Seems not to have posted the first time.. stupid new server... *sigh*

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PART V
Certain Death Teacher!
Schooldays are NOT the Best Days of Our Lives.
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"Morning, squirt. How's your head?"
Skuld groaned. "Kill me. Please."
"Not good, eh?" Urd noticed. She turned back to her cooking to hide a wry grin. *That'll teach you that
big sister knows best!*
Skuld winced as Urd's voice rang in her ears and pounded through her head. So this was what hangovers
felt like. *Next time I'll sympathise with Urd,* she thought, glaring at her reflection in the grill. Her
head was thumping, her mouth was dry and there was a nasty taste and she looked worse than the Grim
Reapers passport photo. Also, she kept seeing disturbing images in her mind and she was still trying to
ascertain which were real and which weren't. "Ukyo and Ryoga are back, right?"
"Yep." Urd looked at the clock. "If fact, if they don't get up soon, they'll be late for school."
Ryoga chose that second to come charging down the stairs, much to Skuld's despair. "Morning! Where's
Ucchan? We'll be late!"
"She's still asleep. Breakfast?" Urd offered the pan forward.
Ryoga studied the contents for a moment, then decided it would be kinder to his stomach to decline. "No
thank you. I'll go wake her up." He vanished up the stairs. There was a few moments of silence before...
"EEEEEEEEEEK!!!"
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*
*CRASH*
Looooong pause. Urd and Skuld stared at the new hole in the ceiling/ floor, then at the crash site where
Ryoga was lying, covered by the telltale marks of Ukyo's patented spatula attacks.
"I have a question," Urd said finally.
"What?" Skuld asked weakly.
She held the pan of mixed giblets- uh, food - under Skuld's nose. "Do you think this needs more salt?"
Skuld pushed it away and knelt down next to Ryoga's prone form. "Hey! What did you do to her?!" Ryoga
opened his eyes and groaned. "I woke her up, that's all!" Ukyo thundered down the stairs. "Sorry! You
made me jump!" She grabbed him by the knot of his bandanna. "Come on, we're late!"
"Wait! My book bag! My breakfast! Ucchan waaaaiiiit!!!

"Aloooohhhhaaaa, keiki! Da big Kahuna got sometin ta say. Seein' how Halloween comin' close an' all, I
gone an' decided ta t'row all my keiki a big ol' luau." Silence echoed through the room. However, the
principal ignored it and continued his little speech. "An another thin, you is havin' bran' new teacher!
She clean up three reform schools!"
"Furinkan? A reform school?" Hiroshi commented.
"Yay. New teacher," Ranma groaned. "Anyone _he_ likes means trouble for us."
"Allow me to introduce Miss Hinako Ninomiya!" 
He waved at the doorway and a cute little girl bounced into the room. "Hi! I'm Hinako Ninomiya!" She
leaned forward and waved a finger threateningly. "All you bad kids better watch out!!!!"
Akane, Ranma and Mihoshi stared at her in amazement - Ranma in particular, remembering the draining
technique she'd used on him. All the other students merely face-faulted. Still smiling, Hinako-chan
looked around the room, until her gaze fell upon Ryoga. The smile wavering somewhat, she bounced over to
him. "Are you Ryoga Hibiki?"
Ryoga snapped out of his daydream and looked around in confusion. "Who, me? Yes, I am. Why?"
"HAPPO FIFTY YEN SATSU!"
The rest of the class watched with a mixture of shock, amazement and lust (from the boys! the boys! Well,
maybe some of the girls too...) as Hinako-chan changed from child to adult, leaving Ryoga lying limply
atop his desk. She smiled and flicked her hair over her shoulder. "Let that be a warning to you all." She
walked over to the blackboard. "I'll be taking you for English..."
Screams from outside cut through her speech and she walked over to the window, the rest of the class a
VERY safe distance behind her.
"Give us back our gym shorts, you old lecher!!!"
"Dirty old pervert!!"
"Come on, girls! Get the dirty old man!!"
Happosai bounced in front of his trademark stampede of girls, wearing a Furinkan High uniform. (Where he
got one for someone a foot tall still beats me!) "Old man?! Can't you see my uniform?!"
Ranma shook his head. "He thinks people are going to fall for that?!"
Hinako gasped. "A delinquent student!" She vaulted out of the window and landed in front of the stampede
path. "HAPPO NO YEN COIN RETURN!!!"
A wave of ki slammed into Happosai, knocking him back into the gang of girls, who immediately set about
turning him into pancake batter or your best offer. Hinako-chan bounced up and down. "Yay! Bulls-eye!"
"You... little... brat..." Happosai gasped, climbing unsteadily to his feet and lurching forward. "Take
this!!!" 
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
"Woah! That's some battle aura!" Ranma looked down at the battlefield, impressed.
"Do you think she'll be OK?" Ukyo asked.
Akane nodded. "Watch."
"HAPPO FIVE YEN SATSU!!!"
Ukyo blinked. "That's... some technique she's got!" She turned to Ranma. "You know her?"
"We met her when we were looking for the Realm of Lost Spirits," Ranma explained. "I didn't know she was
going to be our teacher, though."
Outside, Hinako smirked down at Happosai. "Feel the power of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts
Ultimate Attack, delinquent!" she said triumphantly.
"Anything Goes...?" Akane wondered aloud.
"She nailed Happosai in one blow!" Mihoshi gushed.
Hinako returned to the room and shooed the students away from the window. "Back to your seats!"
Class continued uneventfully for a while, until Ryoga regained consciousness. He blinked a few times,
then leaned over and poked Ranma. "Who's that woman? Where'd the little girl go?"
Hinako whirled around. "Mr Hibiki! No talking in class! HAPPO NO YEN COIN RETURN!"
With that, Ryoga found himself part of the structure of the building. *Why me...*

Hinako walked down the corridor, closely followed by a crowd of boys. 
"What's your favourite food?!"
"Can you give us your measurements?!"
"How about your phone number?!"
She laughed lightly. "Boys, students shouldn't hit on their teachers, you know."
"Well, can you at least tell us what kind of guys you like?" Hiroshi asked curiously.
Hinako stopped walking and the boys all waited eagerly. "Well, he'd have to strong - someone I could
count on..." She paused and watched Ranma, Akane, Ukyo and Ryoga walk by. (Ryoga supported by both Ranma
and Ukyo thanks to having been drained for not paying attention in class.) She narrowed her eyes. *If
you're anything like your sister, Mr Hibiki, I just know you'll be the greatest delinquent in this
school... I've got my eye on you!*
A chill went down Ryoga's spine.
Ranma turned around and glanced at Hinako. "Those techniques of hers are amazing..."
"They're also painfully irritating," Ryoga grumbled.
Hinako whipped around. "Mock my teaching methods, will you?!! HAPPO NO YEN COIN RETURN!!" She stalked
away, a trail of boys left in her wake.
Ranma prised Ryoga out of the wall. "What did you do to her? She seems to have some kind of grudge
against you."
"I didn't do anything to her! She just has it in for me!" Ryoga protested, trying to find his balance.
Akane shook her head. "There has to be more to it than that. Not paying attention in class can hardly be
classed as a zappable offence."
"Maybe you blundered through her wall or something," Ukyo suggested. *Or maybe you kissed her on one of
your midnight wanders...* She shook her head. *NO! I won't think about that!*
Ranma watched Ryoga wobble again. "Come on, I'll take you to the nurses office."
"I don't need your help, Ranma," Ryoga growled through gritted teeth.
"Yeah? And how long do you think it'll take you to find it on your own? Let Ranchan help you," Ukyo
advised. "Come on Akane, we've got PE next. We'd better start getting changed."

"Do you think it's the coin that's the source of her power?"
Ryoga watched Ranma pace the floor of the nurses station like a caged animal and shook his head. 
"Don't be a dunce. She uses different coins. And she didn't use any coin for that no yen return thing." 
"Happo No Yen Coin Return," Ranma corrected. He sighed. "Wouldn't it be great to have an ultimate technique
like that... do you think she'd teach me it?"
"Forget it. You wouldn't be able to use the Happo Five Yen Satsu if you stood on your head."
Ranma spun around. Happosai fluttered into the room. "What do you mean by that, you little lecher?!"
"Hinako has a specially modified metabolism, which enables her to drain battle auras," Happosai
explained. "However, there is a way to combat this." He held out a scroll. "These pressure points will
cut off her powers for good." He wobbled a little before continuing. "Ranma, m'boy, it's up to you to put
a stop to Hinako, for the sake of all the martial artists in the world!"
"Hey! What about me, I'M the one she hates!" Ryoga cut in.
Happosai looked at him, then at Ranma. "Why not work together? If you combine your talents you should be
able to defeat her."
Ranma and Ryoga exchanged a Look, before nodding grudgingly. "You distract her and I'll get her pressure
points, OK?" Ranma decided. "You could Bakusai Tenketsu a wall or something."
Ryoga nodded and stood up. "Let's go."

"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!!"
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Ryoga stood back and studied his handiwork, waiting for the fireworks to commence. He wasn't
disappointed.
"Mr Hibiki! How DARE you vandalise school property!!" Hinako-chan cried, stamping her foot on the floor. 
"Sorry, Teach. I couldn't find my classroom," Ryoga lied (sort of).
"That's no excuse! HAPPO FIFTY YEN SATSU!!" Hinako-chan whipped out her fifty yen piece and began
draining him. Ranma leapt down from his perch on the ceiling, landing behind her and looped an arm around
her in an attempt to get to the pressure points, knocking her off balance. All three of them landed in a
very compromising tangle.

187: Neriman Compromising Positions Law.
1. When people of the opposite sex are in a compromising situation a third party will often witness said
compromising position and jump to the wrong conclusion as quickly as possible.
E.g.: If a Tendo daughter is caught in a compromising situation with a male (usually Ranma), Soun Tendo
will walk in at the worst (or best, depending on your point of view) moment.

A large number of students had decided to investigate the explosion and ran around the corner before the
three could sort themselves out. There was a short pause. Then whispers began, getting louder and louder.
"Look at that! Ranma Saotome's trying to add an older woman to his list of conquests!"
"I never knew those guys were into threesomes..."
"I always knew there was something strange about those two!"
"I heard they take it in turns to be the girl."
"Well, _I_ heard that that Hibiki guy wears Kuonji's underwear."
"Uh oh. Here comes Akane!"
"And Ukyo too. They look mad!"
The crowd parted before the two girls. Akane cracked her knuckles. "RAAAANNNNMMMMAAAA... not only do you
try it on with another woman, but you drag poor Ryoga into this mess too!!"
"Don't you 'poor Ryoga' him, he probably talked Ranchan into this!" Ukyo snarled, waving her spatula
around.
"W-wait! It's not what you think!" Ryoga protested. 
"Akane, I can explain!" Ranma jumped to his feet and backed away, closely followed by Ryoga. 
Hinako stood up, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. "I see what happened. You," she began, pointing
at Ryoga, "must have talked Mr Saotome into this! I knew you were a delinquent the moment I set eyes on
you!"
"T-that's insane!" Ryoga protested. Then he jumped to one side to avoid the spatula, which struck the
spot where he'd been a second before. "Ucchan, it's a lie! I didn't do anything!"
"Save it, Hibiki!" Ukyo snarled. "Prepare to die!!!"
*CLANNNNNG*CRASH*BANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG*

"Wow, she really got you good," Ranma commented, examining the crumpled heap that was Ryoga. 
Ryoga groaned and stood up slowly. "She is SUCH a tomboy. I can't kiss her, Ranma. She'd kill me first."
"How's that going, anyway?" Ranma asked eagerly. *If those two get together then all my problems are
solved!!! Wahahahahaha!!!!!...*
In response, Ryoga merely glared at him and waved down at himself, cuts, bruises and rips in his clothing
clearly evident. "What do YOU think?"
"Point taken."
"There's no way I can do it, Ranma! Please, let me do something else," he begged.
Ranma pretended to consider it for a second. "OK, you can tell Akane that you're P-chan."
"I hate you." 
A voice spoke behind them. "Shouldn't you boys be in class?"
Ranma jumped into Ryoga's arms. "Don't zap me! He's the delinquent!"
Washu looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"
"Washu Little Sensei! It's only you!" Ranma laughed in relief. "I thought you were Miss Hinako."
Ryoga let go of Ranma, dropping him on his butt on the floor. Washu laughed, then switched to stern.
"Little Washu. Seriously, you should be in class. You'd better have a good excuse or I'll have to make
you carry buckets."
"I was leading lost boy to the nurses office - again," Ranma told her, climbing to his feet and rubbing
his rear. "That hurt, you know."
Washu looked at Ryoga with the trained eye of a mother and a total and utter scientific genius. "You
should go home. But go to the nurses office - I'll write you a hall pass."
"Thanks, Sensei Washu." Washu returned to her classroom and the other two began to walk away, taking the
outside route..
*SPLASH*
"Do you think there was someone out there?"
Ranma-chan shook her fist at the sky. "Could you guys at least LOOK out of the window before you throw
buckets out of them??!!"

End Part V
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Kai-Chan
Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponry Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
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Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !
"I just went to Germany, and all I got was this lousy sig!"