Subject: [FFML] [El Hazard][Shortfic] The Man in the Mirror{1st Draft}
From: "Emily Siazon" <emily9@erols.com>
Date: 10/3/1999, 11:08 AM
To:
CC: "Maria" <Mtrand2@aol.com>

"The Man in the Mirror"
An El Hazard Fanfic written by Emily Siazon.
All characters are owned by Pioneer Entertainment.
*********************************************************************

Today is your fortieth birthday. You've been avoiding the subject all 
week, not liking the reminder of the unsightly wrinkles and the extra 
weight you've acquired during the past twenty years. It doesn't help 
that your wife still looks as young and beautiful as the day you met 
her. 

You unsuccessfully try to swallow back the bitterness that rises at 
the reminder of her eternal youth. You repeat to yourself that your
growing age difference--if only in body--doesn't change how much you
love her.

But then why are you up at four a.m. staring morosely at your 
reflection?

You place your hand against the mirror, tracing over lines that you 
didn't notice the day before. Where has the time gone? Wasn't it just 
yesterday that your teenage self stared back at you under the same
harsh fluorescent light? 

You had such big dreams back then; you remember excitedly rousing her
from her sleep once to tell her about boating in Venice. You were 
going to do everything together.

But you never did.

Youth slipped from your grasp all too quickly, and you found yourself
resenting her for keeping her hold on hers.  

So you pushed her away.

Then she began to resent you for letting your dreams wither and die.

And so you grew angrier. You began to hate her for not being able to 
give you the normal life you wanted: to have children and to watch 
them grow. To not feel like your whole life just passed you by.

And she began hating you for hating her until what brought you 
together in the first place felt more like a distant dream.

Yesterday, at dinner, she had asked you why you bothered to stay.
She said that you've been so cold, so distant, that you might as well 
not be there at all.

You sat there and didn't deny it. How could you dispute something that
was so obviously true? So you ignored her question, not even bothering 
to look up when she ran off crying.

You walk over to the bed and place a hand against her cheek, watching 
sadly as her sleeping form smiles up at you.

It had been so long since you've seen it. It feels like a whole 
'nother lifetime when she used to look at you that way whenever you 
told her that you loved her.

When did it stop? When did you become nothing more than two strangers
living in the same house?

You don't even remember the last time you'd had a conversation that 
didn't end into a fight.

Before you can fully realize what you're doing, you find yourself 
shaking her awake, watching her smile disappear from her face through
tear-covered eyes.

"Ifurita, do you remember when we were in El Hazard and I wouldn't
stop chasing you until I could show you how much I loved you?" Your
grip on her sleeve tightens as she looks down sadly on the bed. "I 
was a nice person once, wasn't I?"

End.
*********************************************************************
Author's Notes: Um. . . I'm not really sure what to say about this
except that I'm sorry to all the Makoto fans out there; I didn't 
really mean for him to come out as such a big bastard.
Please send comments and criticisms to <emily9@erols.com>.