Bad line length formatting, but at least it's line wrapped.

left to go, she'd finally figure out she needs wake up
earlier!"

Missing "to"

   He grunted in reply, unintelligable through the
hand
attached to his face.  He pulled on Jupiter's arm, and

"unintelligible"

Artemis lauched himself at the creature, claws
exteneded.

"launched", "extended"

Geez, who doesn't know what a katana is?  The Samurai
weren't that ancient, though.  After all, they were still
around a couple of centuries ago.  Would you call George
Washington or Napoleon ancient?  

Tux boy doesn't combo with the others using the roses.
Instead he just holds back and acts as a tactical reserve
intervening with precision to disrupt enemy attacks as they
are about to win.  

Of course if you want him to combo, maybe you should have
him use the "Tuxedo Smoking Bomber" from the manga.

   "Apparently, Mako, this creature followed your
dark friend from
whereever he came from.  And yes, all the power Beryl

"wherever"

Makoto:  My old sempai reminds me of him!
Isn't anyone going to have doubts about the wisdom of Makoto
inviting some random derelict into her apartment?  

Part 2

Fixed that formatting problem I see.  

Hey!  He's stealing Guido Anchovy's attack!

OK, this is just a little _too_ blatant.  C'mon they'd have to
be total idiots not to speculate that the amnesiac guy is the
guy they've been helping, and while they are very close to being
total idiots, they aren't quite there.  

Shouldn't the title of this be "Elementally, Dear Makoto"?

Incidentally, wouldn't the bad guy have been pissed that Beryl
was making whoopie with the kidnapped Tux, instead of waking
him up?

Part 3

     Before the angel of stone reached either Sailor Moon
or Sailor Mars, a red rose got in it's way, forcing it to fall
to the side.  All the senshi, and the lead creature, looked up.

"Got in it's way"?  There's an uninspiring description if I've
ever read one.  What did the rose do?  And that should be "its",
by the way.  

That should be "meddlers" not "meddlings"

into the wound.  The Dark Ronin took a step back as the dragon
began to wreck havok on the creature from the inside.  Sensing

"wreak"

If Ferrus is so smart, why doesn't he pull back when he knows
he's losing?

    "I know that much, yes.  But where did I come from?  Why do I
havethese powers?  Why..."

"have these"