In a Rut
(A Ranma 1/2 Alt History)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http://members.tripod.com/~Ammadeau/fanfiction.htm

Dark and twisted, with a touch of lime.  Not to be taken seriously.  Written by my personal imp of peverse.
Also has the most tags of any story I've ever written.

	Ranma's life was in a rut.  His father would wake him up in 
the morning with a bucket of cold water and an insistence that they 
train.  Ranma would yell for being turned into a girl yet again and 
boot her father through the wall and into the koi pond in the yard.  
She would go into the bathroom, walk in on Akane, and get 
slammed into the wall for being a pervert.  After Akane finally left 
the bath, she would regain her masculinity (for this I mean 
Ranma), and head down to breakfast, where his father was already 
hard at work eating more that most third worlders would in a 
month.  Ranma would have to face whatever concoction Akane 
had chosen to make that morning, though she had become more 
creative lately by avoiding ingredients that were actually food.  
Ranma could not win, if he ate it then he would be poisoned, that 
much was always sure, and if he didn't Akane would go into one of 
her frequent rages and do something painful and sometimes 
impossible to him.  Whatever the result, Kasumi would serve him a 
new breakfast with a smile.  Ranma would defend his own 
breakfast from Genma, using the chopsticks as weapons, but 
avoiding drawing blood as this tended to upset Kasumi.
	Then Ranma and Genma would be out in the yard where 
they would use all of their skills of martial arts against each other.  
Weapons they did not use, as weapons were for the weak.  Why 
did Ranma need a knife when he could kill just as easily with his 
bare hands?  Ranma felt a trace of guilt fighting his father in 
human form.  This was, after all, the man who had raised him into 
what he was.  He could only cripple or maim, snapping bones like 
matchsticks, that was until Genma was dunked into the pond.  
Fighting a panda, Ranma felt no need to hold back.  It would only 
be minutes before the beast was dead, it's neck bent at an unnatural 
angle, the flies already circling the blood on it's matted fur.  
Somehow pop always managed to knock Ranma into the koi pond 
as well, triggering the transformation, which would drive the boy 
into a rage and he would beat on the corpse until it was almost 
wholly unrecognizable.
	Due to hot water thoughtfully provided by Kasumi, he was 
male again and ushered off to school with Akane arrogantly 
leading the way, her glare firmly in place for what had happened 
that morning, even though it had been happening every morning 
for the past year.  He took to the fence and it wasn't long before a 
certain bicycle knocked him off of it, driven by a certain 
voluptuous Amazon.  Shampoo would land the bike right on 
Ranma, knocking him from the fence, and causing bruises that 
fortunately wouldn't last long.  Sometimes her aim was off and 
Ranma landed in the canal.  One time he had landed on a broken 
metal pipe sticking out of the water.  Having that protrude from his 
chest hadn't been a pleasant experience.
	Shampoo would, of course, glomp him strong enough to 
bruise his ribs, she had learned to hold back on breaking them, 
while Ranma would struggle to get away.  Not that he had anything 
against the attention that she paid him, only wishing that she wasn't 
quite so rough, it was the timebomb on two legs that had been with 
him that was his cause of worry.
	Akane would yell something incoherent, her face red with 
rage, as she booted the two of them into the canal, sometimes, 
when she was in a particularly bad mood, through the fence.  
Ranma would become a she, Shampoo would become a cat.  
Shampoo would now try to kill female-Ranma and Ranma would 
eventually flip out, slip into the neko-ken, and tear Shampoo to 
pieces.
	Ranma would snap back to herself as Akane roughly 
dragged her out of the canal, the blood and gore from Shampoo's 
violent demise washed away by the dirty water.  Quick stop at Dr. 
Tufo's and Ranma was back to being male, though he didn't see 
much point in it knowing what would happen next.  Akane, 
though, would not be seen with female-Ranma and allow the 
rumors of her being a lesbian to circulate again.  Even though she 
constantly and loudly denied having any feelings for him other 
than loathing.
	Ranma would be back on the fence again, feeling free as he 
ran along its length.  He would just start to smile before the cold 
water hit him right in the face.  Sometimes he just killed the 
washer lady outright for this.  Other times he beat her so badly that 
she couldn't move.  More of late he'd been using up all sorts of 
torture methods that he'd learned from Kodachi, if just to relieve 
the monotony.  Today he broke both her arms and legs, smeared 
her wrinkly face with honey, and dropped ants all over her.  Her 
screams went with them all the way to school.
	Ranma used the last of the water from Dr. Tufo's to become 
male again, even though he knew it wouldn't last.
	"I HATE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!"  Akane screamed like an animal 
as she charged straight into the mob of hormone-driven teenage 
males (and a few females) that waited for her.  Ranma watched half 
in admiration, half in boredom, as she reduced the mob to a pile of 
fresh corpses, again.  She was talented, he had to admit to himself 
as she watched Akane electrocute someone with their own 
boombox by smashing it over his head.  Seeing as how she wasn't 
as brutal with him, especially when she gave a hockey player a 
rectal exam with his own stick, she must really love Ranma.  Or at 
least not hold him with the same level of contempt that she 
reserved for the male population in general.
	It was only a few minutes later and the fight was over.  
Akane stood among the broken bodies, breathing heavy, blood 
smearing her torn and dirty uniform.  Ranma would walk over to 
her and with an animal snarl, she'd pounce on him, kissing him 
deeply, Ranma tasting the blood of one of the opponents that she 
had bitten.  It was just as Ranma was able to get her bra undone 
that Kuno always strode into view.
	In looking up 'arrogance' in the dictionary, one would not 
find a picture of the kendoist in question, bokken in one hand, rose 
in the other, but it could be placed there with ease.  "What are you 
doing to the fair Akane Tendo, spawn of Satan?"
	Onlookers often wondered if the last bit was referring to 
Ranma or Akane.  They kept it to themselves, however, not 
wanting to risk upsetting the two homicidal martial artists.
	Ranma couldn't respond to Kuno's question, mainly 
because Akane's tongue was in the way.  Instead, he decided to 
reach under Akane's shirt for a quick feel, not that there was much 
to feel in comparison with Shampoo, or even his girl form for that 
matter.  Normally he would say this out loud, as he did when 
virtually any thought occurred to him, however, he couldn't for the 
same reason he couldn't answer Kuno.  Besides, it would only 
make it more likely that Akane would bite his tongue off.
	This would drive Kuno into a noble rage and he would raise 
up his bokken to strike down the devil Ranma Saotome.  Before 
his bokken could reach the pair of exhibitionists however, Ranma 
was up and moving.  While Akane was hastily adjusting her much-
abused uniform, Ranma was busy breaking every bone in Kuno's 
body, one by one.  It only got worse when Ranma was somehow 
splashed and Kuno's previous cries of pain became cries of ecstasy, 
as if each new wound was another sign of love from his pig-tailed 
goddess.  Sick bastard, Ranma thought.
	Ranma stared down at Kuno's twitching form, as he had 
many times before, when Akane smacked him on the head, took 
his hand, and dragged him off to school, complaining, "Baka!  You 
take too long with him!  I don't want to be late for school!"
	A few minutes later, they were both in class, looking no 
worse for wear, despite all of their before school activities.  School 
was boring and tedious for Ranma.  He slept through whatever he 
could.  At least he could count on being male for the majority of 
the time there.
	Then came lunch.  Ukyo immediately appeared with the 
offer of food that Ranma consumed greedily.  Akane would appear 
with her own brand of 'food' and try to force feed him, no matter 
how many times her calmly explained that her food made dog shit 
look like a gourmet meal and the taste was even less satisfying 
than rotting maggots.  She always got mad and did something 
painful and possibly lethal to her fianc�.  Ukyo had the sense to 
stay out of their way, usually.
	The walk home after school was always interrupted by 
Mousse yelling vengeance on Ranma for killing his beloved 
Shampoo.  Sometimes Ranma ended up with some very nasty cuts 
from fighting Mousse, but he still always won in the end, this time 
by strangling the half-blind boy with his own hair.  Akane, not 
interested in a fight that she had seen many times before, had 
already gone one home.
	Soun would meet Ranma at the door, doing that demon 
thing of his because he had upset his precious little girl.  The attack 
was pretty devastating, but it didn't last long.  Ranma was still able 
to break both of Soun's legs.  He would've done more, but he felt 
tired and besides, he had really nothing against the old man.
	Ranma would seek out his bed, ignoring everyone.  He was 
always woken up by the untimely arrival of Ryoga, swearing 
vengeance on Ranma for his latest misdeed, which usually had 
something to do with Akane.  Sometimes the lost boy skipped the 
explanation and went right to the fighting.  They were pretty 
evenly matched and would be able to cripple each other badly 
without getting to the point that it was life-threatening.  Their 
matches always ended up in the koi pond, however.  Akane would 
always snatch away 'P-chan' before Ranma could land the killing 
blow.
	Then came a round of exploitation by Nabiki.  She'd take 
naked pictures of his female form, then change him back to male to 
extract sexual favors.  Sometimes she didn't change him back.  She 
always had some piece of blackmail to hold over his head, the 
more juicy the dirt, the worse the exploitation.  She had once 
rented him out as the 'date' for the entire Furinkan cheerleading 
squad.
	Until finally, he could go to bed and sleep.

	"Oh, Ranma," called a soft voice from the doorway.
	Ranma opened blood-shot eyes to see Kasumi in her black 
dominatrix outfit, twirling a whip in her hands.
	"Not again,"  was all that he could say.


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