The Okonomiyaki Lady

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by Juuchan

Disclaimers: Heresay all legal crap.  I frankly don't have any real 
proffesional stuff, some I'm just saying all characters of this fanfiction
belong to Rumiko Takahashi.  The Landlady belongs to Roald Dahl.

Warning:  It is advised that if you are an Ukyou fan, I am not 
responsible if you read this.  Although it is not graphic in anyway, 
it's. . still a bit disturbing.  I'm not providing a key for what
 means what because it's quite simple to understand. 

Any flames will be forwarded to Roald Dahl.  Thank you and have a good
read.


The Okonomiyaki Lady


    Ranma and Akane were happily married.  Well, on terms of being 
residents of Nerima, they were happily married.  That didn't mean 
however, that they didn't have anymore fights.

    "RANMA NO BAKA!" Came a yell from the dojo as a humaniod figure
 flew from the courtyard and somewhere high into orbit.

    A passer-by silently counted away ten seconds as the body
 plummeted down again.  It was expected of a place like this little 
town, ever since the marriage arrangement was settled.

    "Oh boy," a child muttered to his friend.  "How much are you
willing to bet this time that she's kicking him out again?

    "Oh come on Kiuji," the girl answered him, "you know I know my
 parents better than anyone!  Mom's probably going to send him out 
again. Besides, he does have a business trip to go on."

    "Ah, I see Ranko." Kiuji answered his red-haired friend.  "Your 
father's got some bad tactics though, considering that he's such a good
 martial artist."

    "Duh! Come on, let's see if Kasumi's got anymore cookies.  I'm not
touching my mother's food today!" 

*****

    The night air was unusually cold during this time of the year.  The
 wind was like a sharp blade, cutting right at his cheeks.

    Ranma sighed and bent his head down, hoping that it would cut off 
some of the wind.  When he told Akane that he had to go on a trip off 
to another district in Makito(1), she nearly blew her top for no reason
at all.  But then again, as he thought it over later on, he had been a
bit blunt and brisk with telling her.

    Akane never liked the family being separated anyway.

    Why do I get stuck with having to meet with this branch anyway, 
thought Ranma, it's unfair.

    Still, his job was such a kind of thing; being the senior manager
 of the Japanese BDO Siedman Nerima-Tokyo branch wasn't easy.   He had
cleaned up on his school records during college (much by the whim of 
Akane, who wanted him to do something besides teach at the dojo) and
applied for the BDO Siedman.

    He was wearing a simply black Chinese suit, formal, yet loose and
 easy to move in.  One never knew when one needed to fight.  

    Right now though, he had other things to worry about.  Just get 
your own lodging, his boss told him, and then show up at the Makito 
branch.  That's all.  

    "Excuse me," he asked the porter as he exited the train station,
 "but do you know a fairly decent  but cheap hotel nearby?"  

    "I've heard of The Water Dragon," the porter answered, "it's only 
about half a kilometer away."

    "Thanks."  Ranma turned away, one hand lifting his suitcase with 
considerate ease.

    The houses down the street were pretty all the same: biege-white 
with gray trimming.  It actually had a European look in truth, but
 then, Makito was known to be visited quite oftenly by gaijins.  Oddly
enough, most of the houses were unlit.  From what he could tell, the 
houses were quite nice once, but now had peeling paint and cracked wood
panels.

    Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that there was a shining 
light coming from one of the buildings at the corner of the street.  
It came from one of the windows,shining brightly like a beacon of 
light.

    Odd, Ranma thought, why off all the houses on the street, only 
this one is lit?

    He walked over to the window and and saw that in front of the
 large lavender drapes was a little sign that read BEDDING AND MEALS
Next to the sign was a small vase filled with with orchids.  It looked
quite stunning against the dark background.

    Inside the building, there was a large open room, complete with
 mat.  It looked like a more comfortable version of his home.  One 
side of it, however, was almost like a bar, with a long counter and 
some seats.  It resemblence was unbearabley familiar. . almost like..
 Ucchan's.  There was a small bird in a cage hanging from the edge.  

    Whatever house that has pets in it must be good, he thought
absently.  It reminded a lot of his pop.  

    It was clearly a boardinghouse from the looks of it.  He had 
stayed in other types of them before, but in truth, he had to admit, 
he never felt comfortable in them.   

    Ranma turned to leave.  If anything, he could always come back to
 this place is The Water Dragon was too expensive.  Inflation was a
 major problem these days.  

    The house really was. . swanky, as the gaijins called it.

    Just as he stepped away from the window, a queer thing happened. 
The sign BEDDING AND MEALS seemed to repeat itself over and over in
 his mind, calling to him, BEDDING AND MEALS, BEDDING AND MEALS, 
BEDDING AND MEALS, compelling him to go, *forcing* him.

    Ranma was vaguely aware of something tugging at his aura, but many
 years of semi-docileness had dimmed even his senses, eventually 
giving way to an unatural force.

    Before he knew it, he was at the door, one hand on the old
 fashioned panel door.  He knocked once--only once because he was
 quite sure his knuckle hadn't even left the screen when it slid 
open-- and a lady *popped* out from the screen door.  

    The woman had long black hair, tied loosely in a ponytail.  She 
looked to be in her thirties --quite mature really, but somehow looked
 older than she should have been-- with a white bow in her hair.

    "Ranma!"  She nearly cried with delight in a way that didn't quite
 sound comfortable to him.  

    "Ucchan?"  He answered in disbelief as he stared at his childhood
 friend.  She left years ago when he married Akane, looking somewhat 
depressed.

    "Hello Ranma!" She said earnestly.  "My, it's been so long since 
I've seen you!  Come on in!  It must be freezing out there.  Everything's 
*all* ready for you!"

    "How. . how did you know?"  He asked, complying in the meanwhile.  
As he stepped inside, he carefully set down his case in the hallway, 
noticing that there were no other items down the corridor.  

    "Say Ukyou, you're running this boarding house?" Ranma inquired 
as he caught up with her bustling form.

    "Why yes!"  She answered promptly.

    "How much is it?"  

    "Oh, I really don't want to charge you, but business is business
 these days. . just about eight hundred and fifty yen per night." 
 Ukyou looked at him with a sigh, eyeing him from head to toe and up 
again. "I can lower it a bit, but usually, the seafood here costs the
fifty yen extra.  If you don't need it, I can just lower it to 800 
yen."

    That was fantastically cheap, considering it was less than half of
 what he was willing to pay.  

    "Anou. . it's okay, I guess I can just stay here,"  Ranma looked 
around.  "You must be swamped with guests at this low rate."

    "Well, I am," Ukyou admitted, "but I tend to be just a *teensy 
weensy* choosy.  But I was beginning to get *so* worried. . ."

    "Oh, don't worry about me!" Ranma answered confidently. "You know
me!  Besides, thanks Ucchan."

    "Oh, it's no problem Ran-chan!" Ukyou answered a bit too
 cheerfully.  "Everything's all ready!  Come on, I'll show you your 
room."

    Ranma followed her to the second floor, noting that every few 
minutes or so, she would look back at him with a hungry look, looking
over him from his head to his feet.  

    She lead him to the second floor.  "This is my room.  In case you
need anything, just call, okay?"

    Ranma nodded as she lead him to the third floor, where there was a
 futon already all laid out and ready for someone.  

    "Here's yours!" She called cheerfully, directing him to it.  "All
ready!"

    "Gee, this place's great Ukyou," Ranma commented.  "It's pretty."

    "I delighted you like it Ran-chan,"  Ukyou answered him, grinning.
"Why don't you come down to sign the guestbook?  Everyone does.
Besides, I've got some okonomiyaki for you.  I'm sure you must be
tired from your trip.  Besides, signing the guestbook is simply 
*necessary* byt the requirement of law.  Now, we wouldn't want to
break any laws at this stage, do we?"

    "Ah. . of course not,"  Ranma answered, slightly unnerved at her
smile.  "I'll go sign the book."
    
    It had occurred to Ranma, that somewhere, during the period in
which he chose to marry Akane, must have devastated Ukyou.  She had acted
normal on their wedding day, but within a few months, her resturant closed
and she left without a word.  If he didn't know better, he would say she
was heart broken.
    
    A few minutes later, he claned up a bit and walked downstairs and
over to the counter where the guestbook was.  There was a pen there 
already, so he wrote down his name and address.  There were only two 
other entries in the book, and those belonged to Konatsu and Tsubasa.

    Konatsu and Tsubasa, Ranma thought, how odd.  Both were Ukyou's 
admirers, but he assumed that over the years, the two must have found
someone else.  Still, he could have sworn there was something else 
familiar about them besides their interaction during his high school
years. . . . almost as if he had seen them somewhere else.  

    "Konatsu and Tsubasa. . " He found himself saying outloud. 

    "Oh, they were so nice to come and visit me," Ukyou's voice said
from the front.  Ranma looked up and saw that she was wearing her 
customary cooking uniform and already had a plate of hot, steaming 
okonomiyaki placed in front of him.  The odors wafted up to his nose in
delicious scents, reminding him of the days before. . of his teenage
days.  Strangely enough, the yatai wasn't behind the counter though.

    "I would say, I've seen them somewhere before aside from our 
younger days."

    "You have?  How interesting. . "

    "Hm. . maybe I've seen them in the newspapers or something.  I 
can't be sure, but they grew famous, or something like that."
    
    "Famous," she repeated.  "Oh, they weren't famous.  They were just
nice, ordinary people, considering both were transvesites."

    "I don't know. ." Ranma dug into his food with the normal gusto
he had many years before.  He swallowed (manners were something Akane just
absolutely INSISTED on after marrying, and the lessons were quite painful)
and then said, "Well, these entries are nearly five years old.  That must
have been a long time."

    "My!" She looked at him hard, leaning on the counter just like
before.  "Time flys, doesn't it Ranchan?  It seemed just like yesterday 
when you married Akane. . "

    "Ugh. . " Ranma leaned back a bit, trying not to turn a shade of
red.  He REALLY didn't want this again. .   "Um. . well, you know, somehow,
Konatsu and Tsubasa are connected in someway in these papers, you know?"

    "No, I don't."

    "Well, almost like they were famous for the same thing. . maybe
being cross-dressers or something."

    "I really can't say, since it was so long ago. . " Ukyou's eyes
seemed to glaze over.  "But still, it was so nice of them to visit me.  I
was getting a bit lonely."

    Ranma listened to Ukyou, finishing off his food.  "Gee. .I'm
really sorry Ukyou."

    "Well. . it's okay," she suddenly snapped back to normal.  "Why
don't you have some tea?"

    He nodded in agreement and watched as she poured two cups: one for
him, and one for her.  

    Ranma began to drink his tea, thinking how odd it was that the
very two people that admired Ukyou before were famous for something.  He
then noticed that Ukyou wasn't drinking, but rather looking at him over
the rim of her teacup.  He caught a whiff of something . .it wasn't 
unpleasant, but husky-like.  Walnuts?  Leather?  Yet, there was an 
undertone, a bit like that sterile hospital smell.  

    "You did sign the book, right?"  She asked him, breaking the 
silence.  

    "Why yes."

    "Oh, that's good, because I like to have a record of *all* my 
guests should my memory fail me."  

    There was another period of silence.

    "You know," he started. "I think I may have seen the two in the
headlines. . "

    "Well, I really can't say. I just know that I had never seen 
Konatsu so beautiful before. . he was wearing this sublime kimono, and
actually looked like a male.  And Tsubasa, he gave me a wonderful gift.
The most adorable little puppy!"

    "From what it seems, they must have left quite a while ago," Ranma
stated.

    "Left?" Ukyou frowned.  "But they never left?  They're both still
here, on the fourth floor."

    Ranma slowly set down his cup and stared at Ukyou, who sounded
serious.  She smiled at him, making him uncomfortable.  "Um. . you know,
the puppy you mentioned.  I've seen him around the chairs here, and I must
say, I was almost fooled.   I could have sworn it was alive."

    "Yes, but no more.  And it was the puppy fom Tsubasa, too; such a
darling creature."

    "It's unbelievably life-like.  Who did it?"

    "I did."

    "You did?"

    "Yes."

    "Wow," he commented after a lapse of silence.  "That must be a bit
hard."

    "Oh, not at all.  I stuff *all* my little pets after they pass
away.  I can't bear to bury them in the ground."  She looked a bit
wistful, then looked back at him, smiling.  "Would you like some more tea?"

    "Oh, no thank you."  Ranma didn't feel like drinking the tea 
anymore, sympathetic for Ukyou.  Besides, the tea tasted a bit like almonds
and he didn't care much for that.  "I'm really sorry that Akane and I 
haven't managed to contact you lately.  You haven't had any other guests
in a long time, have you?"

    She shook her head.  "No Ranchan.  Only you."

    "Well, I guess maybe you should visit us sometimes."  Ranma
suggested.

    Ukyou smiled at him.  "Maybe I should."


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, there goes another story of mine. . 

If you DO understand this story, don't flame me, please.  I wrote it on a
whim when I was bored.  Ranma isn't acting OOC, and nor is anyone else 
because who knows what may happen if Ranma marries Akane?  I'm not a 
devoted Ranma + Akane fan, but I just wanted this match up so it can fit
the story.  I frankly don't FEEL like writing an author's note that might
be longer than the story itself, so let's just leave it at that.  

I'm not a great writer, and this is just testing.  If you get it, it's
a parody.  If you don't, it's just a shortfic.

In case you don't know, potassium cyanide is a popular 
mystery poison and tastes faintly of bitter almonds.

  Ja!
 (If my sig's not there, blame AOL.)

    
      
 

    

     



            

    

  

        

Juuchan, the chibi jinzouningen, carrier of the All Holy Spork!
"I'm gonna rip your lungs out with a [SPORK]!" 
                                --Lunchtime and Ultra!


Juuchan, the chibi jinzouningen, carrier of the All Holy Spork!
"I'm gonna rip your lungs out with a [SPORK]!" 
                                --Lunchtime and Ultra!