Black Rose, Blue Thunder:
An Altered Blooper Reel

By: Dreiser


Blooper #1: Tendos, Meet Trouble


Akane: (Has a dimwitted look on her face. Heaves a happy sigh.) 
There isn't enough love in the world.

Nabiki: (Stares at Akane.) I still can't get used to this.

Ranma: (Stares at Akane.) Me neither. It's just damn eerie.

Kodachi: (Stares at Akane.) Are you sure the author didn't 
put her on some sort of drug to make her so amiable?

Kasumi: (Enters the room carrying a tray.) I give her the prozac 
daily. It seems to helping with the author's plans.

Nabiki, Ranma, Kodachi: (Look at Kasumi.) You did this?!

Kasumi: (Sets down tray. Looks up and smiles.) Why, yes. I 
happen to consider medicine as something of a hobby. I could 
prescribe some medicine to help you just like I've helped Akane. 
Would you like that?

Nabiki, Ranma, Kodachi: (Eyes wide.) NO!!


Blooper #2: Splash! Jusenkyo Away


Shampoo: (Hard stare.) <I banish you from... err.> (She pauses to 
sweatdrop.) <What are you doing Mu-tsu?> 

Mousse-chan: (Splashing haplessly around in the Jusenkyo spring.) 
<Help! I can't swim! Rescue me, Xian-pu! I have so much to live 
for with me having the body of a really hot girl now!>

Shampoo: (Sweatdrops.) <Why me?>


Blooper #3: The Plight of a Pixie


Perfume: (Closes her eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens her eyes.) 
@&#^&!@&^%!@#!!###!!!%^$^$^@@!!!!

Kasumi: (Frowns. Clears her throat.) Bleep! Bleepity bleep bleep 
bleep! And bleep your bleep in the bleep! Then you can bleep it up 
your bleep in the bleep! You bleep bleep bleeper! In bleep!

Perfume: (Looks at Kasumi in awe. Suddenly is on her knees and 
hangs onto Kasumi's ankles.) Airen! I not worthy!


Blooper #4: Reunited, and It Feels So Good


(Long pan shot of Furinkan High School. Suddenly a loud 
explosion sounds and out of a huge mushroom cloud of smoke a 
truck with the words 'Akane-chan's Volunteer Biohazard Unit' 
comes blazing out of the building.)

Random student: (Eyes wide.) It looks like Akane-chan's cooking 
has improved from last year.

Random student #2: (Nods dumbly.) Looks like.


Blooper #5: Engaging the Clueless


Nabiki: (Exasperated.) You have him tied up. (She pauses to stare 
at a purple faced Ryoga.) Uhm... is he supposed to look like that?

Genma: (Dismissive.) He'll be fine. He can breathe out of his nose. 
Can't you, boy? 

Ryoga: (Rapidly shakes his head no.) Mzumph!!

Nabiki: (Sweatdrops. Looks to Akane and Kasumi.) Are you sure 
that you two don't want to marry him?

Akane & Kasumi: (Firm tones.) It's your turn!


Blooper #6: Everyone Wants Some Chocolate Mousse


(Chocolate falls from the skylight onto Hayami Ichiro. All the boys 
stare wide eyed at the drop dead gorgeous girl before they all 
pounce on her and ripped pieces of clothes start flying into the air.)

Chocolate: (Outraged shriek.) This isn't how the scene is supposed 
to be going!! Stop filming! Stop filming!!


Blooper #7: Lightning Strikes!


(Lightning strikes the elfin Ranma for the 16,789,341 time since 
they first started filming this episode.)

Kodachi: (Looks at the smoking Ranma who has a glazed look in 
her eyes.) I think we may have destroyed whatever she had left of 
a brain, my dearest author.

Ranma: (Eyes are still glazed over and smoke curls rise from the 
top of her blonde head.) Bippity bip bip...


Blooper #8a: Hospitalizing Idiots


(A huge crowd of attacking students run at Shampoo. She quickly 
takes the creature handed to her and puts it on her head. The 
students jump on Shampoo and start pummeling her in rapid 
succession. Surprisingly, Shampoo is losing the fight.)

Shampoo: (Muffled shout.) Stop scene! This not the right chicken! 
Someone give Shampoo the wrong prop!!


Blooper #8b: Hospitalizing Idiots


Ukyo: (Blearily demands.) C'mon! Sing it again for me, will ya? It'll 
really make my day a little bit brighter!

(The okonomiyaki elves or spatula sprites all heave a giant sigh as 
the look at the drunken Ukyo.)

Okonomiyaki elf #12: (Reluctant.) We might as well.

Spatula sprite #34: (Shrugs.) What harm will it do?

Elf/Sprite leader: (Annoyed.) All right! Lets just get this over with 
and maybe Ukyo will finally go to sleep!

(The elves/sprites all clear their throats in succession.)

Elves/Sprites: (Sing.) Ohhhhhh! We represent the lollipop guild, the 
lollipop guild...


Episode #9: Handcuffs and Headshrinkers

(Akane has just handcuffed herself to Chocolate Mousse while the 
other girl had her eyes closed while anticipating a kiss from the 
always kawaii Akane.)

Chocolate: (Looks at the handcuffs. Grins widely. Pounces on 
Akane.) I'm so glad that you like the kinky stuff too!


Blooper #10: Peal, Bakers Peal


This entire section is censored due to the content involving the 
scenes with the following pairings...

1) Kodachi/Nabiki
2) Chocolate Mousse/Akane
3) Kodachi/Ranma

Blame it on horny characters and an author's over active 
imagination if you must.

Ranma: (Scowls.) Lousy author. And we even got some way sexy 
action goin' on in this chapter too.

Kodachi: (Smirks.) Perhaps. But she cannot do anything to us if 
we're off screen, can she darling?

Ranma: (Returns the smirk.) Good idea. I'll grab Akane and 
Chocolate while you snag Nabchan.

Kodachi: (Exits.) This shall prove most entertaining.

Nabiki: (Off screen. Yelps.) Hey! Don't touch that!

Kodachi: (Off screen. Purrs.) You didn't say that last night...

Ranma: (Exits wearing a smirk.) Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun all 
right. Sometimes it's good to be censored.


The End

All characters from this spamfiction are from my Ranma fanfic 
Black Rose, Blue Thunder. Blame this piece of pure spam silliness 
on boredom and too many weird ideas piling up in my head all at 
one time.

To send donations for my brain medicine you can e-mail me at: 
Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com

Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780 

Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm

"They can't be gone!  We haven't even had a chance to 
screw them yet!"
-Saotome Kitten; Realities Squared by Jim Robert Bader-