On Sun, 26 Sep 1999, Gary Kleppe wrote:

Vincent Seifert <seifertv@ccshp1.ccs.csus.edu> wrote:

This chapter's for Gary Kleppe, who said "Go for it!" when I
mentioned this on FFIRC.  He's never been comfortable with my
portrayal of Kasumi; maybe this will make up for it...  :)

Hah! Think you can wheedle a C&C by mentioning me by name? Fat chance!
Not gonna fall for that!

Well, drat.  :)
 

    Kasumi put the last clean dish away and turned to survey her
domain.  The sink and countertop sparkled in the electric light,
everything was neatly put away, and the towels were drying on
their racks; the kitchen was ready for the night.  In the morning
it would come alive again with the presence of its mistress, and

Sure you want to use "mistress?" It's got some rather unfortunate
connotations.

Yeah, and it's not gonna lose them until people start using it the other
way.  Just doing my part to maintain the ambiguity of the language.

    "I know."  Kasumi sighed.  "I suppose I thought practicing
kempo these last few months made me a fighter, but now I know I'm
not, and I doubt I ever will be.  I don't have the edge that
Ranma has, or that you have.  I suddenly realized it was for real
and I panicked, and that's when he hit me."  She omitted the
other reason she'd panicked; fortunately, the dark hid her blush

>from Akane.

    "I don't get it."

    Kasumi smiled ruefully, unseen.  "Well, perhaps it's never
happened to you; you ARE a fighter."

Yeah, but she ought to know exactly what it's like to get into a fight
and find herself out of her league.

Sure, but not to panic then.  Akane's been known to screech a bit when
she's startled and it's not too serious, but in a real danger situation or
when she's already alerted she displays the same sort of split-second
do-something-constructive reflexes that Ranma does.

    "No, Akane!  That's not what I meant!  It's a joyful sound.
It's life, and maybe soon new life, and I see you glowing
afterwards, and it's so clear how good he makes you feel.  I'm
glad.  It's just... it's just that I want that for myself, too."

I'd expect her to be considerably embarrassed at saying something like
this out loud. It's quite a difference from the usual image she
projects.

Of course she's embarrassed, but she's in private with her sister, with
whom she's been discussing similar confidences (the other way 'round) for
some time.  And it's dark.  :)

    "Oh.  Well, as long as you're not hoping to get it from
Ranma, I wish you all the luck in the world," Akane said
cautiously.

I think she'd be saying this flippantly, if at all. Kasumi's already
said that she hasn't that sort of interest in Ranma, and this strikes me
as a pretty severe accusation to make against someone she's always
trusted.

Yes.  Akane intends this as a confirmation rather than an accusation. 
I'll see if I can make this clearer, but it does build on events in C1...
and this is one area where Akane is often less than rational. 

    "Now wait just a darn minute, Kasumi.  You can't be thinking--
my god, you are."

    "Well, why not?  If you could learn to love Ranma's faults,
perhaps I could learn to love Taro-san's."  Kasumi paused to give
Akane a chance to comment, but Akane appeared to be unable to say
anything.  "And when we were, um, fighting, it was... well...
thrilling.  I don't know if I love him, but he certainly has an
effect on me."

    "Argh.  My big sister has the hots for Pantyhose-Taro.
Kasumi, you baka."

    "I'm sorry you feel that way," Kasumi said, hurt.  "It came
as a surprise to me too, and I'm still not sure how I feel about
it.  I was hoping for your help."

Hrm. My gut feeling here is that you're jumping the gun on this. While
you might be able to make a case for Kasumi being interetsed in
Pantyhose, it's not convincing to me at this point. If anything, I think
her feelings would be very conflicted: intrigued by a man who doesn't
treat her like a delicate flower, afraid of what he might do to her,
embarrassed that she's feeling a schoolgirl crush on someone who treated
her so roughly, unhappy that she might never be able to satisfy her
mothering instincts and a little disgusted with herself for feeling this
way, etc. etc.

Of course she's conflicted; she says so.  (Add "physical attraction" to
the list.)  Without meaning to, Akane just talked her into pursuing the
matter rather than dismissing it.

The omiai is Kasumi's way of pursuing the matter; she's not making a
committment with it, but she wants to find out if she should, if she wants
to, how Taro feels about it, etc.

However, this sort of thing (sudden marital interest on very thin
pretexts) is rampant in Ranma 1/2; the only weird thing here is that it's
happening to Kasumi this time.  If it's good enough for Takahashi, it's
good enough for me.  :) 

Akane might be a bit more taken aback by this, too. I mean, her sister
seems to be interested in a guy who just beat her up. I could see her
saying "Oh, yes, Kasumi, I understand how you feel. If you really want
to, of course I'll help you get together with Pantyhose" and then going
out of her way to try to get Kasumi together with *other* guys, trying
not to be obvious about it and failing miserably.

Wait for it.  :)  I'm not through with this (unless audience reaction is
overwhelmingly negative), although C4 will be moving on to other matters.
The only way the Kasumi/Taro could be brought to a conclusion in one
chapter is if they both reject it, and that's not amusing.

    "Before, moron.  You saw everything that happened after."
Taro lowered his hand and sighed.  "I never noticed before she
stood up to me, but she's pretty, too."

    "And a great cook," Ranma added, then caught himself; an
awful suspicion dawned on him.

    "And a great cook.  Why do these things happen to me?!
Curse you, Happosai!  Another chance at happiness, ruined!"

Seems a bit odd for him to make this kind of swing around Ranma. he
might well feel this way, but why is he saying so?

I don't think Taro cares much about what Ranma thinks of him; certainly
not enough to guard his speech.

    "Hmm, let's see... Garter-Taro was my first thought.  He
actually seemed to be considering Teddy-Taro, but then I
suggested Negligee-Taro, and that's kept him until now."
Happosai blew a smoke-ring.  Taro seethed.

Hey, Teddy's actually a reasonable name. If I were Pantyhose, I'd go
with that one fer sure.

But if you were Happosai, and saw that Taro was going for it...?
 

    Ranma hadn't been sitting long when sounds from upstairs
heralded the appearance of the other principal.  Akane came into

"Aloha, keiki! I goan' change dat name to PINEAPPLE Taro, yeah?"

groan.  I knew someone would say that, and suspected it would be you.  :)

    The men ignored them.  "Hah!" Happosai scoffed.  "Any fool
can see that Pantyhose-Taro has fine prospects!"

    "Nonsense!" Soun declared.  His glance raked contemptuously
over Taro.  "He's a penniless wanderer with no family, no
education, and no employment!  Tell me, young Taro-san, how will
you support your family if I allow you to marry my daughter?  Eh?
Eh?  Hah!  You see?"

Doesn't Kasumi have some sort of reaction to this?

Yes, later: "provoked".  She isn't given much time for a reaction then.  I
could put in a reaction of "Father!" but a reaction of "Oh, my.  He's
right.  I couldn't possibly marry someone as poor as that" doesn't fit my
plans.  :) 

    Akane smiled and touched Ranma's cheek.  "I love you too,
Ranma.  But I told you: I want to go with you wherever you go.  I
want to fight by your side."  She left out the rest of what she'd
said that night, knowing Ranma remembered it: *"If I die, I want
to die in your arms.  Don't you DARE take that away from me
because you want me to be safe!"*

Nice that you're continuing the character development that your started
in TotH.

Well, that's sort of the point.  :)  Thanks!
 

    "That's him," Ranma agreed, speaking for the first time.
"He's an asshole, and he's a pretty good martial artist, but he's
not a killer, at least."

    Ukyo smirked.  "Sorta like you, then?"

    "Hey!"

    By that time Akane had her breath back.  "You know, that's
pretty close to the truth," she said in a surprised tone.

    "Hey!"

    "No, really.  He's, well, harsher than Ranma, probably
because he's had a harder life, but he's really a decent guy
underneath, just like Ranma."

This seems just a little too obvious -- a way of saying to the readers
"Pantyhose isn't so bad, because Ranma does some of the same things as
him." While there's certainly some validity to this point, I think you
could make it more subtly.

Maybe.  I just thought that's what Akane would say.  In the manga, she
seems to be rather forgiving of his treatment of her, her family, and her
house; she likes him, in an "I wish he wouldn't make such a mess" sort of
way.

I also wonder how many readers of this chapter know anything about Taro
from the source material; Viz isn't quite there yet, and it'll be quite a
while before they reach his other appearances.

    Konatsu, clad in his patched kunoichi's garb of faded red,
straightened.  Taro's jaw dropped.  "There's no Spring of Drowned
Ninja Girl!" he objected.

How's he know? Maybe there is.

Hasn't Taro made an intensive study of Jusenkyo?  Not that he got it all
right, mind you, as the incident of the twin-water proves, but he
certainly thinks he knows something about the place.

    "'...even without a blanket'," Konatsu muttered absently,
writing rapidly in a small notebook.

Heh.

Of course, who he's going to use the line ON, I have no idea.  :)

    Happosai turned, saw his reflection in the tarnished brass
and silver mirror, and froze.  Tears formed in his wide eyes and
rolled down his wizened cheeks.  "Oh, what a fool I've been!" he
sobbed.

    "Hah!" Taro exulted.  "Now you regret giving me this silly
name!  Well, you can atone by giving me a new one, a good one--"

    "Don't be silly," Happosai snorted.  "I don't regret that
one bit!  What I regret is all the opportunities I've let slip
by!  Well, no more!"

Heh heh heh! Very appropriate reaction.

Taro's plans for Happosai NEVER work.  I think it's a law of the
Takahashiverse.

I'd say that the second half of this went better than the first. The
beginning seemed a little too eager to rush the idea of
Kasumi/Pantyhose. It can probably work, but there's some very real
impediments that need to be fully considered. I'd suggest making Kasumi
more conflicted about the way she feels about Pantyhose in the
beginning, perhaps more time spent developing her feelings toward him
and also maybe more opposition from Akane and the others. Either that,
or maybe make Kasumi's feelings totally mysterious and let the others
think she's gone crazy or that she's desperately launching onto the only
guy she knows, then by the end you can show that it's not so crazy after
all.

That's probably good advice; I'll mull this and see what develops.  I
notice you haven't said anything about the notion that Taro would be
interested in Kasumi; is that plausible?

Just my 2 yen here. Oh, and since people are understandably sick of me
plugging the translated manga project ^_^

I'll plug it, then; Taro shows up there.  :)  http://ranmascan.dhs.org/

 lemme stick in a plug for the
upcoming audio version of Taming of the Horse, the prequel to this fic.
It's under construction, and auditions for all the roles are being
sought. For info, go to <http://nabiki.newberry.edu/radioplay/>.

...and bug Max to put the prologue up.  :) :)

Thanks for the comments, Gary!  I know this story has weaknesses, but
that's why I sent it out.

Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
CSUS hired me to build their LANs, not to give away the homeworld.