Thanks to Ammadeau, Donny Cheng, Alan Harnum, Richard Lawson,
and the C*B*L for pre-reading duties.
Characters belong to Gainax, and they need the money more than I
do probably - unless they get audited for fun.
P A G E S
by Lara Bartram
---------------
Page 16
Gendo meandered down the street, hands stuffed in his
pockets. There was a reminder running through his head, telling
him that he couldn't stop at the bar or waste any more money
than he absolutely had to. He had a better use for it.
Not right away or anything, but he was fairly sure there'd
be something springing up in the future.
None of that changed the fact that he wasn't comfortable
with all the work Yui was doing with that Professor Fuyutsuki
though. She wouldn't like it if she knew, but he was definitely
going to have to show up in person to see who seemed like his
greatest rival.
"So, when will you be working again?" he asked as they sat
at the counter, eating lunch.
Yui looked at her watch. "Tonight, actually. In a few
hours."
"Working late again?" Gendo smiled, and it was one she
was definitely starting to recognize.
"Maybe. Any specific reason you ask?"
"To get you into bed again."
Yui stopped eating for a moment. "At least you're honest
about it. But I much prefer using the facilities I'm used to,
and a clean change of clothes."
"End of the semester that'll change, you know. Then you
have won't have anywhere to hide from me."
She smiled. "Professor Fuyutsuki's office. I imagine
you'd stay away from a research office like a vampire away from
sunlight."
Gendo, in response, did not smile. The only thing that
might have been a reaction was the tightening of his jaw.
This did not go unnoticed by Yui. She looked at him, then
leaned around to look right in his face. "What was that? I saw
you react. Why?"
"Nothing."
"This again? What is it? Something about Professor
Fuyutsuki?"
"No."
"So that's it. Jealousy." Yui sat back on her stool a
bit. "I don't know why. I'm just working with him, but I'm
eating lunch with you." She rubbed his hand across his back and
leaned over a bit. "I've been sleeping your bed, not his," she
whispered. "Besides, he's twenty years older than I am."
"That... doesn't make me feel any better. You do realize
there's a decade separating us, don't you?"
"Of course, but it's not two decades." She kissed Gendo
quickly on the cheek. "Relax. He's not my type."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said
tersely.
It was Yui's turn to get snappish. "We're going to or you
can forget the idea of us getting an apartment."
Looking at her from the corner of his eye, noting the
cross expression on her face, he said softly, "You don't hear
yourself. When you say his name... I can hear it in your
voice."
The answer was immediate. "Do you remember the other
night? And I know you do... Gen-chan. What does it sound like
when I say that?"
"The best thing I've ever heard."
Yui put her arms around him and rested her chin on his
shoulder, "Mm hmm. You don't sound so jealous now. I tell
you, there's _nothing_ for you to be worried about."
She stayed that way, just looking at him for a moment.
"What do you want to do until I have to work?"
"Don't be a tease, Yui. I'm not in a good mood right
now." Gendo frowned, creasing his brow. "If I knew you
wouldn't kill me, I would demand you stop going to these
'appointments' and find work as far away from this professor as
possible."
"Ah, but you know better. That means you're learning.
You might be worth the trouble after all."
---
Page 17
"I'll walk you there."
"You don't have to."
"I do."
Yui smiled and started walking at a leisurely pace. "He's
nothing at all like you think."
Gendo remained silent.
"He's not some old lech who just works with pretty girls.
He's intelligent and dedicated, and knows we don't have time to
play games like that."
"Why don't you have time? Graduation?"
Knowing she had made a mistake, Yui shook her head and
tried to shift the conversation. "Not graduation. Actually, I
was offered to continue on the research project after
graduation, getting paid and everything."
"With Fuyutsuki?"
"Yes. And some others. It's an excellent opportunity."
She paused, waiting for him to say something, but he remained
silent. "Aren't you going to say anything about that?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"Would it do any good?"
"None at all. But I never thought you'd be one to keep
quiet like this."
Gendo shrugged. "What am I supposed to say?"
In direct contrast to his dark mood, Yui smiled and hugged
his arm. "Nothing. Besides, I like walking quietly like this."
"Do you think you have me figured out?" he asked, curious.
"No," she responded, laughing lightly.
"Good, because I don't have you figured out at all."
"Here it is." Yui stopped in front of a door and faced
Gendo.
"Should I pick you up tonight?"
"If you'd like. I wouldn't mind." She looked at her
watch. "Six hours. I'm not going to work myself into the
ground today."
"I'll be here." He stepped forward, not letting Yui
escape his show of affection.
She tried to avoid it at first, not wanting to be doing
such a thing right in front of where she worked, but Gendo
grabbed her arm gently and pulled her forward.
Before she could turn her head and take the kiss on the
cheek, he darted his head forward and proceeded to kiss her with
everything he could muster.
"I hope I'm not... interrupting anything."
Yui pushed Gendo away. "Professor! I was just..."
"Celebrating," Gendo said emotionlessly.
Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" His level gaze met
Gendo's practiced disinterested one. There was immediate
disliking between the two of them.
"Professor, this is Gendo Rokubungi, who I told you
about," Yui said nervously, expecting to get a reprimand later
for such behavior. She gestured to the older man. "This is
Professor Fuyutsuki."
"So I gathered."
Looking between the two men and hearing the tone in
Gendo's voice, Yui decided to be merciful and put an end to the
meeting. She took Gendo's hand, turning his attention to her.
"Six hours. I'll be waiting for you."
"I'll be here," he answered, but there was still that
cold, emotionless quality to his voice.
"I'm looking forward to it." She leaned up and gave him a
quick kiss. "Bye." His hands slowly slid out of his as she
retreated into the lab.
Fuyutsuki remained though, looking at Gendo critically.
"She's quite lovely," he stated.
"She is. And she's mine."
"That was quite a demonstration." His voice was flat,
unimpressed. Looking at Gendo for another moment first,
Fuyutsuki returned to the lab as well.
---
Page 18
"He treats you like an object, Yui. Something to be
possessed and controlled."
Yui looked blankly at the papers in front of her. "I...
don't agree with that, Professor. I know he's said things that
sound old-fashioned..."
"Old fashioned? He sounded like a caveman." Fuyutsuki
sighed. "I wish you'd rethink this relationship."
"No! He just says things like that because... he loves
me. Until you get to know him, he might seem... rough, but he's
really sweet."
"Someone his age knows how to be sweet to a young lady to
get what he wants," warned the professor. "How much older is he
than you?"
Yui's cheeks flushed. "That doesn't matter."
"I would seriously think about how this is going to affect
your work. How distracted..."
"I'm sorry, Professor, but this is something I'm
definitely not changing my mind about." Yui gathered her
things, suddenly feeling like she was caught between two
completely opposite poles. "Good night. I'm leaving."
When Yui left the lab, Fuyutsuki could see Rokubungi
waiting outside for her. As the door closed, the last thing he
saw was the two of them sharing a kiss.
With a trace of a frown on his face, Fuyutsuki turned away
from the door.
"Your turn."
"For what?"
"Telling me what's wrong."
"Nothing."
"I thought that was my line. And I know you don't want to
be like me. I would be awfully disappointed."
Yui flashed Gendo a weak smile, more for his benefit than
anything she felt. "It was just... something Professor
Fuyutsuki said. I would really prefer not to talk about it
tonight."
With a frustrated sigh, Gendo nodded. She would get her
space unless it seemed to be worse than... A sniffle. It was
worse.
Stopping their walk, he turned Yui to face him and put his
finger on her chin. "Don't be that guy."
She stared at him, boggle-eyed for a moment, then the
absurdity of the words coming out of Gendo's mouth struck her.
She suddenly began giggling. "That's what it is. You know how
to make me feel better, no matter what the problem is," she said
quietly.
She stroked his cheek and added, "Even if you think I'm a
prize, I don't..."
"Damn it, what did he say to you? Whatever it was,
I'll..."
"You'll do no such thing. He was just trying to look out
for me..." Yui shook her head. "I see that look in your eyes,
but there will be no more fighting."
Gendo raised an eyebrow.
"Unless they start it first."
"Only because you say so. You're sure he didn't..."
"No, he didn't. Let's just go; I'm tired after this
evening." She linked her arm with his, still thinking about the
fiery look in his eyes when he had thought she had been hurt.
"I don't trust him; I don't like him. He upset you,"
Gendo said in a frighteningly detached voice.
"Then let's get your mind off of it," Yui suggested. "A
movie?"
"Yui..." His mood was as far from being "in the mood" as
possible, and here Yui was trying to...
She whispered in his ear, "Gen-chan..."
"I'd really prefer that you found some other place to
work," he said, trying very hard not to let the anger he felt
toward Fuyutsuki show.
---
Page 19
"I won't do it, Gendo. I didn't like what the professor
said to me, but that was personal. I'm interested in my work,
and if I run away, I won't be able to accomplish anything." Her
fingers interlocked with his and she was pleased to feel him
squeeze her hand.
A deep scowl settled on his features. "He has no right to
make you feel like that. No one does."
"Stop. Just stop worrying about it."
"But Yui..."
"But nothing." As long as she was in control of the
situation, she would have no trouble handling Gendo. It was
amazing the way he could be so rude and crass to others, but
when she said something, all his attention was hers. "The
matter is over. As far as I'm concerned, the situation never
happened."
"I'll try. But I still don't like it."
"I didn't expect you to, but at least try. It would make
me feel better about the whole thing."
Again, his hand squeezed her own, and she smiled.
"Finals coming up. Will you be my study date?"
With the incident with Fuyutsuki pushed to the back of his
mind, Gendo was able to smile. "If you think I'm worthy of such
a task."
She hugged him, making sounds of contentment. "Worthy
enough for me." A study date. Yui wasn't sure she could get
any more boring than that; she didn't really want a study date.
She wanted... she wanted a man.
'Never be satisfied with the inferior,' her mother had
told her. 'You can always do better if you really try.'
'It doesn't matter if you manipulate the results, they
won't be an accurate gauge of your sample.' An early lab with
Fuyutsuki in which she had tried to explain the results of one
experiment.
"So don't settle for the inferior and don't manipulate the
results," she whispered to herself.
"What was that?"
"Just thinking about something I was told..."
"By your mother?"
Yui pushed him away abruptly. "Don't use that tone when
you're talking about my mother!" she warned indignantly. "And
don't make jokes either!"
"Truce, truce. I didn't mean anything by it." Girls...
women were a lot more... touchy now than when he had been a
freshman back in the 80's. "It was just a... joke?"
"Not a very funny one. You know my mother i..."
"I feel like I do."
"I'm being serious here!"
Gendo flinched at the volume of her voice. "Sorry," he
mumbled.
"Damn right you should be. Are you going to be serious
here or not? You always do this. Last time I had something to
say, you had your little tantrum. Can I say this without your
input for once?"
He swallowed and took a step back. "I told you why..."
"I didn't ask for an explanation! I just want to know if
you'll let me say one sentence without interrupting." She
glared intently at him.
"I didn't..."
"This is a yes or no question." Yui watched him take
another step back.
Gendo opened his mouth, ready to defend himself again, but
the look in Yui's eyes was unforgiving. Answering with anything
other than yes or no, and probably a no as well, would be
hazardous to his health. "Yes."
"Good, because if you interrupt me in the middle of 'I
love you'..."
---
Page 20
What would his mother say? Her "shiftless" son finally
settling down, being settled down by a beautiful, intelligent,
young...
'Just like your father, chasing all those younger
women...'
That was what his mother would say.
"Well?"
Gendo blinked. "Well what?"
"A... aren't you going to say anything?"
'Just like your father...'
"I... I'm glad." Or had his worst nightmares finally come
to pass? He was getting what he wanted, but was it really what
he wanted now that he had it?
"You're glad? You should be glad you didn't miss the bus.
You should be glad you had change for the vending machine. I
tell you that you're the only man who makes me happy, that I
love with everything I am, and that makes you glad?" she
seethed, on the verge of choking him.
"You said all that?"
"Not in so many words."
But that was what she had meant. Really? That professor
really wasn't anything to her other than a mentor? But she was
so temperamental all the time...
And he loved her for it, being able to give back ten-fold
all his jibes and teasing. "I..." Gendo's voice faltered.
Love between two people wasn't always a good thing, wasn't
always happy.
What would he do if she ever left him for someone else?
It was almost a given that he would go insane with rage and
jealousy... The horrifying, yet simultaneously joyous thought
crossed his mind: the apartment would leave them in such close
quarters to each other at all times.
"Yui..."
Looking into his eyes, she saw something there that
frightened her. Was he drawing away? "What? I thought you
loved me. You said so."
"I do, but..."
"But now there's something wrong, and I've made a complete
fool of myself." Tears trickled down her cheeks as her eyes
looked unflinchingly into his.
The openness he saw in them almost caused him physical
pain.
"Stupid, stupid Yui. Getting swept up into this, involved
with an older man... Just like Professor Fuyutsuki warned me."
"No! He doesn't know anything about me! He never will!
He just wants you for himself!" Gendo raged, his love turning to
bitter jealousy in an instant.
"Like you do. Yui the doll, something for the men to
fight over. And I just smile and pretend it doesn't happen."
Her mouth wanted to curl up into a self-pitying smile, but she
would not allow it to.
"You're not a doll to me. You're... the most important
thing in the world to me. How can I _not_ be jealous?" She was
pulling away and he couldn't stop her.
"Because you don't need to be. If you loved me and
trusted me the way I do you, you wouldn't need to be jealous.
But," she said, eyes turning to the floor, "I guess you don't
really feel that way, do you?"
"Don't... don't say that. Don't talk like that," Gendo
pleaded with her. "What do you want me to say? That I love you
again? I'll say it a hundred times! Just don't..."
"All I want is for you to be honest with me. Tell me how
you feel. Everything, because I still don't understand you a
lot of the time, and I want to be able to. I want to know all
the things you would never tell anyone else, but only because
you trust me." His face, his cheek felt so rough against her
hand, and when she turned her gaze back to him, he had his eyes
closed.
"I'm... afraid."
---
lara@emunix.emich.edu
http://www.thekeep.org/~lara/index.html
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