C&C is most welcome.

Oh, good.  :)

C&C-seekers, take note: pure ASCII, wrapped at 60 columns, from an
active list participant who doesn't post much spam.

That's not why I'm commenting on this, though; this puppy whacked me
between the eyeballs and made me WANT to comment... which is another way
of saying that it's a) a good story, b) to my liking, and c) needs a bit
of polishing and lots more chapters. :)

<Insert Usual Disclaimer>

OK.  All comments strictly my opinion, and offered in good spirit.

I've seen Grayson's comments, and I'll try not to overlap too much.

An Awakening of Demons
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
By Kagami

Chapter 1: Inheritance

presence. The overpowering aura was so close that Ryoga
could almost feel the hot pants of air that his hunter

{suggest} hot blasts {"hot pants" makes me think of something entirely
inappropriate. :) }

exhaled in hunger.

An oni. An ogre demon from the legends of history. How could
such a thing exist in this day and age, Ryoga thought
despairingly, and why had it sought him out? A piglet was
hardly a worthwhile prize for the malevolent beast. Then,
the demon spoke.

{Well, Ryouga's seen weirder things; I'd expect "Why ME?" rather than
"This can't be happening", if you take my meaning.}

"I have absolutely no idea," Akane muttered in reply. Ranma
could see that she was feeling just as miserable at being
forced out in such weather. He caught her eye, wondering if
she was thinking the same thing; that it probably had

{suggest, since I like colons) thing: that

something to do with the failed wedding over a month ago.

Ranma had no trouble reading his thoughts. Since the Tendo
patriarch was as much in the dark as the rest of them, the
most likely question facing him was why hadn't his old

{could} was: why

friend, Genma, told him anything?

Kasumi smiled slightly, ignoring the downpour like it was a

{suggest} downpour as though it were a

gentle, spring shower. "We'll be there in just a few more

gentle spring {comma muyo!  :) }

minutes, Nabiki. Why not wait and see?" Her obvious good
cheer perked them all up. After all, how bad could it be?
Ranma quickened his pace slightly, ignoring the loud crack
of thunder.

{HAHAH!  Well-timed thundercrack.  :) }

"Hmm?" Nodoka looked down at the sword in puzzlement as
though wondering what she was doing with it. "Oh, sorry,
dear. I totally forgot." She picked up the lacquered wooden
scabbard and sheathed the katana in one smooth motion. "I
guess I'm more nervous than I thought."

{Very Nodoka.  Her dottiness surfaces frequently.}

A brisk knock sounded, interrupting the uneasy silence that
developed. Nodoka rose and moved to answer it. Genma
tracked his wife's movement towards the door, face pensive,
but failed to follow.

{suggest, since "fail" may imply an attempt} but did not follow.

Nodoka acknowledged all the greetings and gave Ranma a brief
hug, before motioning all of them into the sitting room

hug before  {if you want a comma there, add another:} greetings, and

where Genma awaited. "Please help yourselves to the biscuits
and tea, everyone. We just need to wait for a few more
arrivals."

"The Kuno girl? Whatever for?" Nodoka furrowed her brows in
query.

"I think she believes that she's one of Ranma's fiancees."

"I see. And is she?" Nodoka asked, eyebrows twitching as she
glanced at her son and husband.

"No!" replied Ranma and Akane in unison, with Ranma
shivering involuntarily at the very thought of Kodachi Kuno
as an 'official' fiancee.

"Then, I see no reason to involve her," Nodoka said briskly.

"Then I

{Note that Nodoka met Kodachi (at the end of v36 chapter 8), and Kodachi
was quite open about her interest in Ranma; it wouldn't be a surprise to
Nodoka.}
 

A Hibiki would never go down without a fight. Even if he was
currently a defenceless pig. No, not defenceless.
Overmatched certainly, but he still had a chance. He was

Overmatched, certainly, {?}

"So, there's still fight left in you, accursed one?" the oni
rumbled in amusement. "Then, die!" it roared, launching it's

launching its

claws in a blindingly quick strike at the small, black
piglet.

From the wind slashed, rain-soaked trees, another laugh

wind-slashed,

answered it. Rising higher and higher.

---

"I'm afraid Kodachi-sama is not home currently, Tendo-san."

{suggest} not currently home, {or} not home at the moment,

Sasuke's voice echoed politely out of the telephone handset.
"I am not certain when the mistress would return."

"I see," Nabiki said pensively as she pondered her options.
There wasn't much else she could do which was a great shame.

do, which

other fiancees. Akane, she noted with amusement, had
positioned herself next to Ranma and was looking fiercely
at each of her competitors. The Chinese Amazons were on the
other side of the table next to Genma; Shampoo matching

Genma, Shampoo

glares with Akane. Ukyo sat at the end of the table.

The oni jerked his head up at the high-pitched laughter.
What foolish mortal dared to laugh at him? He was a three-
hundred year old demon, capable of crushing any mortal

three-hundred-year-old

being.

{Yeah, if they'd just hold still for a moment.  :) }

Ryoga stared at the figure in surprise. He wasn't surprised
that some girl had just jumped in to save him, rather it was

him; rather, {?}

that he knew her. More than a year ago, she had used him in
a match against Ranma. Her name, it was ...

{suggest, because of interruption} was--

"Beware, oni, for the 106th. generation Devil Hunter of the

106th {since ASCII won't do superscripts :) }

Kuno Clan, Kodachi Kuno is here! I will not permit you to
lay your hands on such an innocent animal, you commoner
demon. Ohohohohohohoho," Kodachi chortled.

{Woohoo! Go, Kodachi! I second Grayson's comments on the surprise and
delight of this revelation; more later. However, I suggest you use more
exclamation points. Kodachi and ! just go together, particularly with
her trademark laugh. :) }

The maniacal laugh sent a deadly chill down Ryoga's spine.
He could feel the sweat freezing on his skin in reaction.
Yet the demon hardly seemed intimidated. If only because he

intimidated, if {sentence fragment again}

had absolutely no idea who he was facing. Instead, the bull
ogre growled his derision and turned his bulk to face his
new opponent. Claws glittered in the waning moonlight as
corded arm muscles flexed the bitterly sharp tines.

"Stupid bitch, I'll tear you apart and then rape you!" he
snarled. "I am Hiwai Oushi, most ferocious of the Bull
Ogres and your death!"

Ogres, and

Kodachi grimaced in distaste at the demon's crudity.
"Vermin! Come then, and face the Soul-Whip of the Black

Come, then,

Rose!"

With that, the two ancient enemies leapt to do battle,

{Oi! You take that back! Kodachi's not ancient! :) Suggest} hereditary
enemies {or perhaps} natural enemies

leaving Ryoga on the sidelines and feeling unsure as to
who he'd prefer to win the battle.

{What a blockhead.  That's Ryoga, all right.  :) }

a novice?" She lunged backwards, throwing her entire weight
in an effort to unbalance the great beast. The crystal-like

into an effort {?} {also} crystalline {?}

coils around the demon's legs tightened abruptly, wrenching
the two great trunks of flesh together and sending it
crashing to the ground.

"Spear of Fuma!" she commanded. The lash straightened and
quivered into rigidity, the tip becoming a piercing needle.
Kodachi launched herself into the air, spear extended and
seeking the demon's soul. The mighty weapon arced down at
the prone oni, driven by her descending body-weight, ...

{suggest} weight-- and

and promptly missed as she was knocked out of the air by
the demon's tail. Off-balance from the blow, she slammed
into the ground hard.

She wiped the trickling blood from her lip and picked
herself up. Oushi was quickly recovering as well. Damn,
Kodachi thought, this wasn't going to be easy.

{This doesn't sound like Kodachi speaking, er, thinking; she's usually
more eloquent than this. Perhaps something like}

Curses, Kodachi thought, my enemy is tougher than I'd expected.

Words have power. That is a truth that has been acknowledged
many times over the ages. Words can create, hurt, bind or ..
. they can destroy. The old proverb about 'Sticks and stones
..' had never been more untrue than it was now.

{urk. Suggest} Words can create, hurt, bind, or even destroy. The
old proverb about sticks and stones had never been more untrue
than it was now.

"Ranma," Nodoka said, staring at her son with love and a
tinge of fear,

{"fear"? Too strong, I think. Suggest "apprehension" instead.}

"you are not the true son of my husband,
Genma."

{facefault!}

Ranma stared at his mother in shock. He felt the disbelief
ripple through him like a cold shower.

{heheh!}

 His mouth opened but
nothing emerged. He struggled to respond, to say something,
to say anything and yet he couldn't find the words.

anything, and

{I'd have been yelling "OOC!" if he COULD find the words.  :) }

Shampoo looked surprised at the announcement. She moved to
speak when Cologne placed a restraining hand on her arm. The

{suggest} speak, but stopped when Cologne

Amazon matriarch shook her head once, forbiddingly, and
struggled to hide a growing sense of elation within her at
such tidings. Years of experience told her not to count her
chickens just yet though. Much as she had restrained

yet, though.

Shampoo, she forcibly relaxed herself and sat back
awaiting further explanation.

Nabiki remained cool and collected. There was more to come,
she just knew it.

Soun was less restrained and much more voluble. He leapt to
his feet indignantly. "Saotome-kun, how could you keep
something like this from me? Do you know what this means
for the engagement? This ... this is dishonourable!"

{or maybe, depending on what you think the emphasis should be}
for the joining of the families!

Kasumi intervened before her father said something
irrevocable. "Perhaps Aunty Nodoka could explain further,
father."

Father."

"I'm sorry, Soun," Genma answered. "He is still my son
though. I formally adopted him when he was born. Thus,

son, though.

Ranma is a Saotome through Nodoka's bloodline and by name
as well." He looked at his old friend calmly, with more
control than anyone had ever seen. "What you make of it
is entirely up to you," he finished.

Cologne controlled the flare of disappointment bitterly.
If only ... if only Ranma hadn't been a Saotome, then his
other engagements to Akane and Ukyo would have been
worthless. On the other hand, matrilineal descent was all
that mattered to the Amazons and in the case of outsiders,

Amazons, and

even that wasn't much of a concern. It could have solved
everything.

"This shame is mine entirely, Tendo-san. If you feel this
dishonour impacts upon your family, I would be happy to
commit seppuku to reclaim both your honour and mine." Nodoka
eyes glinted, filled with steely resolve. Soun sat down
uncertainly, Nodoka's offer having deflected his mood of
righteous fury.

{That's Nodoka, IMO; she takes this stuff seriously. If memeory serves,
the traditional method of suicide for women was a knife driven into the
throat, but I can't remember the name for it. I don't think it's
"seppuku", as that means "cutting the belly".}

"Mom!" Ranma protested, finally finding his voice. "What
the heck do you mean that Pops isn't my father?!"

to his mind. He quickly shook himself free of the past and
watched for a moment where he could make the difference in

moment to see where {?}

the match. Ryoga didn't intend to just stay back and let a
girl rescue him without helping.

Kodachi panted softly, filling and expelling the breath from
her lungs. The demon was too strong. She had nicked him a
half-dozen times but had failed to come anywhere close to
the centre of the chest where most demons kept their souls.
Each time she'd been force to retreat from Oushi's deadly

forced

blows. One hit was likely to knock her unconscious. There
was no choice though. She'd have to leave herself open and

choice, though.

gamble on being quick enough to strike the final blow.

She darted forward, snaking out her soul weapon in whip form
to entangle the oni's legs. The demon was wise to the move,
having fallen victim once before, and sprang back. He landed
clumsily, momentarily thrown off-balance by his bulk and

bulk, and

spread out his arms to recover. That was enough, Kodachi
judged. She lunged forward, spear extended.

"Foolish little bitch," Oushi jeered. "Maybe I will keep you
alive as I rape you. Or perhaps, I'll torment you for

perhaps I'll

eternity. What do you think of that?"

Think, Kodachi, she commanded. The soul wasn't there, so it
had to be elsewhere. Her soul weapon and innate power
indicated that the demon hadn't removed its soul and
safeguarded in a vessel. So, if it wasn't in his chest,

safeguarded it in

perhaps somewhere ... lower. Her eyes dropped and she cursed
herself for a fool.

Ryoga winced involuntarily. That, he decided, really had to
hurt. A fact that was confirmed by the demon's piercing
screams of agony.

{Sentence fragment again; suggest} hurt. His judgment was confirmed

"Please," Nodoka said imploringly, "let me explain." The
words were directed to all of them but mostly to Ranma.

them, but {?}

"Eighteen years ago, when I was young, I was courted by a
handsome man. He was bright and wonderful and I fell in

wonderful, and {?}

love with him quickly."

Unnoticed, Genma's hand tightened on his teacup.

"Foolishly, I slept with him before marriage. Many times,"
she added self-consciously, "and I soon found myself
pregnant. I told him and he promised me marriage. I was

him, and

delighted, happy beyond belief but then he vanished. I

belief, but

couldn't find him or contact him and I knew I had been
deserted. I was determined to kill myself because my honour

It was Nabiki who broke the uncomfortable silence which had
built up. "But why are you telling us this now, Aunty? It
doesn't seem likely to change the current situation much.
Daddy may have second thoughts but our family honour is

thoughts, but

invested in joining the two Schools of Anything Goes Martial
Arts, and Ranma is legally a Saotome. I don't think Ukyo or
Shampoo will be deterred either. Both have too much at stake
as well."

{It's a surprising to hear this coming from Nabiki; she's always seemed
almost flippant about the whole engagement thing. I'm not saying it's
preposterous, but I think this may need more development.}

Nodoka shook her head in negation. "That wasn't why I
called you all here, dear. There's is more to the story than
I have mentioned. A month after I gave birth to Ranma, a bit
premature but not enough that people would gossip, he showed
up again. The man who had betrayed me. He appeared on our

{Sentence fragment; suggest} again: the man

doorstep one night, bleeding from many wounds. He was dying.
He had been hunted, fighting against one whom he had trusted
and even loved. We made him as comfortable as we could but
there was nothing else we could do. He asked to see Ranma
and that was when we learned what he was."

"What he was?" echoed Akane.

"Perhaps, he was not human," Cologne guessed.

"Perhaps he

"What?!" The shout seemed to come simultaneously from Ranma,
Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyo.

{And me. :) Followed quickly by the sound of gears grinding... it could
explain a lot of things.}
 

"Very good, Elder," Nodoka confirmed. "The reason I called
you all here today is because tomorrow is my son's
eighteenth birthday. Ranma, the powers that your father
sealed within you as a baby before dying will awaken
tomorrow." Nodoka stared at her son. "Your father," she
whispered, "was Yami-no-tsume, Demon Lord of the East and a
Cat Demon of great power."

{! This feels... interesting.  More at the end.}

This time the "What?!" echoed from everyone's lips except
for Kasumi and Ranma. Her response was true to form, and his
also.

"C...ca...cat?!"

{Aiyaaa.  The Bakeneko's gonna be pissed.  :) }

---

The grove of trees was silent once more. The only traces of
the previous battle was the small pile of ash and various

battle were the

claw and spear marks on the ground and trees. Falling rain
had rapidly turned the remains into black mush and washed
away the blood and sweat and pain. Then, the night stirred

Then the

again.

night. "You've had eighteen more years of life than you
deserve. But tomorrow, I shall steal both your powers and
your soul, dear brother!"

{This strengthens my suspicions.  :) }
 

---

Author's Notes:

1) Canonically speaking, Genma does make a few statements in
the manga indicating that Ranma is his true son.
Specifically, his claim in the Dragon Whisker story that
Ranma will inherit his baldness. All I can plead is artistic
license.

I can live with it.  Genma doesn't always tell the complete truth.  :)

Okay.  Closing comments:

Kodachi! Yes! She's so much fun to write (and read!), particularly if
you write her as a selfish, spoiled rich girl, but she doesn't have to
be psychotic or delusional. This "Devil Hunter" tie-in is just
wonderful.

Ranma: Oh, boy. This is going to have very interesting effects on the
web of relationships around him. Shampoo's probably going to think it's
a sign that they are fated to be together because of her Jusenkyo curse.
Akane's gonna be... umm... concerned. Kodachi's gonna be conflicted
between hunting the half-devil Ranma and, um, bagging him. :) Great
possibilities.

Flavor: this isn't a crossover, it's not quite a fusion; it's an
INfusion, I think, of elements from other manga... and I sure hope one
of them is Inu-Yasha, because that's what it feels like. Stir some
Inu-Yasha, with its occult powers, gory monsters, and cruel villains
into Ranma, and the result could be very exciting indeed.

Please, sir, can I have some more?  :)

Thanks for writing and sharing!

Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
CSUS hired me to build their LANs, not to give away the homeworld.