Subject: Re: [FFML] [C&C]Vacation Days Chapter 3
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 10/8/1999, 1:42 AM
To: "Phil" <kagami@jeack.com.au>
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>

You wrote:

Yawn, not enough sleep...

I'm going to be saying that myself tomorrow morning.

I'll snip most of the grammar stuff since I'll pretty much be using all of
it.


well known, like YuriKei 4,

Gee, with such a bad-omened name, I wouldn't have thought it would
have become a really popular resort. :)

Well, when one ignors the unusually high fatality rate among the tourists,
it is a poplular spot.


A well thrown metal skillet connected with the back of Aeka's head.

Metal skillets are really, really, very heavy. I'd expect Ryoko to
stay conscious after being hit by one of these things but not Ayeka.
Speaking of which, why does Ryoko have one of these on the bridge of
Ryo-Ohki? Has she taken up cooking lessons from Sasami? :)

Heh. It was simply the heaviest thing she had on hand. If she had tried to
use a carrot, Ryo-Ohki would have gone nuts.


I am aiding you in our mutual quest for Tenchi! If Ry-oh was still

Ryu-oh? I'm not sure about this.

you're right.



He was either becoming more courageous or
more stupid.

or both...

Probably.


Mihoshi looked over her shoulder to stare at Tenchi in confusion. "Ah,
Tenchi. They're Kallista Flockhartens.

Bwahahahaha, now that's just plain mean. :)

And here I was afraid it was too contemporary for most people to pick up on
it. Looks like I was wrong.


They all look like skeletons. Their
skin and internal organs are transparent. Although if you look real
close
under the light, you can just make out a blue outline that surrounds
their
bodies. That's all you can see of their skin. Also, there is just the
faintest red glow in front of their eyes. That's their optical nerves.
So
you see, these two are perfectly normal."

not to be overly realistic or anything,

No. That's not a real healthy attitude to have around here. ^_^

but wouldn't Tenchi notice
that they weren't quite resting on the beds? Then again, this is Tenchi
- not the world's most observant person.

Too true. He was so in shock he didn't look real closely at them. The fact
that they were skeletons was enough to throw him off from a close logical
observation


"I'm sorry, Mihoshi. Our record of arrests is outstanding, we've
single-handedly brought down entire criminal organizations -like Keyser
Soze's outfit- ,

But he doesn't really exist... :)

MIhoshi is so good, she could even arrest a criminal who didn't exist. ^_^

And you got two so far.


"You'd be able to head towards Trakton-Gallows right away," Mihoshi said

brightly. "Sure, I'd be happy to loan you my back up."

Heh, you're really peppering in those obscure references. :)
I'm sure I've missed some along the way.

Nah. You've gotten all of them but the Vance Dreadlok one. Someone else got
it, though. I guess they weren't quite as obscure as I thought. Which is a
good thing, since I want people to get them.


"Let me see. I have the carbon copies of the inventory lists somewhere
around here." Even in that day and age, they still forced people to fill

out handwritten forms in triplicate, even for the requisition of a paper

clip.

Ouch, no wonder the GP need people like Mihoshi - most of its
officers are buried beneath the reams of paperwork...

It is the nature of any bureacracy.

The two
seemed to share a private joke about the latter key, assuring Funuyaki
that
they were the only ones in the quadrant that could possibly open it.

Of course, they haven't met the person who can walk through all of
Washu's anti-intrusion devices and straight into her lab...

Yep. If even Washu cannot anticipate the actions of chaos personified, this
lot doesn't stand a chance.


The new spoors would then repeat the cycle until an entire
planet was drained of every living thing on it. And I mean everything.
Including plant life and microscopic creatures.

spores

Oops. Thought I got all of those typos.

suggest also: every living thing on it; and I mean everything -
including plant life...

"It really is a fascinating method of control. Given this almost
self-destructive capability, it would make it almost impossible for
Shihana
to be used against the Whiprack, just as the plant's designers had
planned.

How so? This lost me completely.

Once it blooms, the only part of the plant that can possibly be used again
is the flower itself, and it dies shortly after the last of the spores it
creates has destroyed the last lifeform it came into contact with. The only
way one could reuse Shihana would be to find the mother plant intact within
2 hours of the last spore that dies, otherwise the main plant dies too. And
even if you get the bloom, if you don't feed it continuously with other
lifeforms, it dies too.


"Once the Whipreck were confident Shihana was effective, and that it
couldn't be used against them, they unleashed it upon their enemies.
Upon
completion of the original batch of plants, the Whipreck went to work.

Whiprack?
Actually, I noticed that it becomes Whipreck uniformly later on: in
which case, the first two instances of the word need to be changed.

Got it.



somehow matched Stargrave's emotional outburst. "Nothing can stop us
now.
Nothing."

Heh. You'd think that as a vaunted GP Officer, he'd know better. :)

Nope. He's a scheming bad guy. They never believe the hero can stop them.


Closing Comments:

Fun read. Nice setup for the closing. I'd like to see how it all pans
out. Hope this helps.

Yes it does. Thanks for the C+C

D.B. Sommer




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