appeared in front of everybody.  "Hello 
ladies," Ryoko said. 
 She was hovering over them.
<clip>
"I'm going to be stepping out for a few hours," said Ryoko,
<clip> 
and saw Ryo-ohki in ship form.  The ship was speeding up toward space.

Ryoko has just enough time, but she stops to chat on her way
out...

Washu was in the living room watching her favorite soap.
<clip>
Washu walked into her lab.  She was holding back her tears.
"How could Vernedad leave Mishu for a wretched witch?" she said.

Well, this is unexpected:  a Washu who reacts like that to
soaps rather than laughing at them.

Ryoko traveled to the asteroid belt.  "Let's see, I know I 
left it around here somewhere," she said.
A small metal container was welded to the asteroid.  

This is the Solar System's asteroid belt?  When did Ryoko leave
something here?  Seven hundred years ago?  Two thousand?

pieces.  Tenchi closed his eyes and lost consciousness.

Suddenly a 
figure dressed in black appeared in the kitchen.  A hood 
covered his head. 

So all the girls disappeared but Tenchi was left behind?
Or he was taken to, and you just didn't tell us?

Nice of the figure in black to turn off the lights.


Summary:
  At the end of this part, all of it appears to have been
a prelude to another story, just recapping characterizations.
You could have opened with the disappearances and cut to the
real story.  The only good reason not to have done so is that
the statue has some connection with the disappearances.

There are a few points at which your narrative lags, during
which nothing happens but a bit of (possibly intended)
character development.  Usually, however, these sections add
nothing significant to the stereotype TV characterizations
you're mostly using.

Your technical writing skills are good (a few typos here and
there, nothing serious).  Your story-telling did keep me
reading rather than deleting, and I am curious what happens
next.

I really liked that one bit of Washu-Ryoko interaction.  Other
than that, though, your characterization was nothing special.
It seems mostly derived from the TV series rather than the OVAs,
and you don't succeed in making most of the characters interesting.
Try get every other pair of interactions up to the level of your
Washu-Ryoko, and you'll really have something.  And do something
about Tenchi:  you can either have a non-introspective nonentity
Tenchi, as in the anime, or you can make Tenchi a doer and leader.
You've given us an introspective, do-nothing Tenchi, who seems
to actually dislike Aeka and Ryoko but does nothing about it.
Why should we care about, or sympathize with, your Tenchi?


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