Right, problem was, the new server made my mail bounce for a while, so I was in vacation mode without 
knowing it. Oh well *shrug*.
Everyone who's missing some of the earlier volumes, be patient, I've got to get them from B-Chan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
===========================
PART III
All's Fair in Love, War and Kareoke.
===========================

"Are you going to sing, Nabiki?" Akane asked her sister. Up on stage, Ranma-chan finally managed to
complete the ending theme to El Hazard, kicking Kuno in the face as he reattempted to glomp her for the
fourth time.
"Are you kidding? Why would I do that when I have Kuno-baby to sponge off?" She looked at Akane, who gave
her a disbelieving look. Nabiki? Turn down the chance to get more money?! "OK," she sighed. "I'm
chicken," she admitted. "What about you?"
Ranma-chan flopped onto her chair. "That tomboy, sing? Are you mad?!"
Akane glared at her and stood up. "I'll show you, Ranma! Just you watch!" She stormed up to the stage and
grabbed the microphone. "\, Kiss me, I love the bearded barley, lightly, beside the green, green grass,
swing, swing, swing the spinning step, you wear those shoes and I will wear that dress... oh, kiss me,
beneath the milky twilight ...\,"
"OK, so the tomboy isn't half bad," Ranma-chan said grudgingly.
Kuno bounded forward. "Akane Tendo, I will fulfil your request!"
Akane kicked him in the head without breaking tune, then returned to her seat. "Ha! How was that then,
Ranma?!"
"You were OK, I suppose," Ranma-chan said in her best uninterested voice. 
They watched the judges whisper among themselves for a moment, before the main man (what else can I call
him??) walked to the centre of the stage. "The judges have made their decision. The winner is... Miss
Keiko Hibiki!"
"Yay!!" The black-haired kid (Now I can finally type her name!) bounced on stage and grabbed the prize
money. "Thanx!"
Ranma-chan and Akane exchanged glances. "Coincidence?" Akane asked weakly.
"Hibiki _is_ a pretty common surname..."
"Hold it, you delinquent!!" All heads turned to the little girl stood in the doorway. "You've stolen my
yen for the last time! I, Hinako Ninomiya shall bring you to justice!" She flicked a coin, catching it
between finger and thumb. "HAPPO FIFTY YEN..."
*PING*
With a growl, Hinako-chan rooted through her pockets. "Uh... HAPPO FIF..."
*PING*
Another bracelet knocked the coin from her grasp. "QUIT IT!!!"
"You've won the contest, kid, leave her alone," Ranma-chan advised. She lifted Keiko off the stage.
The child squirmed in her grip. "Don't let her get the yen! Put me down!"
"HAPPO FIFTY YEN SATSU!!"
*CHOMP*
Ranma-chan yelped and dropped Keiko like a hot potato as sharp teeth bit down on her arm. "You little..."
She paused in shock, feeling her strength fade. "What the..."
Everybody stared in shock as Hinako-chan's body grew, filling out her clothes and giving her height. She
stepped over Ranma-chan's drained body and advanced on Keiko. "Take this, you little thief!" She made a
triangle with her hands. "HAPPO NO YEN COIN RETURN!!"
At that moment, Ranma-chan stood up, only to be met will the full force of the blow. Keiko dodged and
Ranma-chan became a part of the wall. "Owww...."
"I did warn you!" was her parting call as she dashed out of the door, closely followed by the yelling
form of Hinako-chan.

"So when was it decided that _I_ was going to marry him?!" Ukyo growled.
Ryoga-chan sighed. "You're the girl, remember? Although..." She paused. "I don't see why he can't marry a
girl from here, though." 
"That I would do," proclaimed a voice behind her. Ryoga-chan jumped in surprise, turning to see Tinamous.
He bowed down. "However, you may not have noticed, but this realm is sparsely populated. Although there
are many pretty ladies here, there are not so many of my age, and those that are, my mother, the Lady
Ibis, would not permit me to wed."
"Shouldn't you have the choice though?" Ukyo asked. "I don't fancy being a divorcee at sixteen."
"Younger than you are happy mothers made," Tinamous quipped. "My mother is all-powerful here. I had to
fight for many months for the privilege to date with Yukio-chan."
Ryoga-chan sighed. *And too soon married are those so early made,* she though, remembering the line after
the one Tinamous had quoted. *My will to her consent is but a part... if Ucchan doesn't want to marry the
guy, she shouldn't have to,* she decided. "Lord Tinamous... would you permit _me_ to be your bride
instead of Ucchan?"
"If she would prefer," Tinamous said with a shrug. 
Ukyo stared at the other girl in amazement. "Y-you really mean it?" she whispered. *Maybe... maybe he
really _does_ like me!* 
Tinamous nodded slowly. "Very well then. I shall tell my mother that I will marry Ryoga."
A new voice cut through the air. "So! I turn my back for five minutes and you're already gathering new
brides!"
There, framed in the doorway was a woman with short, dark brown hair. She was wearing a peacock-blue
Chinese dress and a scowl. A bandage was wrapped around her head. Oh yeah. And she was carrying a frying
pan.
"Y... YUKIO-CHAN!!" Tinamous jumped forward, arms outstretched.
*CLANG*
"Don't you Yukio-chan me!" She lifted the frying pan and glared at him some more. "I fell off a ladder
and hit my head, winding up in hospital! Next thing I know, I'm being told you're choosing new brides!!!"
"T-the curse..." Tinamous whimpered in defence.
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*
"HALLOWEEN'S NOT FOR THREE WEEKS! YOU COULD'VE WAITED!!"
"I think I'm beginning to see the resemblance," Ryoga-chan noted.
Tinamous finally managed to detach himself from the frying pan. "Yukio-chan... let me explain!" He
grabbed her hands. "I did not know that you had been harmed. But, I do know that if by Halloween I am
unwed, you know that all females in the realm would die." He paused for dramatic effect. "This would
include you. Ryoga knows that I don't love her - she only agreed to marry me to help. Yukio-chan..." He
drew her close. "I love you. Will you marry me?"
Yukio looked at Ryoga-chan and Ukyo. "Is this the truth?"
"Oh, absolutely!"
"You betcha!"
Yukio turned her gaze back to the young lord. "Tina-chan... I accept you proposal."
"YATTA!!! Oops! Sorry!" Tinamous blushed.
Ukyo smiled. "I don't want to be a nag or anything... but can we go home now???!"

End Part III (Yeah, yeah... I know it was just a short one!)
Note - (Geez! An authors note!) In so many fanfics, the maidens are kidnapped for princes/ lords/ kings/
royal viziers/ magicians/ wizards/ goblins/ aged TV presenters as brides. I thought it would be
interesting for girls to be kidnapped by somebody who was entirely willing to let them go. ^_^

===========
PART IV
Sweet dreams.
===========

Urd covered her ears as her youngest siblings tuneless warbling cut through her meditation. (I.e.:
drinking sake and watching TV.) "Skuld! Shut up!"
Skuld ignored her. "\, ... wancha in my room, we'll *hic* spend the night together, fer now intill...\,"
She reached for the brandy again and Urd's eyes widened.
"NO!" She grabbed the bottle away. "No more for you, runt!"
Skuld's eyes welled up. "Y-you hate me?"
*Aw, geez!* For a second, Urd considered calling Belldandy over to calm Skuld down, quickly banishing the
idea as she realised she'd get a lecture on unhealthy amounts of alcohol. She knelt down and smiled at
her sister. "I don't hate you, Skuld-chan."
Skuld grinned, tears vanishing as quickly as they had appeared. Urd suddenly realised the lack of brandy
bottle in her arms and looked up just in time to see Skuld swig a mouthful. "Tank oo, Urd-neechan!" Urd
covered her ears as the lyrics started up again.
Much to the relief of Urd's sanity, Ryoga-chan and Ukyo entered the restaurant before Skuld could really
get into her singing. She stood up and bowed. "Hi, I..."
"YURE BACK!!!" Skuld dropped her bottle and glomped Ryoga-chan, knocking them both over. "I waaaas
soooooo worried!!!" She waved a finger blearily in front of the other girl's nose. "Don-dontcha EVER
scare l'il Skuld like dat agaaaaain!"
Ukyo developed a twitch under her eye (very much like Akane) and began to glow. "WELL! Don't let me
interrupt your happy reunion!!"
Ryoga-chan managed to struggle into a sitting-up position. "W-wait! It's not what you..."
*THUMP*
"... think..." she finished from beneath Ukyo's elbow before falling over unconscious.
"Wha-whatcha do that for?" Skuld mumbled, annoyed that the object of her support was less steady on it's
feet than she was. "He dida do nuthin' to you..." she trailed off, turning a shade of pale green. "I'm
gunna puke."
Urd managed to drag her to the bathroom before Skuld ... you know. "Sorry about that," she said
bashfully, returning. "I put some brandy in her cocoa and she decided she liked it."
"Who are you?" Ryoga-chan asked, rubbing her head. She glanced around the room. "Where'd Skuld go?"
"I'm Urd, Skuld's big sister. You must be Ryoga and Ukyo. I thought I should come and keep an eye on her
while you were away," she explained. "Skuld's in the bathroom, yakking up her guts." 
Ukyo grimaced. "Rather more information than we needed."
Ryoga-chan went through a quick dress-change/ sex-change before returning to the room. "We should go and
tell the others we're back..."
*GLOMP*
"Yay! You back!" Skuld chirruped, apparently none the worse for wear. Until she passed out, still
clinging to Ryoga's shirt.
*WHAMMO*
"OW!" 
"WHY DON'T YOU JUST MARRY HER?!!!"
Urd watched the scene with interest. *Getting these two together's gonna be one tough challenge,
alright!* She clapped her hands together. "Why not drop the sprog in her bed, then tell me how you
managed to escape?" she suggested.
Ukyo stopped turning Ryoga into bean paste for a moment. "We didn't escape, they let us go." 
"They let you go?!" Urd repeated in amazement. "But that defies all the 'maiden-stealing leading-men
living in magical lands' laws!" 
Ukyo decided not to question that remark. "I'm going to go visit Ranchan now. Come on, Ryoga."
"What? Me?" Ryoga pointed to himself in surprise. "You want me to come along too?"
*I'm not leaving you alone with _them_!* She grinned at him. "Dontcha want to see Akane?"
"I guess so..." he said half-heartedly, trying to detach himself from Skuld.

"Great-grandmother, Shampoo think mission is hopeless." The purple haired amazon looked around her at the
group of people. "Is no no good to try get lost with so many people, no? Someone always recognise place."
Cologne nodded slowly. "I believe you're right, Shampoo. We should return to Nerima and re-evaluate our
options."
Nabiki wearily agreed. "Nerima's not far if you go by bus."
"So once again, somebody knows where we are," Ranma grumbled. "Are you sure there's no other way to find
this place?"
"I could always wipe your mind clean of every place you've ever been, but you got rid of all my formula
114 shampoo," Cologne replied, glaring at Nabiki as she said this. Nabiki pretended not to notice and
Cologne turned away, looking at the rest of the group. "So we're all agreed - go back to the Tendo
homestead and make new plans, OK?"
The gang agreed reluctantly. "Hey, Kuno-baby, if you pay for all of us to get a taxi, I'll give you five
free photo's of the pigtailed girl," Nabiki offered.
"Sold!"
"HEY!"
"Not all of us are martial artists, Ranma," Nabiki whispered. "Unless you'd rather carry me back, I
suggest you shut up and enjoy the ride."

The two groups made it to the Tendo Dojo at the same time. I know, I know, Ryoga and Ukyo left ages ago,
but made a quick stop at Doctor Tofu's along the way. (Let's go through it step by step. Mikado makes
pass at Ukyo. Ryoga steps in to pound Mikado. Ukyo pounds Ryoga for interfering. Mikado makes another
pass at Ukyo. Ukyo pounds Mikado, then pounds Ryoga _again_ for not rescuing her.)
Akane was the first to notice them. "Ukyo! Ryoga! You're back!"
*Darn! Oh well...* Mousse did a quick inventory check. *Out of firearms. Guess I can wait a little
while.*
"They're back?" Cologne pogoed over. "Well, well. What a stroke of good fortune."
*GLOMP*
"Oh you're safe, you're back I was so worried I'm glad you're OK I..." Mihoshi wailed.
*WHAM*
"Gee, aren't you the casanova," Ukyo spat, once again attaching her elbow to Ryoga's face. "Pretty ladies
just quing up to welcome you home!" She stormed over to Ranma, hugging him tight. "Didja miss me,
Ranchan?"
"I-uh-um... Akane, it's not what it looks like, I swear!" Ranma yelled on instinct.
Akane simmered. "You think I'm going to throw a fit just because you're welcoming back a friend?" *A
friend, and NOTHING more!* "Is that how little you think of me?!"
*Dear brain. By the time you receive this message, you will be crushed to pieces. It was nice knowing
you.*
"RANMA, YOU JERK!"
*WHAM*
Ryoga slowly opened his eyes just in time to see Happosai loom into vision. "ARGH! HELP!"
*SPLASH*
"Why, hi there, cutie! Happy's happy to see you too!"
"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU DISGUSTING COCKROACH!!!" Ryoga-chan gritted her teeth and struggled for a few
moments before managing to channel several thousand gigawatts through the old man.
"How dare you act so disrespectfully to your elder?!" Happosai snarled. "I'll..."
Kasumi appeared at the door, instantly defusing the potentially dangerous situation. "Why, hello
everyone. Why not come in?"
As she stood aside to let them pass, Ranma grabbed Ryoga-chan by the arm. "Come with me. I found
something you might find useful," he whispered before jumping through his window.
*CRASH*
"Maybe it would have been less painful to open that window first, Ranma?" Ryoga-chan said dryly.
Ranma grumbled to himself for a moment, before walking (maybe painfully crawling is a better way to put
it) over to his rucksack and pulling out a scroll. "Here. I found it when I was looking for the
Desperation Strikes," he explained, tossing it to her.
*Could it be... the way to a cure? Ranma's found a cure and he's willing to share it!* Ryoga-chan
unrolled the scroll eagerly and read it. Her expression changed from happy to confused, then to furious.
"Is this some kind of joke?!!"
"Nope. That's tried and true techniques, passed down thr-ack!" 
Ryoga-chan shook him by the collar. "Saotome..."
"I was only trying to help, y'ungrateful jerk!" Ranma asked, pulling away. "You don't want it then?" "I
guess I'll hold onto it for a little while," Ryoga-chan replied unenthusiastically. 

Ukyo couldn't sleep. 
Pounding her pillow, she closed her eyes again, trying to empty her mind. Didn't even come close to
working. With a sigh, she sat up and glared at the two soused goddesses sprawled asleep on the floor.
*Maybe a nice, hot drink will help...* she thought, getting up and making her way to the kitchen. Waiting
for the kettle to boil, her senses suddenly sprang to all-alert. *Footsteps...* She quickly dashed to the
doorway and looked up the stairs, then heaved a sigh of relief. "Skuld!"
Skuld plopped onto a chair and leaned her head against the table. "My head hurts..." she whined.
"I'm not surprised," Ukyo said dryly. "You knocked back almost a whole bottle of brandy when you were
worrying about Ryoga." She turned back to the kettle and poured out a cup of tea. "Want some?" she asked,
turning back to the goddess. 
A thought suddenly jumped to the front of her mind, screaming for attention. *Skuld and Ryoga!*
*CRASH*
"Whawas that?" Skuld asked weakly, lifting her head off the table.
"I-uh I dropped my cup..." Ukyo stuttered, backing out of the room. She ran up the stairs and sat down on
one of the armchairs in her living room. *Skuld and Ryoga... are a couple!* She mentally kicked herself.
Why hadn't she spotted it?! After all, Skuld was a cute goddess. She could have anyone she wanted. And
Ryoga was hardly unattractive either, she admitted to herself. She should have noticed it! She popped up
in his bath, they were always talking in his room, and they often disappeared at the same time - no
doubt, out on some kind of date together. *I've been dumped for a goddess,* she thought dismally. *This
_really_ sucks!*

Ryoga _could_ sleep.
This doesn't mean he enjoyed it. Ranma's scroll had brought _that_ subject to the front of his mind, the
one he was trying his hardest to forget about. Yup, THAT subject. Kissing Ukyo. 
Unfortunately, every likely scenario he could think of ended with grievously serious actual bodily harm
and loss of money /pride / body parts.
And like many people under a hell of a lot of stress (Macbeth, Anastasia, loads of the kids in the
Nightmare on Elm Street films and my mate Cecilia), he started sleepwalking, his mind still searching for
a solution that didn't involve mass amounts of pain.
It was on Ukyo's return to her room that she walked into him. Instantly, The Likely Scenario went into
replay. (Find Ukyo, kiss her, wait for pain, recuperate in hospital for the next six months.)
Skuld stumbled up the stairs behind her. "He's sleepwalking 'gain," she noted.
"It's not another demon, is it?" Ukyo asked, before slapping herself in the forehead. *Why am I asking
somebody who's veins are 70% alcohol?!*
Skuld swayed. "Naaah. Jus' shove 'im bach in his room an' he'll be fine."
Some sixth sense told Ryoga that there was somebody in front of him. "... Ucchan?"
"Yeah?" Ukyo asked, spinning around. *Sleep-talking too. That's it buddy, you are going to a sleep clinic
tomorrow!*
Her response reached Ryoga, interacting with the Ukyo in his dream. *OK, first checkpoint. Find Ukyo -
check. Second checkpoint (as if he could forget it!). Kiss her.* Now, how did Shampoo do it?
"Come on, you," Ukyo said, taking hold of his arm. "Let's get you back-mmph!"
Whatever she had been expecting, it _definitely_ wasn't for Ryoga to lean forward, wrap his arms around
her waist, whisper "Je t'aime," and gently kiss her on the lips, effectively cutting off both the rest of
her sentence and all rational thought. Frozen in shock, she simply stood there, blinking in amazement
until he pulled away. 
Skuld began to wonder exactly how much she'd had to drink. 
Ryoga continued to wait for pain, pain that Ukyo was in too much shock to dish out. Finally, he accepted
that nothing was going to happen to him, and he wandered away - surprisingly enough, back to his own
room.
Ukyo slowly turned around and stared at Skuld. "D-did he just... d-did we... you saw... did he..."
Skuld nodded. "He did."
Ukyo nodded slowly. "He was asleep, right?"
"Right."
"You are drunk, right?"
"Yup."
"Nobody need ever know about this," Ukyo finished, heading back to her room. *And I'm never going to
think about it again.*

End Part IV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponry Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
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Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !
"I just went to Germany, and all I got was this lousy sig!"