This has been around for a while. But I just joined the list, and figured 
that this would be a good first fic to post. Feel free to C&Cify it. Enjoy 
the Robotech version of the McLaughlin (I think that's it...) Group.

The Leonard Group

[Open with the shot of a darkened studio.]

Captain Gloval:[off camera] And now the Macross Broadcasting System proudly 
presents The
Leonard Group, a live, unrehersed program bringing you political insight and 
predictions from
the world's most knowledgeable insiders.

Gloval: [off camera] And now your host, Anatole Leonard!

[The studio is illuminated revealing a semi circle of people, seated, 
Leonard at the head of the
semi circle.]
[Seated around him are the Lisa Hayes, Rick Hunter, Khyron, Azonia, Captain 
Gloval, and Zor.]

Leonard: Issue one! After Dolza's all night BBQ of Earth, our society began 
to rebuild itself.
During this reconstruction we began to assimilate the Zentraedi survivors 
into our culture, yet
they only seem to have become incontent and violent. Was this a mistake? 
Give us the
answers Rick "Big Game" Hunter!

Rick: Well Anatole, did someone slip something into your morning Burrito 
Supreme? Of course
it isn't a mistake. If we don't take them where will they go? They'll wander 
off and return to
their warlike ways and the endless cycle of violence will begin yet again.

Leonard: Lisa "Mayonase" Hayes! If a tree falls in the forest and no one's 
around to hear it, what
is your response?

Lisa: Leonard, you're as wrong as Tirolian twins, many Zentraedi are 
productive members of
society as we speak with no violent tendencies.

Leonard: Captain Smiley?

Gloval: Vell... The Zentraedi should serve the working people and the state.

Leonard: Kawaiiron!

Khyron: Well... you inferior micronians fail to ---

Leonard: WRONG!!! Azonia Balbonia!

Azonia: Wait... Khyron didn't--

Leonard: WRONG!!! Zoopy Zoop Zoop Zor!

Zor: What? I just came here for the free protoculture.

Leonard: WRONG!!!

Leonard: Issue 2! The Zentraedi: Blight to Humanity or Intergalactic Poopy 
heads?

Khyron: What?! Wait a--

Leonard: WRONG!!! Rick Wicky Dicky Snicky Picky Hunter!

Rick: What? That question makes no sense.

Leonard: WRONG!!! Lisa "Maize" Hayes!

Lisa: Well I don't think that all of them are dangerous but...

Leonard: WRONG!!! Rap Master Zor!

Zor: Are you quite all right?

Leonard: WRONG!!! Khyron-o-rama!

Khyron: WE WILL DESTROY THE SDF-1!!!

Leonard: WRONG!!! All Night Azonia!

Azonia: Yes! We are a threat! We will annhilate you inferior micronians!

Leonard: WRONG!!!

Leonard: Issue 3! Who is foxier? Lynn Minmei or Sharon Apple? Tricky Dick 
Hunter!

Rick: Sharon who?

Leonard: WRONG!!! Lisa McHayes Value Meal!

Lisa: What? How am I supposed to know? I'm not gay.

Leonard: WRONG!!! You are the biggest lesbian in the RDF and frequently 
engage in hot sex
with Minmei while I watch!

Lisa: What are you talking about? No I don't.

Leonard: WRONG!!! Zory Wory Tory Lory Fory!

Zor: Minmei's hot... That hardly existant intellect really turns a guy like 
me on!

Leonard: WRONG!!! Sharon Apple gets your bitmap moving every day of the 
week. Khy Rye Fry
Ron!

Khyron: Minmei is an infuriating micronian with infernal witchcraft but 
Sharon Apple's got the
best virtual ass I've ever seen!

[Azonia stomps on Khyron's foot.]

Khyron: Damn you woman!

Leonard: Gloomy Gloval!

Gloval: It does not matter because they are both soulless capital pigs who 
will be destroyed
when the workers rise up and--

Leonard: WRONG!!!

Leonard: Issue 4! Will Khyron be getting any nookie tonight? Royal Rick of 
the RDF! What say
you?

Rick: No.

Leonard: Sailor SDF?

Lisa: No.

Leonard: Protoculture pothead!

Zor: Nope.

Leonard: Godless Gloval!

Gloval: Nope.

Leonard: Boozehound of the Zentraedi!

Azonia: No.

Khyron: Damn....

Leonard: That is correct... Khyron won't be getting any until the sun goes 
Nova.

[All laugh but Khyron.]

[Khyron gets up and knocks over his chair.]

[He shakes his fist at Leonard.]

Leonard: Damn you and your infernal circle Leonard! Mark my words! I will 
have my revenge
and it shall be sweet!

[He storms out.]
[Silence.]

Rick: Actually the question is mute cause Khyron is gay.

Zor: Good point.

Khyron: [off stage] DAMN YOU ALL!

Leonard: Issue 5! Some lunatics who shall remain nameless in the REF have 
decided to leave
Earth totally vulenerable to alien attack!

Rick & Lisa: Hey!

Leonard: The question is: I am smarter than these people so, shouldn't they 
hand all the forces
over to me and make me high mucky muck of earth?! Slick Rick!

Rick: God no.

Leonard: WRONG!!! Superdimensional Lisa!

Lisa: Soon as hell freezes over.

Leonard: WRONG!!! Captain Commie!

Gloval: I don't care. I'm dead.

Leonard: Zooty Zor!

Zor: Can I go now?

Leonard: WRONG!!! You leave when I say! Boozebabe!

Azonia: I think that Earth should---

Leonard: WRONG!!!

Azonia: But I--

Leonard: WRONG!!!

Leonard: Now on a scale of one to ten, one being the metaphysical certainity 
that Khyron will
get laid tonight, ten being the metaphysical certainty that I will eat your 
children, how likely is
it that Robotech 3000 will get made?

Rick: Zero.

Lisa: Zip.

Zor: Nada.

Azonia: Not a chance.

Gloval: Better than Magic Johnson getting another talk show.

Leonard: Predictions!

Lisa: The next time Minmei visits the SDF-1, she will have an accident with 
a faulty airlock.

Rick: The Invid's weakness will be revealed to be salt.

Zor: I will never ever come back here again.

Gloval: The workers will rise up and overthrow you capitalist pigs.

Azonia: I will--

Leonard: WRONG!!! Thanks for coming! Bye Bye!

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