An Autograph: Prologue
This is the revised copy of my first attempt at fan fiction, so please do
your absolute worst in commenting on how terrible this fic truly is. Trust
me, my ego can take it. :p
Looking at the ego, we see it is a small and pitiful thing in the
standard red shirt made famous by Star Trek.
<EGO> "I'm his ego, maim me!"
I would like to say that this is _NOT_ a SI fic and strangely enough I
haven't seen The Truman Show.
Legal disclaimer: None of the characters in this story are mine. They are
the property of Takahshi-sama and I have only stolen them in a feeble
attempt
to inflate my ego to almost human proportions.
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School's out and it's a typical day at the Tendo Dojo. Ranma and Akane are
working out. Actually Ranma is just dodging while Akane tries to clobber
him.
We hear Ranma, "C'mon Akane, its not like ANYONE wanted to eat any of that
slop you call cooking."
Akane shouts back, "But no one else tried to run out after I spent all that
time on it!"
"Akane, no one else was _home_," he replied. He hears the Dojo door open
and turns to see who it is.
*BAM*
Akane finally catches Ranma on the head with her mallet. "Not after you
screamed 'Akane is cooking!' they weren't," she sniffs.
Nabiki steps through the door and looks around the dojo. "Not bad, Akane,
you only managed to destroy half the dojo before you mangled your fianc�e."
"Hey it's not my fault he's such a jerk. He wouldn't even try the meal I
cooked for him, er... everyone," Akane countered.
The door slides aside again and this time we see a boy in his late teens
wearing the standard Furinkan school uniform. Of course no Furinkan uniform
_ever_ looked _this_ neat, the creases have creases and has that deep
really, almost impossible to maintain kind of clean. His piercing blue eyes
stare out from beneath a shock of dirty blond hair. As he stands there
puffing his cheeks are so large he looks slightly like a frog.
He looks at the trio and flashes a smile. "Hi, you're Ranma Saotome, aren't
you?"
Ranma nods, "look pal, I was just about to get some _real_ food. Can ya
come back ta challenge me some other time..."
Akane's face darkens at this but before Ranma is punted into LEO the boy
holds up his hand.
"I'm your biggest fan. The script says my name is _supposed_ to be..." He
pulls out what looks to be an index card from his shirt pocket. "Sum Dum
Guy? Sum Dum Guy! No, not even _my_ agent would let them give me a name
like 'Sum Dum Guy'." After a moment he looks crestfallen. "Well, maybe he
would. I better get more money for this though."
Nabiki pulls together her scattered wits at the mention of money. "So, what
exactly are you being paid for?" she asks almost too casually.
He looks at her strangely for a moment and replies, "Day after tomorrow I'm
supposed to come through here, challenge Ranma, beat him, and kidnap Akane
for my bride." At the bewildered look on everyone's face (after all nobody
just comes in and tells you his plan _before_ he attempts it), he pulls out
a thin booklet and flips through it. "After that Ranma trains a few days he
finds me, beats me up, and rescues Akane, right?"
Still no response.
"I do have the right script don't I? Listen I know the guy that hired me
for this episode said you guys don't 'do' rehearsals but since this is my
first big gig in Japan I just wanted to see if I could get a few pointers.
Ya know, from the longest working group of actors in the history of the
_world_ I expected a bit of, I don't know, understanding for the new guy."
Nabiki's face took on a look of mild irritation with just a hint of greed
half-way through 'Sum Guy's speech. "Listen I don't know who you are or
where you _think_ you are, but we," points to the dojo regulars, "are _not_
actors. You just happen to be interrupting 'real life' or what passes for
it around here."
The boy looks even more confused than Ranma does in most of _his_
conversations with Nabiki. "This is some kind of joke right? I walked in on
a scene or a rehearsal. If that's what's bothering you, well, I'm sorry but
I can't keep dodging security _and_ find a more opportune time to 'walk on'
before we actually got to one of my scenes."
Nabiki eases away from the boy, 'accidentally' leaving Ranma a clear line of
attack. "That was mildly amusing when you first started, but now you're just
getting a little weird, OK? I don't know what you're talking about but I
can assure you we _are not_ actors."
Sum Guy looks just plain bewildered at what the middle Tendo girl has just
told him. "C'mon I been watching this show... my _grandfather_ has been
watching this show since _he_ was a kid. You can't be unaware of all the
'programming' that goes on in _your_ house."
At the blank stares he receives a look of disbelief and horror floats across
his face, "You don't know, you really just don't know, do you?"
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Meaningless Author Ramblings
This revised copy was brought to you by the really great prereaders who have
been helping me turn a piece of mediocre junk into something you my want to
read.
As long as I get one response that doesn't say 'Die, you drooling fanboy
Loser' I will push on.
If _anyone_ wants to try to preread later episodes of this before I drop it
unvarnished on the list lemme know.
Tanks, Plane Tanks.
itebay emay, anboyfay
-Found written on a wall in a excavated Grecian bath...room
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