Yup! You guessed it right! There has been yet another complete retard who
wrote up an article bashing Pokemon! Unlike the others, however, the idiot
isn't saying Pokemon is occult. Instead, this moron is insisting that
Pokemon is a big scam, and as further proof to his utter lack of a brain, he
posted it on alt.games.nintendo.pokemon, where there would probably be the
*least* number of Pokemon haters. Oh, and send lots of replies!Anyway, this
spoony bard is gonna be MSTed
right here, right now. Mwehehehehehehehehe.......


[The vast darkness of space. The absolute power and grace of the MST Star.
The beam of destruction that brings justice to planets of idiots. None of
which will be seen today, since the MST Star is closed for renovations.
Instead, we see our MSTers sitting on a couch on their lazy butts watching
the idiot post on TV instead of a giant theater because the repair bills
caused by the combined might of Washuu's experimentation, Kerrigan's
military obsession, and Dem'Ota's lack of common sense when deciding the
appropriate time to turn on his lightsaber and start waving it around.]

Dem'Ota: Welcome to the cheapo version of Demented Otaku's MST theater. The
main differences are that instead of row after row of seats, we just have
this old couch, and instead of a gigantic movie quality screen, we have a
six inch black and white TV with mono sound. Don't worry though! It's still
good!

[The camera view widens, and we can see everyone is holding a can of cola,
except for Belldandy. If you haven't read much on the AMG manga, Belldandy
gets drunk on cola. No people, no cans for her. Instead, she's gripping a
few 2 liter bottles of Jolt cola rather tightly, occasionally chugging a
bottle down.]

Washuu: *punches Dem'Ota* I told you not to put some in her tea!

Dem'Ota:Ow! I didn't know she'd keep asking for so much!

Kerrigan: Come on, Belldandy. I think you've had enough now.

Belldandy: *hic* Noooo.....I'lll tell you when I've haaad enuuuuffff!
*picks up another 2 liter bottle, and tosses the one she just finished into
a 10 foot tall pile of empty bottles*

Dem'Ota: I really think that fifteen bottles of cola is enough for you.

Belldandy: Shaddup! *throws a bolt at Dem'Ota (which misses by at least 20
feet), then belches loudly*

[Everyone sweatdrops]

Dem'Ota: Aaaaaanyway, let's start talking about the MST.

Washuu: Right! You see, this one moron posted a mini-essay talking about how
Pokemon was supposed to be evil to alt.games.nintendo.pokemon, where it
obviously wouldn't be welcome. Since that sort of behavior is usually
prominent in trolls, he will be MSTed as such.

Kerrigan: Meaning, we'll be making all sorts of personal attacks and mocking
him mercilessly.

Dem'Ota: Yup! Let's get started!

Washuu: I haven't had an idiot to analyze in quite some time!

Belldandy: yeaaahhh..........nuke dem morons,

From: <kleim@eudoramail.com>
Subject: Why Pokemon IS evil...
Date: Thursday, September 30, 1999 11:15 AM

Why Pokemon IS Evil...

Dem'Ota: Or rather, "My Big Moronic Essay That Has Absolutely No Logic In
It"

Pokemon, the latest mass-marketed obsession peddled to children.

Kerrigan: True, it's been mass-marketed, but remember this: Things do well
if people like them.

Dem'Ota: Since almost *everybody* just absolutely *loves* Pokemon, it's
currently doing very well.

Washuu: In fact, Pokemon was the main reason why Nintendo's profits hit a
six year high recently.

Belldady: not hihg! Im not high! Jes dukrn.

[Everyone sweatdrops]

It's not evil because of "demons" and "hidden messages" and other
religious imbecility.  Pokemon is evil because it's about indenturing

Belldandy: wait a sec. relguois imbeliciyt? i r not one imbecly, u *hic* ah,
ne'ermind. Hey! dem! gimme ano'er botle!

[Dem'Ota gives her another bottle of cola, then is quickly pounded by Washuu
and Kerrigan for not learning from his mistakes]

Dem'Ota: Ow!

children, and their parents, to an elitist, imagination-numbing, mania-
generating scam.

Washuu: Scam? A scam is some sort of scheme designed to swindle people out
of people while they get nothing or something really crappy.

Kerrigan: There's absolutely no scam. A scam would be buying a Sailor Moon
CD, then hearing Moon Densetsu played by a triangle, and accordian, and a
kazoo.

Dem'Ota: No, that would be just strange.

Numerous school districts and individual schools have wisely prohibited
trading Pokemon merchandise on their campuses to prevent the fighting
and other discipline-eroding behavior directly related to the scam.

Dem'Ota: They prohibited cards. And to prevent older kids from cheating
younger ones out of valuble cards. I doubt that Pokemon cards will cause
"fighting and other discipline-eroding behavior". A lot of my friends
collect Pokemon cards, and they're some of the best people I know!

Washuu: The only objects that will actually *cause* you to do weird stuff
are drugs, beer, etc.

Belldandy: ooh! Looky de pretty lights.....

Dem'Ota: And for some people, cola.

Children need to have their imaginations cultivated, for in the
infinite diversity of today's children's minds comes the dynamic
progress of our future.  Pokemon is yet another conformist, money-
making scam deadening the unknowable depths of the human imagination.

Washuu: See all those websites that make up fake Pokemon? That's using
imagination!

Dem'Ota: See all the diversity in types of Pokemon? That's not conformism!

Kerrigan: See all those Pokemon ripoffs? *That's* what all these accusations
should really be pointed at!

Belldandy: *goes to sleep*

Instead of cultivating the endless possibilities of individualism,
Pokemon, like its predecessors and contemporaries, too, reins in the
innocence and purity of children into a linear, two-dimensional realm,

Dem'Ota: There's plenty of stressing the importance of the indivudual! There
was that one episode where Fushigidane didn't want to evolve!

Washuu: You, Troll, have failed to give even one supporting detail to any of
your arguments!

with the sole goal of enslavement of mind towards the quest of "gotta
buy 'em all."  Pokemon reinforces the statification of society in its
inherent materialism: more money equals more Pokemon cards equals more
prestige in young social circles.  The affluent become popular; the not
so fortunate lose sense of self in their inability to afford to
purchase dignity and popularity.

Kerrigan: Hey, why don't you write up an article saying that every single
material object is evil! That's what the single supporting detail in this
entire article seems to say!

Washuu: Kids are smart. They know that dignity comes from within, not from
cards. You're being one absolute moron!

Pokemon is not merely about "cute," adventurous "pocket monsters."
It's about using you.  It's about using children.  Behind the funny
faces, the real "special power" is the ability to compel you to
conform.  If it weren't for the "cuteness" of the scam, would any
parent participate in the multi-billion dollar exploitation of their
children?

Dem'Ota: *rolls eyes* Again with the conformity idiocy! Do you have any
other details to support your poorly thought out statements?

Free yourself.  Free your children.

Kerrigan: Free your brain.

Washuu: People aren't slaves to Pokemon, and thus cannot be freed. If you
did any research, you'd know that Pokemon are the pets of humans!

Dem'Ota: Free your Pocket Monster!

[Washuu jams a syringe into Dem'Ota. Kerrigan punches him. Belldandy mumbles
at him. He falls to the floor, completely out of it.]

-- Milton John Kleim, Jr.
   Sacramento County, California, USA
   DOB: 1/27/71, i.e., not a clueless old fart

Washuu: There are so many things we could say about that, that it's really
tough to just choose one.

Dem'Ota: Not a clueless old fart? He's definitely at least a clueless fart.

Kerrigan: That's enough. Let's let the readers come up with stuff for now.

-

http://www.efn.org/~mjk/

Kerrigan: Visited the page. Quite frankly, I don't care about your personal
life. By writing this article, then posting it to a Pokemon newsgroup, you
have made yourself a complete troll!

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Dem'Ota: Buy what? It's official! This guy's a clueless old fart!

Washuu: I think we've had enough of this moron.

Dem'Ota: Damn, this show ain't no good. *shoots the 6 inch black and white
mono TV*

Kerrigan: You shot the TV! Now how are we gonna MST?!

Dem'Ota: Oops!

Kerigan and Washuu: DIE!

[Dem'Ota gets beaten up, while Belldandy is still sleeping]

Dem'Ota: Come on! Next episode, the MST Star should be fixed! Ow!

Washuu: See you guys next time! Until then, I'll be causing injury to baka
boy! Ja ne!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
"Watashi wa dare da? Koko wa doko nan da?"- Mewtwo
"......"- Darth Maul
"Ruuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" -Evangelion Unit 1
ICQ me at 35921209
AIM me as Dem Ota 99
E-mail me at Zznnchen@email.msn.com
Anime fans shall assimilate all!
Demented Otaku: Anime fan, spamfic writer, Boondocks fan, and
Akane supporter. Bow before the almighty whale cheese!