Yet another bit of fluff...


Disclaimer: I hate Sentai.

             The Great Gearhead War

     The sky was darkened by storm clouds, but the warriors paid it
no heed. The lines were drawn, and no quarter would be given by these
most bitter of enemies. One side would fall, and only the strongest
would survive.

     The Sentai faced the Mecha, and the world would never be the same.

     First into the fray were the Gundam GMs, flanked by the Zakus and
Rik Doms. Swarming over the battlefield, leaping from hilltop to
hilltop
in their eagerness to destroy their foes. Rifle-shaped autocannons, 
huge rockets, and sixteen meter panzerfausts rained high velocity death
against the grotesque mockeries ahead.

     Despite this hail of projectiles, the Sentai stood. Small, fake
explosions detonated on the surface of their mecha. Each one, from the 
GoRangers to the ZyuRangers, prepared for their primary attack, and 
unleashed. Cyclones of whirling death in the form of immense swords of 
unknown alloys scythed through their ranks, decimating the rank and
file 
mobile suits. They died as befitted their role, to show the horror of
war.

     Behind them, however, lay a more dangerous foe. An entire wing of 
Veritechs launched their long range missiles, backed up by the
sustained 
fire of every single true Gundam in existance. The Nu-Gundam and 
PyschoGundam rained particle beam death on the Sentai. Two of the minor
Sentai mecha exploded under the combined firepower arrayed against
them,
but many more still stood. Coming up with new weapons on the spot, they
then obliterated many of the veritechs, and all but a handful of the 
Gundams.

     This, however, paved the way for the next wave from the Mecha.
Racing 
at incredible speeds on their roller-dashes, thousands upon thousands
of 
Armored Troopers raced to their enemy. Running behind, in a staggered
delta 
formation, was the Combat Armor Dougram, and all the other Combat
Armors 
of the entire series. The smoke clouds of missiles and rockets from
these 
war machines hid them from the view of their enemies, until it was too 
late, and they were upon them. Not used to these guerilla tactics,
several 
more Sentai fell. The augmented punches of the Armored Troopers
ruptured 
ankle and calf armor, often destroying one of the componant sections of

the Sentai in the proccess. Meanwhile, the Dougram mecha were launching

point-blank, high caliber weapons at critical joints and weak points, 
devastating even more Sentai. 

     Before these vicious tactics could take a toll, however, the
infamous 
swords, and talons came out, using impossible, yet effective, maneuvers
to 
destroy their militaristic foes. Gears, hydraulic fluid, and plexiglass

canopies flew everywhere as the Sentai took vengeance for their fallen 
comrades.

     Now was the time for the Sentai to take the offensive. Charging
forward, 
they plowed into a battle line of Macross destroids, from all
generations. 
One particularly unlucky Sentai skidded to a halt between a MAC II
Monster, 
and its more powerful successor from Macross II. The heroic 'mecha'
lasted 
all of one volley before crumbling to nothingness. Down the line,
however, 
it was a different story. The walking tanks were too slow to be able to

defend themselves properly against the onrushing enemy, and were
eradicated. 
Eventually, that area of the field was silent.

     Too silent.

     Out of nowhere, the entire First Easter Mirage Corps manifested. 
Forty Mirage mecha, each one armed with the devastating flame launcher,

surrounded the now trapped Sentai. Superheated plasma evaporated the
lead 
Sentai, before it began to burn its way through to the remainder.

     "Enough!" exlaimed one team leader. "Form Ultra Giant Mega Cosmo
Robo!"

     The remaining Sentai robos looked at each other, and nodded,
striking 
extremely silly poses. All action stopped, to make way for the
transformation 
sequence. Robots folded and contorted, sections expanded, and others
simply
vanished. When the sequence was done, the kilometer tall Ultra Giant
Mega 
Cosmo Robo struck a ridiculously heroic pose, one fist raised to the
sky.

     "Geez, I hate these guys," muttered one mechajock.

     Spinning around with the combined armament of the Sentai Horde,
the 
Mirage units began to fall back. Realizing the better part of valor,
most 
launched off into deep space. However, the Robo was right behind them. 
There, an immense fleet waited for just such an occasion. Breetai's
flagship 
sat alongside the Arcadia of Harlock, and the battleship Yamato. The 
combined firepower of the fleet unloaded on the Ultra Giant Mega Cosmo
Robo, 
which plowed forward despite the incredible punishment it was
recieving.

     "Don't they know that only giant robots can defeat giant robots?
It's 
one of the laws of Anime and Sentai physics...I think," asked one
Sentai 
team member, as the Robo cut a swath of destruction through the once
proud 
fleet.

     A transmission came over their headsets. "Giant Ultra Mega Cosmo
Robo, 
surrender now, or be destroyed." They just laughed, seeing only a
single 
starship, a mile long, approaching them. Their laughter subsided, when
it 
began to transform. The two carriers attached to its side rotated
forwards 
like huge arms, the entire bow of the ship split, and mounted itself on
the 
shoulders. Its engines likewise split, and extended, forming legs. And,
the 
bridge rotated to become the head.

     "Fire main reflex cannon!" came the order. Energy danced between
the 
branches of the bow, then erupted forth as an unstoppable wave of
energy. 
Nothing could withststand the complete and utter rupture in reality
this 
raw power generated. In seconds, nothing remained of the Sentai.

     Though the losses had been heavy, the victory was complete. Never 
more would the abominations tarnish the name of good honest mecha.
Never 
more would children be exposed to smarmy, condescending plots and
ridiculous 
monsters. At last, true mecha could shine in the sun.

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