===========================
PART VI
Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave
When First We Practise To...
===========================

"Excuse me?"
Ryoga-chan spun around to see Hinako-chan standing behind her. *Not again!!* Then she remembered the
all-important piece of paper she was holding, and waved it like the white flag it was. "Hall pass! Hall
pass! See, I have a hall pass and you can't hurt me!" She resisted the urge to add "so
neener-neener-neener!"
Hinako-chan blinked. "I was just wondering if you knew where the plasters were. I got a paper cut and it
hurts." She leaned closer to Ryoga-chan and narrowed her eyes. "Are you related to Ryoga Hibiki?" she
asked suspiciously.
It was then that Ryoga-chan realised Hinako-chan didn't recognise her. Well, she wasn't about to make the
situation worse, anyway. "No! No, my name's... uh... Ranka. Ranka... uh... Kurenai." She laughed
nervously. "Yeah, Ranka Kurenai. That's me all right!"
Hinako-chan looked at her in concern. "What happened to you? You look hurt."
"I uh... got into a bit of a fight..."
"Ladies shouldn't really fight, you know," Hinako advised. "If you tell me who beat you up, I'll
discipline them. It's a teacher's duty!!"
"Nonono!! That's fine, that's OK, really!" Ryoga-chan held her hands out defensively. "The other guy
looks worse off, believe me," she lied through her teeth.
Thankfully, she was saved by the arrival of the school nurse. "You again," she sighed. "Come on in then."
Ryoga-chan instantly fled to the sanctuary of the nurses office.
Hinako-chan hovered around outside patiently, still on her quest for plasters when Ryoga - gender
properly restored - emerged from the office covered in cuts, scratches, bandages, multicoloured plasters
and gauze trimmings. (And his clothes. I shouldn't have to say that!) He blinked at her in fear. "Uh...
you're still here??" he enquired weakly.
Hinako-chan glared at him for a moment. "You!" She posed dramatically. "You must have been the one who
beat up that nice Ranka girl!"
"..."
"HAPPO FIFTY YEN SATSU!!!!"
*Oh man... not again!* Ryoga thought as his strength began to fade. He looked at Hinako's rapidly ageing
body and made a split second decision. *This is no time to be shy... if she keeps draining my battle
aura, she could kill me!* And with that thought, he glomped.
Luck was (as per usual) once again not on Ryoga's side as everybody's favourite extortionist and
blackmailer, Nabiki Tendo chose that second to fetch the nurse to bring aid to Furinkan's favourite blunt
object, Tatewaki Kuno. She took in the scene before her, eyes agog. *And here I thought the guy was the
biggest wuss on the planet when it came to touching a girl!* Finally, she spoke. 
"Oh my!"
Hinako and Ryoga froze, then slowly swivelled their heads to look in Nabiki's direction. There was a
loooooong silence.
"Excuse me. Very sorry." Nabiki stepped back into the corridor and closed the door behind her.
The closing click of the door jarred them out of their temporary shock. "N-Nabiki, wait!" Ryoga ran to
the door and opened it and ran down the hallway. In the opposite direction. "It's not what you think!"
Hinako glared daggers after him. *Why, that... lady-killing delinquent!* She posed dramatically, waves
crashing behind her. "I swear, Ryoga Hibiki, I will bring you to justice!!!"
"Looks like our new teacher has a few screws loose," Ayeka remarked just out of Hinako's earshot.
"Great. Now she matches all the others," Tenchi replied.

"... And I saw them with my own two eyes! Unable to keep their hands off of each other!" Nabiki retold
her story to the little group around her, who gasped in amazement and whispered among themselves.
There were, of course, a few sceptics. 
"Yeah right, Nabiki," Mihoshi scoffed. "She's his teacher."
"And she seems to really hate him," Ukyo pointed out.
Nabiki laughed. "You two are sooo naive. Think about it. Ryoga, the eternally lost boy, gets lost one day
and..."

FLOATING PUBLIC DAYDREAM SEQUENCE
Chibi-Hinako is being chased by rabid wolves.
Chibi-Hinako: Eek! Help me, somebody!
Chibi-Ryoga: I'll save you, miss!
Chibi-Ryoga beats the wolves and Chibi-Hinako falls into his arms, sobbing.
Chibi-Hinako: Oh, my saviour! How can I ever thank you??!!

"...And so begins the love affair," Nabiki continued. "But then, Ryoga gets lost again. Heart-broken,
Hinako scours the world, searching for her long-lost love. Finally, she finds out that he's at Furinkan
High, so she takes a job as a teacher to be close to him... would the loser with the violin please quit
it?!! Thank you." She paused thoughtfully. "Now, where was I? Oh yes!" She snapped her fingers and
continued. "She takes a job as a teacher, to scrape up enough money for them both to run away together,
but neither of them can stand to be away from each other. They steal a few precious moments together
whenever they can, away from prying eyes and ears..."

YET ANOTHER FLOATING PUBLIC DREAM SEQUENCE
Chibi-Ryoga meets Chibi-Hinako in her office when nobody's looking.
Chibi-Hinako: Oh Ryo-chan, my one and only, how I've missed you!
Chibi-Hinako and Chibi-Ryoga start kissing in a way that makes Romeo and Juliet look like Rosie and Jim.
(BBC puppet show if you don't get it.) Finally, Chibi-Ryoga pulls away. Chibi-Ryoga: Hina-chan, we
mustn't! What if somebody were to find out? Chibi-Hinako starts to cry. Chibi-Hinako: Oh, you're right,
my darling. But yet, I can't stand to be apart from you! Chibi-Ryoga: Or I, you. They kiss again, then
Chibi-Hinako pulls away. Chibi-Hinako: I have an idea. If I pretend to dislike you, then nobody will know
of our secret! Chibi-Ryoga: Hina-chan, you're a genius! Chibi-Hinako: Oh Ryo-chan...

"...And like a whirlwind of love, he sweeps her into his arms, his kisses on her lips like rain on
parched earth, oo-wah oo-wah," Nabiki finished, holding a microphone. (Been around Kuno too long, I
reckon.)
There was a small silence. "You're crazy!" Ukyo finally spluttered.
"Am I?" Nabiki said smugly. "Normally I would charge for this, but I believe you have to be told." She
handed over a photograph. Ukyo fell over backwards, still holding the photograph of Ryoga with his hand
on Hinako's breast. Nabiki patted her on the shoulder as she slowly stood up. "You poor, misled girl, you
must be heartbroken," she said in a soothing voice.
"How did you get this photo?" Ukyo asked quietly.
"Ah, the wonders of modern technology," Nabiki said proudly. Ukyo looked blank. "I have a camera in my
watch," she explained.
Just then, Ryoga charged through the door and dove under a desk. Before anyone could react, Hinako-chan
charged into the room as well. "WHERE IS THAT DELINQUENT, HIBIKI?!!!" she yelled, battle aura lighting
her up like a bonfire.
Ukyo pointed out of the door. "He ran towards the gym," she lied before anybody else could get a word in.
Hinako-chan vanished as quickly as she had appeared.
Ryoga emerged from his hidey hole. "Thanks, Ucchan," he said, gratefully. "I thought she was going to
kill me."
Everyone was on standby for fireworks. They weren't disappointed. "I wouldn't let her kill you, Ryoga,"
Ukyo said sweetly. She reached for her battle spatula. "BECAUSE I WANT THAT PLEASURE FOR MYSELF!!!!"
- The rest of this scene has not made it through the BBFC due to the adverse amount of violence. If you
think that's bad, you don't wanna know what they did to La Blue Girl.  (And no searching of the
cutting-room floors!) -

*Desperate times call for desperate measure.* With that thought, Ryoga pulled the scroll out of his bag.
*Saotome School of Anything Goes Making Women Fall in Love With You. Sheesh!* He continued reading as he
limped down the corridor. "Step one, if she's cold, make her laugh. She'll love you for it." He looked up
at the classroom and grinned. *Yes! I made it all the way to Ucchan's classroom without getting lost!*
Ukyo glanced at him as the class piled out, before giving a haughty sniff and walking past him, nose in
the air. Undeterred, he walked after her. "Hey, Ucchan, I heard this really good joke, and I wanted to
tell you it." He waited for some kind of response but got none. *Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing
gained.* "Why did the biscuit cry?"
"Because his mother was a wafer so long," Ukyo snapped, turning on him. "If you want to make me laugh, go
and jump in the spring of drowned lemming, then find a brick wall to hurl yourself off!" She stomped off,
leaving him standing there, baffled.
"OK, so that didn't work." He pulled out the scroll and read the next step. "Step two, if you can't push,
pull. A woman spurned is a woman intrigued. Hmmm..." Looking around him, he spotted a familiar face.
"Hey, Ryoko!"
The space pirate turned around. "Yes?"
"How would you like to make Tenchi jealous?"

Ryoko was getting a little _too_ into her role, Ryoga deduced, as she slung her arms around his neck and
purred in his ear. "Why so shy, darling?" she teased.
"It's only an act, you don't have to glomp me," he whispered back. *I get enough of that from Chinese
amazons!*
Ryoko ignored him, then suddenly tightened her grip. The reason soon became clear. "Hi Tenchi!" 
"Ryoko! ...Ryoga!" Tenchi looked from one to the other. 
"Could you tell Sasami not to make me any tea?" Ryoko asked, nuzzling Ryoga's neck. "We're going out to
dinner."
"Oh. I didn't know you two were a couple...?" Tenchi said, smiling vaguely.
"We've been dating for simply aaaaages," Ryoko lied. She dug her nails into Ryoga's arm. "_Haven't_ we,
honeybunch?!"
"Uh... yeah. Yeah!" Ryoga gave up trying to loosen her grip. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed?"
"Welllll... you two have fun," Tenchi said, backing away. He turned and ran.
Ryoko collapsed into giggles. "Oh, the look on his face!!" 
Ryoga turned slowly. "Uh... I think I understand why he ran..."
Ryoko turned as well. Behind them, stood Ukyo with a battle aura that could put Rudolf out of business.
Ryoko backed away, leaving Ryoga to face the music. "There's... uh...someplace I have to be..."
Ukyo held her spatula menacingly. "You... you... CASANOVA!"
"W-wait, Ucchan, I can explain!"
"What's there to explain?!" she hissed. "You say you're in love with Akane, you're stringing along
Mihoshi, you kiss Shampoo, you date Skuld, you're having a secret affair with your ENGLISH TEACHER and
now you're dating Ryoko too??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ryoga stared at her in amazement. "WHAAAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"DRY UP AND DIE, YOU TOTAL JACKASS!!!"
*CLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG*
"Nice angle," Ryoko observed. Ukyo turned the evil eye on her. Then a look of fear crossed her face
before she ran for the hills. 
With a sense of extreme foreboding, Ryoko turned around to see Mihoshi standing behind her. "Hello
Ryoko."
"Uh... I can explain, Mihoshi! Really!" Ryoko backed away.
Mihoshi gave her a saccharin sweet smile. "Don't bother. JUST DIE!!"

Genma and Ranma were sparring above the pond. For once, neither of them seemed to gain the upper hand.
Kasumi popped her head around the doorway. "Ranma, Mr Saotome, dinner is ready."
The two martial artists landed at opposite sides of the pond. "Be right there!" Ranma called.
"I think this the first time you've called those two in from a practise and neither of them has gotten
wet," Akane observed.
"....aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*SPLAAAAAAAAAAASH*
"You had ta say that, didn't you," Ranma-chan grumbled, wringing water out of her shirt. She reached into
the pond and dragged a semi-conscious Ryoga-chan out by her collar. "Yo, Ryoga! What happened?"
Ryoga-chan glared at her. "Step Two. Backfired." She coughed. "I mean, REALLY backfired."
"Ouch," Ranma said sympathetically. "So it's Step Three then, show her that you need her." He grinned.
"Akane can cook you dinner, then I'll slam you back to Ucchan's."
"Ugh. Haven't I suffered enough already?" she groaned.
"No." Ranma smiled sweetly. "So how's things going with Hinako?"
"Curl up and die, Saotome. I..." Ryoga-chan stopped in mid-rant, her eyes widening, before jumping to her
feet and grabbing Ranma's sleeve. "Has Hinako seen your female form yet?"
Ranma thought for a moment. "No. Why?"
Ryoga-chan grinned slyly. "I think I've just worked out how to get those pressure points without us
looking like total perverts..."

Skuld, hangover now completely vanished, watched her elder sister as she sorted through a variety of
powders, potions and poisons. "Aha!" Urd cried, finally triumphant as she held up a bag of pale peach
powder. "Found it!"
"What is it?"
The elder goddess smiled happily. "It's an affection powder. When Ukyo returns, we toss a small bit of it
at her so she inhales it, then she'll have heightened feelings of affection for the next man she sees.
That way, she'll stop beating him up at every available opportunity. And when she realises how much fun
they both have when they're being nice to each other, she won't _need_ the powder."
Skuld frowned. "Are you sure it's a good idea? Magically aided love affairs in Nerima fail 94% of the
time."
Urd snorted. "87% of statistics are made up on the spot." She spun around and placed her hands on Skuld's
shoulders. "Look, squirt, meddling in peoples love lives is what I do best. Trust me a little, OK?"
Skuld sighed. "I..."
"I HATE THAT _JERK_!!!"
*BANG*
With a shriek of surprise, Urd flung her hands into the air as Ukyo slammed the door violently behind
her. The bag of affection powder spiralled through the air.... until it struck the wall and exploded.

End Part VI

=========================
PART VII
Two's Company, Three's a Mess.
=========================

Ukyo coughed and waved her hands, trying to fend away the peach cloud enveloping her. "What the hell _IS_
this stuff?!!!"
*Ohshitohshitohshit!!!* Urd hyperventilated. She charged through the rapidly dispersing cloud to her
collection of magical goods. "Everybody, stay calm!!!"
*CRASH*
Ryoga landed (amidst most of the roof and ceiling) in an untidy heap on the floor. "Owww... Ranma, your
aim's off!"
The three girls stood stock-still for a moment, until the powder took full control. "Ryoga, you poor
thing! What happened to you?!" Urd cried in horror. "I'll go get the first aid kit," she cried,
vanishing.
Ukyo smiled at him. "Come on sweetie. I'll make you an okonomiyaki."
Ryoga blinked in amazement. *Wow! Step Three... actually seems to be working!!!*
"Drink?" offered a voice over his shoulder.
"Thanks!" Climbing painfully to his feet, he accepted the glass of orange juice from Skuld's outstretched
hands and took a swig. "Hey!" He peered at the contents suspiciously, then at Skuld. "This isn't orange
juice - it's Bucks Fizz! Are you trying to get me drunk?" he half-teased.
Skuld grinned and dragged him into the small living room and over to the sofa. "Yep. Then I shall take
compromising photographs of you and send them to as many international newspapers as I can. Of course,"
she added, "we'll have to sort out those injuries." She leaned towards him as close as possible,
pretending to examine the slight damage remaining from the air trip across town. *Careful now... don't
want to be too obvious,* she warned herself.
Urd re-entered the room with the speed and grace of a small tornado, settling down on the other side of
Ryoga. Skuld glared at her. "I'm guessing you have some kind of _reason_ for changing into a nurse's
outfit, eh, onee-chan?"
Urd pretended to look hurt. "Just getting into the mood."
"I'll bet!"
Ryoga looked at the two goddesses with a growing feeling of unease. "Well, I'm feeling much better," he
began in a falsely cheerful voice. "So why don't I just leave you two ladies here..."
"NO!!!"
Ryoga backed as far into the sofa as he could with a small squeak of fright as two angry faces filled his
line of vision. "Just a suggestion!"
Ukyo bounced into the room, okonomiyaki held aloft like a trophy. Her eyes scanned the sofa, which Urd
and Skuld were doing there best to fill. *Oh well... I'll just sit...* She sat down on Ryoga's lap.
"Here!"
This was just TOO strange, even on a normal day. Poor Ryoga vacated his seat so fast he managed a small
sonic boom. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!?!!!?!!!?!!!" he yelled, face beet-red and heart pounding. "Have you
gone INSANE?!!?!!"
Ukyo pouted. "I was just trying to make up for being such a grouch earlier."
Ryoga continued to back away. "Great. That's wonderful. I forgive you, so now you can go back to behaving
like you normally do."
"Would you _rather_ I beat you senseless?" Ukyo asked sweetly.
"Uh... no?"
Blossoms of innocence bloomed around Ukyo as she advanced on him. "So sit down and eat. I won't bite,"
she teased. A crafty glint appeared in her eyes. "Unless you want me to..."
*THUMP*BANG*
The plate of okonmiyaki bounced across the floor, much to Ryoga's dismay. "I was hungry!"
Urd removed her elbow from the top of Ukyo's head. "I'll make you some food!"
Ukyo pushed Skuld's long handled mallet away from her skull and stepped in front of the tall goddess.
"He's MY fiancee, I'LL cook for him!"
"Like hell you will!"
"Watch me!!"
*What is _with_ those two...?* Ryoga cast a wary glance at Skuld. "You haven't gone peculiar as well,
have you?"
Skuld smiled. "Peculiar? _Moi_?" *This is my chance!* She linked her arm through his. "Why don't we get
out of the firing line and I'll show you my latest weapon for mass demon destruction, eh?"
"Sounds good," Ryoga agreed. *Sounds normal. Sounds... safe.* 
Skuld grinned evilly at the kitchen where the sound effects from World War III could currently be heard
and herded Ryoga out of the room.

Ukyo eyed Urd's cooking with distaste. "You actually think he'll _willingly_ eat that stuff?!" she asked
scornfully. "If I were him, I'd eat Kodachi's cooking before that slop."
Urd gritted her teeth and looked at the.... a word has yet to be invented to describe what she'd created
- to call it food would be blasphemy. She had to admit, it didn't look good. In fact, it didn't even look
remotely edible. Then she smirked. *I'll just have to find some _other_ way to knock his socks off!* She
patted Ukyo on the shoulder. "You're right. I'll go and send Ryoga in, OK?"
Ukyo nodded and looked at the meal she was carefully preparing. "I hope he likes it..."
"I'm sure he will," Urd reassured her, looking at the perfect wakatakejiru, the perfect teriyaki chicken,
the perfect... need I go on? *Pity he won't get to eat it!*

"So where's this new weapon?"
Skuld blinked. "What new weapon?" she asked innocently.
Ryoga frowned and spoke slowly. "The new weapon you wanted to show me...?"
"Oh yeah." Skuld looked thoughtful, then smiled sweetly. "I lied."
"Bwah?!" Ryoga gaped at her. "W-why?!"
"To get you alone, of course," Skuld explained matter-of-factly. Impulsively, she hugged him. "I love
you," she whispered.
Ryoga's brain almost self-destructed, except for one thought. *If Ucchan catches us, she'll murder us
both!* He wriggled away hurriedly. "What's going on? Is this some kind of trick?" As far as he knew, it
wasn't April 1st.
"After all the time we've spent together... you don't feel anything too???" Skuld's eyes filled with
tears. "Y-you d-don't like me???"
"B-b-but...." Ryoga didn't have the faintest clue how to handle crying girls - especially crying girls
who'd just proclaimed their love for him. *Help...* He inched forward warily. "I-I _do_ like you, Skuld,
but-" 
*GLOMP*
"OooohyouDOcareI'msohappythisisthebestdayofmyentireLIFE..." Skuld wailed into his shirt.
*Dear God, I swear if you get me out of this, I'll never ask for anything more in my entire life...
except for a couple of favours every now and again,* Ryoga's mind babbled.
Urd chose that moment to enter the room, dressed in one of her spectacular outfits that showed off
maximum skin and almost killed Ryoga on the spot. "SKULD???!"
Skuld gulped. "...Hi?"
Urd grabbed her little sister by the collar and forcefully dragged her away from the new love of her
life, who was still paralysed. "You little BRAT, what d'you think you're playing at?!?!?!"
"Don't call me a brat!" Skuld retorted. "I'm not some kind of little kid, you know!"
Urd grabbed Ryoga by the arm and yanked him towards the door. "Go play with your dolls. You're still too
young to be thinking about boys."
Skuld grabbed hold of his other arm and pulled. "He's MINE!! I was here FIRST!!"
"Back off, runt!"
"Let go of him!"
"In your dreams!!!"
"YOU'RE PULLING MY ARMS OFF!!!"
Both goddesses stepped back, looking slightly guilty. "Sorry."
Ryoga looked at them both. "What's going on?" He peered at them closely. "Have you two been to the
Nekohanten lately?"
"No," they replied simultaneously. 
"Then what's the story?" he questioned uneasily.
Urd launched herself at him. "We just think you deserve better." She grinned. "Like me."
Skuld yanked her sister by her hair and stepped around her. "Forget that geriatric old woman, I'll show
you a much better time," she boasted.
"GERIACTRIC OLD WOMAN?!!!!!!!!!" Urd's face was contorted with fury. "WHY... YOU..."
"OWWWEOWWW!!!!! LET GO OF MY _HAIR!!!!!_"
"MAKE ME, BABY!!!!"
"YOU WITHERED OLD _WITCH!!!!_"
Ryoga took the opportunity to slip out of the door, praying that neither of them spotted him. *This is
very bad... Very Bad...* He groaned quietly. *This sort of thing's supposed to happen to Ranma, dammit!
Not me!*
"Ryoga-honey? What's wrong?" Ukyo blinked at him. "What are you doing on the ceiling?" Ryoga flushed
crimson and slid down from the perch he'd jumped up to, courtesy of complete and total surprise. Ukyo
merely looked nonplussed. "I made you some dinner. Wanna try it?" She grinned cutely.
"......I-I..."
"Great!" She clapped her hands in glee. "I'll just go and get changed, OK? You wait here for me,
Ryoga-sweetie!"
"Ryoga!"
"There you are!!" Urd and Skuld ran out into the hallway and glomped him. "Why'd you run away, you big
silly??" Urd pouted.
Flames engulfed Ukyo and she clenched her fists tightly. Slowly, the other three looked at her.
"W-wait, Ucchan, please! I-i-it's not what it looks like, I swear!" Ryoga protested desperately, seeing
her reach for her monster spatula. *Like begging for mercy ever worked in the past!* a small but very
scathing voice commented in the back of his mind.
"YOU LITTLE....." 
He closed his eyes tightly. *Why can I never do _anything_ right...?*
"....TRAMPS!!!"
*CLANG*CLANG*
Ryoga's eyes flew open in astonishment. "Wha...?"
Ukyo glared through her two new skylights. "AND DON'T COME BACK, YOU TARTS!!!!!!!" She whipped around,
then lowered her spatula in surprise. "Ryoga-honey? What d'you look so scared for?"
Ryoga looked at her cautiously. "Y-you mean you're not going to hit me?"
"What for? It's hardly your fault those two have no self control." With that, she bounced into her room,
giving him a little wave. "Don't go anywhere!"
He waved back numbly. *I know Nerima's turned into the Twilight Zone recently, but this is just
ridiculous!!*

Urd clambered wearily out of the canal and spat out a few mouthfuls of rancid water. *Bitch bitch
bitch... when I get hold of that okonomiyaki cow, I swear I'll make her <expletive> <expletive>
<anatomical description>....*
"Urd! There you are!" Skuld limped over to her elder sister. "Are you OK?"
Urd reached up and stretched her cheeks a la Presea of MKR. "Is this the mouth that called me a Geriatric
Old Woman? What do _you_ want?!"
Skuld narrowed her eyes. "Maybe I should just hit you and turn your brain-cell back on. Think!" She sat
down next to Urd. "There's two of us and one Ukyo. If we work together, we can get rid of her."
"And when we do?" Urd crossed her arms. "I'll tell you now, there's no way I'm sharing Ryoga with anyone,
even if you help eliminate the competition."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, we need a plan..."

"Hey, Ucchan! This looks great!" Ryoga eyed the meal hungrily. "Not okonomiyaki?"
Ukyo pretended to look hurt. "I _can_ cook things other than okonomiyaki, y'know."
"Actually, I didn't know. The last time you tried to prove it to me, you slammed me across town before I
could taste anything," Ryoga reminded her, wincing at the memory.
Ukyo turned several shades of red and examined the floor as if it were the most amazing thing she'd ever
focused her baby blues on. "I-I-I'm sorry about that..."
*THUMP* (This is the sound of Ryoga painfully facefaulting.)
"Oh, do get up, dinner'll get cold," Ukyo chirped cheerfully. She quickly adjusted her (surprisingly
feminine) outfit to the best effect.
Ryoga picked himself up and settled down, watching Ukyo carefully for any sign of normality. *Maybe she's
planning to poison me... or get my guard down before turning me into mulch _again_.* He took a tentative
bite of teriyaki chicken and waited for his tastebuds to commit mass suicide. *OK, so it's good,* he
admitted, taking another bite, slightly unnerved by the way Ukyo was staring at him, like he was a bowl
of strawberries and cream. Hmm... no, now that he thought about it, she was staring at him as if she was
Doctor Tofu and he was Kasumi. Definitely unnerving.
*Knock*Knock*
Ukyo's eye's transformed instantly from hearts to daggers. "If that's Skuld or Urd, I'll <disgusting
anatomical description> and <expletive> <expletive> them both!!" Ryoga winced as she marched over to the
door and slid it open. "What the hell do you want?!!?!!" she snarled, annoyed at the interruption of her
dinner party.
"Is that really any way to great your old man?" 
Ukyo's jaw attempted to make it's way to the centre of the earth but was fortunately stopped by the
intervention of the floor. "Daddy?!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!" 
Mr Kuonji stepped around his dazed daughter and quickly made himself at home. "Hello. You must be Ryoga,
right?" he enquired pleasantly, helping himself to the food. Ryoga nodded numbly.
Ukyo finally managed to snap herself out of her paralysed state. "What are you doing here, Daddy?"
Mr Kuonji dabbed his mouth with a napkin. "Can't I visit my little girl once in a while?" He grinned at
her. "I haven't heard from you since that productive phone call a while ago." He paused a second, before
tactfully adding: "I thought I'd come and give you a subtle kick in the rear. Your mother and I are
wondering when you two crazy kids are going to tie the knot and make us grandparents."
Ryoga fell off his chair, hitting his head on the floor. "B-b-but we... I m-mean, we're n-not... t-that
is..." he stammered, climbing back into his chair and gazing beseechingly at Ukyo for support.
Ukyo smiled sweetly at her father. "What about New Years Eve? Then we have a good reason for throwing a
giant party every year."
"WHAT??????????" Ryoga gaped at her in shock, falling off his chair again. He quickly jumped back onto
his feet and continued to voice his protest. "B-b-but... but..." OK, _attempt_ to voice his protest.
Ukyo gave him her best kawaii grin and looped her arms around his neck. "That's OK with you, right
Ryoga-sweetie?" she purred, snuggling against him, sending his brain into nuclear meltdown.
"......I-I-I.... b-b-but I-I...." He gave up and gazed helplessly into space. *Does she _really_ want to
marry me? What if she doesn't and it's some kind of magic potion? She'd kill me when it wears off!* He
melted even further when she increased the wattage of her smile. *B-b-but what i-if she kinda sort of
likes me really and DOES want to get m-m-mu-m...* "D-d-do y-y-y-y-you r-r-really m-m-m-m-mean it,
Ucchan?" he asked weakly. 
"Of COURSE I do, you big silly!" With that, she leaned up and brushed her lips oh-so-gently against
his...

End Part VII

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kai-Chan
Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponry Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
____/\____________________________
|___||_____________________________\
    \/
Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !
"I just went to Germany, and all I got was this lousy sig!"