I'm sending this to the list for a friend of mine.
Tonbo

-- 

Utena conspiracy theory #544:

Anthy was a bright, happy little girl, who was always smiling, laughing, and 
skipping along the streets of her neighborhood.

One day, just after one Christmas, she was particularry happy.  She had 
gotten a new toy train.  She didn't have any tracks to run it on, but she 
didn't care.  She instead skipped down the street, holding the train, going 
"choo choo!", as she went.

Unfortunately for her, one of her neighbors was from Bologna, Italy, where 
the words "Choo, choo" were not only profane, but a great insult to the 
lineage of anyone within listening distance.  Being a witch, the old lady 
did the good and proper thing, and turned the girl into a little monkey type 
thing.  Feeling particularly ironic that day, she made sure that the only 
words that the creature could utter consisted entirely of variations of the 
word that had gotten Anthy into so much trouble to begin with.  Satified, 
the old lady went in to check on how the calizzoni she was cooking was 
coming along.

Anthy's best friend Sabrina, saw the whole thing.  Outraged at the injustice 
of the terrible misunderstanding resulting from her friend's joy in the toy 
train, she vowed that she would someday find a way to change her friend back 
to her previously bubbly, non-profane state.  She then took Anthy's name as 
her own, to insure that she would never forget the importance of her quest.

Years went by, and finally "Anthy" found the power she was looking for, 
locked up in the history of a Japanese private school.  A power wonderful 
enough to save her friend, and maybe give her a local shopping spree at the 
mall once all was said and done.  There was a problem though.  In order to 
get to the wonderful power of the school, she would have to be the champion 
of a series of duels.  Knowing that she did not possess the attitude or the 
prowess to succeed in the duels, she instead decided to become the Rose 
Bride and minipul...err, "pursuade" the winner of the duels to grant her the 
boons that she wanted so badly.

"Anthy's" brother, Bud, realized the gold mine that "Anthy" had gotten 
herself into, and being a slightly meglomani...err, "ambitious" lad, decided 
to use the power that the champion of the duel would receive to rule the 
world from on high.  Knowing however, that the great leaders of the world 
would never bow to the power of a ruler named "Bud", he changed his name to 
the much more stylish "Akio" which had the added benefit of bringing out the 
babes in flocks.  Jumping into his father's car, he began the drive to the 
school in Japan.

Needless to say, "Anthy" was not at first pleased with her brother's 
arrival, but after a bit of backsta...err "negotions" she realized that her 
wants and "Akio's" were not mutually exclusive. After that she began to work 
with him to manip...err...dupe..err "arrange" events to the best outcome for 
everyone concerned.

Unfortunately, "Anthy" was no longer the person she once was.  Years of 
having a little blue monkey thing that drove everyone away with it's Italian 
profanity as her only friend had taken its toll on her.  She had forgotten 
her original quest, and had instead interperated the little creature's 
constant mantra of "Choo!" "Choo!" as a wish for it to be turned into a real 
freight train.  Determined to help her friend fulfill her deepest wishes, 
she found a new gullib...err "open minded" champion, and began the duels 
that would unlock the power she so desperately needed...

by Catnip soon to be set up at www.sempai.org
(catnip_kun@hotmail.com)

-- 
"...if you'd like to see an unashamedly postmodern anime,
     you should get ahold of 'Revolutionary Girl Utena.'"
         -Larry Wall, creator of perl, in a speech posted
            online at http://kiev.wall.org/~larry/pm.html