In a message dated 10/3/99 1:51:28 AM Eastern Daylight Time, dhomeric@jps.net 
writes:

It is an everpresent, popular theory that any piece of writing can be
 made to sing with more vim and vigor by the simple addition of the
 suffix -ass to all adjectives in the piece, excepting colors, gerunds,
 and the like.  However, it has occurred to me that this theory has never
 been placed to a proper scientific test.  therefore, I have chosen to
 submit the following piece of writing by Robert Haynie to this useful
 technique, to see if the writing improves.
 

Remind me to hurt you later. ^_^

kenko